Chapter Eight: The Trials of Seyda Neen

Evangeline the Hunger had what looked like a tear in her eye. It rolled down her light-gray skin and fell to the dirt road. Tanys gentle stroked her back and whispered, "Worry not, he'll be at peace soon enough." For a second Bloodsong swore he could see the hunger's mouth shape into a smile. Creeper kept walking, and they followed not too far behind. This time it was uneventful.

Seyda Neen's buildings were the same as in normal Tamriel. Old weathered huts and small one-room houses. Dremora, hunger, scamps, clannfear, golden saints, even dark seducers moved around in this city. The dremora served as guards. Out of the corner of his eye, Sir Bloodsong noticed a Dark Seducer in an outfit not normal for her kind. He rushed over and noticed she wore a long gray skirt and a gray cloth bra. He asked, "Why do you not dress like the rest of your kind?"

"I believe not in the same things, I suppose," she answered. Her voice was calm, yet firm. The Odd-dressing dark seducer looked around and walking over was a dremora with a black cape flowing behind. As he stepped the ground kicked up dust. Following him were two Xiviali, giant, dark-skinned, muscular shock troopers of the daedra.

The Dremora hissed, "Mazken, answer, why do you not wear the gifts the masters have provided?" The giant guards gripped their blood-red warhammers and squeezed until their knuckles were white. He frowned. The dark-skinned woman frowned as well, then she paced.

"I believe not in their goals, Kynmarcher," she sighed. He put out his fist and stuck out a thumb, at first his fist was sideways, then his thumb pointed down. The xiviali grabbed her legs and dragged her. Her screams were loud and quick.

The Mazken managed to make one shriek audible, "Free me, and I'll get you to Cyrodiil, I promise." A bag was shoved over her head. The Winged Twilight stared and weakly grinned. The Golden Saint called J'skooma grabbed his blade and started swinging randomly.

Tanys stated, "Lets save her." The Winged Twilight hissed something that he couldn't understand, and he guessed that was a no. Evangeline used her claws to write in the dirt, lets find another way. The Sheogorathian Daedra, J'skooma didn't care. Seeing how he was outvoted, they walked to Arrille's Trade House. As they pushed open the door, it creaked and allowed them to enter. Standing behind a counter was a male golden saint, in a corner stood a robed dremora.

The Saint behind the counter frowned, he was in the same uniform females wore, and it was obvious it couldn't be comforable. The Dremora stared and leaned against the wall. "What do you need," the one behind the counter asked. Tanys paused for a moment. Finally he knew what he'd say.

"Passage to Cyrodiil, know where we can get it," The Dremora called Tanys asked. The man smiled weakly and pointed up the stairs. Evangeline wrapped her arms around Bloodsong as they walked up the stairs. When they reached the top they discovered only one person stood there. A dunmer in a long soft black robe. In his right hand he held a daedric staff, and at the top was an dark-gray orb.

"What do you want," the man asked. "Either tell me or get out." His voice was sharp. He smelled of blood, and his hood covered most of his face.

The Dremora stated, "Sir we need passage to Cyrodiil, we need your help and will do what you ask for."

A smile spread across the Dunmer's face. He paused for several moments and looked around, Then he stood still and gazed into the orb at the top of his staff. Finally he averted his eyes and looked into Sir Bloodsong's. "Meet up with the lord of this settlement, a kynmarcher, do as he says, when he says I can give you passage, I will," the black-robed mer finally said.

They marched down the stairs and headed to the Cenus and Excise Office. When they shoved open the door, in chains stood the dark seducer, her body had been beaten and cut and she wore the standard dark seducer uniform. Next to her stood the Kynmarcher who asked, "What is that you would like, churls?"

The Hunger gently wrapped her arms the dremora she had spent so much time with, then J'skooma oddly enough stated, "Passage to Cyrodiil, Milord." The Dremora Lord nodded. A weak grin was on his uncovered face, and then it ended.

"All right, if you go to the cave near here and clear out all the rogue daedra in there, I'll get you passage to Mournhold," he hissed. The group each nodded and started walking to Addamastus, the cave nearest Seyda Neen...

Great addition Zalphon!

This is getting quite fun! Thanks for helping me to keep track of who is in what form - nicely done. Looks like the misfits get to clear a dungeon in their odd forms, eh? That should be interesting. :goodjob:



A couple minor edit things. Again, reading aloud may help you find these:

'Tanys gentle stroked her back and whispered,...' {gently}

'They marched down the stairs and headed to the Cenus and Excise Office.' {Census?}

'The Hunger gently wrapped her arms the dremora she had spent so much time with,...' {I think you mean: 'wrapped her arms around the dremora'}

Chapter Nine: The Cave

Together the group pushed open the door. It creaked a little as it opened, but it revealed a dark cave that dripped and had an eerie feeling to it. Tanys led them into the cave and felt a sense of despair. As he trekked forward he got closer to two voices pvssyring. Finally he opened a door that led to it, and there sat a small chest on a crate.

The Hunger walked towards it slowly, the Winged Twilight sighed as it treaded air, and J'skooma just pointed at it and laughed. Finally Sir Bloodsong walked over to it and opened it. What was in there was just a simple diamond, as he touched it, he felt blackness cloud his vision and he and his companions fell to the ground.

"Where am I," he thought as he awoke. His head ached and he stood up. Blood was dripping down his forehead in beads. Finally he managed to pull himself up, he was there at the cave, along with his companions, but this time he saw his own body. He wondered about what had happened. Suddenly some corpses reanimated next to him.

A Dark Seducer, a Scamp, and a Dremora lay there. The Knight stepped over the corpses and looked into a puddle. He was no longer a dremora. The Knight splashed water on his face and heard scales beat against scales. When the man looked into the pool of water once more his origin was no longer Dremora, but Daedroth. His body thin and weak, but his head was scaley and that of a crocodile. His fingers and feet held claws about two or three inches each, around his waist was a leather loincloth splattered with blood.

The Seducer awoke and asked with the soft voice of Evangeline, "Who are you?" He tried to speak, but no words formed, only grunts, hisses, and howls. She gripped her weapon firmly, then the scamp awoke. It quickly frowned and pointed at the daedroth and made a motion that he was friend, not foe.

"I am unable to let them know what I am saying, well at least the scamp knows," he thought. Finally the dremora woke and started babbling about cheese and mudcrabs, obviously it was J'skooma. The Dark-Skinned woman walked to the front of the cave and found that it couldn't be open and pinned to it was a note, "Good luck, the hunters are in the cave."

She gulped. "There are hunters in the cave, we have to fight them off," she hissed. The scamp and dremora nodded. The daedroth let out a grunt of acknowledgement and started leading the group in one direction, hopefully to find who was responsible for this. Behind them came a dremora archer with his bow strung, he had a smile on his face.

"Prepare to die," he chuckled. He released the bow string and the wooden arrow went flying into Tanys' chest. He moaned in pain and then charged. The Scamp hurried and started to mutter fire spells, and alongside were the Dark Seducer and the Dremora. He tore into their flesh and growled with delight. Evangeline the Dark Seducer pulled a note off one their corpses.

"You've killed the first and weakest hunters, good job, head deeper into the cave if you ever want to go back to your natural body forms," it read.

The group all together let out a deep sigh and continued wondering, hoping to find more hunters...

Great write Zalphon! Your detail is perfect!

Well, you certainly have built some suspense here!

Musical chairs! Lots of form changes. The techniques you are using to help keep straight who is who are helping.

I like character driven stories. I am reading now to find out what happens to Evangeline and to Tanys as well.

I hope they get through this cave. This is a good story - I mean the whole thread.

Chapter Ten: Failure

The Daedroth growled in an attempt to communicate, but once again failed. Out of behind a shadow of the cave walked a frost daedra. It roared, its voice chilled and deep, "I am Varmal, Hunter and Guardian of the treasure, what is your name?"

The Lizard-man gulped and paced. He barked something inaudible, but the frost atronach sighed, "So, it is that way then, you dare defy me, Lord Varmal, prepare to die." Frost emitted from its stubby finger-shaped icicles in a cone that burned against Tanys' flesh. It was like fire roasting wood, the agony was mindblowing. The Seducer grabbed her blade and charged, stabbing it into the giant ice monster. It moaned in anguish.

The Dremora pulled out his sword. Suddenly he barked, "Tanys mine," a long pause followed. "You die now, Atronach." Suddenly J'skooma muttered under his breath and a cone of flame burst from his armored hands. Suddenly a little ice melted from the daedric ice creature. Varmal fell to the ground and melted away as his life-force died, leaving behind a note.

The Mage-Warrior, the insane one walked over and read the note. "Defeated Varmal you have, impressive, now let us see how you deal with your new forms," it read. Blackness clouded all their minds and they all lost consiousness. Walking out from a dark hall of a cave was a dremora with a wide grin on his face. It quickly faded as he turned to the other two dremora following him.

He hissed, "Take these to the Mages' Guild Basemant in Vivec, I am sure the wizards would be most pleased." The other two following him kneeled hastily then saluted. "Except that one," he pointed to the scamp. "She'll come with me, I have a feeling she'll serve mch more value with me." Their armor clanked as they dragged out the prisoners.

Several hours passed as the prisoners were transported to their new home in Vivec. Finally Sir Bloodsong awoke, his scaley body was gone, instead it was replaced with his normal one. The Caravan Master looked back and smiled wickedly. The Knight gulped and noticed Evangeline and J'skooma, but not the Ashlander. "Hmmm, where could that S'wit be," he wondered.

Finally they reached Vivec and once again he was given the gift of unconsiousness. When he awoke chains bound his wrists. The Dunmer gulped and looked around. Mortal races, but dressed in black robes and black hoods. Each bore a smile of anticipation. They began chanting the words of the spell, beside him on another stone table lie Evangeline and next to her was J'skooma. The pain, the anguish, the despair of the magic was intense, his screams filled the halls.

When he awoke, his skin dark and gray as usual, he noticed a puddle and looked into it. He was normal. Surprised he looked to the side and noticed Evangeline and J'skooma. The Khajiit breathed steadily, as did the Breton. "What happened," the shadow knight pondered. A blanket covered the breton, and he pulled it off. Her body was like a skeleton, just like her face as he noticed.

She opened her mouth and weakly said, "You passed out before the worst of it, J'skooma was immune to the torture, due to his many secrets he hid from us, and you for whatever reason were blessed enough to not to take the torture after you blacked out." She paused to take a deep breath, her voice was weak and brittle, "They tore at my mind, but it resisted, however they succeeded in aging my body."

The Dunmer let a tear roll down his face and fall onto his chest. Finally after a long pause, "Do you want me to, kill you?" The gray-haired breton nodded weakly. He gently stroked her hair and kissed the woman's lips. The mer muttered a spell and watched the Breton die, tears rolled down his eyes. "I'll kill those bastards, all of them, then I'll ressurect her as a wraith, we'll be happy forever," Tanys thought with rage.

Oh, I thought they were going to be necromancers! Lol. Great write Zalphon!!!

You still have quite a creative concept going here.

Oh no! Not Evangeline! Surely you must bring her back! Surely this must be a bad dream!




much




The two clauses that make up this sentence are unrelated. I would recommend therefore, that you break this into two sentences.

Chapter Eleven: J'skooma's Secrets

A tall dunmer walked in, his eyes told a long tale of his life of treachery, lies, and deception. He wore long black robes that fell to his feet, following him were two dremora wearing the standard daedric armor. "I'm sorry," the black-robed dark elf said as he looked around. "I did this to her, it was my master's bidding." Tanys looked at him, the knight's eyes were still wet with tears. He turned his gaze to the woman he loved and once again gently kissed her lips. Finally after a long pause he stood up.

The Conjuror sighed, "My master can save her, if you're willing to serve." Bloodsong kneeled, and felt a burning hot tear fall from his face to the ground. The shadow knight looked around the barren room and then at Evangeline. Her skin was extremely pale. J'skooma looked at them and shrugged. The Khajiit would follow the crusader to the ends of Oblivion, and would do so gladly. The Dremora gripped their blades tightly.

"What must I do for your 'master'" He asked. The glum look on the mage's face turned to a weak smile. He stepped aside and there was a door, and in came Mephala. The Daedric Prince took the form of a young altmeri girl. The girl wore coarse linens and had a frown. Her eyes were unlike the rest of her body, they were like gateways into an ancient story. Bloodsong looked at Evangeline and finally the god.

"I have a simple task," she said. "Bring me the soul of Sheogorath, for he is a thorn in my side. His madness defies my weaving of the fate of mortals." J'skooma stepped forward. For the first time ever, the knight noticed he had a serious look on his face. The Khajiit pulled back his hood and glumly looked into the eyes of the fate-weaver. The high elf backed away in fear. Sir Bloodsong simply observed.

"A daedric prince afraid of J'skooma, what madness is this," the Knight wondered. Finally he just watched the two fight a mind-game. Neither moved, they both just stood there staring. Finally Mephala averted her gaze. The two walked out of the room into the door. They were in Dementia, Shivering Isles. The Mad Mage knew, this was where he lost everything that meant anything to him. Now both Sir Bloodsong and J'skooma would seek what they desired. Both had the same goal, but far different rewards.

J'skooma looked back at the Dunmer, "What happens here, when we fight the Mad-God will change Tamriel forever, and I do promise, Tamriel will change." The dark coloration of Dementia added more ominousness to what the Khajiit said. The shadow knight looked at his friend and after several minutes finally said something.

"For many years you've followed me, now we'll destroy the Prince of Madness," he said. "Evangeline will be back, and we'll finally complete the tasks for Mannimarco, and be free." The Wizard looked at him with a look of pity. For several moments the magi sat there thinking.

Finally after a considerable amount of time passed, the insane one said, "After I kill Sheogorath, I want you to kill me, if you don't you'll see my true power. Something you'll never want to see, I promise you that. You saw Mannimarco rise to power, watched Dagoth Ur get felled by the Nerevarine, and have seen the Avatar of Akatosh fight Mehrunes Dagon, none of those things is near as horrible as I am...well was."

The Knight shoved his blade in the ground, "I swear it, Brother." Tears were rolling down his face as he said the words, he'd kill his best friend, but to do what? Only time would tell...

Holy Cow Zalphon! That was Awesome! You have really done something with that time off you took, you deserve the most improved writer award, and I hope you get it !!!! Awesome write!!!

Whew! Ok. At least you have a plan to bring Evangeline back.

Pretty effective build up of suspense here and some nice imagery. :goodjob:

No editorial grammar/typo nits noted!

Whoa! :throwaparty:

Good story. Very good.

I would just like to say, "Thank You." to the following people: mALX1 and Acadian, you're both the people who keep reading my stories and I just want to say thank you. You've been with me through good times (now) and bad times (when I started), and that means a lot. You read as my first fanfiction hero fought through impossible odds and (rediculously) won without a scratch (Wow, they sound like the Knights of the Thorn from Oblivion). Now you read as my newest heroes fight through horrifying battles, face deep scars, mentally (J'skooma), physically (Evangeline), and emotionally (Tanys).

I just wanted to let you guys know, you're one of the reasons I made it this far. Acadian for your deep criticism, and mALX for you just cheering the characters and me on. mALX you have a fondness of Zalphon, one of my first protagonists. If he were real, he'd kneel before you, recognizing a gold heart. Acadian if the (in)famous Gold-Heart was here, she'd bow before your intellect. And to both of you, J'skooma would just laugh wildly and slash his staff in thin air (he is one of the funnest to right, after all he has at least made a guest appearance in all my fanfics except the first).

Zalphon - you are as Awesome a person as you are a creative thinker! I seriously hope you win the most improved writer, you absolutely deserve it 100%. You are right, I have a strong fondness for Zalphon, you have developed his character so well that he lives and breathes, your plots are some of the most interesting on the FF, and your chapters show improvements each post. You earn the praise you get from me, I don't give it where I don't feel it. I think you totally ROCK !!

Aww... :wub: You're making me blush under my helm; I hope my blonde ponytail doesn't come out. You have a fertile imagination Zalphon, and work tirelessly. 'Tis a pleasure to be in your corner and watch you grow. Merry Christmas!

Buffy sends: "Oh, cheese-imps are yummy! Try 'em with Tamika's. Just make sure you don't confuse 'em with imp chips!"

Chapter Twelve: J'skooma's Secret Part II

The journey to New Sheoth was silent. The sun was in the sky, but was sinking in the east. The darkness of Dementia gave a feeling of despair. Underneath the heavy armor, Tanys had beads of sweat covering his body. J'skooma didn't complain, just walked. "Brother, what are you trying to hide from me," Sir Bloodsong asked. "And why won't you tell me?"

The khajiit stopped and slowly turned around. His eyes had a milky-blue film over them. The mage hissed, "You shall never see it, as long as I live. Child, I have walked Tamriel for ages, my curse will be shown in due time." The Dunmer gulped in anxiety. Finally the grand city of New Sheoth appeared on the horizon. The sun had set, leaving little light. Finally he arrived at the gates.

The two dark seducers asked, "Who are you?" Their bodies were thin and dark, malnourished by the mad-god. They were young for daedra. Long ebon locks of hair fell down to their briasts and shoulder blades. Dark eyes inspected the two intruders of the Isles.

The Mad-Wizard hissed, "You fools, it is I, the Duke of Dementia." They were shivering in fear. Hastily one of them pulled open the gate. To their fear, J'skooma was muttering under his breath, but then came a halt. The shadow knight stepped in front of him, with his fingers on the sword.

"Th-thank you, kni-knight," one of the daedra cried. Tears rolled down her cheeks like a river. The two walked into Crucible and the citizens jumped for shelter as they looked at the robed one. Finally they reached the palace, and even the proud golden saint stepped aside as the fur-covered humanoid walked through. On the throne sat Sheogorath. Right in front of him was the Prince of Order who drove his blade deep into the chest of the Mad-God.

Blue flame engulfed the lifeless corpse and an odd red mist came. The Destroyer of the Mad-God kneeled as the khajiit walked towards the crimson fog. The khajiit inhaled much of it in, and with his last breath hissed, "Kill me now." As much as Tanys wanted to, he couldn't kill him, he just stood there with burning hot tears rolling down his face.

The khajiit dissapeared in a flash of light, and in his place was a dark elf dressed in ebony armor, wielding an ebony longsword and ebony tower shield. The Dunmer had long white hair and frowned, "I told you to kill me, why didn't you." His voice was think with dissapointment and anger.

"I wouldn't, no I couldn't," Bloodsong managed to spit out. Fear was in his voice, but he had his fingers tightly wrapped around the hilt of his blade. J'skooma walked towards him, a long ebon cape flowing behind him.

For a second, the dark elf just stood there thinking then finally he stated loudly, "Tanys Bloodsong, I am a god. Sheogorath cursed me with madness, and as you can see, Jyllalag freed me for J'skooma's servitude."

Sir Bloodsong needed a second to absorb his friend was actually a divine being. For several minutes he just stood there and thought. Finally the deity grabbed his sword and said aloud, "Tanys, I am, a much older version of you, thousands of years in fact. I have seen empires rise and fall, gods fight, civilizations crumble, and you--we're the cause of the end of Nirn. Akatosh sent me back to kill you--us." The elderly dunmer took in a deep breath, "He sent me back five-hundred years before you were born, so I took the form of J'skooma for five-hundred long years, helping various heroes in their quests."

"But--," the younger version of Tanys said.

"Worry not, it's about to be over," his older self interrupted. He rose his ebony blade above his head and brought it down on his younger self. The young Dunmer was dead, the elder one was soon, but he had one thing to do first. Muttering under his breath, the God of Order dissapeared, and the God of Madness was reborn.

Suddenly the surviving dunmer morphed into an old woman, of dunmeri origins. She smiled weakly happily, the Ashlander Woman killed him. Bursting through the door was a khajiit in a tattered gray robe. He hissed, "Tanys--Dead, your fault, now you die." After muttering under his breath a large flaming ball of molten rock bashed into the woman. The real J'skooma hugged his dead friend. Suddenly the palace roof started to collapse upon itself.

The khajiit was crushed by a falling piece...

He awoke in Balmora and looked around. A heavy object was in a pocket of his robe, he pulled it out and there was a letter.

Dear J'skooma,

It is I, Tanys, if you're reading this then I am dead. I'd just like to let you know in the short time we adventured together, you were a great friend. I also want you to know that even though I am dead, my spirit will always be with you.

Sincerely, Tanys.

Out of nowhere appeared a wraith with a rather cheerful smile on it's transparent face. It said loudly, "Only you can see me, and only you can hear me, it's Tanys."

J'skooma sighed deeply, "I don't believe in ghosts." Suddenly it dissapeared.

Well, your creativity is certainly on display here! Very interesting.


thick // disappointment



'the elder one soon would be' ??



disappeared



The beginning of the second sentence needs a connective conjunction, I believe. Perhaps, 'She smiled weakly but happily'

The 12 Chapters of the Shadow Knight are complete.

As are the 12 Days of X-mas.

I hope you enjoyed this tale, because the next one will be interesting. About a young quarter-breton, three-fourths bosmer, noble who abandons her riches in search of a life in the Imperial Legion.

That sounds great Zalphon, and this chapter was Awesome! I hope you are enjoying your holidays!!

Indeed, it seems an interesting tale, though perhaps a bit longer of an introduction would serve for a better start Congratulations, and merry Christmas.

Zalphon has requested a close.