the giant spider returns again : The Elder Scrolls Series Discussion

» Fri May 04, 2012 12:53 am

Using you uncanny roguish skills, you escape from the rope, and clean the pie off your body. You can't find your clothes in the basemant, but you do find...

» Thu May 03, 2012 9:15 pm

a dead rat. You take the rodent and dig out its intestines, stick your feet into it and begin looking for an exit in your new rat underpants. You notice a crack of daylight coming through the door that leads out of this dark room, but the door is locked. You decide to force your way out by...

» Fri May 04, 2012 1:45 am

...eating pie...

» Thu May 03, 2012 3:56 pm

... and lunging yourself at the door! You hit your head again, losing consciousness. Next thing you know you're all tied up, in a basemant, with pie all over you and some cool ass underpants you don't remember buying.

» Thu May 03, 2012 2:01 pm

...You close your eyes and anolyse your situation. You got yourself knocked out, and you're probably never getting out of this piss-hole. Then you remember great aunty Val's words of wisdom: "In times of great need, eat pie until you grow fat and die." What a wonderful woman. God bless her heart. Then it hits you. You can't eat pie. Not tied up like this. At least you have these mildy attractive underpants. Makes you look dashing and handsome. Lol jokes, you're a pessimist. You're screwed through and through. At that thought, great aunt Val appears, shining in all her glory, who then...

» Fri May 04, 2012 12:27 am

tells you that you're only dreaming and that it's time to go to school. You tell her that you're trapped in your own dream! That you can't wake up! She extends both arms in front of you and opens her hands. There's a blue pill on one hand and a red pill on the other.

» Thu May 03, 2012 8:08 pm

You really like jelly beans so you take them both and swallow them. The world seems to spin around you for a moment before it settles down and you realise that you are on the docks of Anvil. A neon green Orc approaches you and says...

» Fri May 04, 2012 1:49 am

"Oh, let me guess. You also took both pills. Every minute there's one more, falling from the sky." Confused, you look at your hands and they're also neon green! The Orc takes a better look at you and asks: "Is that a... rat?"

» Thu May 03, 2012 10:51 pm

On cue, the Orc shape shifts into a were-rat and chases you into a lighthouse, where you see...

» Thu May 03, 2012 10:53 pm

Not Provided, sitting in a large leather chair, wearing a monocle, top hat and stroking an invisible cat. Then...

» Fri May 04, 2012 3:17 am

...He suddenly rises up and yells "IMMA sixY AND I KNOW IT!" and runs off, beckoning for you to follow him into the depths of the lighthouse basemant, where...

» Thu May 03, 2012 1:54 pm

... they are cut off by the were-rat! While you scream like a little girl, Not Provided walks up to the beast and inflicts a fatal wound on it with a slice of pie. "Can you teach me the way of the pie?" you ask him. He laughs and then says: "I can tell by your underpants that the pie flows inside you too, kid. You just have to listen." Then he...

» Thu May 03, 2012 8:21 pm

heres some thing coming from out side, he looks out a window when all the sudden the giant spider returns but this time it....

( can't forget the title has to do with the giant spider lol gotta have him come back every now and then )

» Thu May 03, 2012 5:30 pm

Is wearing armor made out of pie. As it falls it it spreads the pie to glide towards you and then it....

» Thu May 03, 2012 8:01 pm

... laughs at you, saying "Fool! You are too late, for I have already mastered the Way of the Pie." With that, the giant spider launches deathly Pie Beams at your beautiful underwear, but before they can strike you asunder...

» Thu May 03, 2012 5:35 pm

...the hell does asunder mean?...

» Thu May 03, 2012 1:27 pm

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/asunder

It ain't archaic yet!

» Thu May 03, 2012 11:37 am

...Gandalf bursts from the next room, clad in only a loincloth, and throws his surprisingly toned body in front of you, preventing your underwear from the pie beam's delicious wrath. You stumbled backwards, stunned as...

» Thu May 03, 2012 11:20 pm

...The Wizened Wizard shouts, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" as the ground crumbles and the spider falls into the depths of Oblivion...

(ooc I hope to God that somebody completes this correctly)

» Thu May 03, 2012 8:13 pm

...And then Not Provided and Gandalf start rapping about how much the giant spider svcks...

(What was that about completing it correctly? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW G I AM... Okay yeah maybe not...)

» Fri May 04, 2012 2:52 am

( is this what you were looking for lol)

as the spider started to fall the wizard starts to walk your way when the spider shoots a spidder web made of pie actually at his legs. the web wraps around his ankle and and starts to pull him down with him you then go to help him but....

» Fri May 04, 2012 12:30 am

...But the rapping! Guys! The rapping!...

» Thu May 03, 2012 8:02 pm

...but a massive crowd of rap fans turning up to see Gandalf's most threatening rap opponent since Dumbledore challenge him block the wizard from your view, leaving you pushing helplessly against the dense crowd. Realising that your efforts are useless, you turn around and see...

» Thu May 03, 2012 11:31 pm

...Carrot Sandwich, who, joins in with the rap-battle. Only she isn't rapping. Oh no-no-no, instead, she starts singing, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJkrA6DtDgQ" Of course everyone joins in to this spontaneous action. Oh look, it's become a musical. You decide to...

» Thu May 03, 2012 8:06 pm

... take your leave of this highly confusing scenario. While no one is watching, you exit stage left and move back up to the ground floor of the lighthouse only to be approached by the Adoring Fan, who says...