@Wolf- I MIGHT, but that's a very big might. :laugh:

@Vault- Thanks for the opinion, and the random Legion assassin, though I didnt mention it because I wanted to keep it from messing up whatever the fate of the Legion is in the series (I tried to keep the story believable within the realms of the games established world.) But I was imaging that Caesars Legion had fallen apart, imagine for example the WWII Nazis and Japanese soldiers, even after all that time, there would be a loyalist who never knew it ended or were fiercely loyal to the memory of the empire they served under, the assassin is the latter. Though he is the 'almighty Courier' I really felt that if I mixed in gameplay with realism, it'd be dumb to had 'guy shot Courier, Courier laughs and blows guys head off with gauss rifle from nowhere'. I credit The Couriers surviving between Goodsprings to Karma and luck, because I think Fan Fics apply to the 'exciting heros are boring to read' rule that RPGs have. I'm glad alot of people liked his day to day life, I tried hard to point out that the Courier knew he was living above most Wastelanders and was accepting and grateful the most danger he often faced were a few papercuts. I had THOUGHT of writing a bonus 'alternate' chapter where he settled down in Goodsprings, but I felt it wouldnt wrap it up with the feeling of realism, and I felt the 'everyone skips down the road to happy and comfortable life' far more predictable.

One of my hardest parts though was trying to find a way to establish House as the true boss, but keep House from being around in the story. Alot of the reason for this was that I really didnt want to write out a character like House, as I felt it could ruin his image as he is in the game. I feel the same applies for characters like Caesar, Doc Mitch and the companions, so I tried to give a few characters mention to show what happened to them and where they stand at that point. All in all, I think it's very good, not excellent, but I think it came out pretty nice given some of the worries and things I tried to take care of.

But I'm glad you enjoyed it Vault, and everyone else who reads and or comments this, any time people thank me, it gave me the motivation to keep thinking of new chapters to write. So I want to thank you guys (and girls) for reading, commenting, critiquing, and enjoying my story.

Did Sarah ever bear child? Just a thought, you do not have to answer. Just thought it might stir your thoughts.

Nah, honestly, it wasn't meant to delve to deep, they never had a child, they were pretty much married without the marriage. And when the story ends, he was in his 50s, so he was getting a little up there in age xD

I know someone who was 56 who had a kid.

A newborn, not adopted.
:unsure2:

But your new post got my hopes of you posting something about another fan-fic, but I can only draem...

I might try going back to attempt an F3 fanfic, but, as much as I liked Fallout 3, New Vegas gave me so much inspiration, Fallout 3, I have the idea, but to be honest, I just feel no real motivation to write a Fallout 3 fan fic. Now, if I get the OOMPH, I might write a New Vegas fan fic that revolves around an NCR sided quest, because I REALLY want to write an ending involving the Courier kneeing General Oliver in the groin with a combat armor padded knee. I hate that guy. :spotted owl:

Bravo. Da capo.

I like the style of writing and since many of your sentiments and musings resemble mine and my first playthrough It was a captivating read. I am not easy to captivate. I get bored very fast if I feel there are inconcistencies or if I fell the caracters have been overplayed. But you chose your style well and stuck with it very nicely. Well done.

May I ask how many years of roleplaying experience you have and from what sources? Or perhaps you even have some training in the field of writing outside writing for yourself (and us)?

I only have one point of critique. Whilst the ending is good and its got the proper "blammo" moment it feels a bit "trimmed." Perhaps even rushed. The introduction of new caracters that ment something to your protagonist could have used a bit more elaboration. Case in point: Sarah; how did you "meet", what caught your eye that didn't catch it the first time you saw her. Was it a working relationship that evolved? (She could have been the seamstress converting Boomer uniforms to "New Vegas Airlines" pilot uniforms for instance. working dinner at the lucky 38 turned to civil interest and civil interest turned to love?). What happened. Why did you stick with dating? Why not a marriage with all of the vegas trimmings? Children? If not why? and did that put a strain on the relationship?

Aslo the boomers used Biofuel for their plane (visit the barracks again and look them over. There is an intermistic biofuel-plant in one of them). Why use batteries? If its an oversigt its easily a forgiveable one.

I hope you do not take my critique too personal because I sincerely do mean well. You are gifted and if your style of writing is any reflection on your spoken language, I am quite certain that you are one of a rare breed of people who can bind people with your words.

Keep it up. I enjoyed the read very much and I would love to see more.

Thanks :laugh:

Well, the last chapter was a bit oversighted since I was very concerned with pulling off the ending with it. Well, Sarah isnt a new character, it's the same one from Vault 21, and I felt she never really elevated beyond hotel owner. Alot of the reason for the love but distance, though it's through my own fault to give deep explenation into it, Beyond Mr. House, whom he's come to see as a mentor/father figure, but there was still this emotional distance set by House, plus do to the Courier basically encountering alot of sick things in the Mojave, combined with the 'Vegas and it's glamour,will always swallow your soul', so alot of things have set him in a personal limbo between the altruist and rebuilder he is, mixed with the emotional desensitazion he experienced in Wastes. I admit that I made the error of assuming everyone could immediately grasp meanings in the story, because everyone interprets things in their own way.

As for the Boomers, I had noted the fuel plant in the rear of the Nellis Homeland, but I felt jury rigging Fission Batteries as a fuel source would add to the fact that fuel was virtually nonexistent just before the war, so it was basically implemented as a 'Post-War' feel.

As to my writing and Roleplaying, ehhh, I've had light experience RPing. New Manhattan is the first RP I've been very active in. I was introduced to Fallout via 3, and as I came to read the wiki, play the older games and read deep into the lore, I really came to fall in love with the series, and New Vegas held alot of my awe, it had alot of beginning stepping stones, and enough writing gaps that I could fill with my own lore respecting writing, this is not only my first written fan fiction, but it's also my first public one, so I really tried to convey that though this is a fan fiction, you wouldn't see 'The Courier put his iPod in his ears and blasted his rap music as he set his Internet GPS to Vegas in his shining red mercedes.' For me, lore breaking things like that just distance me from the story, and I'm sure some of the people who've read this would have been too had I done that.

But I appreciate everything you've said, I'm glad that most of the critique in this thread has been critique and not 'LOLOLOLOL DIS TERBLE'

How about a Fan-fic about how you assassinated Oliver after freeing New Vegas from the bastard..? lolololo

Oliver couldnt find his ass if he was sitting on the toilet. He's not worth my time. :spotted owl:

You can always have Yes Man do it for you... I do love watching him fly.

I don't trust yes-man. His end game dialogue un-nerves me :sadvaultboy:

I reloaded a save to do this for [censored] and giggles.

I [censored] out alot of giggles, I can tell you that.

Oh Noez! I think I cried at the end. I wish the story was longer though, but quality is best when its short.

Also, I have a story I written up for my 11th Grade Writing Class thats based off this (Got a B+) and was interested if you wanted to read it.

Sure as long as I dont have to download anything. I'm feeling lazy at the moment :laugh:

I shall help your laziness by just posting a link for ya: http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?/topic/1155397-red-dawn/

Must remind everyone here that his is superior! Dont judge me :*(

I haven't read this yet, but in respect to an earlier post


LOLOLOLOLOL DS TERBLE

*Hands Smiley a Tissue* :unsure:

eh?

:slap: Bad.

Ok, now am confused. Lets just read martyr's story again and cry "again" at the ending

-Ron Pearlmans voice- And so it was that the Colonel drank himself into an early grave, all because of Smile's harsh words, his life an empty meaningless voice after being harshly criticized- :laugh:

Haha...hopefully that :laugh: indicated that you got that I was just posting what you said were glad noone posted...

I assume it did...but I don't want anyone to think I've been harsh...because I love reading people's writing...and what I did read of this was very good...so I'm going to over explain the situation to make sure noone takes it the wrong way...this is probably enough over explanation though...now I've over over explained...it's no longer funny or charming...I should stop now...

Nah, Im able to swallow criticism, I like that I've been given such good feedback, means Im doing something right xD

Wow, what would you be thinking if someone whispered Ave, true to Caesar in your ear? Man, I would love to be inside Justins head at that point in time.

I would be "holy [censored] and mother of god almighty, I'm about to die, [censored] [censored] s-"