The Big Fat Altmer Poll! : V - Skyrim

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:19 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=816rQRaQT3o :gun:

Normal high elf.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:44 am

Normal high elf.

Owyn sure isn't :biggrin:

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:08 am

As a fellow Dunmer I personally believe Altmers are here to amuse us, clearly the OP is deluded, but let him rant, all the more fun for us.

Indeed. Altmers are quite amusing to watch when they aren't constantly whining about the most insignificant things.

I shall continue to watch as they fail trying to prove their superiority as much as they fail in general combat. Even the Bosmer have the courage to move forward and fight, compared to the Altmer who just run and hide.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:15 pm

I know when I kill a altmer. They cry like little babies when I kill them and then I make a nice carpet wrom their golden skin. :evil:

No, not really. That would be a ugly and smelly carpet.

Really? an altmer carpet? their skin is so thin and weak it would tear from a simply glance

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 1:08 am

This is the most ridiculous poll that I've seen in a while

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:32 am

This thread is beginning to weird me out a little bit...

Yes, the Altmer are alright, I'm playing one currently on Oblivion. For Skyrim, I'm looking to give the Nords another shot. I just couldn't play as one in Oblivion, the voice was so annoying. I imagine since TES V takes place in the Nords' homeland, that more attention will be paid to the race.

I don't really have a favorite race anymore. I find myself playing as everything.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:49 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-UQ5BO0iBk

» Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:05 pm

High Elves are hilarious creatures. I guess they talk so big to hide the shame of their greatest weakness. I would play them if I wasn't at risk for having them dead within seconds of creating one, maybe Skyrim will change my opinion of them. I mean, talking tough is fine, but if they can't back it up, I'll always get a kick out of leaving their "superior" corpses to rot.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:02 am

Yes, yes, wathever you say. But I'm a Nord and I have and axe.

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwyocwJScg1qausevo1_400.jpg

» Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:24 pm

This thread is moot. All races are equally inferior to Ayleids. So inherently, your all inferior to me bwahahahahahaha.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:35 am

This thread is moot. All races are equally inferior to Ayleids. So inherently, your all inferior to me bwahahahahahaha.

So how does your people feel about leaving behind ruins far inferior to the dwemer ruins?

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:18 am

To be fair.. all races, including Ayleids, are inferior to cliffracers. Heck they don't need no Dovahkiin to beat the dragons.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:19 am

Yes, yes, wathever you say. But I'm a Nord and I have and axe.

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwyocwJScg1qausevo1_400.jpg

Axes dont do much good if I damage your strength to the point you cant lift it anymore, let alone your legs.
And leave you as a cliff racer perch in my gardens surrounding Tel Uvirith.

But lets not be enemies. I am certain that a venerable race as the Nords have the patience to teach an old Altmer about your fascinating culture and history.
Why dont we meet in an inn or tavern sometime? We can share a bottle of brandy and have a good meal.
I am eager to hear more famous stories of blood and glory from the Nord culture, and mayhap I can enlighten you to us Altmer in some way, should you so desire.

» Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:59 pm

To be fair.. all races, including Ayleids, are inferior to cliffracers. Heck they don't need no Dovahkiin to beat the dragons.

And yet a single Dunmer managed to eradicate them. I guess that means Dunmer are the most superior XD

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:44 am

This thread is moot. All races are equally inferior to Ayleids. So inherently, your all inferior to me bwahahahahahaha.

Seen any elves?

Axes dont do much good if I damage your strength to the point you cant lift it anymore, let alone your legs.
And leave you as a cliff racer perch in my gardens surrounding Tel Uvirith.

But lets not be enemies. I am certain that a venerable race as the Nords have the patience to teach an old Altmer about your fascinating culture and history.
Why dont we meet in an inn or tavern sometime? We can share a bottle of brandy and have a good meal.
I am eager to hear more famous stories of blood and glory from the Nord culture, and mayhap I can enlighten you to us Altmer in some way, should you so desire.

If you change the word "brandy" for "mead", it would be a pleasure.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:36 am

Being an Orc who was unlucky enough to also be born an Atronarch I did stumble upon some luck. I collected a couple trinkets called Spell Drinker's Amulet and Spellbreaker Shield. Low and behold no spell has ever harmed me since. Poor Altmers just feed me power with their silly hand waving and mumbling. They truly look like patients in a mental ward. The look on their faces as I bash them in repeatedly with my maces is PRICELESS. Such a beautiful squishing sound in contrast of their pathetic squeaky language. I should probably visit the Summerset Isles and purge Tamriel of their ignorance.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:00 am

So how does your people feel about leaving behind ruins far inferior to the dwemer ruins?

Pshtah, steam pipes are pathetic compared to our almighty welkynd stones and great welkynd stones. It takes a sophisticated taste to appreciate our stone architecture and the fact our cities are underground.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:18 am

Axes dont do much good if I damage your strength to the point you cant lift it anymore, let alone your legs.
And leave you as a cliff racer perch in my gardens surrounding Tel Uvirith.

But lets not be enemies. I am certain that a venerable race as the Nords have the patience to teach an old Altmer about your fascinating culture and history.
Why dont we meet in an inn or tavern sometime? We can share a bottle of brandy and have a good meal.
I am eager to hear more famous stories of blood and glory from the Nord culture, and mayhap I can enlighten you to us Altmer in some way, should you so desire.

Well I am a breton with 50% magic resistance. Your pitiful attacks are futile against me! I will summon my wraith to destroy you, casually healing what little damage you may bestow upon me.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:16 am

Seen any elves?

HEY! Alessia cheated. She made a pack with Akatosh to cut off our endless armies. It's not our fault the beast folk and imperials we enslaved reproduce like rabbits and over ran us. Besides, there are still some of us pure blood Ayleids still wandering the world, so watch your back!

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:37 am

And yet a single Dunmer managed to eradicate them. I guess that means Dunmer are the most superior XD

And yet the Argonians managed to wipe out Morrowind.
Argonians win!

» Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:04 pm

Pshtah, steam pipes are pathetic compared to our almighty welkynd stones and great welkynd stones. It takes a sophisticated taste to appreciate our stone architecture and the fact our cities are underground.

All the remains are old stones often to nothing more than recharge magical abilities items, something which the common enchanter can do anyway. The great dwemers still have their magnificent creations walk tamriel to this day. As a Dunmer I find the dwemer culture most fascinating and was suverely disapointed in the lack of similar greatness when i visited the Ayleid ruins in Cyrodill

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:22 pm

And yet a single Dunmer managed to eradicate them. I guess that means Dunmer are the most superior XD

He didn;t really drive them away. Truth is they all migrated to Cyrodill for the next game, but couldn't make it in time. They had plenty of time to make it to Skyrim though :bolt:

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:13 am

On the flip side, Altmer do make good firewood...

» Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:42 pm

Funny poll. Why can′t I choose all of the options? :teehee:

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:12 am

Altmer are the Sheldon Coopers of Nirn (though with lower IQs). Similar voice, too.