"Ahh Damn It" Jack said.
"What?" Jimmy said to Jack.
"Look!" Jack said pointing out the window, reaching for his holster pistol.
"[censored]!" Jimmy said seeing 10 Feral ghouls running through thick dust storm.
Jack fires a round of at the Ghouls. Jimmy ran to Lockers and grabbed out a
Chinese Assault Rifle, He went back to the window and fired of a round. A
bullet hit a Ghouls in the arm the Impact tearing it off a killing the ghoul.
Jack reloaded his gun and Jimmy did the same. They kept on firing until they
all were gone or atleast in bits.
"Survived another my friends!" An old voice comes from the Intercom.
"Who the hell are you!" Jack screamed. They heard an explosion and then the
House caught on fire and blew up around places. They ran for the door and ju-
mped out the door. But derbis fell and crushed Jimmy.
"Oh My God, They Killed Ken...JIMMY!" Jack yelled.
"What happened?"

Ok, first off, way too short. Secondly, the achievement is "Last, best hope of humanity". Thirdly, where the hell are they? Fourthly, who the hell are they? Fifthly, the font and continuos changing of lines was pretty hard to read.

1ST, WIP = Work In Progress not yet finished, 2ndI have the achievement I just dont memorize them, Third & Fourthly, Like on South Park OMG They Killed Kenny. 5th Agreed.

I know what a WIP is, just seems like short for even an installment/chapter. And how the hell does a South Park quote answer my 3rd and 4th questions?

Review in less than 3 words:

Pretty awful.

... I'm sorry but I have to agree with ThatOneNwah, normally I'm optimistic but... I'm sorry this is just to short, boring and I'm afraid to say, pretty awful.

I was trying to be nice and point out its main flaws...

...but I'm agreeing with the others.

Yeah i got to agree with everyone else here. It was just too short, and why would someone reload after shooting 1 bullet? The story was overall, really choppy to follow, and regarding the southpark comment....I watch southpark ALL the time, and i still didn't make that connection so....And i can't tell if that was a meager attempt to put humor in an overall serious story.

Moderator note in two words: Constructive criticism.

How about instead of spamming with a unhelpful reply you put your knowledge of writing to use and give a helpful and in depth reply that is going to be of value to the OP?