The Dead Age
By: Vinny D
I just love Bethesda and want to tell a story in the glorious world they created.



The Dead Age
By: Vinny D
I just love Bethesda and want to tell a story in the glorious world they created.



A hundred years have past sense the fall of the Empire, sense the true demise of cyrodiil at the hands of the Viticath. Not even the champion, who had aided Martin Septim and the Blades in the defeat of Merunes Dagon, was able to stand against the Viticath. The champion fell without even getting a chance to loose his legendary sword, his armor falling to the stone floor of the counsil chamber, bodiless.
After the fall of the champion, Arch Councilman Ocato and the Legion army Cyrodiil was easy to take, and take the Viticath did. To this day the Viticath and his mysterious army holds Cyrodiil, till now he had made no pass at the other lands, but all of that is to change. It is now known by the remnant, who dwell on an island outside Cyrodiil, the weakness and identity of the Viticath.


Chapter I
Brother Hood of the Rikatiath


A group of men and women sat around extravagant looking table in a medium sized hall in there base just outside the small town of Suran. Suran was located in the southern hills of Vvardenfell.
"We have been asked to assist a group of shady folk who live on an island near Cyrodiil, they tell me nothing of why they wont our men but I'm sure its for some blow hard mission." The man who was speaking was a Dunmer, the headmaster of the Rikatiath, a brotherhood of mercenaries. "I have no intent on giving over our best for a mission I know not about. So I have given it some thought sense I received the messege last night and I have decided to send two of our lesser members."
"Sir, is it right for us to send any over our brothers or sisters to do this, I have a bad feeling about it." Said a beautiful young Woodelf, her hair bound with a gold and green twig tie, she was an arcane archer.
"Miliala Maky, you know you arn't a favorite either, so bullheaded, and you just so happen to be the lover of my firs choice." The headmaster smirked at the you woodelf.
Roven, you are sending Roven." Miliala paused and then blurted out, " I'm going with him, I will follow my love where ever he goes, even to Oblivion."

This was a heroic effort sir.

I am intrigued by your story so far, the theme is great - but you really need to edit this. I usually can't see needed edits at all, so if even I can see numerous errors, you need to edit, lol. Spell check should pick up most, capitalizing proper names, spelling TES names properly, set an extra space between paragraphs, and remove the double post at the top.

Don't get discouraged and quit, you have a very good start on an interesting story here! I agree with Shades, great start, all it needs is a little clean-up.

It's been a hot minute since I last criticised anything, but from what I see here you have what seems to be a potentially good story. While working through the story you need to remember detail, detail, detail. You've succeeding in giving us a few of the characters names, a faction, a general idea of what might be going on, but all while cramming it into literally one paragraph. Stretching out this paragraph would give you a better chance to add plenty of description.

Your spelling, grammar, and punctuation could use some honing but this is nothing to fret over. As mALX has said, this is nothing to be discouraged by. All good writing takes time. Unless you're Illusionary Nothing or just about every member of the Immortal Blood timeline. haha

But even those guys and gals had to work to achieve brilliant writing. But I'm not here to try and make you better your literature, because you have to want to improve to actually do just that. Good luck and keep in mind that any of us here will gladly assist you if you need help in anything. But to avoid being 'friggin' long' Ill let you go on this note:
The very fact that you were bold enough to simply jump into this fanfic community speaks highly of you decision-making abilities. Hopefully your stay(however long it may be) is an enjoyable yet informative one.

-DREN

Sorry for the nitpicking, but if this is 100 years after the fall of the empire, Vvardenfel and Saran no longer exist.