The Ehlnofex Wars: A Poem

Post » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:59 am

Have an Altmeri poem about the Dawn Era. I'm not sure this is good enough, but I can't be bothered to edit it more.

In the dawn of the world, the dawn of all days,
In the crystal castles, of Old Ehlnofey,
King of Kings Auri-El, the cunning Lorkhan,
Waging eternal war, between mer and man,

Ten thousand legions strong, the greatest fighters,
Wearing gilded ebon, the heroes of mer,
Facing the endless hordes, and Lorkhan's rage,
Led by Lord Trinimac, and Xarxes the sage,

Auri-El's great longbow, shot pure radiance,
Trinimac slew many foes, with his shining lance
Xarxes' ancient magic, arcane fires burned
But Lorkhan was not yet gone, and the tide had turned

Altmora was taken, the darkness had won,
Aldmeris was broken, Old Ehlnofey gone,
All hope was forgotten, despair reigned supreme,
The prospect of victory, was just but a dream,

Trinimac still fought on, wounds bloody and raw,
He vowed to never give up, even in defeat's jaw,

Lorkhan took his great lance, and tore it apart,
So using more than hands, he ripped out his heart

Auri-El with Xarxes, and his greatest knight,
Held court in their Tower, of silver and light,
Lorkhan's heart cast away, into the deep sea,
Auri-El took on wings, at last he was free,
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Kyra
 
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Post » Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:12 am

This isn't bad (although I couldn't see an Altmer writing it), but I'm curious: why do something if you don't care enough to do it excellently?
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GLOW...
 
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Post » Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:43 pm

This isn't bad (although I couldn't see an Altmer writing it), but I'm curious: why do something if you don't care enough to do it excellently?

The sunk cost fallacy.
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Rachel Tyson
 
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Post » Thu Nov 15, 2012 9:29 pm

I like it :) Got confused a few times about what person was the "he" you mentioned in the poem, but that probably has more to do with my English then with your writing.
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Janine Rose
 
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Post » Fri Nov 16, 2012 8:26 am

I thought it was very good. Well done.
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chinadoll
 
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