Our story begins just before the King enters the prison cell of our illustrious heroinne...

The Mushroom Picker


Its amazing what kind of trouble you can fall into when hunting for a little lunch. I often go in search of mushrooms and this is what got me in this mess. I live in a small valley way off past the gerall mountains, were a small community, keep ourselves to ourselves. Ma asked me to pick the pickings the "chosen" is supposed to, that is, we in our valley prize the skills of the shroom picker above all else, an I am what I am, the "chosen", cos I has the ways of the ways and its up to me to see the shrooms and choose. Thats our way, The chosen know from something deep within what for a shroom is right for the eating and what for the shroom is for poison or for medicine. Anyways, I was shroom picking as I do an I saw a- no, I smells em, no no, its a knowin that you know but it was shrooms that I was leading to and I forget all else and then I sees I have gone far from the valley and the nightfall is a comin and, well, then it hit me. It was a smell, a tingle in my toes and only the biggest and the lurveliest an the bestest shrooms come from that feeling. So offs I wander in my shroom picking trance an next I sees I am stood outside a door and it was a cavern door of sorts and we all knows the bestest shrooms come from being under and damp and dark. I went in all a worry as I do, wen all the sounds come alive an my mind is seeing the shroom before I has it an, well. I had but one torch on me and I lit that up and I was in a hurry for it, my eyes is good but not that good in tha holes and this was a black hole of the blackest kind.
As I came upon a tunnel I saws a light, a flickering and a glow, and that why I spose I didnt see it, the smell of the shroom overwhelming me an the flickering light that is. I hears words but they was the strangest of words and I peeks a peek at the speekers of them words, Dumner cousins of us, me, my people, but were of fairer skin and slitty yellow eyes we have, anyways. They was talking strange talk about killing kings an thats what made me move up toward them so`s I could hear about the killing of kings and that wen I found the hole beneath me. Fell I did, for what seemed an age. Ages it was I fell and I hits something an I think that was the floor. Hurts it did I yelled it hurt so. Lying on my back I see`s the men speaking of kings light flash above an I hears them clear thinking me dead and saying so. I looks about me an my mind was arush with shroom. About the cavern, a huge cavern the smell of wet and damp and moss, was the largest shrooms I ever did see. Huge they were, like trees towering above, and the moss beneath me was wot had broken my fall. Amazing though it wass I knew I hadnt the baggage to carry this treasure trove. I cuts me some slices and I stuffs my pockets full and then I thinks about hows I going home. For wot seems like a day I walks about and finally I finds the cavern wall, and to my rights I go an following the wall I walks for seemed like another day for my lucks and my fates sees me a wooden door. I opens the door an where might you think I be!? Nowhere I been before I can tells you.
Strange woods an strange waters I see, an off to the distance a village so big, so big I sees it but not before, with walls huge likes I never set on before. I finks to meself, I will go sees what that is and ins I go to have a better look. Doors of greatness huge and large open with perials guards, imperials wot we call perials an all the elf cousins and all the colours an foods from afar. Amazed I was an I picks my way through. That where I learnt this aint no village but one city you call. So, I has a hunger for home and I wants to knowing that way an speaking with these peoples I learn they iant so knowing my way home neither. "Boggins bottom" methinks, an I wander some more, but in askin I finds no-ones talking, about my ways home. No-one knows. I smells the smell again an follow my nose and finds a sparklin tower that has the shroom tingle for me a glowin...an I finds a door an wanders in. Now those big perials are a busy running here an there as some folks are a dead and theys a all a dither with this affair. I wanders not finkin a thing just following the shroom nose. I comes by a door an I knowing thats behind is my shroom and so`s I finds the door locked an I knows an opening ways and so`s I opens it and go in. A fine room this was all round and shiny, with glowing balls and glass things an all fings shiny. I sees the shroom I smells an its inside this bottle, whys I think is a shroom inna bottle? but befores I can ask a great magical man comes in and screams at me in a foreign tongue an, thats wen I couldnt move no mores, I fells over an guards come in an theys take me away without me speaking a word and now I am sitting here telling yous why I is here in your perials prison.


its supposed to be short, and these elves are well known for thier riddle-like speeches and story-telling. the "chosen" are basically just the ones who know about the mushrooms and thier uses but its turned into a reverance and grown into a mythology of its own, hence the constant refence to it. These elves live mainly isolated and seperate from the world. If you like this let me know, if you dont let me know, its just playing and nothing serious. Hope you enjoy,

I liked this better than your other first person topic.

The formatting is still putting me off. Don't bold it, just leave it 'as is' like your regular text.

The style works well for a short passage, I'm not sure it would work well in a longer version because of the...strain? of reading it. It would work perfectly as a dialogue in a regular 3rd person style. In my opinion ^_^

yes, the bold is slightly irritating, and the way its written looks too difficult and purposeful for me to jab, but it also is a little difficult to read ><. looks good, nice originality^^