To who is the question.

Why yes, of course she is! Can't you tell by my short stature and long pointy ears? (Not to mention my sometimes goofy personality )



Should be to whom... (I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself... if I get annoying, just slap me. That should straighten me out...)

Yes I know its hard not to notice.

Schmut E. Buncis is a abuser/slapper of women. Let me do the job, lol.

okay, now you're messing with me... :frog:

*slaps*

The Debut de la Duchess du Dementia; Yes, I speak French

So, our heroes found themselves at a nearby boating house. Broken-Scale had already left the group to get hammered on some waves; yes, that is surfer lingo, I even looked it up to give his character more depth, okay? Broken-Scale was already at the island; he was a naturally fast swimmer, what with the webs and all. Anyways, he was hanging off the rocks in the back of the island; more on that later.

As Broken-Scale clung to those rocks like a wet t-shirt clings to a... nevermind, that is off-topic and inappropriate for these forums. As Broken-Scale clung to those rocks like Carro was clinging onto Tran the Gan, the rest of the group was securing a ferry to the island. "Oi, you bloody [censored]," Schmut E. demanded, "I demand a boat, crikey!" The boatman wasn't a helpful sort of fellow; he was one of those guys that jerks you around with "No, you should call this number," so you call the number, and oh, wait, "You need to call this number," and so on and so forth.

So this guy was totally screwing about with our heroes, and Tran the Gan was getting quite angered. "Listeneth here, you cowardly rouge," he eloquently elaborated, "If I, Tran the Gan, do not acquire a boat within five seconds, your head shall be my foot rest for this evening." That was a threat, by the way. "Bwahahaha! What sort of name is Tran the Ga-" began the boatman, who was subsequently interrupted by Tran the Gan's magnificent blade, The Shiniest Blade of all the Lands, as it began to drink from his throat. Also, the blade was a vampire, somehow.

"Make haste, good sires! For milady is in dire need of these vapors!" Tran the Gan vocabulated! And so, the men piloted the boat out to the island; five loading screens later, they arrived. As they clim-ed up the path, they heard a sensual voice emanate from the glowing blue gate that marked the entrance to the Shivering Isles.

Honestly, it isn't even cold there. Like, half of the place is sunny, so it must be warm, and the other half is a swamp, so it must be humid. What the hell, Sheogorath? I know you're insane, but a liar? And you have a beard, so you must be hot all the time. You know it is true, damn it!

Anyways, the Sensual Voice called out to the three men and one unconscious woman. "Hello, my little hot-cakes! Lookin' for a good time!" The group arrived at the top of the path; however, no one was to be found. "What trickery is this? My ears have forsaken me!" shouted Tran the Gan, as he lovingly set Carro upon a nearby sacrificial platform. Suddenly, an incredibly attractive group of women appeared in front of the group; just about 90 percent of them had darkish skin, whereas one of them was a Bosmer, but not in a "Crotch-Exploding" kind of way. Actually, yes, she was. And I was referencing Captain Rexulius Yautja Xenomorphicalus with that last line, perverts, and how he had killed that one Bosmer outside of the arena by exploding his crotch.

So, the Bosmer woman appeared to be like some sort of beautiful work of art, whereas the other women weren't that bad looking either. Tran the Gan drew his blade, The Shiniest Blade of all the Lands, and pointed it directly at the Bosmer who had just appeared. "Schwing!" cried the mighty sword; also, the Bosmer woman's guards drew their blades as well, but with less sound effects. "My Mazken! Kill the interlopers!" shouted the Bosmer woman.

Let me take a minute to explain something here. It appears that this Bosmer woman had gone from being incredibly hot and wanting to speak very amicably with our heroes, to being incredibly hot and wanting to kill out heroes. This is because she was majorly paranoid about everything. Like, really, really paranoid. But at least she looked damn fine while doing it!

Now we come to the fight scene! The Son, who had been standing about, also drew his weapon; it was basically a chain-sickle, but with more chains and knives. Schmut E. leveled his Staff of Swelling; also, this story is getting really, really dirty, really, really fast, so I'm going to say that the Staff was actually a Staff of Fireballs. The Mazken, with a ferocious/arousing roar, lept into battle with the three men, as the Bosmer woman cowered behind a nearby rock.

"Oi! Take this on for size, bruv!" shrieked Schmut E. as he threw his staff into the air; the two Mazken he had entered combat with followed the Staff's path. Schmut E. proceeded to backhand both of them across their pretty faces, which, of course, sent them into an immediate fatal attraction with the good-looking scholar.

The Son, meanwhile, had viciously killed sixteen of the Mazken with his chain sickle. Also, that was all of the Mazken. You know what? It was a short fight because I am saving the really good fight for when the Master of Blades shows up in the next entry. So just hold your pants, okay? You got Schmut E. slapping a couple of Mazken, and that is pretty freaking good, if you ask me.

The Bosmer woman had the unconscious Carro at hammerpoint. "Don't move, or this beautiful one gets a faceful of hammer!" she sensually moaned; yes, she can do that, because that is how she rolls. Naturally, the men didn't want Carro to be injured, so they didn't move one bit. Except, of course, for rock-clinging Broken-Scale.

"Cowabunga, bros!" shrieked Broken-Scale as he flung himself through the air. Raising his Spear of Chaos, Broken-Scale pointed it at the Bosmer woman's hammer, which instantly turned into a fluffy rabbit, who shall be named Mr. Fluffy Rabbitsons the Third. Tran the Gan leapt to his feet, and detained the Bosmer woman with one hand (she was very slim about the waist).

"Now, dear lady, give me these two things: some vapors and thy name!" Tran the Gan exclaimed. "Hahahaha," laughed the woman, "my name is Lady Syl, and I don't have any vapors... but I do have something better, for one as handsome as you..." Lady Syl reached into her bodice....

What could she have? Find out in the next entry! Also, The Master of Blades makes his debut!

:rofl: This was great! Keep it up!

Alright, so the three things that are going to arrive shortly (later today, since it is just about 1 AM on the East Coast), are the debut of the Master of Blades, a love-scene between three of the characters, and Captain Rexulius Yautja Xenomorphicalus' encounter with N. I. Exclamation Point.

Soon, we'll be arriving at the birth of Pepjiit; so far, only one of the necessary components has been collected. Then, I can see trouble brewing. A war, perhaps?

I like where this is going

Can't wait for the next installment hopefully Captain Rexulius Yautja Xenomorphicalus is in it.

:rofl: I love this story man

You're a hell of a comedy writer MT. Lady Syl is right this is like Elder Scrolls meets Monty Python, wrapped in random hilarity lol.

:rofl: Indeed. Lol, Captainrex has an exploding crotch

Tran The Gan would totally have crotcheth envy....eth.

Alright, so here is a more detailed look of what you people can expect from tonight's entries:

1. Captain Rexulius Yautja Xenomorphicalus crosses a bridge, makes a friend, and ends up getting a curse placed on him by a witch or some magic [censored] like that.

2. Lady Syl pulls something useful out of her bodice, and becomes "friends" with a member of the Group of Heroes.

3. The Son gets the next component in his quest to find the perfect sugary beverage, and a newcomer threatens the Group.

4. The Master of Blades confronts two of the characters; a fight ensues.

Really, though, the first entry will be about 1 and 4, second entry will be about 2 and 3. I'll have them up later tonight, probably same time (8-11 PM on the East Coast), and I might even get to the romance scene between three of the characters, in the third entry. How about this: whomever guesses correctly as to the three characters gets to write a guest line for one of the characters in the romance.

Woot! Can't wait! ^_^

This is my guess.

The Son

Tran the Gan

Carro Tsandwich

:hubbahubba: Ooh, quite the romance scene that would be, eh?

Rex, you are incredibly close. But not quite...

Perhaps the most interesting guess will get the line... we'll see. I'd say a more concrete time-frame for the update will be around 10 or 11, if all goes well.

I'm gonna say Tran The Gan, Carro, and Broken Scale just for an interesting guess haha.

Real Guess: Hmmm... Either Syl or maybe Schmuty?

Carro

The Gan

Syl

Imma say Tran the Gan, Carro and Syl.

Macharius, I see you down there. You're going to replace Captain Rexulius Yautja Xenomorphicalus. Also, both Ni! and Carrot answered correctly, and at the exact same time, so they both get to write a line. Trannigan also answered correctly, and before both of you, so he gets a line as well. Pick a character, write a funny/romance line, then PM it to me. I'll write up the romance section as soon as I have all three of them.

So no Broken-Scale, Syl and Carro action? :sadvaultboy: Dammit . . .

Eww... who wants to be with a lizard?