[Umpyre Records]

He lost me at were-croc...

[Penny Flame]

...Which turned out to be a Skooma Dealer.

[Nathan Hunter]

This chapter excerpt isn't actually from the Elder Scrolls novel, it's the adapted plot of every Scooby-Doo episode.

Velma: I think we have a mystery on our hands.
Shaggy: No way man! When it comes to checkin', we're chicken!
Velma: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?
Shaggy: Like there's times I'll do anything for a Scooby Snack!

Shaggy: This place makes me so nervious, all I can think of is food!
Velma: Maybe we can dig up some answers to this mystery!
Shaggy: It sure would help if we could find another clue!

Shaggy: Like wow! Look at all them foot prints!
Velma: Wait a minute, Were-crocodiles can't leave footprints!
Shaggy: And that's our cue to ski-doo!
Velma: No Shaggy, we're going to solve this mystery!

Velma: From up here in the ceiling, we can hear them talking!
Shaggy: Zoinks! It's a creepy Croc-man!
Velma: Jinkies!
Shaggy: This is, like, the opposite of what I wanted to do today.
Velma: The virgin always lives the longest in these stories. Man! My life svcks!

Velma: The Creepy Croc was really... Mr. Drug dealer!
Villian: And I would have gotten away with it too, if not for you meddling kids!

[jodie]

This chapter excerpt isn't actually from the Elder Scrolls novel, it's the adapted plot of every Scooby-Doo episode.

Velma: I think we have a mystery on our hands.
Shaggy: No way man! When it comes to checkin', we're chicken!
Velma: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?
Shaggy: Like there's times I'll do anything for a Scooby Snack!

Shaggy: This place makes me so nervious, all I can think of is food!
Velma: Maybe we can dig up some answers to this mystery!
Shaggy: It sure would help if we could find another clue!

Shaggy: Like wow! Look at all them foot prints!
Velma: Wait a minute, Were-crocodiles can't leave footprints!
Shaggy: And that's our cue to ski-doo!
Velma: No Shaggy, we're going to solve this mystery!

Velma: From up here in the ceiling, we can hear them talking!
Shaggy: Zoinks! It's a creepy Croc-man!
Velma: Jinkies!
Shaggy: This is, like, the opposite of what I wanted to do today.
Velma: The virgin always lives the longest in these stories. Man! My life svcks!

Velma: The Creepy Croc was really... Mr. Drug dealer!
Villian: And I would have gotten away with it too, if not for you meddling kids!

you win

[Gwen]

Again - here I am improvising on the spur of the moment..

"We could perhaps sit here, drink our wine in peace and thank our stars that we're not drinking swill in a dungeon under arrest. As nearly happened during our last endeavour, thank you not at all!"

"Oh come on Glim - risk is part of an Adventure!"

"For you perhaps, Miss Daredevil. As for me I find the prospect of my scaly hide rubbing against an even rougher stone wall quite revolting."

There: see? Add some wit, some snap to the back-and-forth between the two characters, for god's sake! Make us not only see their characters in our mind, but draw them bold and contrasting and interesting!

Well, it might sound better, but you're effectively changing the whole personality of the aragonian to some stuck-up altmer. That's my impression atleast. I don't see the problem of keeping his lines simple if it fits with character.

[Marion Geneste]

I know right?

Why does ThatOneGuy get kudos?!??! I SAID IT FIRST!

Eh whatever. No one appreciates me anymore. :shakehead:

As I said in another thread, Titus Mede is the alias of a Khajiit named M'aiq the Liar. Said he liked horses with creme sauce or something. Another Damn crazed Imperial if you ask me.

Well then here you go, special kudos to Nighthawk for his amazing points :thumbsup:

[James Rhead]

We should remember that Keyes isn't writing for the hard-core fans like us who have been around for years so much as he's trying to introduce the public to the Elder Scrolls series in a way that won't confuse them with a mass of arcane detail.

That's just it, and it bothers me. I find it hard to belive this is Keyes writing.
I read Blackgod before it's predecssor, and Keyes did a marvelous job of weaving in the past for the new reader. I like Keyes, and I am picky about my sci-fi.
The sentence structure, the grammar, the way the story flows does not impress me as Keyes.
Also, why is Keyes' official website down, and yet one with a hotmail link for the new book up?
I am calling [censored].

[Juliet]

That's just it, and it bothers me. I find it hard to belive this is Keyes writing.
I read Blackgod before it's predecssor, and Keyes did a marvelous job of weaving in the past for the new reader. I like Keyes, and I am picky about my sci-fi.
The sentence structure, the grammar, the way the story flows does not impress me as Keyes.
Also, why is Keyes' official website down, and yet one with a hotmail link for the new book up?
I am calling [censored].

the excerpt is on the site of the books publisher. 'nough said.

[Annick Charron]

He's going easier on the reader than you might think. In "The Kingdoms of Thorn and Bone" he introduces many words and factions with little explanation, until you pick up more information during the course of the series. For example, he begins "The Briar King" with a huge battle between human ex-slaves and the demonic race that had been their masters. The mage queen leading the human rebellion is an advlt Virginia Dare from the lost colony of Roanoke -- no explanation at first of how the colony was transported to this alien world. And this is only the start of the four-book series, which quickly flashes forward to a couple of thousand years later. The series works a lot better than this sounds.

Now, you see, that sort of leaving the explaining 'til later is what builds suspense, and draws you in. As Russell T Davies said, I'd rather be confused for an hour than bored for a minute.

[snip]

[Matthew Warren]

post removed

:lol:

A better plot would be the Eye of Argonia, an Illustrated Novel (with color!). Yes, I would buy that. Guest art from Marc Silvestri, Kenneth Rocafort, Jim Lee, and Eric Basaldua! :drool:

[Kerri Lee]

post removed

[snip]

People should never expect a lot from video game or movie novels. If the novel if entertaining, that is good for what it is. We cant expect a slab of heavy lore, nor would I really want one out side of the game; ES lore, drawn out into a full novel lacking of the game would probably seem drawn out and cheesy, instead of mysterious and "dark".

Perhaps Bethesda was trying to make a grab for money, perhaps not. Probably not. I've seen many high profile forum goers say a novel would be nice, so maybe Bethesda actually paid attention and bought a cheap TV/movie novelist. Where people expecting the next Tolkien?

[lydia nekongo]

All this bickering is distracting all of us from the true value of all of this...
were getting Elder Scrolls Content!!!!!

[Jarrett Willis]

post removed

[snip]

Just to add some actual content to this post. I really wasn't bothered much by his wiriting, except that it could get just a tad too descriptive at times - english is not my first language, and though I usually follow very well I actually had to make use of a dictionary at times. I thought he fleshed out Limoth ("the Festering Jewel of Black Marsh") pretty good, and certainly well enough for my taste, which left me wanting more.

[Life long Observer]

DUN DUN DUN
My god, you just might be right! I mean, members here are saying this isn't typical of keye's style, and it looks too poorly constructed to be publish-worthy.
Perhaps, this is an early draft that got leaked early? Has keyes himself said anything on this?

[Cheryl Rice]

I'm actually reminded of when I started Kingdoms of Thorn and Bone. When I first started, the style made me roll my eyes, particularly in the prologue. I don't know whether the style changed or simply grew on me.

That is an interesting point Foxy. I wonder if this is from the pre-proofread version floating around Ebay. I kind of hope it is.

But I got a bit to say.

Overall, I like it. Because in this sorta twisted way that at least makes sense to me, it's like Morrowind:

Morrowind has an amazing core story and background lore, but its gameplay jumps between bearably mediocre to terrible. It is one of my favorite games of all time, and would be a perfect 10 if it were only fun to play. This book has a wonky writing style so far, but characters that are (again, so far) fairly likeable and presented in a believable manner (you learn about them through their actions and not a boring "A does x, y and z" formula).

[snip]

[Jonathan Windmon]

I'm still betting that this is an early version/draft.
Otherwise, I agree with everything Lycan said.

[Georgia Fullalove]

removed

I think his website wouldn't have posted the excerpt if they didn't want us to judge it and decide about purchasing the book accordingly. I like to watch Scooby-Doo, but I don't think I want to read about his adventures in Tamriel.

[Pete Schmitzer]

I think his website wouldn't have posted the excerpt if they didn't want us to judge it and decide about purchasing the book accordingly. I like to watch Scooby-Doo, but I don't think I want to read about his adventures in Tamriel.

I have a flawless plan (for once), though. I'm gonna get it at the library. It's a much stronger statement of support or not. If someone reads a 1-chapter blurb, hates it, and dosen't buy it, nothing much is said. If someone reads a 1-chapter blurb, hates it, then buys it anyways, that's just stupid. If someone reads the whole book, hates it, and dosen't buy it (or likes it and does) then that means more. The only way to really show your opinion of something to a corporation is "do you buy their product?" It dosen't matter what you complain about, if you buy a product that you don't like, you're saying that they get money out of it and will continue. (This is not actually directed at Shades, but the general public).

Also we need to remember that Keyes always has several branching groups of characters (and I'm gonna go ahead and assume he'll stay true to form and develop the hell out of Glim and Annaig by the end) so the first chapter is not much indication of the characters in their entirety.

PS: If it is though, I'll be pissed even though I like Glim and Annaig. Character development is a big thing for me, wether or not I like them as they are.

[Jamie Moysey]

Did anyone post the similarities to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092067/yet?

Awesome film btw.

[Dina Boudreau]

Ever read The Hammers of Ulrich? Its a Warhammer book and bloody awsome, realy well written and the setting and mood is worded perfectly.

[Batricia Alele]

I have a flawless plan (for once), though. I'm gonna get it at the library. It's a much stronger statement of support or not. If someone reads a 1-chapter blurb, hates it, and dosen't buy it, nothing much is said. If someone reads a 1-chapter blurb, hates it, then buys it anyways, that's just stupid. If someone reads the whole book, hates it, and dosen't buy it (or likes it and does) then that means more. The only way to really show your opinion of something to a corporation is "do you buy their product?" It dosen't matter what you complain about, if you buy a product that you don't like, you're saying that they get money out of it and will continue. (This is not actually directed at Shades, but the general public).

QFT

Also we need to remember that Keyes always has several branching groups of characters (and I'm gonna go ahead and assume he'll stay true to form and develop the hell out of Glim and Annaig by the end) so the first chapter is not much indication of the characters in their entirety.

PS: If it is though, I'll be pissed even though I like Glim and Annaig. Character development is a big thing for me, wether or not I like them as they are.

So Keyes is very formulaic? I mean, that's what the whole thing sounds like: archetypes. It supposedly sells, but it's very bland and uninspired. "Sorry, your princess is in another castle." And even the "spunky, willful-but-immature" female lead character thing has been so done to death, it's almost as bad as the helpless constantly-getting-kidnapped type.

[A Boy called Marilyn]

Criticism is fine and encouraged, but as with the rest of the forums it needs to be kept constructive and civil. There are quite a few of you who've lost any semblance of 'civil' and I removed more than a few posts that really ought to result in warnings for flaming. Calling people idiots or berating someone because they have an opinion other than yours is in no way acceptable, and you've all been on the forums long enough to know this. Even if you weren't regulars I'd expect the supposed forum literati to possess the faculties to behave properly, and not squabble like a flock of seagulls.

Many posts have been removed or edited, some because they were problematic and some because they were responding to removed posts. The latter has unfortunately swept away some constructive and otherwise fine replies, including a particularly humorous run of puns. If your post has been removed or edited that doesn't mean it was bad ? although many of them were. Normally when a thread behaves this badly we lock it, but we can't really do that in this case since it's the central thread for discussing the novels.

That means we're going to be cracking down on any misbehavior ? I'm not issuing any warnings for the flames I've removed but I assure you there will be no leniency going forward.

D.Foxy, I'm not sure of the legality of re-writing the chapter and posting it here, but even if it was acceptable the ensuing discussion of this is what caused most of the problems here. If you want to do this for yourself that's fine but please do not post it on the forums and we will not be discussing it further in this thread.
If people have questions or comments about this please PM me rather than posting a response here, and let's now try and get this thread back on track. Again, it's fine if you're critical, but people need to respect the forum rules when expressing their opinions or commenting on the opinions of others.

[Rach B]

Martin's sacrifice?

Gah! No love for the CoC?! Martin would have been a stain in the ruined chapel of Akatosh but not for the intrepid champion.

[Cayal]

"Yes, but that was ending when the Oblivion crisis happened. Look, even you have to admit that if Mehrunes Dagon had won, if Martin hadn't beaten him?"

Gah! No love for the CoC?! Martin would have been a stain in the ruined chapel of Akatosh but not for the intrepid champion.

Hold up, this novel is happening 40yrs after TESIV. Given how nobody in the previous games seems to remember the events of the other games, this particular bit of history should be lost to the ken of the races of man. I mean, no one talks about Jagar Tharn in Morrowind and Oblivion, no one talks about the Warp in the West and Numidium. The every-day people are oblivious to events transpiring around them. In fact, none of the NPCs in Oblivion expressed much concern about the Oblivion Crisis, other than "Oooh, I've heard it isn't safe to walk out doors any more" or "Did you hear what happened to Kvatch?" No "OMG the emperor is dead!" or "I'm packing up, I'm moving to Skyrim, it's too cold for Dremora there" or "It's the end of the world! DoooOOOooom!" Of course, my character did absolutely nothing about the Emperor's Amulet for a full game year, and Cyrodiil got along just great anyways, Oblivion gates or no.

[Josh Trembly]

Hold up, this novel is happening 40yrs after TESIV. Given how nobody in the previous games seems to remember the events of the other games, this particular bit of history should be lost to the ken of the races of man. I mean, no one talks about Jagar Tharn in Morrowind and Oblivion, no one talks about the Warp in the West and Numidium. The every-day people are oblivious to events transpiring around them. In fact, none of the NPCs in Oblivion expressed much concern about the Oblivion Crisis, other than "Oooh, I've heard it isn't safe to walk out doors any more" or "Did you hear what happened to Kvatch?" No "OMG the emperor is dead!" or "I'm packing up, I'm moving to Skyrim, it's too cold for Dremora there" or "It's the end of the world! DoooOOOooom!" Of course, my character did absolutely nothing about the Emperor's Amulet for a full game year, and Cyrodiil got along just great anyways, Oblivion gates or no.

40 years isn't that long, especially given the longevity of species in TES; people do talk about Jagar Tharn (Jauffre drops a ref) and the Nerevarine (who has left for Akavir, prayers unanswered). Talking about the WitW probably makes peoples heads hurt. I hope that rallying the cities of Cyrodiil and being the hero of a great battle will be enough to get the CoC at least referenced in the book.

Even discounting that Keyes also has the CoC = Sheogorath aspect to work with. Becoming a god won't get you forgotten in a hurry; look at Tiber Septim.