The Big Fat Altmer Poll! : V - Skyrim

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:28 am

Funny poll. Why can′t I choose all of the options? :teehee:

Because all the sane person needs, is the option to kill them on sight.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:33 am

Brother Anon,

Yes, being away from the glorious isles for decades does make the heart grow fond of home.
Indeed, I plan to set sail as soon as my work in Tamriel proper is complete, wich should not take long, five to ten years at most.
Please understand me brother that I do not comment on the obvious savagery of the lesser races, but upon their innate intelligence.
Long has it been held that, say, an Argonian did not really understand the sounds it was making. Rather, it would have associated certain sounds with certain happenstances and made a connection between the sound 'food' and actual food.
However, my detailed and in depth studies have brought to light that while they are savage and unrefined, yes, they do posess 'the spark of understanding'.
I shall not go in detail on the various mundane and arcane experiments involved, just know that it was a costly and lenghty endeavour.
I am confident that I have gathered enough case studies, conversed with a proper amount of ancestor spirits (The mere fact that they have those is an indicator) and made enough experimentations to refute the theory (accepted as it is, it is still a theory) that the beast races are not sentient.

In my mind however I have already moved a step further, towards the implications of my theory.
Do you see, it may be possible for them to achieve enlightenment and to follow the proper old ways!
With enough incentive and education, of course.
It has been my long held belief that education is the bane of savagery.

May your path be well lit,
Merari

My dear Merari,

The mere thought of being away from my beloved Isles for even a few days, never mind decades, is almost too much to comprehend. Nevertheless, your composed and logical prose does not cry of your having been in any way intellectually weakened by your travels, and your arguments exhibit the glorious simplicity and persuasiveness of the Altmeri academic mind in action. I am in a state of deep shock as I write this, my pen quivering in my hand, but, by the nines, if what you say has even the slightest shred of truth to it then the implications for the future of the Altmer would be enormous! For too long have we cowered under Imperial rule, reticent to rebel lest their greater numbers decend upon our shores, taking away what remains of our traditions.

However, if what you say is correct, and I have no reason to doubt you, and the beast races are indeed capable of using reason and language, then, in time, they may be persuaded to adopt our customs and observances, and return Tamriel to the glories of the old ways, before the Empire, as you so cogently point out in your last letter! We know that our own cousins, the Bosmer and the Dunmer, intellectually and socially stunted as they are as a result of their aeons-long absence from their motherland, have been assimilated so wholly by the corrupt influence of the Empire to be of any real assistance to us.

But with the beast races being so universally distrusted throughout Tamriel then perhaps, if we manged to get them on our side (and with our endless intellectual nous there is no reason why we should not be able to do so), then perhaps we will finally be able to rise up and mount a glorious rebellion against our oppressors, and ensure that the glory of Akatosh, as interpreted by our elders, flourishes throughout all of Tamriel!

Of course, the problem of what to do with the Orcs will still remain. I assume that when you speak of sentient beast races then, hard as it is for my old eyes to believe, you are of course writing about the slithery Argonians and the disease-ridden Khajiits. I cannot for a second even contemplate the idea that the races of Orcs scattered throughout our continent are capable of producing anything other than a series of grunts and groans, far less being capable of producing syntactically correct intonations resembling anything close to what we would consider "speech". Of course, such speculations are foolish. Everyone knows that the Orcs are mindless barbarians, and that the age-old problem of how to best purge them from existence will of course remain.

Brother Merari, I will ensure that your letters from lands far away are taken to the appropriate authorities, and it is certain that upon your return you will be required to stand before our elders and explain your findings in minute detail. Perhaps then the greater task of using the beast races for our own ends can begin in earnest!

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 1:11 pm

Well I am a breton with 50% magic resistance. Your pitiful attacks are futile against me! I will summon my wraith to destroy you, casually healing what little damage you may bestow upon me.

For a real Altmer, that poses no great threat.
We are trained in the old way, and our knowledge does not end with what you call magic.

I am sorry to inform you that the Altmeri you may have met on your travels are not true Altmer at all, at least not to us from Summerset.
Mostly born on the mainland, or fled there out of shame, hardly any of them follow the proper ways as dictated by the ancestors.
You may have met chancellor Ocato on your travels, who comes close to a true Summerset Altmer, but he is one of the few examples that I can think of.

But, lets not engage in futile hostility.
You man-mer from High Rock have many things in common with us, and perhaps it would be more profitable for the both of us were we to engage in a friendly sharing of knowledge instead.
I am sure you know many historical tales from the early eras that I would be fascinated by, and conversely I can teach you a spell or two.
Much more is gained from a peaceful exchange of cultures than a violent one, I have always held.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:45 pm

"High Elves are so far ahead of the other races, picking them feels like cheating"

Awesome poll is awesome.

» Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:39 pm

For a real Altmer, that poses no great threat.
We are trained in the old way, and our knowledge does not end with what you call magic.

I am sorry to inform you that the Altmeri you may have met on your travels are not true Altmer at all, at least not to us from Summerset.
Mostly born on the mainland, or fled there out of shame, hardly any of them follow the proper ways as dictated by the ancestors.
You may have met chancellor Ocato on your travels, who comes close to a true Summerset Altmer, but he is one of the few examples that I can think of.

But, lets not engage in futile hostility.
You man-mer from High Rock have many things in common with us, and perhaps it would be more profitable for the both of us were we to engage in a friendly sharing of knowledge instead.
I am sure you know many historical tales from the early eras that I would be fascinated by, and conversely I can teach you a spell or two.
Much more is gained from a peaceful exchange of cultures than a violent one, I have always held.

No way! I will not associate with those foolish enough to tan in butter.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:57 pm

My dear Merari,

The mere thought of being away from my beloved Isles for even a few days, never mind decades, is almost too much to comprehend. Nevertheless, your composed and logical prose does not cry of your having been in any way intellectually weakened by your travels, and your arguments exhibit the glorious simplicity and persuasiveness of the Altmeri academic mind in action. I am in a state of deep shock as I write this, my pen quivering in my hand, but, by the nines, if what you say has even the slightest shred of truth to it then the implications for the future of the Altmer would be enormous! For too long have we cowered under Imperial rule, reticent to rebel lest their greater numbers decend upon our shores, taking away what remains of our traditions.

(snip)

Brother Merari, I will ensure that your letters from lands far away are taken to the appropriate authorities, and it is certain that upon your return you will be required to stand before our elders and explain your findings in minute detail. Perhaps then the greater task of using the beast races for our own ends can begin in earnest!

Brother Anon,

Yes I agree the endeavor is paramount.
But we must heed the fate of the Dwemer.
While their methods were very different, our goals were the same and we must bide our time, enhance our knowledge.

The Dwemer's folly was that their river ended in a narrow canol, and the force of their endeavour when eventually contained in that canol was so great that they had to ride the rapids, there was no more hope of disembarking.

We must take the utmost care not to repeat their mistakes, and only fully sever all other options when the outcome is already written in stone.
Therefore I submit that while we accrue knowledge, allies, power, we do so peacefully and not by force.

The signs foretell the dragon is stirring.

May you path be well lit,
Merari.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:03 am

Brother Anon,

Yes I agree the endeavor is paramount.
But we must heed the fate of the Dwemer.
While their methods where very different, our goals were the same and we must bide our time, enhance our knowledge.

The Dwemer's folly was that their river ended in a narrow canol, and the force of their endeavour when eventually contained in that canol was so great that they had to ride the rapids, there was no more hope of disembarking.

We must take the utmost care not to repeat their mistakes, and only fully sever all other options when the outcome is already written in stone.
Therefore I submit that while we accrue knowledge, allies, power, we do so peacefully and not by force.

The signs foretell the dragon is stirring.

May you path be well lit,
Merari.

Brother,

You are a wiser sage than I will ever be. Whilst I sit in my chamber, maniacally cackling at the thought of some slimy Argonian speaking, or a smelly Khajiit using cutlery with his meals (an image that I still have a hard time accepting), you are actually out there, in the wild, so to speak, observing these very things happening. You must be aware, however, that your peaceful views are not shared by all of your kin here in Summerset, and the very thought of literate and cultured beast races would be enough for some of our kind to demand that we invade their homelands, in an effort to eradicate what they would see as a perversion of the dignity of mer.

Tread lightly upon your return with your assertions, brother Merari, as you shall be in an instant changing the entire world-view of our people, and not everyone will be so willing to embrace the change which you seek to bring.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:00 am

Brother Anon,

For your personal amusemant it may interest you that argonians are quite clean, and mostly odourless unless they scent themselves with oil. If you want smelly, visit the Bosmer. They live on a diet of solely meat and it gets a bit.. whiffy.

While I agree my beliefs are less.. narrow that those of our elders, (blessed be the elders who follow the old way and guide us in the will of those who walked before), I feel it wont matter what path they shall choose.

Where the spheres of Anu and Padomay meet is the Wheel.
The hub of the Wheel is the Mundus.
The spokes that bind the Wheel are the cursed Aedra.
The void between the spokes number sixteen and are the Daedra.
The Tower is the I that sees the wheel sideways.
And the Wheel turns.

The dragon stirs, brother, and may awaken this time.
And a new kalpa upon us.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:13 am

The people have spoken

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:05 am

Altmer are superior. Almost always play as altmer. List:
1) Altmer; superior
02) Nord; best fighters
3) Breton; well, second option as mage.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:19 am

Best race? I think not...Bretons all day. :disguise: Altmer have to be my least favorite race...no offence. Bretons>Altmer

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 1:20 am

The great Altmer must stick together against the barbaric rabble of Skyrim.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:51 am

High Elves are awesome. Whilst most of us are keenly aware of this axiomatic point, and the fact that High Elves are a class apart from the other races, there are, believe it or not, some mortals out there who would refute such logic. So for all the naysayers, allow me to drop some science on the reasons behind the Altmer being the raddest race out there.

The Altmer are the tallest race, standing high above the lesser inhabitants of Tamriel. They have skin which radiates with a kind of golden glow, further displaying their obvious superiority. They are the most magically adept race in all of Tamriel, and their intelligence in unsurpassed. High Elves are known to be aloof and snobby, but wouldn't you be if you had an inner conviction that you were utterly awesome?

In Skyrim, I hope that the Altmer voice actor(s) and actress(es) have a really condescending and dismissive tone of voice. I want any player silly enough to play as a race other than a High Elf to feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves whenever they engage in convesation with one of the game's Altmers. I also hope, although for logistical reasons I can see why it would be rather impossible, for player-controlled High Elves to be treated differently by NPC Altmers, in the sense that NPC Altmers would be gracious and hospitable to the player-controlled Altmer, and haughty and sarcastic when talking any other PC-controlled race. Make it happen Bethesda!

...I'd love to see your Altmer take on my Telvanni...

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:16 am

Brother Anon,

For your personal amusemant it may interest you that argonians are quite clean, and mostly odourless unless they scent themselves with oil. If you want smelly, visit the Bosmer. They live on a diet of solely meat and it gets a bit.. whiffy.

Ha ha ha ha! Yes, those smelly little Wood Elves are an embarrassment to our elven ancestry! I wonder, brother, are the rumours that the Bosmer eat the flesh of their fallen mer enemies really true? What assortment of vile and base perversities do those wretched little creatures get up to? I eagerly await your return, brother, whereby we can learn from your excursions.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:39 am

I was never really fond of any of the Mer races, especially the Altmer. I'm all about the Nord and Imperials. But if they really improve the looks on them I will give them a go as my mage.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:03 am

So how does your people feel about leaving behind ruins far inferior to the dwemer ruins?

ah yes the foolish dwemer who, I believe "un-created" themselves into oblivion (not THAT oblivion) yes clearly they are really intelligent *another snobbish laugh*

the alyieds are no better, getting "owned" ; as the laymen say; by a bunch of ape like humans.

clearly BOTH races have only "ruins" left for a good reason.

» Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:33 pm

Pfff... The only thing the Altmer are good for is testing out my new blades!

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:52 am

An Altmer would never even see me. My arrow would fly through the air, slicing the soft tissue between your ribs. Dunmer for life! :tongue:

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:43 am

I was going to put the last option about being the most ridiculous poll I've seen in a while, but then I remembered that "Player dies at the end of the MQ" poll that I read 15 min ago and honestly this didn't top that. So I'm just gonna murder some Altmer in Skyrim. :flamethrower:

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:51 pm

Altmer. Putting the "squishy" in "squishy wizard" since the merethic era.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:39 am

It is a pity that the other races cannot see the greatness in the Altmer that I, as an Altmer, can see in them.

From the wily and clever Argonians to the heroic and honourable Nords, sturdy Dunmer and cunning Imperial, you all have traits to be admired and lessons to teach me.

If I was truly superior I would refrain from mentioning at this point that our embrace of your validity, while you do not respect ours, only proves that I in fact am, only I have my weaknesses and could not resist.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:51 am

haha *snobbish laugh" honestly you must have mistaken your poor victim for an Altmer, he was probably a poor Bosmer who did not know magic at all, as for me I stopped counting ash piles of the lesser race enemies I killed after it hit double digits.

In Skyrim we shall teach the Nords a thing or two about showing proper respect

Altmer >>>>:flamethrower: :flamed: <<<<< Nord

you realize that the nord is just shaking off the spell and just laughing about it.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:50 am

Ha ha ha ha! Yes, those smelly little Wood Elves are an embarrassment to our elven ancestry! I wonder, brother, are the rumors that the Bosmer eat the flesh of their fallen mer enemies really true? What assortment of vile and base perversities do those wretched little creatures get up to? I eagerly await your return, brother, whereby we can learn from your excursions.

Oh don't remind me, I visited that retched tree they call home 30 years ago, and I stumbled upon some books there ;yes they have books I was shocked as well; that mentioned that Bosmer will not only eat the flesh of enemies, they will, in fact, eat each other in case they should come under a long siege, they won't touch anything that comes out of a planet, be it fruit or vegetable and would rather eat a corpse than pick a perfectly good apple that is going to fall and rot on the ground anyways!!!

I shall go to Skyrim before this year ends, Cyrodil has become quiet boring, though I will be sad to leave Shadowcrest manor, but new adventure awaits, and I will be sure to document the savagery of the Nords as I explore there land.

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:21 am

Of course, Altmer are very high and mighty, and an Altmer mage is one to be feared...

...until he gets an arrow in the heart from my Dunmer Assassin from 200 feet away.

jus' sayin

» Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:48 am

you realize that the nord is just shaking off the spell and just laughing about it.

its usually more like twitching and screaming in agony to be honest, I will surely enjoy slaying more of them as I learn new spells when I leave for Skyrim next winter (non undeserving I might add), although I do hear they have quiet the hospitality, I shall wait and see, Cyrodil was too bland for me and I look forward for a more interesting culture.