"Can memories fade?"
I had to ask aloud. I had been getting impaled by the thought for a few days now. Even thought the sun was nice and bright, warming to the skin, sending exuberant spokes of pure warmth reflecting off of the straw roofs in town, I felt cold asking. As many icicles hung off of the words, the tundra of Skyrim whirling from my throat after each syllable, eyes looked to me. Nine of them, to be exact. Inrowan had lost an eye a few years back. He was the least rugged looking though; if you could imagine. For a moment; which seemed to pass all too quick, for I really wanted no answer, I just wanted to feel alleviated from the stone that was the question venerating on my mind; there was a pause. I sort of sighed. But silently, to myself. To sigh is to loose a hidden battle. An emotion one, a ribbed spear of bone fornicating your mind, you could say. Then, the oldest and least wise elf to ever walk this determinant land spoke up. My eyes almost flew into a back flip, and I would have let them if I had my baklava on, they could have done traqeze acts for all I care. But I refrained, caught myself, used muscle empowerment to let him continue on his hollow campaign.
"Memories are forever. Even after you die, your memories still live on," I felt my stomach tense up, "and affect the Aether in unseen ways. How could anything like that possibly fade? Memories are what give us building blocks to ideas, and give us experience. Memories are what we make and what we keep. Gold will come and go, women the same. But memories of what you did with that gold and those women...those are forever."
I just sat back down in my chair. I couldn't argue, I couldn't retaliate, I could only slightly nod my head and wonder where he was for most of his life. Probably locked up doing menial things. Sharpening daggers or something. No one really knew about each others past though. That wasn't our goal. On the mirroring side, though, I did feel better about asking the question. I hardly ever talked, but when I did it was always questions that no one seemed to have an answer for. Well, great. I suppose there has to be some form of thought production. Now it was my turn to listen, any way. Inrowan was giving us this plan, you see. Not like a normal plan that we'd all heard a thousand one six times over the years. No, it was a big plan. Lots of adjectives to justify the importance. Lots of diagrams and drawings to try and let our measly, timid minds comprehend what we were about to do. I swear I knew about half of what he was going to say before he said it, just in my mind it took about sixty less words to lay out. But you could tell he was trying to draw it out. Either he wanted to sound real important, martyr-like or kingly, or he was gaining every second of postponement he could because he didn't want to really go through with it. But we sat and listened. The evils in this world had to be dealt with, right? But I always wondered...did the people ever realize that evil to one is righteous to another? Even Daedra worship... if it really was so bad and anti-dogmatic, why would there be massive cult followings? The Nine tried to glorify themselves in being Givers to this world, but whence they think that they are the only good, they fail to realize that the Daedra are just as important, having realms over every aspect of our lives as well. They were just more abstract with the roundel of it. Whatever the case, we all sat there, and the next day we would journey out, just like we always did. This time, out to the western side of the world. Never had been there, but maybe once. Not much to see, though. Lots of trees and grass...and putrid aromas. But it was a break from the monotonous wheat and weed along flat lands that we had all been looking at for a few weeks now.
I never liked staying in one place too long.
After our bland talk, we all set our own paths for the night. Galeom and Turstand, the old bastard that thought he was more suited to preach from atop Nirn, hit the pub. It was an alright place, I suppose. Always the familiar faces, a few characters too. One guy, some Nord fellow, who actually gets better at playing Nine Holes the more drunk he gets. And the proprietor. He was a good Altmer. Timid, though. In a verbose kind of way. Seemed like he had a bad childhood. Bad as in his parents raised him to be a man in all manners except in having pride and heart. He'd let someone rack up their tab to over a hundred Septims and then they'd usually just skip town. He was an idiot, but like I said, a good person. He certainly wasn't as blood-boring as most of the people in the area. Inrowan, Imugo gra-Kimsall, and Tabbith went out to the guilds and shops. I knew Imugo had a job to turn in at the Fighter's Guild. He was smart enough about it, rose up in the ranks to a Journeyman and got nice discounts here and there. The guildhall stewardess was another story. She was a little TOO smart about it. She'd have contracts to kill certain people in certain places close to mines, say they were smugglers or rogue assassins. It was land-grabbing to the fullest extent. She also always kept a Skeleton Lord summoned to her side. Not for the protection, but for the symbolism. I had known a Khajiit a few years back who was Morag Tong who did the same thing with a Lich. Just perused around town with a Lich looming nearby. As if to say, 'You know what, I can control this Lich, and I can control you.' Never struck me, but others would give a few amorousness-filled glances at him. But the stewardess had these eyes that were just so hungry, so I never bothered to get to know her. Not like it would have mattered, we were leaving soon anyway.
Just another face in the mist.
Myself, I just hit the lake outside of town. Sat with my hand patrolling back and forth in a line in the water. I wasn't a philosophical man by any means, but I liked to watch the moons distort in the ripples. Gave me a good look on life. And death. Or, witnessing both flash by in the blink of an eye. I wasn't in a hurry to get myself known, or to make a fortune, or to save the world. I was in a hurry to not be in such a haze, though. I mostly wanted to see the ripples lift up out of the water, the fluorescent child moons grieving in every which way as they rose up, all warped and mulled, and as they were placed next to the two real moons as if to be mocked at. Okay, so maybe I was getting a bit too philosophical about things. But it was fine, no one could judge me when I was alone. But I never did feel all lone. I always had a Lich or a Skeleton Lord summoned up near me. Even a spirit, or a wraith. Black wraiths, dense and smoggy; and white ghosts, thin and crystalline. Duality was all part of the job. Saving and killing. Earning and spending. Laughing and begetting. Sharpening and dulling. After a few hours, though, I had the feeling everyone was already back to the house, so I got up and threw a single bladed leaf into the lake that I had been twirling between my fingers for a while, and watched the moons give a wave-linked dance one last time. I was wrong, when I got back to the house I was greeted by emptiness. It made falling asleep a lot easier, though, without a big Orc snoring and shaking the bed frame.