» Mon May 07, 2012 4:19 pm
(I guess it depends on if we're using gameplay knowledge, or lore knowledge to define them. Perhaps we can get our contenders to complete a quick survey....)
Q: Hello Dagoth Ur, thanks for joining us today.
Dagoth Ur: Yeah fine, I need to get back to the heart so make it quick-
Q: Sure. Uh, what major acts of destruction and/or conquest have your minions achieved in the game(s)?
Dagoth Ur: Mostly we just hang out by the heart, uhm... they pinched Keening and Sunder off those Tribunal nerds a while back... I've really gotta go-
Q: Thank you Mr. Ur.
Q: Hello Mehrunes Dagon, thanks for joining us today.
Dagon: Yo.
Q: What major acts of destruction and/or conquest have your minions achieved in the game(s)?
Dagon: Ha ha! You want me to list 'em ALL!?
Q: ... Yeah.
Dagon: Oh. Right. In the game. Ummm...
Q: Take your time Mr. Mehrunes.
Dagon: My boys [censored] up that Battlespire place that one time. You ever hear of a city called Kvatch?
Q: No, sorry.
Dagon: And my boys is why! Ha ha! Awesome!
Q: Uh, right. Thank you for your time.
Q: Hello Alduin, Devourer of Worlds, thanks for joining us today.
Alduin: Hi everyone!
Q: What major acts of destruction and/or conquest have your minions achieved in the game(s)?
Alduin: Oh! Well I did damage some houses in a small Imperial-occupied town in Skyrim one time!
Q: Your minions, was the question...
Alduin: Oh! Sorry! Ummm...
Q: Take your time, Mr. Alduin.
Alduin: Hehe, did you know my father is-
Q: Stay on topic please.
Alduin: Right. Sorry! Umm, well my priests tend to just stay in their tombs. They tried to beat up the Dragonborn when he broke in though!
Q: ... Anything else?
Alduin: My dragon friends attacked some towns in Skyrim!
Q: And what in particular was destroyed and/or conquered?
Alduin: Umm... well... did I mention my father? He's the-
Q: Look at that, we're out of time for our interview. Join us next time for exciting interviews with the lore versions of our three charming guests.
________
Q: And we're back with our three guests, now in their lore incarnations. Please welcome Dagoth Ur, Mehrunes Dagon, and Alduin, Devourer of Worlds back to the sh-
Dagoth Ur: Oh sh-
Dagon: You actually brought Aldui-
Alduin: Ho ha ho. Low spirits are crunchy with ketchup~
Dagon: [censored] [censored] [censored]!
Q: Thank you for um, joining us... what... major acts of destru-
Alduin: Om.
Q: ...ction have y-
Alduin: Nom.
Q: ...
Alduin: Nom.