I can't wait for the next chapter!!! This could EASILY be a book!! I'm not Joking, you have some serious talent at writing!! Keep it up!!!!!

Aussie, continue writing, please, for the sanity of everyone in this Section!

Ok I know I said a couple of days but I just recently got my xbox back from repairs and I've been playing it almost religiously lol. I'm working on the next chapter now, so in theory it should be up today or tomorrow.

Here's the latest chapter, enjoy.

Chapter 4

This time I woke up with a refreshing droplet of water hitting my face, it was much more of a comfort than getting slapped. I felt a few more before I decided to open my eyes. It was rain, only light but still enough to wake me. I embraced the cool relaxing feel of it, it made my cuts and bruises melt away. I looked around; we were right in the centre of the mall. In between The Capital Building and Washington's memorial. My seat was placed on its side and so was I.

Fortunately I was able to undo my seatbelt without any problems. My body ached as I stood up; my head felt like it had been punched in. I couldn't breathe properly, the crash had taken the wind out of me. I coughed and spluttered as I walked over to the crash site. The vertibird was in ruins, a glorified piece of scrap metal. I looked through the front window of the bird. I could see the pilots and four or five men, I couldn't tell if they were alive or not, so I decided to look for a way in.

There was no way in except through the glass, so I picked up a rock and began to bash on the window. As I was doing so I heard a laugh come from behind me, I turned around to see it was the captain.

"Don't bother." He said as he raised his gun.

I quickly drew my gun and got ready to fire. He laughed again and shot. I closed my eyes and held my breath, waiting to feel the searing burn of the bullet. Instead all I heard was the bullet hitting something behind me. I turned to see that he had shot the glass.

"It's bullet proof." I heard him say.

Sure enough it was, the bullet had only made a pretty dent and nothing more.

"There's no point anyway, they would only slow us down." The captain muttered as he began to walk away.

Usually I would have objected, in my mind at least because I was too scared to say anything, but since we were being pursued by an unstoppable force those people would get everyone killed instead of just a few of us. Reality is a harsh place indeed. There were only 5 of us left, not including me. Everyone was battered and bruised but not to the point where we couldn't walk. We all gathered round the captain as he spoke.

"Yes I know our current situation is looking grim but we must press on and complete our mission. I've tried to radio in to the base but the radio has gone to [censored]. I'm assuming the citadel is going to have a ham radio which we can use to call in reinforcements. So our best chance of survival would be the citadel. From here we shall head past Washington's' memorial and towards Lincolns' memorial. The citadel is located on the opposite side of the river. Don't ask me how we will get across as I'm more worried about getting there. Follow my lead, let's move out."

There was an eerie silence as I followed closely behind the captain. Only the movement of our feet could be heard. I could hear one of the men behind me sobbing away, fear had turned him front a battle weary man into a whimpering boy. Fear of the unknown tends to has that effect. Suddenly I heard the man speak.

"Honey what are you doing out here? It's dangerous."

"Oh God no." I thought as I turned around.

The man was talking to no-one but I knew what was happening. It was the reapers drawing him in. I tried to snap him out of the trance by yelling.

"Stop! Don't leave the group! It's not real, it's the Reapers! Please listen!"

The name 'Reapers' stirred everyone into action. The captain and two other whipped out guns and turned around. The other squad member ran and cowered behind the captain.

The captain spoke to me. "Just leave him we need to get out of here."

"No not this time, I can save him." I replied with a sense of courage.

I began to run towards the man, who by now was walking into the darkness. My plan was to snap him out of it as the captain did for me.

"Yes, yes honey, of course I want to go home with you." The man said as he continued into the darkness.

"NO!" I screamed as I leapt through the air to tackle him.

I made the tackle, wrestling him to the ground. Suddenly the Reaper appeared right in front of us. I was in shock, I had never seen anything like it. I was almost like a shadow, a sort of a tattered cloak with nothing supporting it. The thing was black, dark eternal black, it had what looked like sleeves and at the end of the sleeves it had long skeletal fingers. Reaper was quite the fitting name for the creature, it couldn't even be considered a creature, this thing, it was something else.

I tried pulling the man to safety but he just lay there like a stone, looking at the reaper with a smile on his face. The reaper opened its arms and let out an ear piercing shrill. The noise was unbearable, I had to let go of the man and cover my ears. As I did the Reaper exploded in a burst of shadows. The shadows fired directly at the man next to me and dragged him towards the Reaper. I can't be sure what happened because I'm not even sure what happened myself, it looked like the Reaper just absorbed the man, I could hear the sickening crack of bones break and flesh being ripped open.

I got up and ran. I didn't care that the captain had already left; I didn't care for anything but getting away at that point in time. I ran with tears streaming down my face. I reached the gate to Washington's memorial out of breath. I fell to my knees in a heap; I turned to the side and vomited. I fell to the ground and lay there shaking trying to come to terms with what I had just witnessed.

"Get up you're not allowed to die yet, we still are yet to find this damned vault." I looked up to see the captain's face staring back down.

I couldn't reply so I just stood up. My entire body was shaking but I still managed to mutter.

"Let's go."

I followed the captain and what was left of the men towards what was left of the Lincoln memorial. We reached the river and I could see the citadel. It was so close yet it might have been a million miles away. We had no boat and swimming wasn't an option as the water was the source of the virus.

"What do we do now captain?" I heard one of the men ask.

"Down river there's a boat. We can use that. Don't bother asking let's just get this over and done with." The captain said in a stern voice.

I didn't choose to question or even think about it as I was still distraught. I just followed him towards the boat. One of the men was told how to start it up and drive it. I just decided to immerse myself in the journal.

21/4/2377

Journal Entry 3

By now you have probably assumed I left the vault because of what happened to my wife. You would be wrong. Although I loved her deeply I didn't have what it took to stand up. The vault was the only safe place I knew and I didn't wish to give it up. Ryan made attempted to smooth it over by blaming what had happened on the virus. It was too late everyone knew the truth and wanted Ryan dead.

Ryan barricaded himself in a testing room, he modified the already modified F.E.V that he created and injected it into himself. The virus changed him but not into a Reaper. He was a Reaper of sorts but not like the others, he was almost like the leader of them and could take human form, himself. We managed to lock him outside of the main vault area before he could do any real damage. Ryan announced that he would return one day and turn the rest of us into Reapers, so he could create an army of perfect soldiers.

The brotherhood was scared and leaderless. They started developing cryogenic technology so they preserve themselves until they were found by a worthy force, which could defeat Ryan. I was the only one who wasn't placed in the cryogenic tube. Instead I was sent out to find the worthy force and I was given this journal so I could record what happened just in case I was to die.

Suddenly I felt the boat lurch.

"Sir there's something in the water and oh God...." One of the men shouted as the boat was hoisted into the air.

I fell overboard and into the water. I didn't know how to swim so I struggled to stay a float. I found myself latching onto a piece of wood from the boat, as for the boat it sunk like it was made out of lead. I half drifted, half paddled my way to the shore. I had made it to the citadel but I couldn't see anyone else. I lay there on the shore breathing heavily, gasping for air. I still had the journal in my hand but the water had ruined it. I could no longer read it.

I looked around to see if anyone else made it. That's when I saw the captain come out from the water. At least I wasn't alone.

Very nice fanfic,

good writing, some minor errors detected lore wise.. but really minor so I will not bother you with it..

keep up the good work!

Keep it up,this is very nice.

Thanks guys chapter 5 is in the works :thumbsup:

Sorry for my late reply but...

I'm speechless, this was... Mate, good work, that's all I can say, brought out a lot of emotions. 10/10... Hell, 11/10!

Excellent story. I'm riveted. Can't wait for the next chapter! :goodjob:

Wow.
Just. Wow.

Thats some scary [censored]
My only bit of advice would be to keep the reader in suspense for longer.
For example, its only chapter 4 and we already know exactly what the reapers can do, what they look like, and how they were made.
And we also know why the last brotherhood soldier was out in the wasteland.
So yeh, dont give everything away to soon
Apart from that 5/5

Thanks. Oh and I know you may know everything but that's because the final chapter is coming soon. It also helps develop my story and prepare for the final twist.

Thanks to everyone who has commented so far. I'm happy that people enjoy this so much. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up as I'm on holidays and very busy, so I kindly ask that you be patient. Thanks

This is great. I can't wait for the next chapter.

come on chapter 5!

Ah yes apologies everyone, I have been absolutely swamped lately. I have trial HSC exams coming up, which if your from Australia will understand that they are some what important. Thanks for your patience guys. I can tell you that chapter 5 will be up in an hour or two so hang in there lol.

Here we are as promised Chapter 5. Enjoy everyone. It's very late here so I've only briefly read it, please comment if you find any mistakes. Thanks.

Chapter 5

The journal was ruined, completely soaked and unreadable. All this sacrifice, all this time and effort, all for nothing. I sat there with my head in my hands.

“Get up kid we aren’t done yet.” The captain said as he pulled me up.

I didn’t have the energy to protest, all I did was shut up and follow. The giant steel gate that once protected the brotherhood had been left open. I hardly noticed as I trudged along behind the captain. When we got inside I decided to question the mission.

“Just what are we doing sir? We’ve failed, the journal is destroyed and I’m not even sure that the entrance is actually in here. Let’s just find a radio and call in some transport.”

The captain just ignored me and walked towards a door that led deeper into the building. I sighed and followed him down the stairs. The stairs led down into what seemed like that command centre. We made our way down towards where the famous Liberty Prime once stood. Even I had heard of the legendary machine, although what happened to it remained a mystery. The captain began to frantically search around the lift as if he was looking for something. He began talking to himself, I couldn’t make out what he was saying but I could have sworn I heard him say.

“It’s got to be around here somewhere.”

This puzzled me, so again I questioned him.

“Sir what are you looking for?”

He span around as if he had forgotten I was there. With a serious face and tone to match, he said.

“Just turn the damn thing on boy. Use that computer over there, it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Yes sir.” I said, confused.

He was right, it was easy to activate. I just turned it on and clicked “Power up lift” and it turned on.

“I’m finished sir. What next?” I asked.

“Just shut up and wait.” The captain snapped still searching around for something.

“Ah finally!” he exclaimed.

I heard the push of a button and the ground next to me opened. Out of the hole arose a switch, which raised itself to about waist level. Under switch it read “LIFT DOWN” and above the switch it read “LIFT UP”. The switch was flipped so the lift went up; I assumed that we wanted to go down, so I flipped it. Suddenly lights began to flash and warning sirens blared. The lift where Liberty Prime once stood began to descend into the ground.

“I didn’t tell you to flip the switch, you idiot. Hurry and get on!” the captain yelled, as he made his way quickly towards the lift.

I ran and jumped on almost at the same time the captain made it onto the lift.

“How did you know about this sir?” I asked confused out of my mind.

“Call it a hunch or what ever you want. Just shut up and be on the watch for enemies.” The captain snapped back.

I pulled out my gun and stood there quietly, waiting for the lift to reach it destination. It was a long ride down but when we finally got there it was worth it. I hopped off the lift and walked up to the door of the vault. I was in awe as I put my hand on the doorway. I felt the cold steel it was made out of; it almost felt like ice, it was so cold. The captain looked at me and said.
“Open the door, try one of the brotherhoods name.”

I walked over to the console and typed the name “Ryan Samuels”. The console whirred and buzzed, an “Incorrect password” appeared on the consoles screen. “Two attempts left” it read. I thought about it, it had to be the last man in here’s name because he had to shut the door. I typed in “Matthew Lyons”. Again there was buzzing and whirring, followed by another “Incorrect password”, “One attempt left”. Then it struck me, he must have closed the door but used a different password, so Ryan could never get back in. I typed in “Erin” again there was buzzing and whirring but this time it came up with “Password accepted” and the vault door began to activate.

“I guess the first thing we should do is find a radio and call in reinforcements.” I said to the captain.

He gave a strange look, as if at first he was slightly worried, but eventually a big grin came over his face.

“Yes... reinforcements would do nicely.” He said.

We continued on, deeper into the vault, there was no sign of life anywhere; in fact the vault was almost spotless.

“We should head straight to the Overseers’ office; there should be a radio there and a way to get to the cryogenic labs.” The captain said aloud.

“But sir, why would we need to go to the cryogenic labs? We’re here for the G.E.C.K.” I replied.

“Well, I imagine great things could be done with cryogenics and... um... it would make sense for the G.E.C.K to be in a lab.” He stuttered.

I looked over at the captain he didn’t look to well. “Yes, I suppose that makes sense. Are you feeling ok sir?”

“Yes. I’m fine now get back to the job at hand. Look over there it’s a sign saying the Overseers’ office is in that direction. Follow me.”

I did as I was told and followed closely behind the captain. We made our way through a couple of common rooms and up some stairs. We reached the office without a problem, the door was even unlocked. Maybe there was some luck coming back our way, finally. In the office there was a bunch of terminals and a radio. I hoped our luck hadn’t run short yet, as I tested the radio. It was in perfect working condition, well perfect for a 300 year or about then radio.

I radioed in to base. “Fort Bannister come in, this is the Talon Company Mercenaries reporting in, and we have reached the citadel and found the vault containing the G.E.C.K. We have not found the G.E.C.K as yet but we wish to be reinforced. We’ve received heavy casualties. Over.”

I waited for a moment and sure enough through the crackle of static came through a voice.

“This is Vertibird 113 reporting in. We received an emergency alert when your vertibird went done. The cavalry is on the way. I’ve got a decent bulk of our force heading your way, we have spotted multiple strange creatures heading to your position, so be on the alert.”

“Damn, the reapers are on their way.” I thought.

The pilot continued on. “It’s good to hear a few of you survived the crash. We didn’t think you would make it without the captain. Over”

His statement confused me. “What do you mean we wouldn’t make it without the captain? He’s right here. In fact it’s just me and him. Over”

There was another short pause before the pilots voice crackled through again.

“Say again. It sounded like you said the captain is with you, but that isn’t possible, we found his body in the crashed vertibird. He’s dead. Over.”

I felt a cold chill travel down my spine. I turned around to see the captain with a big smile on his face.

“I guess it was only a matter of time before you found out.” The captain said, still with the huge grin across his face.

“W-Who are you? What are you?” I managed to stutter.

This is great. I feel like I'm watching a movie. The suspense is killing me. I just finished chapter 5, but I can't wait for more.

Thanks. I will be making a chapter 6 soon in the mean time I could use some comments. B)

hey, by the way, you need to work a bit on your punctuation, especially commas.

I.E

“Damn the reapers are on their way.” should be "Damn, the reapers are on their way."

other than that, amazing job.

Commas have always been my weak point. Thanks for pointing that out. I'm glad your enjoying the story.

I'm pretty sure that's the correct form.

Lol your right. Thank you.

im more of a content type of guy, you should see my handwriting, so from my point of view

THAT WAS [censored] AMAZING, NICE JOB

Moderator: That was avoiding the autocensor - don't do it.

Good work, Aussie. I'm very interested in the story. Only some minor grammar errors, but for the main part the story was well done and I cannot wait for Chapter 6. Though I had a feeling for a while that the Captain . Another well done Chapter, friend.

As soon the captain knew everything in the citadel... that was a great hint it was in fact not the captain. To bad you are writing a short story, this story deserves to be longer... so you could have kept everyone longer in the dark about it.

and... I love it, only downside is: we are reaching the end... but now I want to know the end.... give us more!!!!!