There's most likely typos, mis-steps in logic, and probably a lore mistake or two, so please offer any and all constructive criticism you can.
On the Origin of Goblins
By Plinius Masser 3E 431
Goblin. The word is enough to generate a feeling of mild distaste amongst even the most tolerant of men.
But what are Goblins, and where did they come from? "Notes For Redguard History" by Destri Melarg suggests that
Goblins (not to be confused with the "giant Goblins", which I will discuss in more detail later) simply appeared
in our world one day, seemingly from another dimension.
Some scholars suggest that this so-called "gate to Oblivion" was a result of Trinimac's transformation into
the Daedra Malacath, which has in turn sparked a slew of theories, including that Goblins are the creation of
Malacath (despite not being Daedra, perhaps filling a similar niche to Hircine's were-creatures and Molag Bal's
vampires), or that the gate in question was an unfortunately up-close view of Boethiah "corrupting"
Trinimac into Malacath, and that these Goblins weren't actually Goblins at all, but rather Orcs.
However, there are some holes in this theory. Destri Melarg himself makes a mention of "giant Goblins"
warring with the ancient Redguards long before this gate even opened, and my humble interpretation is that
these "giant Goblins" were in fact Orcs, and that the Oblivion-based Goblins in question were simply Scamps,
a breed of lesser Daedra, which do happen to look an awful lot like Goblins.
So, if the giant Goblins were in fact Orcs, and the interdimensional Goblins were Scamps, where does that leave
the actual Goblins?
Anybody who has spent time with an Altmer will have surely heard something of Summerset Isles' "domestication"
of Goblins, which the elves use in battle the way a man might use a dog or even a summoned Daedra (although the
Altmer use those, too). However, the Altmer that I approached in the course of researching this book were not
willing to elaborate on where these Goblins came from.
If I may, I would now like to discuss the writings of a rather controversial figure, one Eric of Guis, Reman II's
ambassador to the Summerset Isles.
In one of his journals, Guis writes "High elves consider themselves to be the only perfect race. Over hundreds
of generations they have bred themselves into a racially pure line, and are now almost identical to one another
in appearance. The theory that the High Elves do not reproduce as quickly or as often as humans is false.
Rather, and to my horror, they kill nine out of ten babies born to them in their obsession for purity."
An interesting read, to say the least! However, if these accusations of eugenics are to be believed (every Altmer
I asked on the topic either refused to comment, threatened me with violence or actually performed violence on me!)
It's well-known that Goblins are common in lands that have been home to the Altmer (for example, the Direnni
in High Rock and Hammerfell, the Ayleids in Cyrodiil and perhaps even the island of Solstheim, which is plagued
by Rieklings, variously believed to be a breed of snow Goblin or even the descendants of the now-extinct Falmer,
or "snow elves"), so it's entirely likely that the high elves' domestication of our ugly, greenish-yellow friends
has lead to more than a few Goblins escaping from their former masters and turning feral, which is why so many
Goblins are found living in the wild, away from elven society.
However, why would a race so committed to beauty in all its forms, domesticate such an ugly creature? I propose
that the answer lies in the secretive elven practice of eugenics.
If you study a Goblin (not something that I'd recommend with a live specimen!), you'll find that they are
often yellow-skinned (or at least green with a yellowish tinge), pointy-eared, and gifted with a rudimentary grasp of language
(on my travels abroad, I had an opportunity to converse, briefly, with a Riekling by the name of Dulk, whom I found to
be remarkably bright, if a little unfriendly). They are also capable tool-users, and understand the value of currency
and cooked food (if rat meat can be considered food, anyway).
So, if high elven parents are so obsessed with having perfect-looking children, what do they do with the imperfect
ones? It's possible many are put to death, as Guis suggested, but is it not also possible, if not probable that
many of these children are simply cast aside and disowned by their families, and left to occupy a lower caste
of elven society?
Yes, you read that correctly. I am suggesting that Goblins are not the children of Malacath (although being
outcasts they are protected by him), but rather the children of the high elves, who after generations of
interbreeding with likewise imperfect elves, have become something of a new race of mer; "low elves", if you
will. A similar process can be concluded to have occured to the former Falmer of Solstheim, who now exist
as the Rieklings.
[Publisher's note: the opinions raised by Mr. Masser are not the opinions of we, the publishers, and would like to
take note of the fact that Plinius Masser is currently serving a jail sentence of twenty-five years to life for heresy,
and has been forbidden from setting foot on the Summerset Isles should he be released, under pain of death.]
By Plinius Masser 3E 431
Goblin. The word is enough to generate a feeling of mild distaste amongst even the most tolerant of men.
But what are Goblins, and where did they come from? "Notes For Redguard History" by Destri Melarg suggests that
Goblins (not to be confused with the "giant Goblins", which I will discuss in more detail later) simply appeared
in our world one day, seemingly from another dimension.
Some scholars suggest that this so-called "gate to Oblivion" was a result of Trinimac's transformation into
the Daedra Malacath, which has in turn sparked a slew of theories, including that Goblins are the creation of
Malacath (despite not being Daedra, perhaps filling a similar niche to Hircine's were-creatures and Molag Bal's
vampires), or that the gate in question was an unfortunately up-close view of Boethiah "corrupting"
Trinimac into Malacath, and that these Goblins weren't actually Goblins at all, but rather Orcs.
However, there are some holes in this theory. Destri Melarg himself makes a mention of "giant Goblins"
warring with the ancient Redguards long before this gate even opened, and my humble interpretation is that
these "giant Goblins" were in fact Orcs, and that the Oblivion-based Goblins in question were simply Scamps,
a breed of lesser Daedra, which do happen to look an awful lot like Goblins.
So, if the giant Goblins were in fact Orcs, and the interdimensional Goblins were Scamps, where does that leave
the actual Goblins?
Anybody who has spent time with an Altmer will have surely heard something of Summerset Isles' "domestication"
of Goblins, which the elves use in battle the way a man might use a dog or even a summoned Daedra (although the
Altmer use those, too). However, the Altmer that I approached in the course of researching this book were not
willing to elaborate on where these Goblins came from.
If I may, I would now like to discuss the writings of a rather controversial figure, one Eric of Guis, Reman II's
ambassador to the Summerset Isles.
In one of his journals, Guis writes "High elves consider themselves to be the only perfect race. Over hundreds
of generations they have bred themselves into a racially pure line, and are now almost identical to one another
in appearance. The theory that the High Elves do not reproduce as quickly or as often as humans is false.
Rather, and to my horror, they kill nine out of ten babies born to them in their obsession for purity."
An interesting read, to say the least! However, if these accusations of eugenics are to be believed (every Altmer
I asked on the topic either refused to comment, threatened me with violence or actually performed violence on me!)
It's well-known that Goblins are common in lands that have been home to the Altmer (for example, the Direnni
in High Rock and Hammerfell, the Ayleids in Cyrodiil and perhaps even the island of Solstheim, which is plagued
by Rieklings, variously believed to be a breed of snow Goblin or even the descendants of the now-extinct Falmer,
or "snow elves"), so it's entirely likely that the high elves' domestication of our ugly, greenish-yellow friends
has lead to more than a few Goblins escaping from their former masters and turning feral, which is why so many
Goblins are found living in the wild, away from elven society.
However, why would a race so committed to beauty in all its forms, domesticate such an ugly creature? I propose
that the answer lies in the secretive elven practice of eugenics.
If you study a Goblin (not something that I'd recommend with a live specimen!), you'll find that they are
often yellow-skinned (or at least green with a yellowish tinge), pointy-eared, and gifted with a rudimentary grasp of language
(on my travels abroad, I had an opportunity to converse, briefly, with a Riekling by the name of Dulk, whom I found to
be remarkably bright, if a little unfriendly). They are also capable tool-users, and understand the value of currency
and cooked food (if rat meat can be considered food, anyway).
So, if high elven parents are so obsessed with having perfect-looking children, what do they do with the imperfect
ones? It's possible many are put to death, as Guis suggested, but is it not also possible, if not probable that
many of these children are simply cast aside and disowned by their families, and left to occupy a lower caste
of elven society?
Yes, you read that correctly. I am suggesting that Goblins are not the children of Malacath (although being
outcasts they are protected by him), but rather the children of the high elves, who after generations of
interbreeding with likewise imperfect elves, have become something of a new race of mer; "low elves", if you
will. A similar process can be concluded to have occured to the former Falmer of Solstheim, who now exist
as the Rieklings.
[Publisher's note: the opinions raised by Mr. Masser are not the opinions of we, the publishers, and would like to
take note of the fact that Plinius Masser is currently serving a jail sentence of twenty-five years to life for heresy,
and has been forbidden from setting foot on the Summerset Isles should he be released, under pain of death.]