im a medium build character with buffed sprint speed attempting to flank the hostiles, i mantle over some high railing and jump over a broken table to find that i have just face checked the whole of the enemy team. As the bullets start flying i escape with my health bar barely intact thanks to a quick slide to lower my profile and quickly go back the way i came. But oh no! i leaped off of something just above my head, surely i cannot jump that high! I cannot in fact, therefore i will have to do the next best thing- Climb the thing and get out of doge! as i make good on my escape an Engineer is in a position to give me some cover fire so i yell as loud as my screamy man-voice can muster into the microphone "OhMyGodHelpMeTheirAllBehindMeAndTheirGonnaKillMeNoooo-ho-hoooooooo". I then see him place a devestateing level 4 turret and heel-face-turns to leave and yells to a soldier that he needs ammo. i manage to make it back to the squad for the enevitable firefight but woe is me- a light operative with a single shot rifle reveals his true colors and shoots me in my manly overdevolped spine 2 times and i am taken down...Six seconds later i am treated to the black and white sight of a Heavy clad in olny shorts a do-rag a face mask and a wife beater running twords me carrying a mini-gun... and he promptly tosses me a hypodermic needle. As any sane man would react i stab myself with reckless abandon and i feel better and remember were i droped my gun, sadly when i fell...
I landed on my keys, my useless useless keys.