Oh my GOD, this story is like a drug! I've been totally hooked for the last 3 days! I've just finished and I'm already feeling withdrawal symptoms. Please tell me there's more on the way! Do you have any other stories I can read? I love your style, everything is so vivid. I haven't felt like I was truly transported into a book in forever. Please, please, PLEASE keep up the awesome work! :drool:

10 days after I get the heads up from you, im reading it. Im so great at remembering things.

Looks like Nenya and Bomba are on to something! The only problem is they're too far away from giving Morgiah their intel!

The flash back at the end was probably one of the most power pieces i've read from you. The amount of imagery; the way you described Nenya's composition and Caius' state was being portrayed in my mind like I was watching a movie. It was incredible...just incredible.

I wonder what "mutual interests" Nenya and Solon were associated with.

Keep em comming! :hehe:

This is well-deserving of a bump.

I haven't been around here very long, so it would be unfair to say "best fan-fic ever", but I can honestly say this is one of the most entertaining things I've read in the past few months. Bravo.

I'm a writer myself, and personally I like to get feedback that goes beyond simply "Awesome!" or "Terrible!" so I'm cruising through it again to see if I can find some specific notes...

Okay. Love your version of King of Worms. I always pictured KoW and Scourg Barrow as less "king" and more "worms", so I was pleasantly surprised you went in kind of a royal court direction with it. It adds new layers to the character that I quite like.

The scene with Caius and corpus-Nenya is absolutely beautiful. I love that you show the physical effects of corpus (I was always bummed that my paper doll in Morrowind didn't start growing face tentacles.) You have a real knack, with lines like "A nightmare tumbled into the house." of saying a lot with very little. My own style is anything but concise, so I am definitely envious of your ability to do so much so quickly. If I had any criticism, in fact, it would be that some scenes might go by a little TOO quickly. It's wonderfully written, and I'm never left confused about what's going on, but you write characters so well I would love to see them breathe a little more. (Then again, this might just be a consequence of the choppy nature of reading something on a forum.) Again, it's not really a criticism, I just want more

One of the best tests when writing fictional characters is to imagine any two of them stuck alone in a room together and see if a situation immediately forms in your mind. If you immediately know what each one would be doing, you've got great characters. This passes that test with flying colors. Each and every character feels like a real person, with real motivations and a real personality. I've been fortunate/unfortunate enough to take a lot of writing classes, and these days it seems like teachers are all about story springing from form and structure instead of character. I've always felt that if you have your characters, you have your story, and your writing here is amazing proof of that. My favorite relationship is probably that of Caius and Nenya. I always got the feeling in MW that Caius didn't like me very much, and so to see how much you have him care about Nenya is a lovely idea. You have an incredible knack for turning all these characters, who were somewhat one-dimensional in the games, into fully realized people

Okay, well, that went long. Two more nitpicks before I go (don't hate me). In chapter one, you say Helseth is glad Barenziah isn't "back in wayrest with his own hated half-sister"--Elysana is his step sister, yes? And in chapter 17, you mention "King Lysander" of Daggerfall--it's King Lysandus, but the name Lysander is splendid as well

Short version: It's been an absolute privilege to read this. Greg Keyes has nothing on you. Can't wait for more.

Thanks a million, Foxy! And you know what - I'm a hopeless romantic too. I try to keep it toned down as much as I can, but honestly, sometimes I just can't help it I actually never meant for Caius and Nenya to get this far. It was always meant to be subtle. But these characters, I swear, they have a will of their own.

The Caius/Nenya plotline was something I didn't expect to go down well (after all, she is half his age and some people might say it's unhealthy). I'm hugely pleasantly surprised to see people reacting so well to it.


:lol: Praise indeed! Thanks so much for your kind words. Yep, there is much more - nearly 30,000 words more at the moment! It's mostly the ending, though. The middle is the bit I have trouble with.

I don't actually have any other Elder Scrolls stories, although maybe one day I'll start something new. I feel like it's a miracle I'm actually getting on well with this one... it's been struggling out into the world for nearly six years now. Oh my god, my life


I svck at remembering things - I should have checked this ages ago. I have a pathological fear of not thanking people That said - thanks so much for the comments, I'm thrilled you're still enjoying it!


Ok, wow. This is some serious concrit. I honestly can't thank you enough for your generosity of time in writing this.

Yep, I was looking forward to my character getting all blotchy and zombielike too - I suppose you could say that the PC didn't actually have Corprus long enough to manifest symptoms, but it's still a shame. I did like how everyone acted like they would rather eat their own heads than be in the same room as you, though. That was pretty cool :hehe: It's the small things that matter!

I'm interested that you thought some bits were too fast, because I actually think I tend to waffle on for far too long and need to par my writing down a bit! It's good sometimes to get a different perspective. Obviously in this case, paring down is not what I actually needed at all! I admit it gets more actiony towards the end, but since you've said, I'll give myself freer reign when rambling on with characters ^_^ And by the way, I completely agree about character-driven fiction. It's what interests me as a reader, so that's how I write. I love a good twisty plot, but if I'm reading good characters, I find I can forgive even the dullest of storylines.

As for your nitpicks - thanks a million! I'm always making slipups. I will go back and change them straight away

Once again, I can't thank you enough for your extremely kind words. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I've been enjoying writing it!

If there is anyone able to provoke Helseth, that would be his mother. I almost feel sorry for the guy.

A woman Nerevarine. A girl, even. Didn't see it coming. I like that I didn't see it coming.

Nenya somehow reminds me of Starbuck.

I like the way you make Barenziah look like this ever calm ocean. Quiet, yet formidable.
I don't know Morgiah as I've never played Daggerfall.

Battlestar Galactica rocks almost as much as this story. I haven't seen the second half of season 4 though so don't mention that section, lol, waiting for the DVD because I have no time for television. I'd make time if "The King and I" were a show though, and then I'd also buy the DVD :nod:.

In most cases it's always a good instinct to try to make things shorter. You'll probably find that the more your write, the more difficult it becomes to keep things brief. When I was little, I always marveled that anyone could ever write something so long as novel. Now I'm lucky if I can squeeze a story of a man waiting for a bus into 200 pages! How much to cut out/leave in is something a lot of writers struggle with their whole lives, and there aren't any easy answers. But I can tell from your story and your comments that your characters are asking for just a bit more breathing room, and in those situations I've always found it's better to let them get what they want

Can't wait to see where the story goes next!

"...The Caius/Nenya plotline was something I didn't expect to go down well (after all, she is half his age and some people might say it's unhealthy)..."

Considering that I'm just over the half century mark and my girlfriend is under half my age I don't think that's unhealthy at all, but then I am, of course, biased. Ah well. Better biased than bastard.

Thanks a lot everyone, you are amazing as always! I've had a busy couple of weeks so not much writing going on, but I'll make time in the next few days. Thanks so much for your comments and support, it means the world to me!

Foxy, I think I misspoke - I didn't mean that an age difference in a relationship is necessarily unhealthy. The "unhealthy" bit was mainly a reference to how vulnerable Nenya would have been when she met Caius, and some people might consider that a bad base to form a relationship from. But of course, you have to decide for yourself as the story goes on.

This isn't a chapter update - I'm moving out of my flat this week and I've been up to my eyeballs in things to do - but I have these pictures on my harddrive from a while ago, so I thought some of you might be interested in them. So, without further ado...

Caius!
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t22/Rumple_teasza/Caius%20and%20Crassius/Caius3.jpg
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t22/Rumple_teasza/Caius%20and%20Crassius/Caius1.jpg
Doing what he does best... getting drunk. Or stoned. http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t22/Rumple_teasza/Caius%20and%20Crassius/Caius2.jpg

Crassius!
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t22/Rumple_teasza/Caius%20and%20Crassius/Crassius1.jpg
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t22/Rumple_teasza/Caius%20and%20Crassius/Crassius2.jpg
Seriously... http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t22/Rumple_teasza/Caius%20and%20Crassius/Crassius.jpg It freaks me out, dumpling.

And finally... the King of Worms is trying his very, very best to http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t22/Rumple_teasza/King%20of%20Worms/K_o_W.jpg

I'll be moving on with my writing in the next couple of weeks

First...I like the pics.

Why?

Caius is more than I imaqined him here, with a sharper, leaner expression...BTW I love the peanut-shape of his bald head, I don't know why. I hate baldies, usually.

As for Crassius, you've made him look young and lecherous - hmmm. In my imagination he is OLD and lecherous, but nothing in the text - except for the 'uncle' bit - says he is as old (as, perhaps, yours truly ) so he COULD look just like you've done him...and you've got his clothes, style 'flashy just short of vulgar' spot on.

As for the King of Worms - fairly conventional. But for this character it's so easy to go OTT that this characterization, perhaps, works best.

Me: "Yay, an update from rumpleteaza." :twirl:

Me:"Awww, crap.."

Btw, loving your mods, can't help but thinking that it looks a LOT like Oblivion.

Rumpleteasza!!!!! Hope you are well,

I check this forum everyday to see if there is an update on your story.
Every time I check and there isn't one I die a little inside...... :shakehead:

I absolutely love your story and can't wait for the next update! Take care!

Rumpleteaza is perfectly well...I think...she just celebrated her 25th birthday. Wish her well, constant readers, and hope she doesn't have a hangover today!

congratulations!

Grats, Rumples! Now get back to work on "The King and I!" Just kidding... sort of

I feel horrible. I've seen there were updates once or twice on this fanfic over the course of the college semesters... but I haven't had the time or energy or desire to read things or keep up with the forums, so I fell behind.

I feel like I neglected a family pet or something... I'll try to catch up Rumple! If I can even remember where I left off...

Bugger... I've even been neglecting my own fanfic.

Just realized my story and yours have two similar characters. Nenya is a smallish Nord, wielding weapons that are larger than herself. So is Eynar. Strange... But Eynar still behaves rather childishly while Nenya acts like a timid teenager.

Dearest Rumpie, where o where art thou?
Methinks you'd have posted here by now,
Or has the strain of celebrating birthday twenty-five
Drained all creative juices by which writing thrives?

Shall not we hear more of machinations by Helseth
Or whether Nenya and Caius were really well-met?
How fares the dark plans of the King of Worms
In the tangles of your Story's twists and turns?

And what of many other characters living and breathing
in that tale that truly has been long-a-breeding?
Must they be doomed to ever lie in that dank dungeon
of unfinished stories - if so, I'll get a truncheon -

And smack away whatever's throttling that muse of yours
And chase away the block that makes writers to pause
in midst of story - nay, nay, return to wit and glory!
For if you stop now, many will be sad...and sorry.

:lol:

The expression goes that every cloud has a silver lining, which I always thought a bit strange, because surely that would weigh the cloud down and it would no longer float. Anyway, this cloud (a long enforced absence) certainly has a lining of some precious glittering substance. Namely there's more of it to read!

The scenes between Bomba and Nenya are a delight, with two moments springing immediately to mind. First the, dare I say it (though I wouldn't dare say it to her face!), sensitive side of Nenya, upon seeing Bomba's reaction to her disposing of the Goblin raiding party. That was beautifully written, and my image of her face at that instant was crystal clear in my mind. A face rendered torn in a frozen second between the bloodlust of the fearsome warrior, and the scared woman desperately hoping not to have lost her friend's approval and respect. I found that extremely moving, and had to pause after reading for a moment, before continuing. The second moment was far lighter, and demonstrated the humour that was one of the elements that so dragged me into this story so many years ago. The scene of etiquette and manners between Gortwog, Jez?hk and Bomba was played pitch perfect, and the comedic contrast that Nenya offered was spot on. She catches a lot more than people realise, doesn't she? The last two lines of that scene,

"Maybe if you butter him up just a little more, he'll put you in a room next to Jez?hk," Nenya whispered dryly.
She was rubbing her ribs from the consequent elbow-attack all the way down the hall."

had me chuckling out loud, and in truth I'd never really considered myself to be the chuckling type. I was actually quite disturbed by this, but moving on...

I'm also (being ever aware of the author's delightfully devious and creative mind) musing more and more about the links between the events taking place in the old Corprusarium at Tel Fyr, and the emotional flashback with Nenya and Caius upon discovering that she had caught the disease. Not only did the scene provide ample opportunity for further character development for Caius, it brought to my memory the running around the Corprusarium looking in those treasure chests. I wonder if Nenya did the same after her cure. She'd certainly know all the nooks and crannies if she did.

Final thought, before this becomes ridiculously long (and long winded). I still haven't come up with a better anology for this than the chess match, and with all the different players taking part it's a scary task to try to second guess the author. Especially with this author. I have to say though; I'm starting to think that Morgiah may be a much stronger player than I'd anticipated. She's still not quite there, but the speed in which she anolyses events and reacts is becoming more and more impressive.

As always, your work is a delight to read, and I look forward to the next instalment with great anticipation.

p.s. I still hate the obviously cute as a button, wide and sweet eyed Elysana. She's shaping up to be a villain and a half; I do so hope she receives a quite disturbingly horrible comeuppance.

Woooo! Lucky me! I haven't checked on this story for 2 months and no progress has been made! :hehe:

Well, Rumple Dee Dumple, I looked at your Oblivion images of Coscades and Curio. Even though their ages were portrayed in Morrowind, I really like your take on them. They match up with a young strapping Nenya a lot better this way.

I managed to whip up http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a328/Mikeandike1/Uncle_Crassius.jpg. Its more of a Morrowind traditional look, but hes got a pencil thin moustache and a little bit of eye shadow. Just by his manerisms in Morrowind, you get the vibe that he could be a midnight drag queen....but with a mix of your fiction, he takes on a more manly role.

I think I might do Scourg Barrow next.

Keep er... something? comming!

Alas, she has left us.
Alas, all seems lost.
Alas, for the prospectus
of a well-concluded plot...

Yes, I too have sinned and sinned
in leaving a plotline dangling
A Sin that now seems twinned
by Ms Teaza's tardy standing...

WHERE IS THE STORY THOU PROMISED?
Thou has not posted. O, shame!
I am frankly quite astonished
I thought not thy pen was that lame...

O, pity the poor readers, do,
have mercy on their hungry minds
the loyal fans, your reading crew
await new posts - your really should be kind...

So Ms Teaze-a O, O, Please-a
Post more, O do, for a Mr. Dee-a
Foxy eees-a boiling weeth hung-a
to read thees Serial's next num-bah!!!!

Don't scare me like that. When I first glimpsed at this lament I thought someone had died.

Thats enough outta' you. :stare: