ooc: Heya, peoples. ArgonianMageZelric and myself've been talking over MSN and he decided that, due to recent events on his end of things, he wants me to retire Odeen for him for a while. Upon further discussion, we decided on a good way and reason for him to be left behind at Cloud Ruler, something that I was considering doing anyway that seemed to be the best, most logical option. Zel said he hopes to return someday, but until then Odeen's gonna probably stay at the Temple. As for what I'm about to do here, I think Karst really needed this. I couldn't honestly think of another way to get her out of her skittish, half-crazy mode she's in now.
So, with that, I have several things to wrap up here now in one way or another. Sorry for the length, lots needed to be done.
"When it's convenient for me? If I don't mind?" Karst asked incredulously as Odeen spoke. When he hugged her the last time, though, she smiled a bit as his eyes met hers. She could see the fear and worry in those purple eyes and she realized this was, sadly, just normal Odeen behavior. It's just Odeen bein' Odeen.
"Of course. I'm not gonna run off an' leave you in a ditch or anything. I.." she reassured him, but then paused, unsure for a moment what to say. Karst reached around back over Odeen's shoulder and itched her nose before thinking of what to say next. "I don't.. really know what you've been through, but.. I assure you I'm never gonna leave you hanging out to dry. Besides.." she giggled softly into his shoulder, "I think I need you as much as you need me." Moving back a tad, Karst's ears went forward again, her hair rustling a little as the furry parts moved in them, and the little Khajiit met his eyes with a serious-yet-worried gaze.
"Odeen.. I just.." How the heck do I word this so it doesn't come out wrong? Maybe I should ask later. But.. this might be the only moment alone I get with him in a long [censored]in' time, though. Karst's eyes flicked down for a fraction of a second, contemplating finishing her sentence, before emerald locked with purple again. "You know.. just before we went into that last Gate.. when you told me you had feelings for me?" Her words were uncertain, conveying the fact that she really had no idea how to go about what she was asking. "What.. How do you feel about me now? Like.. as we sit here kind of now. Don't ask why, I just.. I need to know."
ic: Odeen looked at Karst in mild fear. He wasn't sure what to say to that, especially since he wasn't quite sure of the answer himself. "I.. I don't know, but.. whatever it is.. it's.. really strong."
Karst sighed, a little disappointed at not getting a concise answer. "I see.. Well.."
"I'm sorry.. I don't know exactly myself." Odeen said, sad he'd not been able to give her the information she wanted. Karst just shrugged in the embrace.
"It's fine. I just wanted to know. With both you an' Veyar wanting me, I'm.. a little conflicted."
Odeen recoiled a little. "Wa-want you? I.. no, nothing like that! I mean.. you're lovely and.. but.. I'd never.."
Karst cut him off by putting a finger to his mouth. "I didn't mean like
that. I just meant want to be with me."
"Oh.. But I.. I never
said.."
"But you
do, don't you?" Karst asked, then smiled when he adopted a nervous look and nodded. "It's okay, Odeen. It's nothing to be ashamed of." She let go of him and sat cross-legged on the bed, then looked off at some nondescript point on the floor across the room. "All I'm sayin' is that.. I don't know what I want. All I know is I'm scared and tired.. I've never had a whole group of people that cared about me, and I feel I need to stay and help you guys out, but.. at the same time.." She sighed and closed her eyes. After a couple seconds, Odeen looked down, worried.
"What.. what is it?" He asked. She didn't move, but she spoke.
"There's a lot that I've not told any of you. About my past, about my family.. about
me. Some of that stuff.. could hurt you. There are things I can do that I can't control.
Dangerous things. And if I keep up like this.. I fear something very bad might happen. I.." Karst looked up at her reptilian companion, then leaned her head over on his robed shoulder. "I need a break. I need to just sit and.. and.. just think and rest. I haven't told anyone yet but.. I'm thinking of leaving the group."
Odeen's purple eyes widened. "But.. but they
need you! I..
I need you! You can't just.." He exclaimed rapidly, then sighed and looked at his feet. "You said you weren't going to leave me alone."
Karst's posture drooped at seeing his reaction. "They can live without me. And.. I'll always be where you can find me if you need me. In fact.." Odeen watched in confusion as she stuck her hands down her cuirass for a few seconds. A moment later, she grabbed his hand and put something in it, then closed his fingers around it. It was hard and still warm from being on her. Opening his hand, he gazed at the small, ancient piece of jewelry, a weathered looking emerald entrapped in an intricate little silver sculpture and attached to an equally worn looking silver chain. He looked at it dumbly a for a few seconds, rubbing it with his thumb.
"Isn't this.. but don't you want to keep this?" He asked finally. Karst shook her head a little.
"My mom gave it to me just before she died and I've kept it with me ever since. It's all I have left of her, but.. I want you to take it with you. So you can have something to remind you of me."
The Argonian stared at the necklace in his hand for another few seconds, then took Karst's hand and put it in it. "No. If you go, I go. You.. you're all I have. I told you I'd always stay with you, and I'm going to." He said resolutely. Karst gripped her necklace and sighed.
"Odeen.. They can use you more than I can. I'm not leaving the group forever, either. Just.. taking a break. I'll probably just stay here at the Temple if it's okay with Blades."
"I'm still staying with you." He reiterated, finding courage he'd never known he had, at least for now. "You need support, and.. I'm not going to just leave you here all alone. I'll get to work on making some useful potions for them tonight. I think I can send my pack full of potions with them and that'd help, right?"
"I.. I guess. You're sure you wanna stay here with me, though? I mean.. it'll probably be pretty boring." Karst relented.
"I'm sure. Really. I don't think it'll be too bad. I mean.. we.. we'll have each other, right?"
Karst nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we will. I.. guess we should go tell the others now, huh?" She said, feeling a little better knowing Odeen would be with her, even if she thought he'd be better off with the group. She put her arms about Odeen's middle and hugged him. "Hopefully I don't need that long. You should go get to making those potions if you're really gonna stay here."
Odeen hugged her back loosely, still not entirely used to the whole business of hugging people, and nodded. "Okay. And I think.. I think that you should get some sleep; you look tired. I think I'll go set up over here.." Getting up, he grabbed his pack and started setting up his alchemy gear on a nearby desk. Karst sat on the bed and started taking off her armor, climbing into bed once she had all of it off. She just hoped the others would understand.
_______Iris looked at the dangling dagger held up to her. It was intricate, with lime yellow-green metals comprising the handle and pommel she'd never seen before. It also sported feather designs, birdlike qualities in the forging of the decor. It was a curved dagger as well, the handle seeming meant to fit into a hand at a slant. Smiling, Iris reached up and snatched the dagger from in front of her face, holding it to her chest. Her other hand moved to her thigh and undid the knot holding Zant's dagger there, before handing it back to him.
"Thanks. I might need a good dagger right now." It's sweet of him to do this, it is beautiful, but that skeleton... I'll have to talk to him later. But will there be- Of course there will be! I can handle myself. "You run along and have fun. We'll talk when I'm done with my work." As much as she wanted to kiss him for his gift, she also wanted to make it clear she had a problem. So she kept her tone more even and turned to face the three companion men with a small wave to Zant.
"Oh, right, you're a forester. Nearly forgot that." Iris remarked to Paulus, then smiled. "You should do fine. And Do'Rhadi, we need to mostly keep under cover. But there could be fighting at one point. You three should be enough though. Come with me." Iris motioned for them to follow with the hand not holding the elven dagger, and led them away towards a room down the hall. The room she'd once been briefed in with Jauffre and Martin.
Iris took the gift and held it to her chest, smiling, then gave Zant back his dagger. The Khajiit smiled at this himself, sheathing the blade at his chest where it belonged.
"Thanks. I might need a good dagger right now." Iris said, then paused for an almost intangible moment. The average man might have missed it entirely, but Zant could tell that little hitch was bad. "You run along and have fun. We'll talk when I'm done with my work."
'We'll talk later.' However it's worded, if it comes from a woman's mouth it's never good. Zant thought, ears and tail stirring slightly in uneasiness.
Eff..Before he could ask, though, she was talking to the others, and then she was gone. Zant sighed as they all left and slumped his shoulders, head down and ears flat. Without saying another thing, the warrior cat left and went straight outside into the cold. Walking into the horse corral, he sat down on a hay bale and closed his eyes, thinking.
There was so much noise in his mind recently; doubts, worries, fears.. inadequacies. What if he failed to protect one of them? If Iris or Karst ended up another tombstone, he wasn't sure he could live with the guilt. If Odeen were to be killed, what would become of Karst? She was so fragile lately anyway, and that might be a loss she'd never recover from. The same with Vivian to Iris. And then there was Miranie, a little scholar who had no place on a battlefield but to be a target for a Dremora archer. Could he tell her sister she'd died because he wasn't good enough?
Zant shook his head. "Hell." He muttered to himself, then looked up at one of the horses, "Just gets better every day, huh, horsey?"
_______"They didn't let me leave." Vivian replied, sitting across from Ahdanjha calmly, one leg crossed over his knee. His hands rested on his horizontal leg, and he looked unaffected by her news. But inside, he was contemplating every word. Deciding on just how much to say. Just what to say.
He knew there was a current trend for Purification within the Brotherhood throughout, partly because of an incident the recent Listener had been a part of less than a year ago. It would seem to some the Listener was still paranoid from his endeavors. "I am not free from the Brotherhood at all. I am still a member." His words were careful, calculating, and he did not look at her as he spoke, he looked at his boot propped on his knee. "I recently broke a tenet, by ignoring orders and staying with this group. I was attacked by Sithis' Wrath, but survived. I have not returned to the Sanctuary since that incident, so I assume I am a member again. A mute, inactive member. Or maybe they recognized, finally, the importance of what I am trying to do here, the importance it holds for the Brotherhood, and have chosen to allow me to remain in the group."
"I will say this, though. Va'Rhakshi has a bad reputation for a reason. And if not for those tenets of the Dread Father, Va'Rhakshi would only become worse. I do not condone his actions, never have, and as a result I will not assist you two in escaping the Brotherhood. The tenets are all that keeps him in check." Vivian looked up to Ahdanjhi as he stated this, his red eyes stern behind his message.
Ahdanjha listened intently to everything Vivian said. She had thought him to have exploited some kind of loophole, she'd thought he'd broken free. At being informed that he was as trapped as she was, she drooped visibly, posture slumping and head going down. Even her pointy elf ears seems to sag a little.
So, nobody can truly escape the Dread Father.. Dammit, Khajiit was hoping Marcy would be the key to her freedom.When Vivian spoke of her mate, Ahdanjha stiffened and glared a bit. "Va'Rahkshi is not the criminal they make him out to be. He is cruel, yes, but are not all Brothers and Sisters in their own ways? He has other, less known qualities, Marcy; he is loving and caring to his mate. He would
die for Ahdanjha." she barked, her accent coming out even more than in normal speech, each syllable snapped off at the end. She lowered her voice to a hissing whisper. "Khajiit was sent to terminate Marcy -and Karstine if she did not cooperate- but she will
not have the blood of another family member on her hands,
especially not that of another Zeterra. Do not presume to judge those you do not know, ash-kin. Khajiit heard them demonize you, but she did not listen to their lies. She would appreciate the same courtesy." Crossing her arms over her bosom, the little cat glared at Vivian a moment before a Blade came in and looked at her. She gazed up questioningly.
"Are.. are you Ahdanjha?" the Nord asked. She raised an eyebrow and nodded.
"This one is Ahdanjha, yes. What does the pink-skin wish of her?"
"You have a letter. Some.. weird guy in a black robe gave it to me and said to give it to a black Khajiit named Ahdanjha. I didn't even know you were here; another Blade said you'd gone by him on your way in with Vivian, though, so.. Are you new?"
"One could assume that, yes." she said, unfolding her arms and extending one gauntlet towards the man. He looked at the black claws sticking though the leather, watching as if they'd be used to gore out his eyes if he looked away. Handing her the letter, the Nord watched as she broke the black wax seal on the piece of rolled parchment, then left. Unfurling the letter, she read it to herself.
Dear Sister,
As you may know, with the recent murders that have occurred within the Brotherhood, we have all been asked to submit to questioning to determine where each Brother and Sister's loyalties lie. While nobody can deny the raw skill you and your mate exhibit, it has been called into question on more than one instance whether you serve Sithis or merely your own whims. Va'Rahkshi has agreed to be questioned and we ask you to do the same. Please make haste to home for interrogation. Your lives may depend upon it.
~ J'GhastaAhdanjha dropped it on the table between herself and Vivian and swore, the action sounding almost cute due to her feathery voice. The angry growl in the words following all but killed the cuteness, however.
"This is not good. Not good at all.." Ahdanjha stood and looked down at Vivian with a glare. "If Marcy will not help, then fine. Ahdanjha hoped you would understand love better now that you'd found it, but.." The Khajiit shrugged. "Maybe they were right about you, and you are as selfish as you claim Ahdanjha and Va'Rahkshi to be."
With one final glare of anger and hurt, she strode past to leave.