I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but here it goes.

So, being gay my relationship choices are considerably different from heterosixual options. Meaning that I can't hit on people without knowing their sixuality first. <_<

Which that being said... I honestly have no earthly idea on how to find a suitable relationship. I'm currently a member of one dating site but obviously only one isn't going to cut it. The problem is I'm not sure which sites are reputable. As well, the fact that I can only join free ones narrows my options down further.

Basically, I'm gay and I don't know how/where to find a relationship. Would anyone know of a site that has helpful information or a search for local groups? Or know of any reputable free dating sites?

Thanks... :blush:

I don't have the experience for it, but I could add my thoughts.

The issue is not to continually woo someone with a short attention span but how the distance of the relationship plays on people. With all the examples it was primarily about a more concrete existence in someone else's mind. It is the prying, badmouthing, and suggestiveness that can get to a person when they are tired, that can make them to forget or dismiss bits of a relationship of a person so far away.

And people are different. This might not be an important factor in every distance relationship. The way you thought about it seemed a bit short though.

Do you not even tremble with a teeny little bit of fear as you move that monstrosity towards your soft, vulnerable flesh? :cold:

Gay bars?

Then it's about maintaining interest while apart? That's where frequent communication and love come into it. I've had people badmouth my girlfriend, and I've had girls throw themselves at me, but it doesn't change how I feel about her one iota. I don't think anyone is so impressionable to be swayed that much by other people unless there are already other issues with the relationship. I certainly don't think a need to buy her gifts just to keep you in her mind is healthy.

As I said, the single most important thing in a long distance relationship is an envisageable point in the future where you can be together on a permanent basis. Long distance ad infinitum is not an attractive prospect. Long distance "until we can be together, forever, as one!" is. That is the glue which has held my relationship together so firmly for a quarter of her life, and almost a quarter of mine. A decrease in distance between us has helped to validate that feeling.

That's a no, sadly. I'm just 19... <_<

Huh? What's wrong with ninetee...

Oh, America. Well that's inconvenient. I dunno, how big a place do you live in? There must surely be some kind of gay scene going on, it's just a matter of finding it.

I wonder if there is any way I could separate the terms "reminder" and "interest" for you, because I do not know how to phrase it otherwise.


The point is people are physical, and every bit past a phone call, such as Skype or a tactile thing, does help. That is all. I am not arguing against you on any other point.

Medium sized city, fourth largest in my state with around 500k population. it's far from New York or L.A. though.

That's still pretty big. Bigger than my city, almost as big as Glasgow. You can bet there's gonna be a healthy scene rumbling on there somewhere. Hell, I've even witnessed Dundee (pop. ~140k) as having a respectable gay scene (a mate needed cheering up, so who am I to say "no gay bars because I'm not gay"?), so a place of your size should be no problem. It's just a matter of finding it.


And if all else fails, move to Brighton. It barely has a straight scene.

Join the local LGBT group and do some volunteering. Gay bars. Socialize IRL.
As for hitting on people, I've been on both sides of the fence. Been hit on by people whom I weren't attracted to, and have hit on plenty of people who were not attracted to me, because of sixuality, personality, or physical preferences. When I think about it, one is attracted to a person, not a gender. Plus, there is no guarantee that the person you hit on will find you attractive.
The only downside I can see to your situation is if you live in a homophobic area. That would necessitate prudence in revealing your sixuality, sadly.


Also, Undone, I plug that epilator in, and epilate away, while my husband shaves his face and cringes. If I want the bathroom to myself, I chase him with it.

Not sure where to find my local group sadly.

I'm stuck in the dreaded "Friend Zone". There's a girl I really like. We're friends, but she has a boyfriend, so I'm essentially SOL. Dunno why I bothered posting this.

Thats not the friend zone.. that's just a friendship being that she currently has someone. The friend zone is completely different in that you have a slim chance of getting with a girl who only views you as such. With friendships, love can still bloom.

Just wait it out. Are you friends with the boyfriend? If not then just wait until they break up. If they don't then it was meant to be. Just wait it out.

Theres no returning from the friend zone. Tis a fearsome place.

You'll find them in some weird places. Is there a university in your area? Or do you have local yout health clinics? I know my university has an LGBT/supporters of LGBT group which gets together occasionally, just to hang out and offer support and stuff. Also, if your town has youth health clinics you could pop in there and ask if they know of any such groups, or they might even be able to help you out with websites you can join and the like if you are comfortable asking about dating sites.
Failing that, Google might have some information on your area if you search thoroughly.
Also, it depends what sort of relationship you're looking for. If you want a fling, then yes gay-bar types might be what you're after. But if you want a proper relationship, they might be worth avoiding. Ask around, see if your friends know of anyone who's single and looking, or hell, even try facebook (but remember be very, very, very careful with what you arrange).
Just have as good a social life as you possibly can, and try and find someone that way. on't let rejections get you down either!

Ok, that didn't answer your actual question about dating sites, but I'm afraid I don't really know about them and this is the best I can do >_<




Ah. This is not good news especially since she has a boyfriend already. You could wait it out, and see if they're likely to break up. Did the boyfriend happen along before or after your friendship with said girl? If it happened before, there may be a chance, however slim. If it happened after, then unfortunately she is probably wanting to just stay friends with you.

Car , money and trust.

Need to have all of them.

I dun have a car Trains and planes do it for me.

Trust is the keystone though.

Internets are embraced by the LBGT, I am quite sure. Look it up online, should have one for your area.

Well, wait it out. Sure, its probably a doomed cause (If you eer have to say "Wai it Out" When you are trying to get a girl to date you, its usually not a good idea. Especially in High School Relationships, which is what I'm guessing fits your situation) but if you like her enough, its worth the fight.

I was just in your sitution pretty much about 2 months ago. Met a nice girl at a Play i was in, and I had a terrible little crush on her.She hooked back up with an Old Ex and she wasnt happy with him, but the relationship lasted 2 months, helped her through it. 4 weeks after they broke up, I asked he out and got shot down. We're still friends though, the good thing about asking girls out is the worst thing that can happen is no, and thats usually not terrible.

So wait it out, wait for them to break up, wait about a month, maybe two, then ask her out. If she says no, thats okay. It provides alot of relief just asking a girl out after all the frustration of waiting. Also keep your eye out for other girls, maybe a wonderful girl is just around the corner for you.

Yup, there are several universities in my area and I'm currently going to a community college. Would the counseling center perhaps know of a group? Or where might be the most likely place to ask?

On Google... It... Failed me... All it pulled up were listing for gay bars and one web site that didn't even have a forum/any information about meetings of any kind. <_<

Honestly, anything beats waxing.

It can be possible since other things are affected by it for the time it happens.

To elaborate on your post: I'd go as far as to say that "to wait it out" in this situation is generally a rather bad idea, because more often than not it seems to devolve into people leading themselves on. You know this, of course, because you alluded to it in your post. You have your act together, for which I commend you, but unfortunately a lot of people in this situation (not necessarily here, on this forum, but in general) don't seem to understand that just because a girl wants to be friends with you doesn't necessarily mean she is interested in more. Usually (in my experience) this confusion leads to a whole boatload of trouble.

Some people seemingly become friends with someone they're romantically interested in, but isn't available in hopes that if they wait just long enough, the current relationship will break down and she'll either become available or romantically interested in them. I needn't point out that this isn't the best of bases to found a friendship on. It can be even worse, however, because in this case you're putting yourself in a position where cultivating hope becomes attractive. I.e., you start to lead yourself on there is more than is really there. From here on it's only a small step to "actively persuading her to see I'm the right partner for her", which, if she's in a relationship, spells disaster.

If you're not already friends with the person you're romantically interested in, and she's in a relationship, then (in my opinion) it would be wise to just move on. There's plenty of other girls out there that aren't in a serious relationship.

If you develop romantic feelings for someone you're already friends with, it's different, especially if he or she is already in a (serious) relationship. In this case, being with her is definately not an option. If you've been friends for years without anything happening, then chances are she's not that into you, romantically speaking.

Whether or not to tell her how you feel, is something different entirely. If you're best friends and the relationship she's in is serious, then it might not be the best idea to tell her. Even if she does understand, it will not only put a strain on your friendship but on her relationship as well.

You couldn't be more vague It's pretty clear you don't wish to elaborate but vague questions can only get vague answers... :sadvaultboy:
I mean if she's doing something harmful like drugs, the possible ways to solve your problem are kind of clear, but if she's making an important desicion or has certain preferences that are pretty much only her business(and you're not comfortable with it), for example changing her political or spiritual views or I don't know, whatever - that's a whole different story...

Well adding to the advice about LDRs -

Keep doing all the things she likes.

Communication of course needs to be very high.

This is working very well with my LDR..
-sometimes it doesn't hurt to keep talking about how things came to be. It really rekindles some strong feelings.

The overall objective is to do what's needed to keep the love strong.

-edit

-TRUST. Other guys may talk to her..but if she knows what she already has is good and is going to be together with her on a permanent basis, she'll consider that worth the wait. No doubts. If you have doubts - IGNORE THEM. Doubts can be the biggest killers in any relationship.


Ah just one more bit about the doubts; Ask questions if it really gets to you. Don't be aggressive. Things are not always what they seem. And don't share your doubts with other people. It's for your lover to know since it's about them.