The Illuminated Order

Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 11:40 pm

Hello all. I have been a big fan of Morrowind for awhile now, and I love the mods that the community makes. One of them in particular caught my eye, called The Illuminated Order, which...well, heres a link for more information: http://planetelderscrolls.gamespy.com/View.php?view=mods.detail&id=732

Now, what I've done here is basically created a story based off of this mod, with my own twists based around the main character himself. Please take note: even though I already stated that I based this off of another mod, some people are dumb and wont read that. So let me say it now: I do not own nor did I create the mod upon which my story is based. I did, however, take the dialogue that the mod added so as to remain true to the source material. I wrote this out of love for Morrowind and for this mod. All comments and feedback are appreciated, especially constructive criticism. Now, enough rambling, on to the story (which will be in the next post I make).

EDIT: In the prologue, I have made Balmora to be a bigger place for purposes of my story.
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D IV
 
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Joined: Fri Nov 24, 2006 1:32 am

Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:30 am

The Illuminated Order

Prologue - A Whisper In A Cave

In a bar, it is not unusual for the patrons to be talking loud, starting fights, or dancing outrageously. Balmora was known for being a big commercial and residential city and relatively free of crime. Five clubs sit at various places throughout the city: the Fighter's Club to the west of the Temple, Eight Plates near the northern gate, the Lucky Lockup and Council Club near the south gate, and the South Wall Cornerclub on the southeast side of town.

Out of the five, the Fighter's Club and Eight Plates were the most notorious for different reasons. The Fighter's Club brought entertainment to Balmora's citizens in the form of hand-to-hand bouts in a walled-off ring and was known for its illegal gambling on the matches. Eight Plates was an entirely different matter: late at night the town dancers performed titillating shows that were definitely illegal because they got totally naked and sometimes, full-on six would occur before every set of drunken eyes.

Such a thing was occurring before Senzani Na's eyes as he sat in a lone corner of Eight Plates, although he wasn't drunk. Some Dunmer male was having six with an Imperial who was on her knees, but he could've cared less (mainly because he couldn't see it through the sea of bodies that observing the act, cheering all the while) Even so, he hadn't even known why he'd come here. Senzani was of a much higher capacity; this he knew to be the truth.

Damned barbarians! he thought, looking at his dark green skin and wishing it wasn't there. I come in here for a drink, and a quiet setting, but damn it Senzani you n'wah! You should've known this would happen!


"You all are below me," he muttered, though Senzani wasn't even aware that he was doing so. "You all don't know what I'm capable of. You're all equivalent to Guar feces."

Still unaware that his voice was increasing in volume, the Dark Elf also didn't notice a few patrons look back in his direction, then back at the sixual acts at the front of the bar.

"Everyone here doesn't understand the wisdom of the old days," he said at a normal volume. "You don't see me! You can't even comprehend this sight before you!"

As his voice continued raising to a yell, nearly half the patrons in the bar were looking in his direction as he continued screaming incoherently. It all ended when he proclaimed, "I. Am. A. Lich!!"

For some time, silence filled the room. Then all at once, everybody (even the dancers and their partners) started laughing at him.

"You stupid elf, you're no lich! You got skin like everyone else!"

"Quit drinking that ale, fetcher!"

"You're pathetic!"

As Senzani sat in his chair, looking down at the table, and tapping his fingers, the insults and taunts were fueling his rage. Finally, he snapped and through his bottle of ale at a random patron.

"[censored] YOU! [censored] ALL OF YOU BARBARIC S'WITS! I ASPIRE TO GREAT THINGS YOUR SMALL MINDS CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE!"

He stood and grabbed one of the chairs sitting at his table and clumsily threw it in the direction of the bar's patrons, which caused them to move out of the way. With that last act, he stormed out of the bar and left Balmora through the north gate.

TWO DAYS LATER?

The motion to reach for his short-sword was an automatic reflex, but in this case it was a false alarm as Cavortius Pelelius entered Balmora's southern gate, his burlap travel bag slung over his left shoulder. He scanned the streets, feeling lost and confused, but knew that it would only be a matter of time before he got his bearings straight.

Born into an upper-class home in the Breton province of High Rock, he was five feet eight inches tall with a medium build, blue eyes, and short dark brown hair. Cavortius was not the average arrogant Imperial?well, he was to an extent, but in a completely different context. At a young age, Cavortius became interested in the arcane areas of magic. He considered himself a battle mage, though not of the usual sort. Instead of heavy armor, which was the preferred type of armor for persons in his profession, he donned a robe and light armor on certain occasions.

His nobility and family connections allowed him as such to train with the Queen of Wayrest's personal bodyguards. His family bounced back and forth between Wayrest and Daggerfall, and the combat training benefited the young Imperial. What differentiated him from the average Imperial noble of his then-young age was that he wasn't afraid of getting roughed up or bloodied up.

Yet even though he loved the training and experience he gained, sword-fighting wasn't his true passion. His roots were in magic, particularly the areas of Destruction and Mysticism. His study of these arts lead him into more sinister thoughts and practices, a fact that he had worked hard to keep hidden from his family. Eventually, Cavortius gained the courage to contact a group of necromancers and was granted special exceptions due to his nobility.

This group, led by Mannimarco (a.k.a. The King of Worms), were researching on the best ways to turn themselves into Liches, or undead mages capable of powerful magical abilities. Everything fell apart when the guards of Daggerfall raided Scourge Barrow, the main headquarters of the group on the outskirts of the city. His identity must've been discovered because Cavortius was the only noble in the group and who knew if he had been followed? The one thing the young Imperial wasn't versed well in was spy craft.

For fear of his own life at the hands of the guards, as well as the necromancers, he seeked out his friend Darius, a Redguard shipmaster who agreed to take Cavortius out of the province on one of his normal shipping operations. Wanting to get as far away as possible from High Rock, the Imperial hid on board his friend's ship for months before reaching the last stop on his journey, which was the port of Ebonheart in southern Vvardenfell.

Through it all, though, from the day Scourge Barrow was raided, Cavortius Pelelius didn't stop thinking of the dream he had had on the ship. He had seen himself in a thick black robe, casting powerful spells from his bony fingertips at unseen opponents--an almighty, powerful lich. But that dream was gone, and he now found himself in a strange, unknown land--the home of the Dunmer.

Cavortius only knew bits and pieces--that it was here the Dwemer vanished, where House Dagoth was utterly destroyed, and where the local religion was the Tribunal. Other than those three bits of information, his knowledge of Morrowind was nil.

His older brother Cunius happened to be in Ebonheart at the time of his arrival, but he wasn't much help. Cunius had said that he was busy with matters regarding House Hlaalu, and that he was sorry he couldn't help. He recalled that Hlaalu was one of the five Great Houses?as well as the most corrupt one.

Bastard, Cavortius had thought. You always were abusive to me, you piece of [censored]. It's no surprise that you're part of Hlaalu--money is involved. Cavortius hated his older brother.

So without any help or guide, he had stumbled through what was known as the Bitter Coast through the towns and fields, wondering why in Oblivion he was getting weird looks. It was confusing and maddening enough to be an 'outlander', but the rudeness couldn't be explained. So upon reaching Balmora, it made sense for him to find a tavern, a source of information. A female Argonian was waddling past him and he stopped her.

"The prey approaches," she greeted in the way Argonians do.

"Good day," Cavortius politely replied. Growing up in a nobility had its advantages. "Where can I find the nearest tavern?"

The Argonian raised her eyebrows. "There are five around here. The Council Club and Lucky Lockup are behind me, the Southwall Cornerclub is across the Odai on the east side of town, and the Fighter's Club and Eight Plates are to the north." As she said each name, she indicated their location with a clawed finger.

"Wow, that's quite the selection."

She nodded. "It's one of the main reasons why Balmora is such a popular destination after Vivec. Me, I prefer the Eight Plates, though only during the day."

"I'll take you up on that," Cavortius said, smiling. "Thank you, I'll be on my way now."

"Farewell."

True to his word, Cavortius headed north past the Fighters Guild and Mages Guild and came to two buildings before him connected by a small bridge, Deducing the left-hand building to be a store, he proceeded to the right-hand building and entered through the latch-cord door. He expected a fair amount of people at this time a day drinking themselves silly.

Inside, however, only four patrons were present and the publican was behind the bar. From the looks of it, the place seemed to be trashed but not in the normal way that taverns get trashed.

"What happened here?" Cavortius asked lightly.

For a moment, no one said anything until the publican spoke. "A crazed man has come in here the past two days, ranting about how stupid we are and that he was a lich. Also that he knows things that our minds can't understand."

For a few moments, Cavortius' interested piqued at the mention of his dream life, but it quickly died out. "A lich, you say? Was he drunk?"

"Most likely," she continued. "But I'm not so sure now. Early this morning, he came in and trashed it again. I had one of the guards track him to a cave next to the first bridge on the way to Caldera. They can't prove he's a psycho, and he could've been drunk, but it doesn't hurt to check, you know?"

Cavortius nodded. "Agreed. You can never be so sure sometimes. By the way, can I get a bottle of Cyrodiilic brandy?"

"Sure."

The Imperial took a seat at one end of the bar and the Dunmer publican slid the bottle down the bar's surface. He caught it in his right hand, popped the cork with his thumb and took a sip, mulling over this new information.

So a man claims to be a lich, huh? he thought to himself. She also mentioned that he knew things that no normal person could understand. What could that mean?

It was all very confusing. On the one hand, this man could be stone-cold crazy. On the other hand, he might very well be trying to turn himself into a lich. The fact that Lichs were being brought up again here in Vvardenfell seemed like a coincidence, which it was. The way the publican had related the news made it seem like a rumor, and the publican probably doesn't work every day.

Nevertheless, he didn't want to raise any suspicions by immediately rushing off, so he sat at the bar for a few more drinks and even bought a room for the night.

Cavortius made the decision to venture out at nightfall for the cave, as he was very tired from walking straight to Balmora from Vivec. Upon finding his room down the stairs away from the bar, he squared away his gear and collapsed onto the bed.

The last thing he did before doing so, though, was locking the door tight and keeping his short-sword within reach of him. After that, he was out.

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Of all the things that could wake him, a bang on his door was the last thing on his mind.

Cavortius' upper body shot up straight as he reached for the short-sword in one fluid motion. He heard it again and quickly threw on his shirt and black robe. The bang resonated once more, and for the first time the Imperial thought he heard music faintly filtering through the door.

With the tip of the sword pointed at the door and with one hand on the door latch, he took a deep breath, and exhaled--at the same moment, he pulled the door open. What greeted him was both unexpected and shocking.

The music became more loud and an Imperial male's back was facing him?butt included. A Dark Elf woman's arms were hanging around the strong man's neck and the Dunmer woman cried out in surprise. This in turn caused the Imperial to become startled and fall to the floor on his back, placing the woman right on top of them and the man in pain.

The Dark Elf woman gave an embarrassed expression, flushing red like lava. "Um, sorry, we didn't know--"

Cavortius held up his hand as he gathered his travel sack, slung it over his shoulder, and put the hood on his robe up. He then sheathed his weapon. "I don't care, just?use the damned room."

He stepped over the pair's entangled bodies and turned to walk up the ramp into the bar, but stopped. Before him were nvde dancers gyrating erotically to sultry music and lucky males stepping up to?have six?

What in Oblivion is up with this place?! Cavortius thought, only half discouraged by what he saw--the dancers were quite attractive, and the men quite lucky.

Nevertheless, he couldn't let such tomfoolery stop his mission. His dream was to become a lich and crazed man or not, the cave just outside of town could be the first stepping stone to his journey.

As he placed a hand on the door to the exit, he briefly thought how absurd he was for passing up an erotic encounter for wanting to be undead. Cavortius laughed at his own madness and exited the tavern.

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"I'll show all those bastards that I'm a lich!" Senzani Na shouted, pocketing various random ingredients for the preparation ahead of him. "I have it all! Everything but the phylactery of divinity, which will soon be in my grasp!"

In his rucksack were two pieces of raw ebony and a diamond. On the top of his head was a helmet made from the bones of a troll and in his hands was a wooden staff. He was all set to go.

As he made for the entrance to his cave, he thought he heard the door rattling, like someone trying to get the door open.

Vivec's testicles! Senzani cursed. I must've been followed!

The Dark Elf quickly scurried back to his part of the cave and crouched behind a screen.

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When Cavortius stepped through, he had his short-sword out and ready in case of attack. Inside the first part was a small circular room that went high up to the ceiling, with ebony deposits lining the wall in front of him. Nothing came at him, but he didn't let his guard down. The blade was only for close-combat; his repertoire of spells was what would help him succeed, and being an ex-servant of Mannimarco had advantages and spells that the local Mages Guild couldn't readily prepare. Yet despite his shady affiliation, he still had a noble's blood in him and believed in settling things out as peacefully as possible.

The cave was sufficiently lit to the point that he didn't need to cast Night-Eye, so with that out of the way, he proceeded down a right-hand passage that emerged into a bigger room with a table, chair, bedroll and some chests.

Not to mention a screen with a torch behind it that was casting an unnatural shadow. Then again, torches in caves tended to cast unnatural shadows to begin with, and this caused him to drop his guard (if only a fraction)

"Anybody here?" he called out, uncertain.

Nothing.

He slowly walked into the room, turning in a circle slowly so he could see anyone coming at him from a blind spot. The fact that the guy may be invisible crossed his mind, but there were tell-tale signs to determine if one was cloaked. But right now, there was nothing.

As he got closer to the screen, he called out again. "Hey listen! If you're just a guy who likes to drink and think he's a lich, that's all good! Just say so, and I'll leave."

Not taking the unnatural shadow for what it was happened to be Cavortius' first mistake. His second was letting his guard down slightly, which allowed a Dark Elf in a yellow robe to smack him in the face with a wooden staff.

The sudden blow to the face surprised him enough that he fell to the ground and dropped his travel bag. The sound of footsteps running followed.

"You stupid Imperial [censored], I am a Lich!" a voice called out, the footsteps seeming to make their way for the entrance.

The Imperial necromancer caught a glance of the man running, and was thankful for having been a servant to the King of Worms. Mannimarco had taught Cavortius a version of Telekinesis that not only could be used on inanimate objects, but on humanoids as well. With some effort, Cavortius stuck his left hand out and concentrated on the flow of magicka within him. He whipped his arm back and was pleased to see the Mer ripped off his feet and sent flying back into the room.

Pelelius knew that diplomacy wasn't going to work now, so he grabbed his short-sword and charged for the Dunmer's prone form. But despite his sudden landing, the elf was fast and dodged a downward blow by rolling to his left and causing the necromancer's blade to be stuck in the dirt.

As the Imperial tried to pull it out, the Dunmer whacked him on the back with his staff. A lance of pain shot through him and he screamed.

"Didn't I tell you drunk fools that you're all [censored] stupid?!" the Mer cried. He whacked Cavortius on the back again. "And I didn't I tell you that you can't understand the magic of old?!"

The third crash on his back from the wooden staff pushed the Imperial over the edge. He gripped the Dark Elf's leg and sent a powerful Firebite spell through his fingers. As predicted, the man's robe caught on fire and he frantically began stomping about--or dancing, as Cavortius liked to call it--to put it out.

This distraction was all the Imperial needed to grab his short-sword and stab the Mer's side, which caused a spray of blood and a hint of intestine to come out of the hole. The Mer was dead.

Cavortius rummaged through his travel bag for a potion to heal his wounds and guzzled half of it down. The pain in his back started to fade, and he got to his knees to examine the body.

In the Mer's rucksack were two pieces of raw ebony and a diamond?as well as a rolled up piece of parchment paper. Ignoring the valuables, Cavortius quickly unrolled the letter and read it:

"Senzani Na --

We have been watching since learning of your interests. We know what you seek to accomplish, and we offer the following information that may interest you. According to 'The Red Book of Worms', the ingredients you will require are a diamond, two pieces of raw ebony, a wooden staff, and the bones of a troll (it matters not if they have been shaped into something).

Additionally and most important is possession of a phylactery of divinity. While we cannot state with certainty where you may find one, we believe that if you seek in the bowels of the Heran Ancestral Tomb your efforts will be rewarded. The tomb is to be found along the coast, southwest of the settlement of Hla Oad. You will require a key to gain entry therein, but this we leave in your capable hands to procure."

The letter wasn't signed, but it did provide the identity of the dead man. A further search of the body did in fact produce a key that Cavortius could only assume to be for the tomb. On the table was a book?a diary upon further inspection.

Just from reading this alone, he knew he had done the world a great service, for Senzani Na was truly a sick individual. Just to get the key to the tomb, he had killed a man's daughter who's ancestry was part of the tomb in order to gain access. With utter disgust, he put the book into his own travel bag, planning to give it to the publican of the Eight Plates.

As Cavortius Pelelius emerged from the cave, he pondered everything he had just learned and discovered it had begun to rain (but such a thing didn't phase him). Here he thought he would escape from his past and start a new life?but try as he might, the desire and hunger for power and immortality was there. He couldn't shake it?but he had to watch his back, for it wouldn't be long before the spy network in Daggerfall discovered that he was on the other side of Nirn. And when that happened, the garrisons on Vvardenfell would be alerted.

Wouldn't surprise me if my own damn brother brought me in, he thought bitterly and shook his head.

Destiny lay before him. This was an opportunity that he didn't dare want to pass up. He didn't feel like going back in to get the other materials, for he knew they'd still be there when he got back. Cavortius knew that once he made the decision he couldn't turn back?but the benefits outweighed the risks.

Let's check out that tomb, he thought and ran back to Balmora.
User avatar
Steph
 
Posts: 3469
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2006 7:44 am

Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:40 pm

bump anyone? i really would like some feedback. if i get enough, ill start posting the rest
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Lakyn Ellery
 
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Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:02 pm

Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 6:23 am

Very nice! I love the mod, I love your writing. Keep it up, I want to see the end! :foodndrink:
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Emilie Joseph
 
Posts: 3387
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2007 6:28 am

Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:13 am

thank you ravenwood! this thing is still a work in progress (im only now writing chapter 8 -_-), but ill post the first chapter sometime later today. :]
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Krystina Proietti
 
Posts: 3388
Joined: Sat Dec 23, 2006 9:02 pm

Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:24 am

thank you ravenwood! this thing is still a work in progress (im only now writing chapter 8 -_-), but ill post the first chapter sometime later today. :]


Looking forward to it. It's an epic mod.
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Emerald Dreams
 
Posts: 3376
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:52 pm

Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 6:10 am

The Illuminated Order

Chapter 1 - Wild Goose Chase


A quick note on a piece of parchment paper, saying who's diary it was and where he had found it, was enough for Cavortius. He snuck the book onto the counter at the Eight Plates when no one was looking, then melted back through the crowds and out the door, making his way for the Silt Strider at the south gate. The rain continued to fall steadily.

When he approached the gigantic flea-like bug, the caravaner asked, "Where would you like to go?"

"Hla Oad, please," the Imperial replied.

For a brief moment, the caravaner gave the Imperial a frustrated look. "I'm sorry, outlander, but my Strider doesn't go there. The closest I can take you to there is Vivec, and then you'll have to take a boat."

"That works, sera. How much?"

"Thirty septims." Cavortius rummaged through his pockets and produced three 10-septim pieces of gold and gave them to the Dunmer, who barked a command at the Strider.

The giant bug lowered itself to allow both Cavortius and the driver to get in. The Imperial took a seat behind the caravaner and closed his eyes as the rain pounded down on his body.

He must've dozed off because the fact that the rain wasn't pounding on him anymore caused him to stir. He opened his eyes and discovered it was close to dawn, but it was still dark outside. The caravaner bid him a good morning and he headed back to Balmora, the Strider stomping away into the distance.

Cavortius found himself back in Vivec, the first place he'd been to upon his arrival, so he already knew where the boat service was. As such, he left the gangway he was currently standing on and made a left toward the city, then another down the hill to the docks.

The scale of Vivec when he first saw its large cantons had been overwhelming and still was to a degree. The god Vivec resided at the far side of the city, in the Temple canton and more specifically the High Fane. Supposedly the god's skin was both bronze and green--a reminder and symbol of what his people used to be, the Chimer.

When Cavortius had arrived, he heard the locales mention something called Red Mountain and something evil named Dagoth Ur and that the Tribunal had something to do with it. But that wasn't his problem; it was everyone else's. His current priority was finding this tomb.

The Dunmer who operated the boat was Ano Andaram, whom he had met at the docks of Ebonheart and was a rather friendly Dunmer, for he hadn't been rude in saying he was an outlander. This Dunmer rather liked helping people, and it was Cavortius' first 'friend' in Morrowind?at least, he felt it was so.

"Ah, back again, I see," Ano greeted, extending his arm for Cavortius to shake.

"Indeed," the Imperial replied, taking the hand. "Hla Oad, sera."

"Thirty-five drakes." The money was exchanged and Cavortius laid down on one of the wooden planks that doubled as benches, and the Dark Elf began to unravel the rope that was tied to the dock.

Before the boat had even begun to move, Pelelius was asleep.

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Cavortius, subconsciously, was very much enjoying the nap on the way to the small village of Hla Oad. It was surprisingly dreamless despite him having killed a man just a few hours prior.

The one thing he didn't prefer, however, was the second rude awakening within days of landing in Morrowind.

A violent jerk of the boat, accompanied by the sound of a crashing noise, served to bump the Imperial off of his makeshift bed into the boat itself. He landed hard on his chest, and that was what had woken him up. He peered out over the edge of the boat, still trying to clear the sleepiness from his eyes.

It was dawn, and the sun had already began to rise overhead and the direct sunlight to his still-waking eyes was painful. Out of his peripheral he saw two ramshackle houses made of wood, clay, straw, and resin. Then he heard the sounds of two voices arguing, and when Cavortius looked toward the bow, he discovered the source of his awakening.

Somehow Ano had managed to crash part of his ship into the dock and had nearly avoided hitting another ship that was currently tied to it, thus prompting the owner of that ship to yell at Ano. At least, that's what he assumed. The necromancer felt his shoulder for his travel bag, but it wasn't there--to his chagrin, he was laying on top of it.

Slinging the pack over his shoulder like a sash, he stood from the boat and stretched out his arms to rid them of the aches he felt.

"Hey, uh, Ano," Cavortius stated. Both his driver and the other shipmaster stopped arguing to glance at the Imperial.

"Oh, hey Cavortius?um, look. As you can see, I have a bit of trouble here."

"A lot of trouble!" the other shipmaster shouted, crossing her arms and glaring at Ano.

"So, uh, you've paid me and you're free to go," Ano stated.

"Okay, thank you. How will I get back?"

He cocked his head toward the Dark Elf woman. "Her."

Cavortius nodded and climbed up onto the dock and walked into the village. He looked at his map just to make sure of where he was, or rather where the village was, and put it back in his bag once he was satisfied.

However, rushing off blindly into the wilderness was a surefire way to get himself killed, so he hung around town for a bit and gathered information.

Hla Oad was aligned with House Hlaalu, which always put a foul taste in Cavortius' mouth, and it appeared that only seven buildings were in place. But what struck the Imperial most was the level of tension in the air. Everyone here seemed more hostile than others he had met, and it was more than the whole 'outlander' thing he had going for him.

Nevertheless, he managed to get directions to the tomb with the help of one of the Hlaalu Guards and even got it pin-pointed on his map. It was indeed southwest of the settlement and didn't require much of a walk. Nearby was a ship that wasn't docked at Hla Oad, but something about it told him to steer clear.

Cavortius now stood before the door to the Heran Ancestral Tomb. Just out of human nature, he tried the door, and to his surprise it opened. The tomb wasn't as lit as the cave near Balmora, so he quietly invoked his Night-Eye spell and the level of light filtering through his pupils increased.

Before him was a staircase leading to another door, and the Imperial drew his dwarves short-sword, holding his right arm out and the tip forward. He kicked open the door and was greeted by a spear-wielding skeleton, who's bony permanent grin seemed too outlandish for such a situation.

Since Cavortius was some distance away and out of sword's length, he casted a Frostball spell from his left hand and the skeleton froze in place. The Imperial quickly crossed the gap and started hacking away at the skeletal corpse, hacking both its limbs off but it managed to become unfrozen and it head-butt him to the ground.

What it did next was almost unreal. The skeleton pounced on top of his prone form and continued trying to bash its head into him! The fall had caused him to drop his sword and that Fireball spell had cost him more than half of his magic reserves. So all he had was his arms to protect his face.

The skeleton's hard skull bashing against his arms burned like Oblivion, but gradually the undead guardian bashed its head a little too hard and its skull split in half. The skeleton collapsed on top of the Imperial, who roughly pushed it off and then retrieved his fallen short-sword.

As Cavortius proceeded through the tomb, he encountered two more skeletons and a Daedric creature known as a Scamp. Each time he encountered these creatures he tried a different method of attack--be it a spell, a summoning scroll, or his blade, but each creature fell dead in the end.

He reached what he thought to be the end of the tomb, with a door propped open with the help of a rock. He assumed it to be the end because the key he had procured from Senzani's corpse hadn't been put to use yet. In all actuality, the Imperial was becoming rather annoyed at the thought that this adventure could all be for nothing and that he was on a wild goose chase. But still he pressed on.

In the final room was a skeleton with a sword and shield. To soften it up, Cavortius casted a lightning spell. The skeleton champion twitched and convulsed in place, stunned from the electrical burst, and Cavortius charged in with his dwarves short-sword, knocking the shield out of line and chopped horizontally at the guardian's spine. It fell in two separate pieces, the sword and shield each clattering to the floor.

The Imperial stopped to put his hands on his knees and catch his breath. He was breathing heavy, mainly from exhaust, but he found yet another door standing before him when he looked up again. Reluctantly, he approached it and tried the lock. To his surprise, he met resistance and kept pushing, but it wouldn't budge--it was locked.

Pelelius' excitement suddenly shot up. Could this be the door? he wondered. He patted himself down, trying to find the pocket on his robe where he put the key, and was furious when it wasn't there. Yet when he looked on the ground, there it was.

He chuckled to himself--it must've fallen out when he had engaged that skeleton. Bending over, he picked it up and inserted it in the lock and turned. The door opened.

"Yes!" he exclaimed and proceeded to trod down a long narrow staircase. He still kept his guard up, though--Senzani whacking him on the back with a staff still rang clear in his memory.

As he reached the bottom of the steps, he came upon a massive, shadowy figure. His Night-Eye spell had worn out because as he had moved deeper within the Heran Ancestral Tomb, the lighting became better. But down here, it was nearly pitch-black save for a source of light behind the figure some ways away.

Cavortius moved forward in a crouch, sword at the ready, and silently invoked Night-Eye. But upon doing so, he wished he hadn't.

Somehow, the Ogrim that stood before him didn't charge him at first, as the massive bloated Daedric creature was staring right at him. But then it let out a vicious, horrible snarl and then lumbered toward Cavortius with surprising speed. That was the Imperial's cue to backpedal toward the stairs.

How in Oblivion did it fit through the door?! his mind blurted. He cast two weak Firebite spells in quick succession as he reached the safety of the doorframe. His furious backpedaling and not paying attention to where the steps began caused him to trip on the bottom stair and fall backward--luckily, this saved his life as the Ogrim had swung its massive fist forward to hit the small human.

Cavortius scurried back up the stairs on his butt, casting spells at the beast. In the process, his sword fell from his hand and clattered back down the stairs toward the Ogrim, who was trying to push itself through the tiny doorframe.

"Ysmir's Beard!" he cursed. But then he had an idea. A crazy, suicidal idea, but it could just work.

When a person is charged by another in combat, the defending person usually backs away, just as the attacking opponent would suspect. But rarely does the defending person charge. And this was what Cavortius did. In doing so, he hoped to confuse the Ogrim (which, from being a necromancer, he knew weren't smart servants).

He charged back down the stairs, screaming and yelling incoherent words, and the Daedra beast briefly held a puzzled look on its face. That ended the moment Cavortius slammed his body into the creature's belly. It didn't knock him over (such creatures were very powerful), but he did make the beast stumble away from the doorframe. This distraction allowed the Imperial to scoop up his short-sword and drive it through the Ogrim's belly, carving a rough circle in its stomach and disemboweling it.

The Ogrim cried out in pain before falling flat on its face. Despite getting blood on himself, Cavortius was glad this was over. Yet the fact that an Ogrim had somehow found its way down here made him wonder.

Nevertheless, with sword still drawn, Cavortius recast his Night-Eye spell and proceeded down the long tunnel to the source of light at the end.

What he came to was a small circular altar about waist-height with a small stone chest sitting on top. The key he used for the door also worked for the chest, and here he hoped was the phylactery of divinity.

But as he opened the chest, all he found was another piece of rolled up paper and a key (which he immediately pocketed out of habit). At this point, Cavortius almost tore it up in anger over being led into a wild goose chase, but he stilled himself and unrolled the letter.

"We are about to disappoint you, and reward you as well. There is no phylactery of divinity to be had here or, indeed, anywhere on Vvardenfell. Do not let this trouble you, however, as we have known for centuries that the instructions 'The Red Book of Worms' contains for becoming a lich are fraudulent and ineffective in any case.

You are no doubt angry, justifiably so. Hear us out before passing judgment, however.

We gave you information we knew was in error, and we did so willfully."


Cavortius stared down at the piece of paper in disbelief, his eyes and mouth both wide in shock. He also had the sense to move up against the back wall in case anymore demons came out of the darkness.

What in the Gods' names is this? he thought wearily. Nevertheless, he kept reading.

"It was not to waste your time that we did so, however, but rather to keep us from wasting our own. It was needful to see how determined you were in your endeavor, how much effort you would go through to further your goal of becoming a Lich. We needed to see the strength in your resolve, and having you gather the reagents specified by the Red Book (something more than one of us has, at one time or another, done as well) was an adequate means of measuring that."

Cavortius had to keep in mind that this letter must've been written with Senzani in mind. But yet, this letter had been placed here by hand?as far as he knew, there was no type of spell or magic that could magically place letters in places.

"We are an organization that has existed on the fringes of society in Vvardenfell for centuries, since before the coming of the Empire. We have dedicated our efforts to the study of those things the temple has deemed anathema; vampires, lycanthropes, necromancy and other, similar studies. Studies that are outlawed, whose practitioners are persecuted and executed (as we are sure you are aware). It is thus that we must maintain the secrecy with which we have cloaked ourselves for our own self-preservation.

We are the Illuminated Order of the Invisibles. We extend to you, based on the vigorousness of your own researches, an invitation to join our number. It is an invitation extended but seldom, and we hope for your forgiveness of our deception of you and your acceptance of our offered brotherhood."


Were it not for the fact that Cavortius had slain the recipient that this letter had been for, he would've joined straight away with this Order. After all, what this Order did was extremely intriguing and inviting. Maybe he could join anyway? But then they'd be suspicious as to how he had found them. The Imperial continued to read.

"Lest we continue to give you the wrong impression, let us state now that we do not, sadly, know of any viable method of becoming a Lich. We have searched. We continue to do so. It eludes us. Joining us will not give you the opportunity to become a Lich, but it will open many other doors and hidden records to you.

Should you wish to join our Order, take the key contained in this chest and travel to Balmora. There look for Demnevanni Manor. In the chambers beneath the manor you will find Thuvien Demnevanni. Recite unto him, "Behind closed eyes, realize your sight" so that he may know you, and you will be welcomed as the newest member of the Illuminated Order."


So that settles it then, Cavortius thought. I may not become a Lich, but I can still continue my passion. He was just about to roll up the piece of paper when, after a blank space on the scroll, he saw more writing. Curious, he began to read again.

"Oh yes, one final thing.

We are not fools, Cavortius. We are quite well aware you are not Senzani Na, to whom we first prepared to extend this invitation."


"What the [censored]!" Cavortius screamed, dropping the letter and backing away from it and drawing his short-sword. His first thought was that this was a trap, that the trail he thought he'd erased in High Rock had followed him here. Who knows if he had passed invisible guards on the way down the chamber? All it would take was a mage to teach the spell.

"Where are you?! Come out and fight me, you bastards!"

But for a long time, nothing emerged and nothing happened. On the verge of hysterics, Cavortius managed to pick up the scroll with a trembling hand.

"In the end, this matters not. Whether originally intended for you or not, it was you who ran our gauntlet and satisfied our curiosity. Thus do we invite you, as we would have him. We merely do not wish for you to make the error of believing us ignorant of the truth in this matter."

The letter ended there, once again unsigned like the note he had found on Senzani Na's body. Cavortius didn't know what to think. This could be a very elaborate trap or it could be the divine intervention he had been seeking since escaping High Rock. In a panic, he ran down the long hall, vaulted over the Ogrim's body, and sprinted as fast as possible for the tomb's entrance.

This can't be, this must be a joke, a dream, a sick prank! he thought alarmingly.

When he reached the top, he pushed through the door into the outside, the sun high above his head now. He didn't care if the water near him could be dirty; it would be cold, it would wash the blood from his body, and it could also help to see if he was dreaming.

Without hesitation, Cavortius Pelelius stripped off his travel bag and jumped into the mouth of the Odai River. The water was extremely cold, but served to shock his mind and body to full alertness. After treading water for a minute, he swam for the shoreline and crawled onto the bank. He reached into his travel bag for the note?no, it was still there, and it was very real. He wasn't dreaming, he hadn't gone mad, but something just didn't smell right about this whole situation.

Instead of heading back to Hla Oad to catch a boat to Vivec, Cavortius pulled out his map and looked for Balmora. From the looks of it, if he followed the Odai River north, he would emerge in Balmora. Hopefully, the walk would give him time to think and pass the time. In the potential case that this was a trap, he wanted to walk through the southern gate at night and find the manor.

And if it was a trap, then Cavortius would go out fighting.

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The walk had taken Cavortius six hours and by the time he reached the road leading into Balmora, it was about nine o'clock. Stars glittered in the sky, and Nirn's two moons were semi-visible.

If the Illuminated Order had a base in Balmora, which seemed to be this manor mentioned in the letter, Cavortius assumed that it wouldn't be in the upper-class district where House Hlaalu 'nobles' resided. No, it would likely be in the poor part of town east of the Odai--mainly to be inconspicuous.

As Cavortius reached the south gate, he pulled the hood on his robe up and adjusted it so it obscured half of his face. When he was satisfied, the Imperial walked quickly but discreetly across the south-most bridge leading to the east side of town and walked up the stairs near a large house with a tower.

He walked down the streets, past the South Wall Cornerclub, but found nothing on the name plates mentioning a Demnevanni Manor. Becoming increasingly weary that this was a trap, his hand occasionally reached for his short-sword, but he restrained that impulse.

Cavortius walked down the stairs near the house of a man named Caius Cosades, past another house on his right, and went right on the street. The tall tower next to that house was the Eastern Guard Tower, and the Imperial knew immediately that it wouldn't be there. But next to the Guard Tower was a curious building that he didn't remember being there before.

Then again, when Cavortius had left for the cave the previous night, he had been half drunk and intensely focused on his task, so he may have missed it. As he approached the building, the tag on it said Demnevanni Manor.

The Imperial was extremely hesitant as he gripped the cord-latch on the door and looked around to see if anybody was watching. A Hlaalu Guard was making his way across the river toward the rest of the city, but that was all he could see. He inserted the key he had found in the tomb in the lock, quickly entered and shut the door behind him.

Immediately he got a strange vibe upon entering the manor. To his left was a bed with a canopy, a dresser, table and chair directly to his left, and another dresser opposite the bed. On top of the closest dresser was an open piece of paper.

Ever curious, he examined the paper without touching it. The words, written in spidery letters, sent chills down his spine: "We're watching you, Cavortius."

On the opposite wall was an evil-looking tapestry, with red light glowing from behind it. No matter how much he wanted to turn around and leave, thinking this whole thing to be a trap, some unknown force was at work and he felt himself slowly being drawn towards the tapestry. Pretty soon, he was on the other side of it and he didn't know how.

Cavortius began to slowly walk down the stairs, his hand hovering on his short-sword. The red glow, he discovered, came from a series of red candles he found in the corners of each flight he went down. There were about five flights of stairs, and he was wondering when in Talos' name it would end.

When it did, he found himself looking into a dirt chamber that resembled a cave, with a doorframe connecting the manor to this room. Inside was a bedroll, some dressers, an altar which contained three red candles, a skull, and bloody writing, and various alchemical apparatuses.

And standing behind the altar was a Dark Elf dressed in a blue robe with large pieces of gold embroidery stitched on the shoulders, chest, and neck. The expression the Dunmer had was somewhat sour, yet strangely warm and welcoming. This must've been Thuvien Demnevanni, who looked to be about a hundred years old (though he couldn't be sure, as the way that Dunmer aged was a mystery to him).

"You're standing in my light," Thuvien said blandly.

Cavortius raised an eyebrow, not sure what to make of the statement, but then he remembered the phrase he was to speak. "Behind closed eyes, realize your sight," the Imperial said.

Demnevanni raised both his eyebrows and then nodded. "It is always a pleasure to meet another who will willingly step out of the light and into the shadows?where those formless and nameless howl silently for our very souls. Will you willingly step out of the light? Will you join the Illuminated Order?"

Cavortius took a deep breath and exhaled. This is your chance. You have the potential to make some friends and family here. Do it.

"I will," Cavortius said with confidence.

"The order is well pleased with you," Thuvien replied. "We claim you as one of our own. Henceforth, you are Cavortius, the Instrument of Dark Labors, one of the Illuminated Order."
User avatar
Breautiful
 
Posts: 3539
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:51 am

Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:24 pm

This is impressive so far. The mod it's based upon is not one I'm familiar with, so the story is new to me - and it's certainly got my curiosity up and running. Please continue, this is looking very promising :)
User avatar
Adrian Morales
 
Posts: 3474
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:19 am

Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 6:21 am

thank you burntsierra. you should definitely check out the mod. its probably one of the most comprehensive questlines and its incredibly long. more to come soon
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Micah Judaeah
 
Posts: 3443
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:22 pm

Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 11:32 pm

bumping this, gonna post chapter 2 soon.
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Silvia Gil
 
Posts: 3433
Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:31 pm

Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:35 pm

heres chapter 2

The Illuminated Order

Chapter 2 - In The Name of Order


After the induction was complete, Thuvien Demnevanni directed Cavortius to a nearby table that had two chairs set up. "Please, have a seat. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. Also, I want to get to know you a little bit."

Cavortius nodded and the two men walked to the table and each took a seat facing each other.

"First, before we begin the questions and answers," Thuvien said, "tell me about yourself."

And so Cavortius spoke. He talked about growing up as a noble in High Rock, migrating between Wayrest and Daggerfall, and about the training he had received in Wayrest. He talked at length about his interest in the dark arts and his love for magic. When he began describing how he came into contact with Mannimarco, the Dark Elf became very interested in him, giving the Imperial his full attention by leaning forward.

He talked of some of the spells he had learned and then how the group was researching on how to become a Lich, then how it all fell apart when Scourge Barrow was raided by the guards of Daggerfall and then how he made his escape. When he mentioned the Barrow, a strange expression briefly appeared on Demnevanni's face--one that he could not understand, but soon dismissed it as an odd quirk. Then he explained how he still desired to be a Lich and that upon hearing of Senzani Na's crazed ramblings, he investigated. His apprehension towards the letter he discovered was also brought up.

When Cavortius was finished, Thuvien was genuinely surprised with the young man's tale. "Well, Cavortius, that's quite the story. I'll be honest with you--it's been years since we've had a new member join the Order, but from what you just told me, you could be very essential to our order indeed. For as long as we've been around, we've never had anyone who served Mannimarco."

"Is that good or bad?" Cavortius asked, noticeably worried.

Thuvien stared at the table and tapped his fingers. Then he looked back up at the human and said, "Although normally the Order considers servants of the King of Worms as a threat, the fact that you ran instead of staying to rebuild seems to prove otherwise. But on the whole, it is a very good thing."

Cavortius nodded. "It's a part of my past I wish to forget?I mean, it took nearly six months on my friend's ship to get here. I just wanted to be as far away from High Rock as possible. But, you said I could ask some questions?"

The old Dunmer nodded rapidly. "Yes, yes. But remember, I can only answer so much."

For a few minutes, Cavortius remained silently as he thought of a series of questions to ask. Then the first one came: "I have a vague idea of what the Order does, but can you make it clearer for me?"

Again, Demnevanni nodded. "We in the Illuminated Order are a secretive group that study various esoteric subjects that are?actively discouraged by the Temple. Our uniting purpose is the research into the subjects that fascinate us, however dark or forbidden."

"Tell me more of these 'esoteric subjects.'"

"Very well. I mean by that the study of vampires, lycanthropes, liches, and my own personal specialty, necromancy. Those are not only our main subjects of inquiry, however. We do not limit ourselves to just these four topics, and quite a bit of effort goes into the research of other subjects as well."

He paused to reach over toward a chest and pulled out a bottle of liquor. He popped the cork and took a sip before continuing.

"My own particular field is that of the necromantic arts, as I mentioned. Others of our Order have more varied interests, of course."

Cavortius nodded three times. This Order sounded very interesting and he was glad that he had found all of this out. Nevertheless, he had to ask something that he felt the old Dunmer would find stupid.

"This may sound kind of dumb," Cavortius said slowly, trying to get the words out, "but, the activities the Order does?have you ever been discovered?"

"Of course," Thuvien replied. "And it's not dumb. Numerous times over the past couple of centuries, there have been a number of isolated incidents where the Temple came close to executing some of us. These individuals were dealt with, but in ways that weren't harmful.

"However, do understand, while to an outsider our research seems to be rooted in evil, it truly isn't. Our purpose is not to take over the world or kill off the entire population of Tamriel. That wouldn't benefit us or the world. In a way, we are like scientists, albeit in a different sense. Our research, while illegal, is helping us understand how some factors of nature work."

Cavortius nodded his approval; this sounded exactly like his type of guild. Guild?is that even the right word? he pondered. But ultimately, this Illuminated Order seemed to be just like himself--he wanted to learn the dark arts, but in a way that would be beneficial to himself and others. However, even he couldn't understand how becoming a Lich would be a good thing. The Imperial figured that that answer would come in due time.

"So what exactly does the Order do to safeguard against outside threats?" Pelelius asked, leaning back in his chair and balancing on the legs.

Thuvien Demnevanni took another sip of his drink and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his robe. "You are already familiar with the tests we subject potential recruits to in order to determine the seriousness of their desire to seek out the forbidden mysteries. But we maintain an elaborate web of secrecy within our members' ranks as well. This is to ensure that even if individual members fall afoul of the Temple, the Order as a whole will survive. Until you have established yourself further with us, I am the only member of the Order whose existence will be made known."

"Very well, Thuvien," the Imperial replied. "Now tell me?how can I establish myself?"

"You will be assisting me in my research," the elder Dunmer replied. "This serves two purposes. First, I will provide training and background information as you perform tasks for me, which I'll get to in a moment. Second, it demonstrates your reliability to the Order and, in time, we will open further secrets to you. Assuming you're ready, I have two tasks for you."

Demnevanni stood from his seat and walked over to the dresser near his bedroll and pulled out a rolled up scroll from one of the drawers. He returned to his seat and handed it across the table to the new recruit.

"Your first task is to deliver a letter to M'aiq the Liar."

Cavortius wasn't sure if he was permitted to look over the letter, but he just had to know. "What does this letter contain?"

"As you know, we are a secretive Order. One way we maintain our secrecy is to spread deliberate misinformation, such as what is found in the letter. M'aiq will spread these lies to the unsuspecting, who will investigate--" The Dunmer smiled. "--and be disappointed in what they find.

"Having been disappointed once, they are far less likely to attempt to track down any other, possibly accurate, rumors that they hear. You may want to read the letter before delivering it, if only for a proper laugh. Let no one say necromancy is a humorless trade."

Cavortius grinned. "Alright. Where can I find this M'aiq?"

The Dunmer described at length where he could find the Khajiit: on an island east-southeast of Dagon Fel and a fair bit west of Ald Daedroth. When Thuvien asked for a map, Cavortius pulled his out and the Dark Elf marked the rough location of the man.

"This may be a simple errand, but an important one," Thuvien said before the two parted ways. "When you complete this task, report back here."

Cavortius nodded. "Will do." He then made his way out of the chamber and back up into the manor proper. Judging from his map, Dagon Fel was way the hell north in a region named Sheogorad. He shook his head--walking was out of the picture, so he made his way to the Silt Strider.

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The Imperial soon learned that he couldn't go everywhere in a Silt Strider, so he had to bounce between cities--first to Ald'ruhn, then Mar Gaan, then Khuul--before the shipmaster in Khuul took Cavortius to Dagon Fel. He had paid nearly two-hundred drakes for the trip.

While he was in transit to Mar Gaan, he took the time to read the letter he'd be delivering, and it was quite a hilarious read.

Para-Anatometaphysical Order of Esoteric Etheria, Cavortius had thought with a smile and shake of his head. How ridiculous.

Now standing on a small mountain east of Dagon Fel, he invoked a powerful water walking spell and slid down the slope on the balls of his feet into--onto--the water. He pulled out his map, scanning for Ald Daedroth. When he found it, he traced his finger west of the Daedric ruin toward a small island, then traced another finger east-southeast and the two fingers met. He replaced the map and began running on the surface of the water.

After getting lost once and many recasting of the spell, Cavortius finally spotted a Khajiit on an island wearing a Colovian Fur Helm who was looking pretty foolish.

Right as he reached the island, his water walking spell died and he stepped onto the island. The Khajiit must've been M'Aiq.

"Greetings!" the cat said as the Imperial approached. "M'Aiq knows many things. Some of it verified by actual facts!"

Resisting the urge to smile, the Imperial produced the letter. "I have something for you."

"You have something for me?" Excitement was in the Khajiit's voice.

"Yes, a letter." The exchange was made and M'Aiq pulled out a pair of reading glasses.

"Thank you," he said. "I'd been expecting this for awhile, been some time since the last one came. I was starting to think they didn't trust me."

Cavortius shrugged. "Seems they still do."

One spell he had learned early on was Divine Intervention, which had gotten him out of a few tight spots. Recalling the words for the spell, he closed his eyes, said the words, and disappeared in a blinding flash.

As his body felt as though it were being pieced back together, he opened his eyes and found himself standing under a grey stone arch. A flag rippled in the wind nearby and the characters spelled "Gnisis."

Cavortius pulled out his map and found that he was in northwestern Vvardenfell. But even from this distance, he could hear the sounds of a Silt Strider calling out, and he followed the source of the noises until he reached the port.

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Upon returning to the bottom of the Demnevanni Manor, Thuvien seemed to be cursing at something behind the altar.

"Blasted ring! Always falling off while I'm preparing a corpse--"

The Imperial loudly cleared his throat and Thuvien whirled around. "You there! Come over here and find my ring in this thing's intestines."

"I delivered the letter," the Imperial said, approaching the altar and spying a ring on it. "Found your ring."

Demnevanni walked toward the altar and took the ring from Cavortius, placing it on his left ring finger. "Thanks. I hate when I lose this damned thing. I always forget where I put it. And good job on the delivery. It will keep our enemies lost and confused."

The Dunmer began to search beneath the altar and placed a purple object with a few protrusions on top, followed by two scrolls.

"Cavortius, are you familiar with interrogating the dead?" When Pelelius shook his head, Thuvien continued. "By subjecting trapped souls to a lengthy ritual, we are able to force knowledge from them. Often we learn nothing of interest. Sometimes, however, we learn a great deal. Often enough, we learn things of interest that we engage in these interrogations regularly."

Thuvien pointed to the scrolls and purple object, which Cavortius realized was a Greater Soul Gem.

"Take the soul gem and scrolls of Fphyggi's Gem-Feeder. Use them to trap the soul of an ancestor ghost and return it to me. I care not where you find it, but don't summon it. Summoned ghosts are useless for our purposes."

Cavortius put the soul gem in his travel bag, as well as the scrolls, and left. As he emerged outside into the town, he tried to recall where the closest tomb was. It took him a few minutes, but then he remembered one being fairly close to Pelagiad.

As he left Balmora's south gate, he hoped that his luck would hold and the Legion would not catch up with him.

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Darko Valinus was about to go on duty, but Legion Commander Precarius Malo had called all the guards in for a meeting--most unusual, to say the least.

"We've just gotten word from Ebonheart that an Imperial named Cavortius Pelelius is on the run from High Rock authorities. Stop and arrest anyone who has a medium build, a height of five feet-eight inches, and wearing a black robe. As of now, we do not have a face for this man, but we aren't taking any chances. You're dismissed."

All the guards began filing out of the room--some for city patrol, others for perimeter patrol. In this case, Darko and his Nord friend Hawkeye were assigned to patrol the road that led from Seyda Neen to Fort Moonmoth. Perimeter patrol was always done in pairs because if one died or was injured, the other could go fetch help. The pair left out of Pelagiad towards Seyda Neen.

"Say, what would the chances be of us catching this Cavortius?" Hawkeye asked, scratching his thick beard.

Darko shrugged. "I doubt we will run into anyone matching his description. You know how this duty is?slow and dull."

"You have a point," the Nord conceded. "Cavortius Pelelius?you think he's related to Cunius Pelelius?"

"Who's that?" For some reason, that name sounded very familiar.

"He's a Lawman for House Hlaalu," Hawkeye continued. "Resides at the Governor's Hall in Caldera? Remember we met him once?"

"Ah, yes, him," Darko muttered, remembering the man very clearly. "If they are related, I feel sorry for Cavortius. Cunius is a real [censored]."

They both barked hearty laughs. "Agreed, comrade!" Hawkeye exclaimed as Pelagiad disappeared behind them.

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As the Imperial Legion pair disappeared around the mountains, Cavortius entered the Andrano Ancestral Tomb, drawing his dwarven short-sword. He heard the pitter-patter of feet at the bottom of the stairs before him, so he approached slowly. The interior was barely lit, but enough that Night Eye wasn't required.

When he reached the bottom, Cavortius saw a dead, half-decayed body laying face down on the floor. Behind it was a patch of darkness that he couldn't see into. As he stared at the body, his attention was so focused that only the hair-curling screech of a skeleton jumping at him from the darkness brought him to reality. Thing was, the skeleton was attacking with its?fists?

Are you serious? Cavortius thought as a blow hit his chest, barely hurting him. Are you that stupid?

With that last thought, the Imperial chopped the skeleton's head off and proceeded to a room off to his right as the boney minion collapsed. He now had the sense to cast Night-Eye, and would do so from now on no matter how lit an area may be. If something larger and stronger had attacked him, he'd be dead. When he opened the door, a spectral form at the end of the hallway began flying toward him at a very fast pace, howling a demonic scream. This caused the young man to slam the door shut--mainly out of being startled, and also to prepare himself.

He pulled out one of the scrolls Demnevanni had given him, looked it over, and hoped he read the scripture right.

With the ancestor ghost howling on the other side of the door, Pelelius took a deep breath and kicked in the door with all his strength, which had actually pushed the ghost back a little. This provided him enough time to shout the words on the scroll, and drop to his back as the scroll disappeared. The ghost flew over his body, slashing at him and leaving a gash on his left shoulder.

How the undead could cause harm to him, he didn't know, but he ignored the pain. Cavortius kip-upped to his feet and spun on his heel, slashing at the ghost, but it dodged the strike as well as the next few blows. Finally, though, one solid blow sent the ghost reeling into a pile of ectoplasm and the Imperial felt the soul gem shake in his bag--the soul was trapped,

Collapsing against a nearby wall, Cavortius opened a healing potion and dribbled it on his wound. He groaned, for it stung really bad, but he could feel the blood starting to clot. After a few more minutes of rest, he got to his feet.

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"So when it's all said and done, a cliff racer swoops by and [censored] all over him!"

Darko was nearly dying from laughter from Hawkeye's story. He had to give the blonde Nord credit: he could tell a story. It wasn't just the words, but the way he told it and the gestures he made. This was being told to him on the return trip from Seyda Neen.

"Let's sit down for a bit," Darko said, as they approached the cowl of the Andrano Tomb and sat down against a rock. "I'll tell you, Hawkeye, you tell a great--"

A rattling noise was coming from the tomb's door and the pair immediately stood. What in Oblivion is it? Hawkeye thought. What greeted them was most unexpected.

A man, an Imperial at first glance, walked out of the tomb cloaked in a black robe with the hood up and carrying a sack over his shoulder. The Imperial stopped in his tracks and stared at Valinus and Hawkeye, who also stared back in a disbelieving stupor.

Finally, the Imperial Legionnaire managed to come to his senses, as did Hawkeye. "You're not in any trouble, sir, but please come with us back to--"

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The Imperial trooper never got to finish his sentence, as Cavortius too regained his senses. He cast a small area-effect Blind spell at the two Legion soldiers, then cast a spell on himself so he could run really fast. It didn't help that he couldn't go around the pair (there was very little room to maneuver), so he barreled between them and knocked them to the ground. The element of surprise had worked for him.

It seems word has finally arrived, Cavortius thought as he sprinted at blinding speed down the road toward Balmora. This adds a whole new spin to things.

But now, he was also a fugitive, for he had just assaulted two Imperial soldiers and resisted arrest. Things weren't looking so good. He would have to be more vigilant from this point forward?and a wardrobe change would also take place.

With any luck, only the Imperial forts and settlements would know of his presence and it would take time before the Dunmer towns caught wind. It was the best he could hope for.
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Jake Easom
 
Posts: 3424
Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:33 am

Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:01 am

I like how the character's personal life is also a large part of the story and it's not just about the quests and the Order.
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Manny(BAKE)
 
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Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:22 pm

I like how the character's personal life is also a large part of the story and it's not just about the quests and the Order.


that's what i'm going for. i did the same thing with my novelization of Oblivion. but thank you!
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Jani Eayon
 
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Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:35 am

A bump for you.
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Paula Ramos
 
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Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:33 pm

thank you. since im gone and not on my normal computer, i would suggest everyone check this out on fanfiction.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4468833/4/The_Illuminated_Order
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Joey Bel
 
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Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:09 pm

bump. i really want feedback on this.
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ImmaTakeYour
 
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Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:37 am

bump. i really want feedback on this.


I read up to chapter 8 on that site. Like I said before, it's great.
Please don't hesitate in writing the rest.
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lolly13
 
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Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:50 am

i shall. rest assured, i shall.
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Ross Zombie
 
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Post » Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:44 am

bump. please, i really need the feedback.
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Kay O'Hara
 
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Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:11 pm

bump again
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Nicole Mark
 
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Post » Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:44 pm

Instead of bumping you could just post another part of the story. It works better than just posting bump.

As for the story itself: It's not bad. You seem to use an unreliable narrator, which is intereting. As for the dialouge....To me (this may be just me) it doesn't seem to flow very well. And I can't really pick up on the protagonist's personality. To me, all the characters have the same voice.
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Ria dell
 
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