[KU Fint]

Welcome to the Prison breakout RP

Introduction:

"After the Oblivion Crisis crime had skyrocketed in Cyrodiil. While the empire was busy licking its wounds the greatest criminal organizations in all of Tamriel had decided to take the opportunity to squeeze all they could out of the good people of the empire. All the scum and lowlifes had grown rich, powerful, and greedy. Murders and thefts could be spotted all throughout Cyrodiil, and although the Imperial Guard worked tirelessly they found it nearly impossible to fit the all the convicted felons into the Imperial dungeons. The Elder Council, after a long debate in which no solutions seemed viable, decided to create new prison, built to maximize capacity with minimal effects on cost. Thus Alkatroz was born, a soon infamous and dark place, right on the ruins of what was once Kvatch. All manner of criminals were sent here, from the most heinous of murderers to the pettiest of thieves. It is here where you have just found your new home.... But for how long?"

The Story: You have all just arrived at one of the toughest prisons in Tamriel. Upon your arrival you are delivered a mysterious letter, the guardsmen grudgingly giving you the sealed contents. The only thing you can discern from the outsides of the envelope is the symbol on the seal, a sword ripping through a book. In the top right corner the symbol is repeated, the dark ink reading with the authority of fate itself:



"Dear Prisoner,

Loyalty is far more valuable to me than gold, and freedom can be bought with both. Meet us in the yard at midnight.


Yours truly,
Black Inc."



Story info:

Alkatroz Prison: Full of every mean and evil criminal known to the good people of cyrodil. Built from scavaged parts from the ruins of Kvatch, it has grown to become more like an animal pound for humans. Where prisoners stay until they've all served their time.... or are chosen to be put down.

The Elder council: Since the oblivion crisis they've become greedy and corrupted. They've been taking money from the citzens of the imperial city and all saving it up for in case they have to go back and "reclaim" any provinces that decide to suceed from the empire.

Black Inc.: A mysterious organzation hiring desperate prisoners as errand boys. They seem somewhat focused with changing history.

The Runaways (us): Us the Runaway prisoners who are caught in a struggle between the empire and Black Inc. Doing unspeakable deeds for a dark Criminal society while discovering the true nature of what the elder councils up to and why there making such irrational decisions. Being wanted men is just the beginnging for us.




Rules:

No God modding
No breaking out before i say so
No Spam



Please read before make your character:

Before you make your character I would like you to know a little information about your situation. You are in a prison and you have been convicted of crimes, and I'm allowing you to choose what crimes you've been convicted for (see below) but I would like you to be free and creative with this. So I have also added a Karma rating for your character and you have the option to say that your character is innocent and has been falsely convicted, or maybe prison has caused him to have a change of heart. Whatever the reason I want you to be creative with why your character is in prison, and also I encourage you to give them a goal once they get out. Will they return to a life of crime or will they try to become a better person, it's your choice. So please be as creative as possible. The prison is suppoused to be funny and a bit sterotypical in the beginning, so feel free to play around and ruff up some prisoners.

One last thing before anyone says anything this does have a story, but I do not with to give away the plot which is why the details are very vauge. So be prepared to be fighting off more than the imperial watch.



Now finally the Character sheet:


Name:

Nickname: (Can be a name people like to call you in prison or can just be your name you've had on the outside.)

Age:

Race:

Birthsign:


Class:

Weapons: (Keep it simple.)

Clothes: (Your in Prison so no armor)

Skills:
Weaknesses:


Apperance: (Is he a strong mean orc or a wimpy wood elf.)

Why your in Jail: (Rember be creative.)

Personality:


Bio/History: (What did they do before they came to the big house)




Okay i will take about 4-6 people before starting, but 10 maximum.

[Mel E]

Maybe you should put a little more backstory, a plot, some grammar, and the like. This is a bit of a turn off for the RPers here.

[sunny lovett]

I think this looks kinda fun... something light and new, and allowing us to play less-than-savory characters without feeling like total uber-noobs (now I just need to decide on whether I want to pull out my conman of five faces, my arcane trickster, or one of my assassins... hm...). I was actually toying with the idea of starting something like this about a year ago, but eventually nixed it, so I might be a bit biased.

I'm interested (though I can't say how frequently I'd be able to post)... but while "the story" section in your intro is a good scene-setter, I don't think it's terribly realistic. You're giving every character the same intro story? What, were we all dragged in on the same day, within minutes of one another, to see the exact same sights? And all apparently put in the same cell? Perhaps you should assign that "story" section to a particular character, and simply let the rest of the players decide when and how they're dragged in, and how they recieve the mysterious letter.

Also, for the character sheets, you might want to just tell us what our starter equipment is (prison linens, maybe give us the option of stealing silverware or something?), and just let us say what weapons and armor we're proficient in. Getting our hands on something we're good with might be another matter entirely.

Edit: Oh, and what is the karma scale out of? 1-10? 1-100? What's a mid-level karma about... a murder of passion or petty theft? Or is the 'karma rating" just the option of saying "guilty" or "innocent"?

Those are my suggestions anyway, to make things a bit more consistant.

[lolly13]

I think this looks kinda fun... something light and new, and allowing us to play less-than-savory characters without feeling like total uber-noobs (now I just need to decide on whether I want to pull out my conman of five faces, my arcane trickster, or one of my assassins... hm...). I was actually toying with the idea of starting something like this about a year ago, but eventually nixed it, so I might be a bit biased.

I'm interested (though I can't say how frequently I'd be able to post)... but while "the story" section in your intro is a good scene-setter, I don't think it's terribly realistic. You're giving every character the same intro story? What, were we all dragged in on the same day, within minutes of one another, to see the exact same sights? And all apparently put in the same cell? Perhaps you should assign that "story" section to a particular character, and simply let the rest of the players decide when and how they're dragged in, and how they recieve the mysterious letter.

Also, for the character sheets, you might want to just tell us what our starter equipment is (prison linens, maybe give us the option of stealing silverware or something?), and just let us say what weapons and armor we're proficient in. Getting our hands on something we're good with might be another matter entirely.

Those are my suggestions anyway, to make things a bit more consistant.

I agree. I'd like to have a lowly prisoner who snoops around. I say we have a schedule and such. Anyway, develop it a wee bit more, and I may join.

[Darren Chandler]

Ah, I see you decided not to take me up on my offer. Oh well :sadvaultboy:

Welcome to the Prison breakout RP

Introduction:

"After the oblivion crisis crime had skyrocketed in Cyrodil. While the empire was busy licking its wounds the greatest criminal organzations in all of tarmeiral had decided to take the oppurtunity to squeeze all they could out of the good people of the empire. From The Darkbrotherhood to The Thieves Guild, and from Pirates to Skooma Rings. All had become rich, powerful, and greedy. Murders and thefts could be spotted all throughout cyrodil, and although the Imperial Guard was restless they found it nearly impossible to fit the all the criminals they arrest into the imperial dungeons. So as a result the elder council got together to decide what could be done, and instead of finding a way to lower the crime rate they decided to build a bigger prison. Thus Alkatroz was born, and was built right over the smoking ruins of Kvatch. Holding inside its walls all the way to cyrodils worst serial killers to simple petty thieves. It is here where you have just found your new home.... but it is also here where you will die."


This seems like a rather frivilous detail. Making up a whole new prison seems unnecessary when you can always just use the pre-existing one. You can take creative license with the Imperial Prison if that's a concern, it doesn't have to be the eight celled place it is in game. Also, why would they waste so much money on a new prison if they're already in trouble? I liked your idea about enacting more executions, it adds a certain suspenseful element.


The Story: You have just been thrown into one of the biggest and most secured prisons in all of Tamieral. You a lonely prisoner are walked through the prison courtyard in chains. As the prison guard leads you through you watch as a wimpy Breton is senselessly beat by a gang of orcs. You watch as a Redguard lifts weights in a corner and watch as a group of Khajiits all sitting on a bench take turns drinking from a freshly opened bottled of Skooma. As the guard leads you inside you smell the stench of fresh blood, only to find it coming from a woodelf whos leg has been snapped in half while his nose was gushing out blood. You are then tooken to the end of the hallway where you see an empty cell....... your cell.

Kind of unnecessary to add all that in the OP, if you really want to describe it do it once the RP has started. For now I would advise just leaving it by saying it's a prison. Besides, I can't imagine the guard just walking by an open skooma bottle.

"Welcome to Alkatroz" the Prison guard said as he threw you in your cell so hard that dirt sprung from the floor and went into the air as you hit the ground. " heh...Hope you enjoy your new home" the guard chuckled as he locked the door shut and walked off. As the air started to clear you began to get settled in your new room. Cold coble stones covered the walls and dirt layed out on the floor. It wasn't exactly a mansion but you thought it would suffice for a prison. You then layed down on your dirty make shift bed consisting of nothing but a dirty pillow and a blanket. As you layed there for a moment you felt something crinkle underneath. You then rolled over and look down to find a nicely laid parcel laying neatly on the floor. You pick it up and notice there is no name on it but only a weird symbol of a sword tearing through a book. You open it up and it reads:

Same thing as above; I have learned from personal experience that while this kind of introduction may look cool, people really just want to know what the idea is. They don't care about all the fancy things, they just want to know what the RP is and who all is joining.


"Dear Prisoner,

I am requesting help from you. I can give you freedom and you can give me loyalty, if you're interested please meet me in the courtyard 2 weeks from today at midnight. There you will know that you need to know.

Yours truley
The Black Inc."

First off I think this letter could be much more interesting. Shorter, more ambiguous, and a bit more sinister. Next I must point out that even if they somehow knew when your prisoner gets thrown in jail, not everyone would go in at the same time; so like BSparrow pointed out I would change that. Also, when a company uses the word "incorporated" they don't need a "the"; if it was "The Black Company" or "Black Incorporated" maybe, but I've never heard of "The Blank Incorporated". It just sounds off, nothing really wrong with it.


Rules:

No God modding
No breaking out before i say so
No Spam
1 OOC post a day (What? I don't advise making up rules, just stick with the normal stuff)
Comedy is recommended (Once again, this doesn't seem like a comedy RP, I wouldn't advise that)





Please read before make your character:

Before you make your character I would like you to know a little information about your situation. You are in a prison and you have been convicted of crimes, and I'm allowing you to choose what crimes you've been convicted for (see below) but I would like you to be free and creative with this. So I have also added a Karma rating for your character and you have the option to say that your character is innocent and has been falsely convicted, or maybe prison has caused him to have a change of heart. Whatever the reason I want you to be creative with why your character is in prison, and also I encourage you to give them a goal once they get out. Will they return to a life of crime or will they try to become a better person, it's your choice. So please be as creative as possible. Also for the RP you are allowed to add comedic situations. In fact I encourage you to as this RP is for fun and doesn't always have to be extreamly serious.


Most of this goes without saying, and taking up space in an OP just makes people turn away, trust me. And karma seems a tad unrealistic and frivilous, just have us say whether they did the crime or not by putting a spot for it on the CS example.

One last thing before anyone says anything this does have a story, but I do not with to give away the plot which is why the details are very vauge. So be prepared to be fighting off more than the imperial watch.


Vagueness in a story is good; vagueness in an RP just leaves out interesting details that could otherwise attract players. The characters won't know, and the RPers shouldn't make it as if their characters know, so there's really no point in not telling anyone. The attractive part about RPing is character interaction, not so much plot (though plot contributes to this). It's the only reason people don't write novels, because they prefer to interact with other characters.


Now finally the Character sheet:


Name:

Nickname: (Can be a name people like to call you in prison or can just be your name you've had on the outside.)

Age:

Race:

Birthsign:


Class:

Weapons: (Keep it simple.) (Like a shank? I don't think we'd have any weapons, really, so this too seems pointless)

Clothes: (Your in Prison so no armor)

Skills:
Weaknesses:


Apperance: (Is he a strong mean orc or a wimpy wood elf.)

Karma:

Why your in Jail: (Rember be creative.)

Personality:


Bio/History: (What did they do before they came to the big house)




Okay i will take about 4-6 people before starting, but 10 maximum.

All in all it's a good idea, I'm glad you expanded beyond what you came to your idea thread with, but I still think you should work on it. My own idea thread (although it only has three people currently having posted) has been up for a week now, and I have no intention of putting a sign up thread until I change something considederably due to criticism. I always encourage people to wait, starting an RP shouldn't be a rushed procedure.

Just like I said in the idea thread, you need to refine and add more ideas. Since jailbreaks are such a cliche thing to begin with, you need a lot of creative ideas to attract players. Not saying you can't do it, but I'm trying to say that it still needs work (especially spelling and grammar). My offer to help with the OP or ideas still stands, I'm sure a bit of criticism could only help your RP. However, I'm glad to see you are making progress with this, so keep up the good work :goodjob:

Thanks for your time, I hope I wasn't over critical

[Amanda Leis]

I think this looks kinda fun... something light and new, and allowing us to play less-than-savory characters without feeling like total uber-noobs (now I just need to decide on whether I want to pull out my conman of five faces, my arcane trickster, or one of my assassins... hm...). I was actually toying with the idea of starting something like this about a year ago, but eventually nixed it, so I might be a bit biased.

I'm interested (though I can't say how frequently I'd be able to post)... but while "the story" section in your intro is a good scene-setter, I don't think it's terribly realistic. You're giving every character the same intro story? What, were we all dragged in on the same day, within minutes of one another, to see the exact same sights? And all apparently put in the same cell? Perhaps you should assign that "story" section to a particular character, and simply let the rest of the players decide when and how they're dragged in, and how they recieve the mysterious letter.

Also, for the character sheets, you might want to just tell us what our starter equipment is (prison linens, maybe give us the option of stealing silverware or something?), and just let us say what weapons and armor we're proficient in. Getting our hands on something we're good with might be another matter entirely.

Edit: Oh, and what is the karma scale out of? 1-10? 1-100? What's a mid-level karma about... a murder of passion or petty theft? Or is the 'karma rating" just the option of saying "guilty" or "innocent"?

Those are my suggestions anyway, to make things a bit more consistant.

Karma is similar to the fallouts version of Karma. There are 5 types: Netural, Good, Very Good, Evil, and Very Evil. It thought it would just use fallouts karma system because its simple and easy to read. And yes i see what you mean but the story isn't cannon really its just describing a unamed prisoner so it could be any of us. But i see what you mean and so i will change it.

And as far as grammar goes i can not fix it. I do not possess the skills or applications to fix grammar errors.

[naomi]

Karma is similar to the fallouts version of Karma. There are 5 types: Netural, Good, Very Good, Evil, and Very Evil. It thought it would just use fallouts karma system because its simple and easy to read. And yes i see what you mean but the story isn't cannon really its just describing a unamed prisoner so it could be any of us. But i see what you mean and so i will change it.

And as far as grammar goes i can not fix it. I do not possess the skills or applications to fix grammar errors.

Indeed, but this isn't Fallout, and good and evil aren't so clear cut. Even five shades of gray aren't enough for the natural flow desired in roleplaying. Hence why I've never seen it before

It was a good idea, but it is simply not necessary to get your idea across. Once you have everyone signed up and the RP started, then you can get fancy with the OP. I did that with my idea thread, and so far with pitiful results. Don't make the same mistake I did; people do things around here for a reason, so it's best to do the same as everyone else :shrug:

If you'd like me to extend my offer a third time, I can check and fix your OP for grammar, spelling, and overall errors. But if for some reason you do not want to have me do that, http://www.spellchecker.net/spellcheck/should work for you.

Thanks, good luck :goodjob:

[Shirley BEltran]

Maybe you should put a little more backstory, a plot, some grammar, and the like. This is a bit of a turn off for the RPers here.

it has a plot please read my notes i just haven't posted what the main plot is yet.

[-__^]

I think this looks kinda fun... something light and new, and allowing us to play less-than-savory characters without feeling like total uber-noobs (now I just need to decide on whether I want to pull out my conman of five faces, my arcane trickster, or one of my assassins... hm...). I was actually toying with the idea of starting something like this about a year ago, but eventually nixed it, so I might be a bit biased.

I'm interested (though I can't say how frequently I'd be able to post)... but while "the story" section in your intro is a good scene-setter, I don't think it's terribly realistic. You're giving every character the same intro story? What, were we all dragged in on the same day, within minutes of one another, to see the exact same sights? And all apparently put in the same cell? Perhaps you should assign that "story" section to a particular character, and simply let the rest of the players decide when and how they're dragged in, and how they recieve the mysterious letter.

Also, for the character sheets, you might want to just tell us what our starter equipment is (prison linens, maybe give us the option of stealing silverware or something?), and just let us say what weapons and armor we're proficient in. Getting our hands on something we're good with might be another matter entirely.

Edit: Oh, and what is the karma scale out of? 1-10? 1-100? What's a mid-level karma about... a murder of passion or petty theft? Or is the 'karma rating" just the option of saying "guilty" or "innocent"?

Those are my suggestions anyway, to make things a bit more consistant.

Okay Bsparrow im in the process of fixing this just give me a minute. I hope i don't have to post a new thread.

[Charlotte Lloyd-Jones]

it has a plot please read my notes i just haven't posted what the main plot is yet.

I believe what Darkom is getting at is that you should add a hint about what the main plot entails, just to help entice players in. Is this a crime syndicate tale, where the characters will get wound up in plots and intrigues out of their control, or is it rather more of a redemption arc, where they'll have a chance to save Tamriel? Is there a Daedric Prince involved, or an evil wizard, or even a corrupt watch captain? In essence: what can we expect (even vaguely) that makes this roleplay interesting and unique?

And I agree that I don't think that karma system is quite up to snuff. For example, the character I'm thinking of submitting is a roguish trickster with a nasty gambling problem. He's generally good-hearted, but is nonetheless a shameless thief. I wouldn't put him on the "good" side of the scale, since he's guilty as all get-out... but he's certainly not in any way malevolent, and therefore couldn't qualify as "evil." I think quantifying someone's karma might be tricky, in that respect... unless you make it more complex, I agree with Darkom that you should probably just drop it altogether.

Don't worry about posting a new thread... think of this as another 'planning' thread, just to straighten ideas out and whatnot. You can post the actual sign-up thread once everything is a bit more polished.

[Genevieve]

I believe what Darkom is getting at is that you should add a hint about what the main plot entails, just to help entice players in. Is this a crime syndicate tale, where the characters will get wound up in plots and intrigues out of their control, or is it rather more of a redemption arc, where they'll have a chance to save Tamriel? Is there a Daedric Prince involved, or an evil wizard, or even a corrupt watch captain? In essence: what can we expect (even vaguely) that makes this roleplay interesting and unique?

And I agree that I don't think that karma system is quite up to snuff. For example, the character I'm thinking of submitting is a roguish trickster with a nasty gambling problem. He's generally good-hearted, but is nonetheless a shameless thief. I wouldn't put him on the "good" side of the scale, since he's guilty as all get-out... but he's certainly not in any way malevolent, and therefore couldn't qualify as "evil." I think quantifying someone's karma might be tricky, in that respect... unless you make it more complex, I agree with Darkom that you should probably just drop it altogether.

Don't worry about posting a new thread... think of this as another 'planning' thread, just to straighten ideas out and whatnot. You can post the actual sign-up thread once everything is a bit more polished.

yes i will take out the karma. But like i said were going to be working for an organzation of criminals who are out to change history. It is somewhat redemption but its also rebellion against a corrupted and lazy elder council. Like i said before they didn't really want to get to involved with the rising criminal rate so instead they decided just to stow all the criminals in a big building and kill them off when they run out of room. Its like an animal pound for humans.

[Heather M]

yes i will take out the karma. But like i said were going to be working for an organzation of criminals who are out to change history. It is somewhat redemption but its also rebellion against a corrupted and lazy elder council. Like i said before they didn't really want to get to involved with the rising criminal rate so instead they decided just to stow all the criminals in a big building and kill them off when they run out of room. Its like an animal pound for humans.

Yes, well, I'm sure it will prove interesting. If you would like to bounce ideas back and forth over PM or messenger I should be available in the near future, I'll be taking part as well.

If you don't want to reveal too much, how about explaining the mysterious organizations overall goal. Yes, changing history, but what do they want to do? Do they want to take control of the government? Destroy it? Just a basic idea will suffice, and it won't ruin anything, I expect.

Thanks, I hope you like the revised OP I sent you



EDIT: I suppose so, the OP should be fine now. Ah, one thing, you'll need a catchy name. "Prison Break RP" isn't exactly something to remember this by

Perhaps: Black Inc., Shades of Gray, Cyrodiil's Underworld, Breakout, etc.

PS Come to think of it, Black Inc. isn't the most creative name either. Nothing wrong with it, I'm just a stickler for cool sounding names. If I were in an action move, every other one of my lines would be a quotable cliche

Suggestions: The Company, New Empire, Ravenwood, or maybe (my own favorite) Guys who break other guys out of jail.

But in all seriousness, keep up the good work (as always)

[Setal Vara]

okay i think this is ready to go to a signup thread. Does everyone else agree.

Edit: Ive done some major changes so read. I've even added an info section to add back story.

[Yvonne Gruening]

Closed per request.