If it makes ya feel any better my first guess was Carro, The Gan, and Broken Scale. Lmao.

Um, all the cool people?



Nothing can assuage Broken-Scale's broken heart. :cryvaultboy:

Not even spears? :celebration:

Schmut E attracts both men and women ya know. . .

lol this should be interesting...



Aww, maybe next time.



It's true, you know. Just look at his profile...

A few things before the next entry (Captain Rexulius Yautja Xenomorphicalus meets the Bridge Troll (also known as the Entry from Hell, because I am tired of writing their names out....)). I'm thinking that this will be entry two, and the love scene will be entry one. After that, I'll have anyone else reading this besides Ni!, Carrot, and Trannigan participate in the next contest, which will be "Guess who wrote which line." I'm thinking the prize will be a few lines for your character. So, onto the love scene.

Sur le Island - Yes, that is even more French, which sort of fits, because it is the language of love

So, where/when we last left off, Lady Syl was rummaging around in her bodice - is that the proper term? I can't even remember... Whatevs, that is besides the point. It was very attractive, the way she was doing it - and, currently, she had pulled out a bottle of what else, but vapors!

Honestly, I detest contrived plot devices like this, and you probably realize how contrived it actually is, so that is why I am going to distract you now with a graphic mild depiction of a romance scene.

Lady Syl uncorked the bottle suggestively with her teeth, then put the cork in her mouth, moved her tongue around, and spit out a tied cherry stem. Yeah, that is how skilled she is. Turned cork into a cherry stem. Naturally, the men were quite hot and bothered, aside from Schmut E., who was busy fending off the advances of the two Mazken he had slapped across the face. "Oi, Broken-Scale, get these dames offa me!" he shrieked like a little girl as the two clawed at his rippling physique. "Dude, like, I'll totally help with that," said Broken-Scale, who immediately began to help with that. The Son, meanwhile, was investigating a nearby fountain of some white powder.

Anyways, Tran the Gan was still concerned about the still-unconscious Carro. "Lady Syl, can you use those vapors to help this poor damsel in distress?" questioned Tran the Gan as he blatantly eyed Syl's bodice, if you know what I mean. Look, a man has needs, and Tran the Gan was still a virgin, okay? Now he was confronted with two incredibly beautiful women, and that was getting him all hot and bothered.

"Anything for you, hot stuff," responded Syl as she sensually poured the vapors onto Carro's face or something. I don't know how vapors work, so why don't you just imagine it yourself, you little pervert. I know what you are thinking. Bad! Bad! To continue, Carro immediately awokened, and almost fainted again, what with the beauty of the two people surrounding her. "So," Syl propositioned, "while those three are busy, how about we get busy ourselves?"

First line, served up hot and spicy: Impressed at her offer, Lord Gan oiled back his already oiled hair, which now contained more oil than Saudi Arabia, but he made sure to save some for his Gentlemen's area. Second line, equally hot and spicy: "Tell me fairest maidens, have either of you ever yearned to take a gaze upon white gold tower?" he asked with a suggestive grin.

The two maidens blushed, and both started to titter, whatever the hell that means. Seriously, why can't you just say "laughed" or "giggled" or "another synonym for laughed." Crikey, that isn't tubular at all. And yes, I just used surfer and Aussie slang there. Remember, I did, not the two men who were currently fending off the advances of the Mazken.

So, the two lovely ladies and Tran the Gan got down to business, probably in a hidden cove somewhere. It was all going very smoothly (thanks to Tran the Gan's oil), but then something ran amiss. Also, that something was the third line. "Short people don't have feelings!" said Carro, directing her insult at the currently de-robed Syl, who had mentioned something about having feelings. "Why you little harlet!" shrieked Syl, at the fully clothed Carro. "Ladies, ladies," said Tran the Gan as he oiled back his hair.

"I'm leaving!" cried out Carro; she had never been called a "little harlet" before, so her feelings were quite hurt. Anyways, Syl and Tran the Gan continued on with their business.

Meanwhile, Carro had returned to the slumhole of Bravil, where she found a mysterious stranger awaiting for her. BUT WHO COULD IT BE???

Did you guess the writers of the three lines? Post now for a chance to win a fabulous prize! Warning: fabulous prize isn't that fabulous at all. Fees apply to all non-US residents.

Carrot wrote the first, Ni! the second and Tranni the third! he he he

Wait...



Damnit.

1st line-Carrot

2nd line- Ni!

3rd line-Trannigan


These are my guesses.

:lmao: :lmao: That chapter was worth the wait tonight.

1 - Trannigan.

2 - Ni!

3 - Carrot

If those are correct, can Broken-Scale to get a love interest?

Oh geez, I almost fell of my chair! Haha, nice work.

Neither of you got it right, but out of the pity of my innards, you both get to have something happen to your characters.

Broken-Scale, I grant you the wish of a love interest. Rex, you can have something good happen to Rexulius, within reason. Okay, here is the good stuff happening to BS and CRYX. Also, I'm trying my damnedest to figure out how to make Rex a corrupt cop without breaking any of the forum's rules. It ain't easy, dear readers...

The Good Stuff

Broken-Scale had subdued one of the Mazken (the other was busy holding Schmut E.'s hand as they watched the sunset together (Aww, isn't that just adorable? Love is such a magical thing...)) when he noticed how beautiful she truly was. "Dudette, you're like, totally hectic..." he said to her. "Simple mortal! You are below my station," she replied, "and yet... I feel the same way." The two began to realize that love knows no boundaries, and even a hideous reptile freak can fall in love for an immortal blue-skinned demon.

"Hold me close," she whispered, "life is so difficult sometimes." "Shh, dudette, you're alright now," he whispered back, as he caressed her hair, "you've got me..." So, the two of them had instantly fallen in love; Schmut E., on the other hand, was simply using his Mazken because he is a cold, heartless bastard.

The thing about Schmut E. was that he could never truly feel love; rather, all he felt in his blackened, twisted, shriveled pile of garbage of a heart was contempt for his fellow man. In fact, the only people he actually liked were our group of heroes, but he was quickly wearing thin, even about that.

What, you think it was going to be all butterflies and unicorns? No, that isn't how life works, kiddos. Sad to say, but it is true. But lets just imagine Broken-Scale and his Mazken falling in love.... so magical. Oh, I'm so lonely... even a semi-fictional character can find true love... Why do you mock me, cruel world?

Anyways, enough of that.

Meanwhile, Back at the Bridge (also known as, the post from hell/where I have lost my patience, cursed past Master Thief for what he has done, and stop using Rex's full name)

Meanwhile, Rex was no longer Captain blah blah blah whatever-icalus. He was now just plain Rex, for he no longer had a title. Sad to say, but that is what you get for being a patsy in Ocato's scheme.

Oh, crap, did I just ruin the overarching story plot I was going to have with Rex? Uh, um, I meant that there was no plot at all. Yeah, that is it.... no plot at all.

So, Rex had arrived at the bridge that our heroes had crossed a few weeks earlier; poor Rex's life wasn't that good at all. He'd lost his job, armor, ladies... but he still had his strength and intelligence. "Who could have slain those maidens in my bedchambers as I was lying there wasted?" he pondered to the world aloud, "and who could have poisoned the city's water supply with Skooma.... hmmmmm....."

All of a suddenly, a small but ferocious Troll appeared out of nowhere. "Y pose to you a challenges three-" Rex kicked the Troll in its head. "Shut up, stupid beast, or I shall flay the very flesh from your hide!" The Troll began to cry. "Oh, Y was just tryyng to make fryends... nobody lykes me... ys yt because of my speech ympedyment? Or ys yt because Y dydn't have any parents growyng up?" blubbered the hapless Troll, "or ys yt because of the curse place upon my corporeal form?"

"Quiet, beast," Rex soothingly said, "for I too never had any parents, and had an awful lisp as I grew up. You shall tell me of this curse upon your bones, because we are kindred spirits. Who cursed you, good Troll?" "Yt was a Hygh Elf; he had a magycal styck, and sayd hys name was Ocato." "OCATOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Rex, like from that one Star Trek movie. "It all makes sense now; he must have been in on the ploy to kick me out; how else would he have known about the bodies?" Rex smashed his powerful hand into the cobblestones of the bridge. "Quickly, Troll, has anyone passed this way? I'm looking for a powerful man... he is said to be a Master of Blades."

"Yes, yes, Y saw a man just lyke that pass by; he was followyng a group of travelers, yncludyng the most pretty maiden Y'd ever seen yn my entyre lyfe." answered N. I.

"Make haste! We must be off; I shall need the aid of this 'Blademaster,' in order to fight against the schemes of Ocato!" Rex lifted the Troll upon his shoulders and took off down the path with the speed of a panther who is on fire.

Which would be pretty awesome, if you ask me.

Next up: The Master of Blades confronts Carro Tsandwich; Broken-Scale proposes; The Son's quest begins anew

I like. :rofl:

You should make a Fallout one

1. Ni!

2. Carrot

3. Tranningan

So I'm a heartless bastard with no room for love? (Rhetorical question here, buddy.)

I approve of Broken-Scale's new lady friend. I always liked the Mazken.

This is so good. No not good awesome.

Hell yes. It radiates with awesome bruz!

Both of these newest chapters were HILARIOUS! :rofl: Truly, I haven't laughed this hard in quite awhile. My baby is asleep in my arms, and I'm amazed he hasn't waken from all the laughing those chapters have caused! I love this story! ^_^

Alright, no new entries tonight; I certainly could have typed some up, but I've decided to wait for a Friday mega-bonus helping of awesomeness. Five whole entries, all about as long as the love scene, is what I'm promising. Of course, I could use some help, and you've proven yourselves as excellent co-authors, so I'm giving you all the chance to send me a line for the debut of the Master of Blades. It can be serious, funny, extravagant... any of them.

Also, to give credit where credit is due: Ni!'s line was the first one; Trannigan's was the second; and Carrot's was the last.

Master of Blades meets the giant black bear called Rohugh that wears a dead rich mans tip hat. Rohugh kidnaps children and throws them into the dungeon known as Banmania.

LOL this I would love to see! :laugh:

It's Friday here :stare:

Exactly.You give me withdrawls man!

Who is known for wielding his ban-hammer ofcourse. :biggrin:

Perhaps some time in the story the son might run across a rival (whatever race you decide) hawking a different sugary beverage, made from dew of mountains. :teehee: Ofcourse that is the drink of unbelievers so the hero must put a stop to it.

I like

Oh, we should all encounter our alter egos after falling in a children-eating portal called the Mysterious Place of Nowhere!

Or. . .

Captain Rex and N.I. arrive in Bravil and are hot on the trail of Master of Blades.