This is my first attempt at a fan fic. I only have the prologue right now, but it is kinda long. I would love criticism. I want to make sure I take the story in the right direction, so that people will like it.

The Lone Soldier

Prologue
December 15, 2277
Alexandria Arms
0500 Hours

"Damn it, Harris, wake up!" Yelled Sergeant John Kendrick, his scream causing Private Jake Harris to tumble out of bed.

"Sir, Yes, Sir," said Harris, clearly still sleeping on his feet.

"Private, need I remind you that we are in enemy territory," said Kendrick now with a calmer demeanor, "And every time I have to yell at you I risk giving away our position to the enemy."

"Sir, I'm sorry, Sir," said Harris now more alert. "It won't happen again." And with that, Harris saluted, and began preparing for the battle that would come later that day.

Sergeant John Kendrick was a mountain of a man. He was 6'5", and weighed a good 270 pounds, and that's without his bulky Tesla Armor. As expected, the Sergeant didn't put up with insubordination. He would not tolerate an unruly squad. And, except for the rare occasion, his squad was one of the most deadly, efficient squads in the whole STF, or Special Task Force. The STF was the Enclave's equivalent of the Pre-War Navy Seals. They were small squads, but could take on much more than your average soldiers.

Sergeant Kendrick was the leader of the smallest STF squad. STF squad Sierra Bravo consisted of Sergeant John Kendrick, Private Jake Harris, and Corporal Nick Baker. Though it was only a three man squad, Sierra Bravo could take down enemies that outnumbered them 20-1. They used any resources available to ensure a victory for the Enclave.

"Baker, you ready for the assault," asked Kendrick.

"I've been ready," said Baker stoically. "I cherish any chance I get to take out some BOS rejects."

Baker wasn't quite as big as the Sarge, but he was more than capable to keep up. Baker was 6"2 even, and was roughly 235 pounds of solid muscle. His brown hair nearly shaved completely off. His sole less grey eyes could pierce a hole straight through someone if he was angry enough. Baker was known to follow orders with the utmost efficiency. He was 27 years old, and in all his time in the Enclave, he had never received a reprimand.

"Gentlemen," said Kendrick, "We have one objective. We are to remove every single soldier occupying the Arlington Library. We are to apprehend the scribes. When we take the building, we will radio the base, and a Vertibird will be sent to our location. Until they arrive, we will hold our position no matter what the Brotherhood throws at us. Any Questions?"

"Sir, no, Sir" shouted Harris and Baker in unison.

It was still very early, but the Tesla Armor made the low light levels outside pointless. Kendrick led his squad out the front door of the Alexandria Arms. He could see the BOS sentries in front of the library just to the south. He motioned for Harris to stay back. Harris carried one of the rare gauss rifles. He could easily pick off the two BOS soldiers guarding the door. As Kendrick and Baker got in position behind an old truck, Harris fired with deadly accuracy. The first soldiers head was ripped clean off.

As soon as the shot was fired, Sierra Bravo was on the move. The battle had to happen fast. Kendrick liked to take his enemies out before they even knew what was happening. The second BOS soldier fired on Harris, but this was a fatal mistake. Kendrick jumped at the soldier and ripped his helmet off, and Baker fired his AER9 Laser Rifle. The red beam hit the BOS Knight squarely between his eyes. Harris and Baker moved to opposite sides of the front door as Kendrick kicked it open.

The Sergeant dove out of the way as a flood of bullets came flying out the door. Simultaneously, Baker and Harris threw two Plasma grenades through the door. The stream of bullets suddenly stopped, as the BOS soldiers noticed the grenades. A huge green explosion erupted from within, and all the soldiers in the main lobby were gone. Sierra Bravo moved swiftly through the door, but were met with no resistance. They moved cautiously from room to room, but could find no more enemies. As they moved to the second floor, a grenade came rolling down the steps. In one motion, Kendrick picked up the grenade and threw t back up the steps.

Baker moved up the steps and found a lone BOS soldier lying dead on the floor. "Sir, we're all clear," said Baker.

Kendrick and Harris quickly followed up the steps. The Sergeant noticed a set of doors and the end of the hallway.

"Harris, move to the doors," said Kendrick, "On my mark, open them and get the hell out of the way."

Harris crept forward and reached the doors. He was sweating profusely. He knew this had to be where the rest of the soldiers were hiding. He was afraid, but he wasn't going to go against Kendrick's orders. Kendrick opened the door, but as he tried to get to the side, he tripped right in the middle of the hall. Just as Kendrick looked up at the Sarge, a grenade landed right next to his arm. Harris tried to roll away, but he had no time. Baker and Kendrick ducked into rooms on opposite sides of the hall. The explosion rocked the building. The Sarge peaked around the door, but he knew Harris was gone.

He could see the remaining BOS soldiers. There were five soldiers and a scribe holed up in a small room. The Sarge flew into a rage, and rushed into the room. Baker ran in behind him, and in a matter of seconds, the soldiers were dead. Baker took a couple shots to the shoulder, but his Tesla Armor was more than capable of keeping him unharmed.

"Sir, we took 'em all out," shouted Baker, "The building is ours."

Kendrick slowly took off his helmet and dropped it to the floor. "We haven't killed all of them yet," said Kendrick in a frightening, yet soft tone. He was looking at the woman cowering in the corner. "Kill her Baker"

"But sir, we're supposed to take the scribes alive," said Baker.

"You are to follow any order I give," yelled Kendrick. "Now, KILL HER!"

"Sir, no Sir" said Baker, his voice shaking.

"Baker, I will not suffer your insubordination," said Kendrick. "These bastards killed Harris. I want them all dead. So either you kill her, or I kill her and you."

In the confusion of the argument, Baker and Kendrick had not noticed the scribe. The scribe grabbed a 10mm pistol from the holster of one of the dead BOS Paladins. The next few seconds were a blur. The scribe shot Kendrick in the back of the head, and Baker shot her in the chest.

Baker didn't know what to do. He fell to his knees next to the sergeant, he grabbed his stimpacks, but he knew that Kendrick was gone. He also knew that he was in serious trouble. The helmets his squad was wearing were fitted with radio transmitters. That way they could easily keep contact with the base. Had Kendrick not taken off his helmet, the radio operators at the base would have known he was acting purely off of rage. Unfortunately for Baker, the situation was going to look like his fault.

Baker walked slowly back to the front of the building. He could hear the Vertibird landing outside. When he opened that front door, he was met with a grim sight. He saw five Enclave soldiers with their plasma rifles pointing at him.

"Your sergeant's suit has gone offline," said one of the soldiers. The Tesla suits could check soldier's vital signs. If someone died, the Enclave would know. "Corporal Nick Baker, you are under arrest for disobeying a direct order from your commanding officer."

Hey, I liked it. Pretty good. I'm wondering how he's going to get out of this situation. Keep it up.

I already have his way out planned, but I haven't wrote anymore yet. I'm going to play along with this character. It helps me write better when I experience it. Thanks for the comment. I'll have chapter one soon. Hopefully tonight, but it may be tomorrow.

Very well done, I enjoyed the story. It was actually well done for an intro and did a great job at blending in action to keep the reader interested while some back story to help the reader understand as to what was going on. I'll be watching this story develop closely. Good luck on the next chapter!

Thank you very much. Your fan fic helped me out a lot. I am anxious for your story to continue as well.

Chapter 1

December 21, 2277
Raven Rock
1200 Hours

Corporal Baker had been locked in his holding cell for nearly a week. The cells in Raven Rock were not a pleasant place to be. There wasn't any furniture. There was nothing that would make a prisoner feel comfortable. Nothing but cold steel all around.

Baker had sat there with nothing but his thoughts to keep him occupied. He could only replay the events in his head over and over. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Harris being blown to pieces. He saw Sergeant Kendrick suddenly drop to the floor. He saw that scribe holding a smoking gun.

"How could I do this," Baker thought to himself. "I chose a civilian, a BOS scribe none the less, over the order of my sergeant??..over my friend. And for what, I just had to kill her in the end. The whole situation was for nothing."

Other than the guards who brought his food, he had seen no one since he was thrown in his cell. The guards never said a word. They threw his food down and walked out. They didn't even acknowledge he was there.

"I can't take this anymore," thought Baker. "Why can't they just decide my fate? Why can't they just end this? I can't stay alone in this cell anymore."

Baker began screaming as loud as he could. "Let me out of here!" screamed Baker, "Let me the hell out of this damn cell!"

Just then, a group of soldiers ran into the cell. There were three of them, all in their civilian fatigues. The time Baker had spent in that cell had driven him crazy. He was ready to take out some frustration.

The first man that grabbed Baker was quickly subdued. Baker grabbed his arm and flipped him straight into the wall. Just as Baker let go of him, the second man was right at Baker's back. Baker threw a quick, hard elbow that landed right under the man's chin. With teeth and blood flying, the man hit the floor with a thud. The third man tried to get away, but Baker as ready. He grabbed the man by the back of the head and slammed his face into the wall. He had knocked him out cold. Baker then turned around to face the door. At that very moment, all Baker saw was the butt of a laser rifle coming straight at his face. Everything went black.

"Damn it Harris, wake up," Baker could hear Sergeant Kendrick yelling at Private Harris.

Baker laughed when he saw Harris fall out of bed. Harris may have been clumsy, but he was reliable in battle.

"Did you hear me," Baker heard again. "I said wake up Corporal!"

Baker opened his eyes just in time to see a fist flying at his face. The man's fist struck hard on Baker's head, quickly bringing him back to reality.

"Son, you will do as I say," said the man. "I hope I don't have to hit you again, but I will if you do not salute your superior."

Baker still couldn't quite see, but he knew who was talking to him. "Colonel Autumn, Sir," stammered Baker, "I can't salute. My hands are cuffed behind my chair."

Autumn's fist came down with much more force this time, knocking out one of Baker's teeth. "Do you really think I don't know that" yelled Autumn. "I cuffed you because you can't be trusted."

"Sir," said Baker, "I apologize for my actions in the cell. I was a little?.."

Baker couldn't finish his sentence. Colonel Autumn's fist landed again, this time in Baker's gut. As Baker gasped for air, Autumn slapped him across the face.

"I did not ask you to speak," said Autumn. "Now, let's get down to business, shall we?"

Colonel Autumn set down at a desk across from Baker's chair. "You disobeyed a direct order from your CO. Your insubordination led to his death, and likely the death of Private Harris as well. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Colonel Autumn," said Baker, "I was following your orders sir. We were not supposed to harm the scribes."

Baker felt a knee connect with his ribs. A soldier he had not yet noticed was standing at his side. He was dressed in a full suit of Power Armor. The Armor made the impact much worse.

"I'm not interested in your side of the story Baker," said Autumn. "As far as I am concerned, your fate is sealed. Corporal Nicholas Baker, for your insubordination that led to the deaths of your squad mates and the failure of your mission, you have been sentenced to death."

"Death," yelled Baker, "Sir, isn't that??" The Enclave soldier threw two fists straight into Baker's face, sending his chair toppling over.

"Get him up," said Autumn, "Take him?.." Just as the Colonel tried to give the order, a familiar voice rang over the intercom.

"I'm sorry Colonel," said President Eden, "But I must interject."

"But sir," said Autumn, "I have the situation under control."

"The situation is no longer yours to control," said Eden. "Take the boy to the infirmary. Get him patched up."

"Yes sir," said Colonel Autumn with obvious disdain for the President's orders.

"And one more thing Colonel," said President Eden, "I need to speak with you. Get up here right away."

All these new fanfics popping up make me want to make my own ><

Great story, from a pretty cool perspective most other stories don't use. Needless to say, I like it a lot.

Thank you, I'm glad people actually want to read what I write.

Nicely done and great ability to use very well done detail. Wish my story had the type of details that you use. Another well done chapter.

Thanks for the compliment. I think your story has great detail by the way.

Here is the second chapter. It's not action oriented. This chapter really tells you what the story is about.

Chapter 2

December 22, 2277
Raven Rock
0730 Hours

"I can't believe they actually let me sleep in my own bunk last night," Baker thought as he woke up from a painful night's sleep. As he sat up it was clear that he was in serious pain. His face swollen and bruised, his abdomen wrapped up to support his broken ribs, both reminders of the beat down from the Colonel and his guard.

"Who did Autumn think he was?" thought Baker, "We are the Enclave. We are not barbaric. We aren't the Talon Company."

While the Enclave did have a vicious reputation, Baker knew that everything they did was for the benefit of America, for the benefit of the world. Baker thought about that for many years. He wondered why everyone wanted to live in the lawless hell that was the wasteland. While the Brotherhood claimed to be helping the citizens, their true focus was now on the Enclave. The BOS wanted the Enclave to be gone, and why, because they feel threatened?

"No one else is any better than the Brotherhood," Baker thought. "The Talon Company continues to do unspeakable acts as long as they get paid. The raiders murder anyone they see, allies and enemies alike. Slavery has returned after centuries of being abolished. Why? Why must we live in such hell? I won't stand for it. I was born Enclave, and I will die Enclave. No, I will die a soldier in the United States Military."

"On your feet," said Captain Hank Richards. "You've got a meeting at 0800 hours."
"Sir, yes sir," said Baker as he sprang to his feet and saluted the Captain. "Captain, sir, who am I meeting?"

"You don't need to worry about that just yet," said the Captain. "All you need to do is put on your armor and follow me."

Baker quickly put on his suit of Tesla armor. He hadn't put it on since the day of the failed mission. He did his best to keep his mind on something else. He noticed a scar on the Captains face, and that helped him get his mind on something else.

Captain Richards was a very well decorated soldier. He fought on the west coast in his earlier years, but was sent to Raven Rock three years ago. He was brought in for his expert military strategies. He was only 5'10", but the wear and tear from the years made him a frightening man.

"Sir," said Baker as they walked through the halls of Raven Rock, "If I may ask, how did you get that scar on your face."

Captain Richards spun around quickly, and slammed Baker against the wall. "Boy, I know what you did," said Richards, "And if you were in my unit, I would've put an end to you a long time ago. Oh, yeah, I did have a question for you."

"What's that," said Baker, struggling to get the Captain out of his face.

"How are those ribs," laughed Richards. "I hope I didn't hurt you too much. Now, if you're done with the questions, let's get moving."

Richards let go of Baker and began walking down the hall. Nick followed close behind, but he was obviously angry at the Captain.

"That's the Son of a [censored] who broke my ribs," Baker thought angrily to himself. "I'll get you back you bastard. I will get you back."

The Captain stopped in front of a large door. In the time after the confrontation with Richards, Baker hadn't been paying attention to where they were headed. He had never been to this part of Raven Rock.

"Get your ass through that door and up the stairs," shouted Captain Richards. "Colonel Autumn will be waiting."

As Baker walked past Richards, he gave the Captain a stiff bump with his shoulder, nearly knocking the captain down.

"You little Mother Fu," said the Captain as the door closed behind Baker.
Baker could see the steps he was supposed to go up, but he saw something else that was slightly odd. He saw wires and other tech going stories up in the center of the room. "What is that," Baker thought to himself.

Though he was confused as to why he was meeting the Colonel her, he shrugged it off and went up the steps. When he reached the top he saw Colonel Augustus Autumn standing in front of a large computer mainframe. Baker saluted the Colonel despite the events that occurred the day before.

"No need for formalities with me," said Augustus, "I am not the superior here."

"But, what do you mean," asked Baker, clearly puzzled. "We're the only people here."

"Now, don't forget about me my dear boy," said President Eden.

"Oh my God," exclaimed Baker, "You're a ZAX computer. The President is a computer?"

"My, aren't you quite perceptive," said Eden, "When other people meet me for the first time, they think I'm speaking through the computer."

"You are a computer," said Baker, still clearly puzzled.

"Yes, my boy, I am aware of that," said Eden, "If this is a problem, then you may not be the person I thought you were."

"Sir, I'm sorry sir," said Baker regaining his composure. "I was just a little in shock. It is an honor to meet you sir. I have dreamed of this day for many years. It just turned out a little different than I expected."

"Yes, most people are shocked to find out my secret," said Eden, "But they get past it. Anyway, to the business at hand, you have gotten yourself into quite a mess. The simple fact of the matter is you broke the law. Despite what your intentions may have been, your Sergeant's word is law when in the battlefield. You should never refuse an order from your squad leader."

"While I do not condone your actions," said the President, "I am also more forgiving than the good Colonel. You are one of the most decorated STF soldiers we have, and it would be foolish to waste your talents. I also agree with the Colonel that you should be punished."

"Sir," said Baker, "Any punishment you issue will be a just one. I will follow your orders until I no longer breathe."

"You are a commendable soldier," said Eden. "It saddens me that this had to happen, but it did happen, and you must be punished. Baker you will be promoted to the rank of Sergeant."

"Sir, I don't understand," said Baker, clearly confused.

"You will be the Sergeant of your own squad," said Eden, "You will run covert missions into the heavily contested D.C. Ruins."

"I can do it Sir," exclaimed Baker, who saluted the President.

"Don't be so sure Sergeant," said Colonel Autumn, who was noticeably absent from the conversation until now. "You haven't heard who your squad will be yet."

"Is there something different about my squad, Sir," said Baker.

"Yes," said Autumn with a sinister smile on his face, "You will be commanding the STF squad, Echo Foxtrot. The squad will consist of you, and only you."

wow i'm a Bos fan but this story really puts the enclave into perspective, good work

Nice new chapter, friend. Keep it up!

Not sure if people are really interested or not, but I am planning my next chapter. I had a bit of a bad day yesterday, and I've got writer's block. I'm trying to figure out the next chapter though. So if anyone is interested in my story, it will continue.

yeah bro definately interested, keep writing, and take your time. if you have writers block is their much point in stuglling through? i find things that i write after struggleing with are usually worse. although that is in terms of philosophy essays rather than a fiction. any ways just a bit of advice dont know if it will be useful or not. and to keep ypur spirits up looking forward to the next chapter.

Ugh, not another Enclave fanfic. I'm not trying to be offensive or flame, but we already have 274 Enclave fanfics. And they all get old and bland. Just putting that out there. This has great spelling, puncuation, story.. But the Enclave part is just unoriginal. I wished you had chose something else.

What other Enclave Fan Fictions are out there right now other than mine, Eden's Pawn and DB's? I see none. Links? I'd love to read them. You said there's 274. Come on man, lighten up. It's just a Fan Fiction.

On an unrelated note: DB continue to write the story. The last chapter was interesting. How do you plan to do the combat in the story when your character is alone? Stealth?

That is good advice, and I agree. I have gotten my mind back to a more serene state, so I'm thinking much more clearly. I'm definetly not going to rush. Thanks for the advice.

anunknownghoul, or whatever your name is - All I can really say to you is thanks for the compliments on the writing, but if you don't like the subject, don't read it. I'm going for the rebuilding America story, and the Enclave seemed like the best group for that. If you are really interested in my writing, I will eventually do a non Enclave story, so be patient.

Sergeant Gutsy - The combat is one of the things I have been struggling with. If you go back to the Prologue, I think the answer is there. I believe I said that Baker's former squad used unconventional methods. I haven't shown that in story yet, but I want to. I am hoping to use a mixture of everything. If he has to crawl through an irradiated pool filled with body parts to kill one ghoul, he is going to do it. If he sees a horde of mutants, he may just rush in guns blazing, and shove a super sledge straight up their, well you know. I want the combat to be diverse and unique.

For anybody else, I may change parts of my first chapters. I think I put them up too fast, and I think they suffered because of that. If I change any of them, I will just add a new post to tell you what is different.

I wsn't talking about current fanfics though, I'm talking about all the ones already made. Which there are a ton of.

But there's not much else to write of. Every other Fan Fiction has been done to death. Lone Wanderer, BoS, Outcasts, etc. Come on, lighten up. It's just a Fan Fiction someone wanted to write.

Stop saying that. I don't need to 'lighten up'. You don't get my point when I say Enclave has been done the most of anything else. There are tons of other things you could do. Start a ghoul-based story or RP for once, how about something for Reilley's Rangers? Deathclaws, protectrons, Yao-Guais, base the story in the middle of nowhere.. This forum doesn't have much people with imagination(no, I'm not being a dike. I'm speaking my opinion). I'm just saying, try doing something that HASEN'T been done a million times already.

Guys, I usually frequent the cheats, hints, and spoilers or general discussion forums for FO3. So, I'm fairly new to the Fan Fic forum. Everything is new to me. So, I didn't really know that the Enclave had been overdone. I haven't seen many stories anyway. It doesn't really matter to me though. I just want to write. Whether what I write about has been overdone or not, doesn't really concern me. I just want to write about what's in my head. Besides, just because something has been done, that doesn't mean a unique story can't still be created. Also, my story isn't really about the Enclave. It's about an Enclave soldier.

Okay, maybe it is time for a quick review of constructive criticism vs. just being rude. These fanfics are not done by request - they are done because the author is trying to tell a story, improve his writing and so on. If you had a few salient points about things you think might be improved or expanded upon in his published chapter or chapters, offering up that opinion in a civil manner is fine and usually most authors appreciate it. If you read a fanfic that is not to your taste for whatever reason, dropping a rude post to say "blech, I am bored with this as a subject matter" is basically flaming.

Know the difference - it's also the difference between getting unfriendly moderator attention... or not.

Posts deleted. If I get involved it will be more than Leydenne's rightful advice post.

Please get back to discussing the story content - OK?

Since half the posts here are about (what?) how many other fanfix there are? NE-ways you wouldn't hear from me unless I read your work and liked it. The prologue had me asking "The Enclave taking BOS scribes prisoner? A costly tactic especially if you are trading STF units for these scribes." Then the practical issue arises where the Enclave units find the pawn-trade unacceptable once it actually happens. I kept reading becuase this is a good story and I wanted to find out what happens next. Colonel Autumn. Nothing more need be said. I could practically hear his southern sounding accent while he takes his frustration of the failed mission out on our hero. Then Eden steps in and he's like: "Um yeah, Colonel...that will be all thank you..."
So our hero has shown a special talent for an Enclave STF and Eden wishes to capitalize on it. But in what way we shall see...And the suspense continues...

This is practically solid gold! :bowdown: A squad of one? I've thought of that for other stories based in different universes but the Enclave? I never thought of the Enclave doing anything like that! I can't wait til the next chapter!