The Smith Family

Post » Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:53 am

Prologue

The year is 2292, much changed since the boss took over this old military base, Mariposa Military Base. My boss is named David Smith, and his father was some vault-crime lord named Kyle Smith. I am a capo, or in what used to be italian, a captain. I am indeed a Made Man of the Smith Family. I was born and raised in the streets of NCR, then Victor found me.

Victor was a soldier (and a Made Man) in Kyle's Mafia. Gladly I joined. I was bathed in the blood of many from that day on. I was a hit-man, a soldier, whatever Kyle needed me to be. Finally I met David. He was a bit older than me, wore a fine, black, pin-stripe suit and carried around a laser pistol. Unlike the old families of New Reno, we carried high-tech weaponry.

I was born about twenty years ago. Notice I say about, my mother abandoned me when I was four and I never knew my father. David was like a mentor to me, he taught me the basic skills needed to survive gun-fights, to hack high-security terminals, pick locks, perform first aid, and the other stuff I'd need in my profession. Life changed a lot after Kyle died, he was like a father to all of us. The man almost died when NCR raided the base protecting me. He always thought of me as David's little brother, although I don't know why.

Anyways, now to my story...

David buzzed over the intercom, "Brian, get to my office on level 3."

Obediently, I walked to the elevator. I did enjoy the perks of being a captain. I wore a black, pinstripe suit, carried a plasma pistol, and looked great in my black fedora. When the elevator doors opened, two of the soldiers pointed plasma rifles in my face. The taller one grunted, "Move. David isn't happy."

With a gun pointed to my face, I walked. All made men wore suits, but these soldiers weren't in suits. They were in T-51b Power Armor. I walked over to David's desk. Signs of aging were showing, he was getting in his mid-forties. His goatee was starting to gray, as well as his hair. His eyes were duller and his eyes had darker circles.

"Brian, what in the name of my father gives you the idea that you are allowed to kill that man in Junktown?" he barked. His voice was getting hoarse, probably due to how much he smoked. Unlike his father, it was rare for him to not have a cigarette in his mouth. His father never smoked, or even drank. Although, I swear Kyle liked Nuka-Cola just a little too much.

"That son of a super mutant bad-mouthed Kyle," I explained. "Kyle was a great man, I owed him that."

"Sandra Darkwater almost had your head for that," David growled beastily.

"Hey, why are they in power armor?"

"When we finally take over Vault City, we'll want to be well-armed and armored. NCR is going to strike us for it, due to their membership with them thanks to the Old Bishop family," David explained. "We need you to infiltrate the Brotherhood of Steel Bunker, Lost Hills and send us the schematics for this special Power Armor Mk. II made by the Enclave."

"You want me to infiltrate the base of the Steel Knights that has been lost for better part of a century?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, you can do it," he hissed. "Or Rick and Francis will burn you to goo, your choice. And do remember, when you leave if you fail or try to cheat me... The Lone Wanderer was killed by me. So don't try it, or I will end your miserable life."

I sighed, "Yes sir, I'll head to NCR immediately and look for some answers."

"Excellent," David smiled.

I walked to the elevator, pressed the #1 button and waited as the elevator rose. Then I left, ready to find the Lost Hills...
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Patrick Gordon
 
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Post » Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:39 pm

First off, welcome to Fan Fic forums.

This was a nice start to what looks like a great read. I really can't find much that is wrong.

He was a bit older than me, wore a fine, black, pin-stripe suit


Something about that sentence bugs me, but it's really late right now so maybe it's just me. Other than that I've got nothing, looking forward to see where you take this.
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Jessica Nash
 
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Post » Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:29 pm

Edit: (cause I don't know how to do the quote thingy).

Quote
"He was a bit older than me, wore a fine, black, pin-stripe suit..."

instead of that, it should be:
He was a bit older than me; wore a fine black pinstripe suit.

you don't NEED the commas and these things (;) come in handy in this context (forgot the name). :facepalm:

btw welcome, im new here too
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MatthewJontully
 
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Post » Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:45 am

Thank you, I am glad for the criticism. Please, if you find even the most minute error, point it out to me. I strive to improve, I can only improve with good critics.
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Cheryl Rice
 
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Post » Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:53 am

Chapter One: The Way of the Wastes

When I stepped out of that elevator to the surface and it closed shut behind me. Out in the horizon I saw a mole rat and a radscorpion fighting. The way of the wasteland was that the stronger survived. It wasn't fair, the mole rat didn't choose to be a mole rat, it just was. The radscorpion had the upper hand on most things, except deathclaws, raiders, and some of the other factions.

I took a few steps on the old asphalt road; the rusty chain-link fence still stood. My legs began moving and I scanned around me. The Master's mutants were long-gone, but State of Utholpia remnants took their place. The old raider gangs like the Khans, the Vipers, and the others were just history now. However, the newer gangs were more vicious like the Sadists, the Banes, and the Klaws. I didn't like any of them, they were all scum.

The sun was high in the sky and its heat was searingly-hot. For hours I walked; my feet ached, but I was used to it. Riding in a Chryslus Highwayman came a man dressed in metallic-gray armor. Not power armor, I think it was Metal Armor MK. II. The driver stepped out and hissed, "Give me your caps."

I reached for my gun and pulled the trigger in his face. My Glock 86 Plasma Pistol left a hole where his eyes were supposed to be. I searched the corpse and retrieved some caps, a nine millimeter pistol, and some empty jet-containers in his pockets. I didn't want the armor, it was too heavy. I checked the trunk and found some microfusion cells, I would need these to power this thing.

I stepped into the driver's seat and began to drive. The feel of the wind going through my hair was nice, I knew the way to NCR and turned the car around. It only took me about an hour of driving to reach NCR, where I parked in the bazaar. One of the New California Rangers in the Bazaar asked me, "Who the Hell are you?"

"Brian, Brian Stevens. Can I help you?" I responded. It left the super-mutant in a state of dismay. A polite waster? Unheard of. The large, green humanoid nodded and walked away. In these parts, a good attitude would get you farther than a gun most times. NCR had the best police force on the west coast and an amazing military.

When I walked towards the entry into downtown the police officer asked, "What's your business?"

"Information," I lied. "I'm looking for my father, Samuel."

"Fine," the Officer growled. He turned around and shut off the force-field. Hastily I walked in. NCR was huge compared to when President Tandi was in office. The Statue of the Vault Dweller was the center of the town and it had expanded a lot. There were several bars, more merchants than I could count, they had a power-generation plant, a regrowable food source from an old vault, I think Vault 15, and a water purifier from a vault.

Crowds of people were in the streets, either watching street shows from sword eaters, duelists, actors, or some other charismatic person. I had to wade through the people, because there were so many. Downtown also led to the Residential Quarters, the Auctioning Room, the Ranger Den, the Temple District, and several other sectors.

NCR was to say the very least, a metropolis compared to the small village of Shady Sands it used to be. Hell, it was a metropolis compared to the Hub. If I was to find our informant in here, it would take me a few days, even weeks...
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Laura Shipley
 
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Post » Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:39 am

Anyone notice the lore/gameplay references to the older Fallouts?
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Jack Walker
 
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