There's a lot of dialogue, a little too much. I think it needs some more description.

Chronicle eight: Commiting to dirty deeds


Tao looked at the room around him, while jumping up from his bed.


" Alas, another day to work"


Tao headed over to his cashier and stood on the stool next to it. He pulled out a cigarette from the pockets under his armor and lit one. He forgot that there was airborne FEV beyond this area, so he quickly quashed the cigarette and threw it away.

" This svcks"

He continued waiting for someone when he saw a roving band of travelers in a large cargo truck. They pulled over into the parking lot and climbed out. One of them, the tallest, walked into the shop and over to Tao.

" You own this store?"

" Yes, I am the owner"

The man smiled

" Three brahmin steaks, roasted"

Gui Tao smiled beneath his helmet

" Of course"

He walked over to one of the shelves and took a box of dogfood. He walked back over to the counter.

" I have brahmin nuggets. I'm sure you'll enjoy them"

The man frowned

" Alright, I'll take it"

Seven dollars of pre-war money were handed over as the man left the store, back onto the truck. They pulled out and drove through the highway.

" Too easy"


Gui Tao then sorted the money into the cashier and started polishing his AK-110 when another band of people came driving into the parking lot. Several Brotherhood soldiers stood outside as one of them walked into the store.

" You own this store?"

" Yes"

" We need some fusion cells for our conductor. You wouldn't happen to have any?"

Gui Tao then walked away from the counter and went into the storage room. He lugged out a large box and set it on the counter.

" These are enough to power a tank. Six hundred, up front"

" I don't think so. 350, my offer"

" I own this store. You want to get out, you have to pay up"

" 450, that's as high as I am going"

Gui Tao grinned

" 500, or nothing"

The Brotherhood knight looked at Tao then drew a steady and angry expression.

" Fine"

He forked over a large pile of bills stacked on each other and lugged the box outside.

" Have a nice day, customer"

Gui Tao then opened his safe and piled the money into the small space. He closed it quickly and turned over. The Brotherhood soldiers were installing their fusion cells, taking all the time in the world. Gui Tao watched when they finally succeeded and drove off.

Tao brushed himself off and then sat back down.


" Today is going to be a long day"

Great Work ! keep it up !