First, thanks for reading this. My other thread on this is about if you would read it. This is the actual one that I just pieced together today. Critism welcome! My first fanfiction! Based off a real, (not published, im only a teen, dude ) forty paged story I made, thats loosleaf pages , and based off the RP I'm currently making. Hopefully I can make about two stories a week, maybe three. Please enjoy!


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The Bandit was patrolling the small caverns of his area, and spotted a small desk and chair with a note and quill on it. He slowly strolled over to the table and sat down, picking up the note and read it to himself.

Sire,
I need you to commandeer a small caravan heading towards your cave by high noon tomorrow.

K.

The date was written yesterday, and he ran back up to his chambers in the small caverns. Life had become monotonous in the small cavern with his bandit companions. He shoved the note in his pocket and climbed up the ladder to his personal quarters. It was a small cavern room, with a few chests and stolen items, as well as two bedrolls and a cupboard.
He opened the door from his chambers and walked through the narrow path lighten by small torches in makeshift holders, which led to his companion's rooms. He could find no other members, and become angry and mad.

Where the heck are they?!? This boring month gets interesting, and they leave for a small raid!

He didn't approve of such a raid, but they normally went on small ones by themselves to nearby farms and villages. He kicked at the dust and frowned in thought. Perhaps he could trick the caravan; he wouldn't pass up such an opportunity like this. He walked through the many corridors and opened a small door leading to a tiny room with a few chests and armor lying on the ground, and stepped inside and put on a leather vest and some chainmail armor. Satisfied with his armor, he walked back out and shut the door and locked it.

However, in the corner a pair of unfriendly eyes looked upon the man. The Bandit felt disturbed and searched the room to no avail, and then stood still as he once again looked around. In the corner, a figure in a special gray and black mottled cloak slowly reached for his quiver, and knocked an arrow into his bow. He quietly drew the string back and aimed at the bandits left foot, and nodded to his companion who was crouched next to him in a blue velvet cloak and hood. The man nodded back and slowly crept out of the dark shadows of the corner as the other man released his fingers and sent the arrow sprawling into the Bandit's foot as the man yelped in pain and surprise.

The bandit fell to the ground and cradled his leg as he screamed in pain. Out of the corner of his eye, the man saw, out of the corner of his eye, two figures creeping out of the corner towards him. The bandit shuddered and tried to regain his balance, but fell and a black leather glove with a blue velvet robe on grabbed his collar and hefted the bandit up. The man said, with a sinister smile,
"Why, hello there, mister. I'm sorry, but you'll have to come in with us."

The bandit scrambled out of the man's hold as the blue velvet man drew a sword on the bandit. His companion, unknown to the bandit, snuck behind the bandit and pulled his dagger out. The bandit screamed and ran backwards, right into the strange cloaked man, who rammed the butt of his dagger into the bandit's skull, knocking him unconscious as he drifted off into warmness.

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Darloken grinned at his blue velvet companion as he hefted up the bandit leader.
"Good job, Xaver!" Darloken said to his friend as they both pulled down their hoods, revealing Darloken, a bosmer, and Xaver, a dunmer.
Darloken was short and looked about twenty, as he was an elf and lived for an extremely long time. He had a small blonde beard with brown streaks and his hair was tied into a knot behind his head. His hair was blonde as well, with brown streaks, also.
His eyes were piercing green and blue eyes as he beamed a grin at his companion. He was a Ranger, a special Hunter, extremely skilled in Archery, daggers, hand to hand, light armor, agility, and the like. He was also a retired assassin, but did some mercenary work as they were now with his companion.

His companion, Xaver, was a battle mage and was extremely muscular and tall, dwarfing his friend in size but not in power. When they were little, Xaver was still muscular and strong, but his companion usually won, as Darloken was fast, agile, and could deliver a shockingly hard punch to the gut, as well as some extreme kicks.
Darloken had always been skilled with a bow and dagger/ or short swords.
Xaver was always skilled with blunt weapons, as well as many magical abilities. They were known all around Cyrodill as a force to be reckoned with, known as the Wayward Rangers. Darloken, of course, was the only Ranger, but he was smarter than his friend and led the group of the two of them.

Xaver was broad in shoulder and width due to all of his muscles. His face was stern and his nose showed signs of being broken years ago, by a strong kick delivered by Darloken. Nevertheless, they had grown to be quite good friends and companions.
Xaver's face was strong as well as his jaw. His eyes were as black as his hair, which was tied with a red bandana, but usually concealed by his hood as the same was for Darloken's. Xaver wore a blue robe, with chainmail armor underneath it.
Darloken wore a gray and black mottled cloak, which multiplied the wears stealth ability by threefold, and a suit of custom made black leather armor underneath of his robe.

Darloken gestured towards his friend and said, "We better get em to the guard station before he wakes up."
His companion nodded back at him and said, "Yes. Hard to believe he and his friends were the terror of Anvil. Rather sad. Good thing you came up with that fake note about the caravan, they were large in numbers and could've taken a while to destroy one at a time."

Darloken opened the door to the forest and held it for his friend as he walked out carrying the unconscious bandit. Xaver threw the bandit on his saddle and hoped on in front of the slump of a figure. He stroked his horse and waited quietly for Darloken, who left their calling guard, a large feather of the eagle in front of the door to the cave, then stuck a steel dagger they had on the door and mounted his own horse. His horse was specially trained by him to respond to only him and Xaver, by their touch and the name they called the horse. He trained the horse to respond only to the name he had given it, Kicker. His horse also responded to commands, such as a flick behind the ear and a gentle touch of the tow or knee in the ribs section of the horse.

Darloken led the two of them towards the main road towards Anvil, where they would receive their payment, as it was only a few miles away. His bow was ready and his piercing eyes were scanning the horizon as they slowly trotted onwards.

On the way to Anvil, Darloken's question pearched on the tip of his tounge.
"So...how many did you get?"
His friend looked at him, narroweyed.
"...Twelve." His friend said back, suspicious of Darloken.
Darloken grinned broading and shoved his hands in his friend's face. "Eighteen!" He grinned even wider as his friend frowned and moved his horse ahead of Darloken's.
"Don't be jealous...you can beat me this time. Maybe." Darloken said still grinning. As he said the last word, he pushed his horse into a gallop as Xaver was soon to follow in suite, chasing after his friend, determined to beat him...

Disregard this.

I forgot to mention, this takes place less than ten years after the Oblivion crisis.
Sorry, NEXT chapter I'll reveal their character.
This is all on my computer, so I'm trying to let people read it before I post the next
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Darloken walked out of the small dungeons of Castle Anvil. Xaver was waiting outside the door.

"How much did we earn?" He asked eagerly.

Darloken shook his head and made a small gesture with his hand.
"We have to pick it up from the countess of Anvil. The guards didn't have any of the money on them. Come on."
Darloken walked towards the throne room and stopped, beckoning his companion, who followed in suite.

"How much did we earn??" Xaver asked once again, figuring the guards had told him.

"Two-thousand gold." Darloken replied slowly.
"What!? Really? That's great!" Xaver eagerly replied to his friend's comment. Now anxious to get to the Countess, he nudged Darloken onward.

"Okay, okay!" Darloken said quietly as they approached the countess. Xaver remained ten feet behind Darloken, in the background a little.
Normally he couldn't control his tongue at the sight of gold or wealthy people. Darloken kneeled before the countess and said,
"Milady, we are the Wayward Rangers. Sworn protectors of all nature of this land, and we follow the wind as it pushes us onward."
Xaver smiled. Darloken rehearsed that line for every noble or anyone that called for their help.

The countess stood from her thrown and walked over towards Darloken.
"No, my good sir." She said, "Anvil owes you very much. I hope this will supply for the time being, and I hope you will be able to reply to more help if we are in need of your services."

Darloken nodded, and the countess set down a bag of gold in front of Darloken, who reached for it as the countess sat down. He shoved it in his pocket and bowed,
"Thank you, milady." He said, as courtly and knightly as he could. He walked out of the room and Xaver was soon to follow, after he bowed down to the countess as well, thanking her.

Darloken withdrew the gold as they sat down at a small table outside the throne room. He divided the gold into two, one thousand for each. They shared they're money, of course. But should anything happen, they should each have an equal amount of money in stead of if one should disappear; all of their money would be gone as well.

Xaver grinned broadly at his companion as Darloken handed Xaver the money.
"Great! What do you say we rent a small room for the night, and sell all the loot we've got?" Xaver proposed.

Darloken nodded as they opened the large gate into the courtyard of the castle. He looked up, and it was nearing dark. They could hit the sack early, and sell they're equipment before they slept. Then they could wake up early and head out. They received a letter stating that there was a bandit ambush area up the road to Kvatch. They cut off supplies to the refugee camp there, forcing them to find they're own food and supplies.

It was only ten years after the major Oblivion crisis. The Champion of Cyrodill retired from major adventurous adventures five years after it, as soon as Kvatch started rebuilding.
None of the houses in Kvatch were home to anyone, as they weren't even half done yet, so there was still a refuge camp inside the city walls, at least offering some protection from the Bandits.

They walked into Lelles' Quality Merchandise a little before 7ish.
"Ello there!" Xaver said to the man behind the counter.
"What can I do for ye?" Norbert Lelles, the owner, said to them.

After a few minutes of haggling with the merchant, they managed to sell their loot at a decent price. All together, for 1,000 gold.
They thanked the man then walked out of the small shack.
"Well. Shall we check into the Count's Arms then?' Xaver proposed.

Darloken grinned at his companion, and then shoved a finger into Xaver's side.
"Ok," he said, "But since it was YOUR idea, go head and pay for it."
Xaver frowned and withdrew his coin from his pocket, retrieving 50 septims, 25 for each room. He grumbled at his friend and handed Darloken the money, who only continued to grin at his companion.
They walked down the paved streets of Anvil until they came to the front door of The Count's Arms. Darloken walked in front, and sat down in front of Wilbur.

"Ello there, Wilbur!" Darloken said to the man behind the counter.
Wilbur glanced up, and recognized the man in the strange cloak.

"Well, I'll be! The Wayward Rangers! What're ye doing here?" Wilbur asked, setting a mug in front of Darloken, and Xaver when he sat down.
Darloken eagerly reached for the mug, took a sip, and then replied.
"Oh, you know. Coin. Heard there were some troubles with a Bandit Leader nearby. We're heading off tomorrow morning early. Going to see if there's a caravan heading to Kvatch, heard there's a small group of Bandits blocking off supplies to Kvatch." He said, as he took another sip.

"Ay, that there is." Wilbur responded, and then added something under his breath, just loud enough for Darloken to hear, "White Branch Bandits."
Darloken coughed and set the mug down on the table, coughing.
"What?!" He said urgently, causing a few other patrons to turn and stare.
Darloken stood up, and looked Wilbur in the eyes, "Who?!"
Before Wilbur could answer, he whipped around and off the chair, then slowly strolled out of the building, his leather boots barely making a sound on the wood floor.

He closed the door behind him and walked out into the street of Anvil. He pondered the situation, and thought about it as he sat down on a bench outside the Inn.
What could they possibly be doing here?
Why would they need supplies?
They owned most of the Bandit Groups in Cyrodill!
He stood up after a few minutes of thinking, and walked back into the Inn. He gestured Xaver towards him, and held the door open once again as his friend came outside as well and sat on the bench with him.

"Xaver, go find us a caravan. I'm going to turn in early. I'll get us two rooms; give me your 25 septims."
Xaver obliged, and then turned off to walk towards a guard to ask if any caravans would be leaving for Kvatch anytime soon, as Darloken walked back inside to rent a room.

"Wilbur, do you have two rooms available?" Darloken asked as he once again sat down at the counter.

"Yes, that we do. One on the left, and one on the right side of the hall." He said, and then added as Darloken paid the 50 septims, "Enjoy your stay."

Darloken walked slowly up the stairs as he disappeared into the shadows of the next floor, as Wilbur felt chills go down his spine. Darloken slid the key into the lock of the right room, and unlocked the door. This would be his room, and the other would be Xaver's.
He inspected the room. It was medium sized, and had a small table in the corner. On the other side, in the other corner, was a small, twin bed. There was a book shelf, a chest, and drawers scattered about the room on the wall. He walked over to the small table in the corner, and set down food, that he bought from Wilbur, on the plates provided in the room, as well as a few drinks. He set his sack down by the bed, but kept his quiver, hidden knives, and bow. He never went anywhere without them, and if he did go somewhere without them, he would feel naked and unprotected.
He set his journal on the nightstand, and then walked out into the hall to inspect Xaver's room; however it was the same, only reversed.

He sat down at the table in his own room, and began to eat, just before Xaver walked up the hallway. Darloken's door was open, and Xaver curiously walked inside.

"Ah! There you are! I found us a caravan, heading to Kvatch at noon tomorrow!" Xaver said to his companion, grinning.
"Great." Darloken replied blankly. He still hated all of the White Branch Bandits, and wouldn't get over it ever. He pointed to the room directly across the hall and said,
"There's your room. I set some food from Wilbur on the plates. Eat up." With that, Darloken turned back to his own food and finished it up as Xaver shut the door, and walked into his own room, eagerly reaching for the food after a long day's work. He leaned back on the chair, and remembered how Darloken had come to meet Xaver.

Darloken finished his meal, and changed into green felt pants, and lay on his bed.
He fingered the amulet he still had on, and then reached for his left eye, which was scared from previous encounters with the Bandits he had come to hate oh so much. He fell asleep, with his hand gripping tight the amulet hanging from his neck.

Yeah. So. Can anyone...you know...rate?

Well. got half way thro it. so far i like it. Its always neat to see what people can imagin up for fanfiction tales. ill read the rest and let ya know. but realy so far i like it. keep going i say.

Don't post thousands of words and then expect people to be eager to read and critique. As far as I know, people on this forum are not very productive when it comes to things like that. If you want people's opinion, you have to be modest with the amount of text you want to be critiqued.

ya but isnt that what fan fiction is for? a place to tell a tale that you create to share with the community? Im not expert here realy, but id think that thats what an area of the fourms if for dispite the lack of productivity for that section of the forums.


just my tought :/