Chapter Five

"But Ralas, you must understand. I cannot do this on my own," Acerbus said. Ralas merely shook his head, refusing to allow Jena to accompany him on the journey. Acerbus slammed his fist on the wobbly, faded table. He moved towards Ralas. "Why are you so damned stubborn? Just let her go. She'll do no harm to the mission."

"No! This is your assignment. You can do it on your own. Having a person along will only hinder your progress against those beasts," Ralas answered calmly. "Now go. You will leave for the ruin they call Menyandasil on Sundas; it lies on the south bank of the Panther River. The ruin has been said that a small group of werewolves have taken refuge there. Make sure you feed yourself well before you leave, as you will need to get there by nightfall. When you are done with them or you find anything useful, come back and we'll give you your next assignment. "

Acerbus spun on his heel and stormed off from the room. He kept walking briskly towards his room, the only place he knew would grant him the silence he desired.

He pushed open the heavy wooden door and sat down on the edge of his bed. He laid down, needing something to keep his mind in order. Acerbus had been lying there for a few hours, imagining what it would have been like to have met his father. No one had ever had much to say about him, especially his mother. Every time that Acerbus even mentioned him, she would either ignore it or tell him that it was neither the appropriate time nor place for such a discussion.

Jena walked in. "Can I go with you?" Acerbus sat up and went to his chair. He knew this would hurt her. Seeing him sit down, she grabbed a chair and did the same.

"No, Jena. Ralas, that bastard, refused to let you come with me. He said you would only slow me down," Acerbus said. He moved over to his door and would have shut it quietly, had it not creaked. He lowered his voice to a whisper, "But you are coming with me anyways. A few hours before dawn on Sundas, I want you to meet me in the chapel. Keep yourself hidden, understood?"

Jena's face brightened up at the words she had just heard; especially ones that came from Acerbus, as he was never known as a rule breaker. She jumped from her chair and embraced him. "Thank you, Acerbus!" She said, squeezing him ever tighter.

"Jena, you're choking me," he said, grabbing Jena's arms and lowering them gently. She looked up at him and gave him a smirk. Then, she turned and walked from the room. Acerbus could see that she had a little bounce in her step.

+++++

"Ralas, why in Vile's name didn't you tell him about his father? He deserves to know and you will not let it happen. I will tell him, regardless of your decision. I am a Council member, too and my decision weighs just as much as yours," It was J'Keri, still pushing for the truth about Acerbus' father to be told.

Ralas just sat there, drinking from his ruby encrusted goblet. "Go on, J'Keri. Tell him and your death will come quick," He said.

"Damn you, Ralas!" J'Keri strode from the room, robes flapping behind him.

+++++

Acerbus went to the dining hall, all the while ignoring the crude remarks and the nasty glares he received as he moved towards the kitchen. The smell of beef in a cream sauce wafted into his nostrils, warming his bones. If he wasn't mistaken, he thought he detected a flamb? in the making. Acerbus wasn't sure where the council had found vampiric cooks, but he decided he could care less.

Once inside the kitchen, he took a large slab of boar meat and slapped it on top of a silver plate. It had been a long while since he sank his teeth into flesh and the meat would compensate for it. He grabbed a silver mug and a bottle of Tamika's West Weald Wine? modified with a cup of blood.

He sat at his regular table and commenced to feasting on his meal. Then, a messenger strode up to him, threw a sealed letter with the symbol of the Fangs embedded in the wax, and left the room just as fast as he arrived. Acerbus stopped his eating and opened the letter.

I think it's safe to say BSparrow is the critiquing queen. Well, your fifth chapter shows improvement. Good job and keep up the good work!

I like it. There are some things that could be improved but im sure you're going to go somewhere with this story.

what things would need to be improved?

i feel its safe to say that bsparrow hit up on all of that.

Oh and about the poem, I know it might not be very good, but I thought it would add something special to the story.

Chapter Six

Acerbus,
If you wish to know more about your father, come to the dark corner behind the training dummies in the training room at seven a.m. Let no one know of this, understood?

Acerbus refolded the letter and tucked it in his boot. He stood from the table, not bothering to pick up his mess. He was still receiving those nasty glares and angry remarks as he walked by certain tables. Acerbus was getting those things due to him not being the most likeable fellow in the guild and that many believed that Ralas favored him more than the other members. He had no other choice but to ignore them, as fighting and injuring other members was against the rules and guidelines of the guild.

As he left the room, he could hear the screams coming from his blade. They quickly faded away, withdrawing back into its depths. Whoever had sent him that letter must have known him really well. It couldn't have been his mother because she died two years ago. It bothered him only a little but not much, she wasn't really there for him as a child. Acerbus didn't want to bring back his old memories, as many were brutal and emotionally distressing.

He entered his room, looking for his quill and ink. It had been quite some time before he wrote a poem. That was one of Acerbus' many ways to pass the time. He didn't think he was perfectly good at his own literature, but he liked it very much. Acerbus found his quill and ink and sat down at his aged oak table and began to write.

Blood, spilling over the rim of the silver goblet
Flooding the room with its sweet, warm aroma
Filling the nostrils of the luster of blood and
Sliding delicately down his throat, quenching his dire thirst
As the last drop fell from the chalice, his bloodlust was satisfied

Acerbus sat back in his chair, observing his most recent work. He knew it was not something a master poet would write, but it vented Acerbus of his anger and stress, which he seemed to have a lot of lately.

Jena walked in. "Hey, Acerbus. What's with the long face?" She asked jokingly. Acerbus looked up from his parchment and gave her a faint smile. He motioned for her to sit down, which she did rather quickly, so quickly that she nearly fell out of her chair. Acerbus chuckled lightly at her near fall, hoping she would not take it as an insult. "I? I meant to do that, yeah," she stated.

Acerbus went back to answer her question. "I have been rather unsettled lately, feeling as though maybe Ralas wants me dead. I believe that is the reason he won't allow me to bring anyone with me on my assignment. Tell Octavian to do what I told you yesterday, okay? I'll need him as well," He said as he patted Jena on her gloved hand. "I don't like to talk about this but you deserve to know, I've been thinking of my mother and what she would do to me as a child. If I didn't do something just right for her, she would thrash me and lock me in my cramped room. She wanted me to become a killing machine, something that my kind nature would not allow. Every assassination that I have done, I have had some sort of remorse for the person I would send to void of Oblivion itself; be it an Argonian hatchling or a Nordic barbarian.

"I know you may think that is a weakness, but I find it just an emotion that must be overcome and only that I cannot do so. I get my job done and continue with my next assignment. I never left this guild because it is my home and there is no other place left for me to go. My mother is proud, even though she is dead, of what I have become, but I? am not. That is the reason I am so reclusive and reluctant to make friends, as I am afraid of being used only for my abilities and nothing else," Acerbus said, his head hanging. A single tear dropped into his lap, causing him to lift his hood over his head.

Jena sat there, awestruck at what she was told. If only I'd known sooner. She thought to herself. Jena had never heard or seen Acerbus so open before, it didn't worry her but it was a bit strange to see someone so hard and solemn say things like that. Jena stood from the wobbly chair and leaned over to give Acerbus a comforting hug.

Acerbus felt arms wrap gently around his torso, he smiled under his hood, glad that it was Jena who wished to comfort him. He closed his eyes and said, "Thank you, Jena. You truly are a caring person and a great friend. I am glad to have you by my side."

Jena smiled, wishing that Acerbus had something different than that. How she truly loved him, yet he didn't know at all. He was completely oblivious to how she really felt, which made her wish it would come to him soon. She let go of him and moved back. "I'll go tell Octavian about the Sundas," She said as she walked from the room.

Acerbus leaned back in his seat, wiping the chilly stream of tears from his eyes.

Good work. :thumbsup:

The only problem I have is that we haven't seen a physical description of Jena yet (I think) and because it looks like she's going to become a main character (or not....?) I think that's important for me. I like to visualize the characters in the book and their actions when I read, and Jena is like a chunk of unmolded clay at the moment right now.



Also, "come to the dark corner". It seems a little odd to me. Wouldn't a vampire infested cave be filled with dark corners, everywhere. And not just one specific darkened corner in a room?


Keep it up.

"Behind the training dummies in the training room" that is a specific corner though

Chapter Seven

Acerbus was heading towards the training room, seeing nothing along the way. He knew he would be the only one awake, except for the "informer" who should already be behind the dummies. Acerbus was a little fearful of what the informer might say about his father. Would it be nothing but good things or bad? He didn't know.

He neared the training room, pushing open several of the heavy wooden doors and glancing around, making sure he hadn't wakened anyone. Everything was silent, quite unlike the chaos that would quickly and surely envelop the guild once Acerbus completed his first task. The darkness was soothing to him, tenderly caressing him in its cool arms and protecting him from danger.

The door slowly glided open, revealing the training room before him. Acerbus began to walk towards the training mannequin, and with every step he could see the silhouette of a man becoming more and more distinguishable, until he noticed the shape of a cat-like tail swaying involuntarily. He stopped, waiting for the feline to speak.

"Hello, Acerbus. Good to see you again," the voice was unmistakably that of a Khajiit. Acerbus bowed his head, immediately recognizing the tone to be J'Keri's, soft and deep. "Now, let us speak of your father." The shadowy figure moved forward, feeling J'Keri's whiskers graze across his face.

"Your father, Altor, was an important man to the guild. He was the general of the Fangs during the Dark Brotherhood Rebellion and led us to victory. Altor was an excellent swordsman and tactician, giving him a seat on the council. His fame grew within the guild, which led him to meet your mother. They loved one another very much and were married in the chapel above us.

"He grew in power every year, learning more spells and mastering the many styles of swordplay. Altor's power was becoming too much for Ralas, who had brought him into the guild as a child, and Ralas was thrown into the clouding emotion of jealousy. He no longer trusted Altor, afraid that he would eradicate all that he had worked so hard to achieve. Ralas claimed that Altor was a heretic, hell-bent on the destruction of the Fangs and ordered him to death." He said. Acerbus shook his head, upset that Ralas would do such a thing.

"How is that possible, master?" He asked, filled with hatred. Acerbus fell against the wall behind him, sliding to the floor with his head slumped between his legs. Icy tears streamed down his face, dripping to the stone floor beneath him.

J'Keri continued to tell Acerbus of his father, "He was sent to the Forbidden Room to be tortured. They beat him with anything they could get their hands on. Once the long lasting torment had subsided, he was then killed. They bound his soul into the very blade that hangs on your waist."

Acerbus was raging. He unbuckled his sword and threw it into the darkness, clanging loudly. "That bastard! Why would he do that to my father? He did nothing wrong," He said.

"Calm down, Acerbus," J'Keri consoled. He patted Acerbus on the shoulder.

Then, the sound of an arrow flying through the air made Acerbus tense up. The sickening sound of it piercing flesh made Acerbus jump back, hitting the wall. He saw J'Keri fall to the floor with a thud.

Acerbus stood up, turned and ran towards the archer. Another arrow whizzed past his head. Then, a voice rang out through the darkness, "I told you J'Keri. Your death has come quickly." It was Ralas, which angered Acerbus all the more.

Acerbus ran and tackled the archer, grabbing his blade and slashing him across the throat with it. He stood up, listening for movement within the training room. Footsteps resounded in the western part of the room, giving Acerbus the urge to chase after them. But he knew how deceitful Ralas could be and stood his ground, waiting for Ralas to come to him.

A fireball was thrown out into the room, releasing enough light for Acerbus to see Ralas nearby in a corner. He saw his blade lying next to the archer and picked it up. He then ran at Ralas, blade drawn and ready to swing with hatred and fury pulsing through his arms.

But Acerbus didn't see another archer hiding behind him and the archer released his arrow, soaring through the silent air. Then, Acerbus felt it hit his leg and he yelled out, falling to the floor. "Acerbus, you should not have come here tonight. I have no other choice but to?" Something jumped from the darkness and hit Ralas in his head, knocking him unconscious.

It was Octavian. "I heard the commotion and came to check it out, mate. We gotta get you outta here," he said, huffing. Acerbus saw Jena moving towards the archer and digging her dagger into his skull.

She ran up to them, "Let's go." They nodded and helped Acerbus to his feet.

Octavian bent down behind him and yanked the arrow from the back of his leg. Acerbus grunted when he poured a healing potion over the wound. "That'll still hurt until it is fully healed, just give it time," Octavian said as he put the rest of the potion in his pack.

Acerbus limped from the room with the other two behind him?

Chapter Eight

"Menyandasil? That is mighty far from here," Octavian said as he placed several welkynd stones around the cave for light. Acerbus nodded, taking a drink of bloodwine. The cavern they had just recently emptied was full of wolves and rats. Acerbus asked to keep one of the wolves alive, hoping he could tame it to being a guard dog of sorts. It was locked in a makeshift cage made of old crates and vines.

Acerbus stood up, the pain in his leg shooting through his body. He ignored it and moved to the door. The sun was shining brightly through the cracks in the wood, slightly stinging his skin. "We have to go there. I want to speak with them," Acerbus said, his tongue sliding across his canine teeth.

He turned and went to the wolf's cage. It began to thrash wildly about, shaking the cage and biting the crooked bars. Acerbus stuck his hand into the cage and started to scratch the wolf between its ears. Its violent movement began to slow and its clamped jaws released the bars. Acerbus muttered a calm spell while scratching its head. "Shh shh. Nothing will hurt you. You want something to eat?" He asked, knowing that the wolf would not answer back.

Acerbus reached over and grabbed a freshly skinned rat, cut a generous amount of flesh from its corpse and handed it to the wolf, which he named Fidelis. It began to rip apart the meat like a knife through scrib jelly. The wolf's ferocity was extremely beautiful for an odd reason. He stood up and moved toward Jena, who was drawing a plan of movement to Menyandasil on her map.

They had run very far from the guild hall and were near the Imperial City. Acerbus had pointed out that Menyandasil was southeast of Cheydinhal. He put his finger on the city and said, "That will be our first stop. We'll re-supply and get rested before we head further south." Jena nodded and placed a small "x" on the city's mapped gate.

Octavian had finished placing the stones around the cavern's perimeter and had sat down in the corner of the room. It wasn't a surprisingly large cavern. It was a small one with four separate hallways leading deeper into the cave. They had barricaded the other doors with old crates and barrels. Near the eastern corridor, a large line of dead rats laid against the wall. The wolf was closest to Jena, which was growling at her, obviously very hungry still.

Jena stood from her hunched position on the floor and gazed into Acerbus' eyes. Acerbus couldn't help but feel as though she were looking right through him, taking a glimpse into his soul. He felt a chill run up his spine and a strange feeling in his gut. Acerbus brought his hand up and snapped his fingers, causing Jena to blink. "You were staring at me. It was a bit odd feeling," He said as he picked up her map and folded it into a tiny square.

"Oh, I'm sorry. We have a few hours until sunset, what are we going to do?" She asked, glancing over at the wolf. "Have you named him yet?"

Acerbus nodded and said, "Yes, I have. His name is Fidelis. We need to rest, so let's go to bed." He moved next to the wolf and laid down. Acerbus thought of the look that Jena had given him. He had never felt that feeling before, one of nervousness and a strange fear bubbling up inside of him. He closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep.

A man was bound against a bloody stone wall, his breathing short and rapid. Fog could be seen flowing from his mouth and dissipating into the chilly air. His shirt was torn and strips of it hung from his arms, revealing many nasty cuts and bruises which bled profusely.

Then, another man slid into the room. He carried a silver dagger caked in dried blood in one hand and a club that was splintered and cracked. The man on the wall looked up, spitting a small bit of blood from his mouth. "D-don't do this, p-please. You're a m-monster. H-how could y-you do th-this t-to me?" The man sputtered, shaking violently.

The man who had entered answered thusly, "Simple, you are too powerful for your own good. And with that, comes your death Altor." A purple haze shot from the man's fingers, enveloping the restrained man. The other man glided over, dagger at the ready.

He brought the dagger up and shoved it into Altor's neck. He screamed loudly, nearly shattering the other man's ear drums. Then, Altor went limp.

Acerbus awoke abruptly, sweating. Fidelis was barking madly, pounding his body into the cage.

Jena was the first to awaken. "Are you okay?" She asked kindly, touching Acerbus' shoulder. Acerbus looked at her and nodded.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. J-just a dream is all. G-go back t-to sleep," He said, taking her hand and placing it down by her side.

"No, I won't," She said firmly, but in a more consoling way. "You are going to tell me what happened. I can't go to sleep knowing that you are troubled by something, so tell me."

Acerbus nodded and began to speak, "There was a man in a room, lit up only by a small candle in the corner?"

YES. :goodjob:

The poetry thing was a perfect quirk for your character. It tells a lot about him, and how he deals with things, and it's something unexpected. Excellent.

I have to admit that I was a little disappointed by how much was revealed in the secret meeting scene. I grew up on Star Wars and Final Fantasy, where big secrets like those always get drawn out, to be given a big reveal at some climactic moment, usually in terrible circumstances, but usually in a way that makes everything fall into place. It's an awesome moment; the type I've always loved. Unfortunately, your story doesn't quite have that level of suspense. I could see you trying to work up the suspense, but it seemed there was something missing. I think it was just too much, too soon in the story.

However, to be fair, you completely made up for it with a classic betrayal, leading to the main character and his only trusted friends fleeing into the night. This is also a moment of awesome, and you pulled it off wuite well. For a moment, I was truly worried that Ralas would win. There can be no greater suspense.

So, yeah. Keep on writing, and all that.

Thanks, that makes me feel good.

Anybody got any feedback? I'd love to see it. I don't care what kind of comments they are. They motivate me all the more to continue this story.

Chapter Nine

Acerbus had finished telling Jena his dream. It wasn't until then that he had noticed her figure. She was slender with a bit of muscle. Her face was another thing he noticed in the Welkynd stone light. It was angular, almost like an elf's. Her lips were Her eyes were the same color of many of the vampires from Cyrodiil, but they were a lighter color. Her hair was a silky dark brown and it was in a ponytail that reached her bottom. Acerbus' eyes were then again brought down on her shapely body.

But Acerbus quickly blinked his eyes, bringing him back to reality. He waited on a reply from Jena before he stood up.

Jena could feel immense pity for Acerbus, knowing what he has had to go through and all. "That's terrible, Acerbus. Ralas is a power hungry bastard, wanting nothing but blood spilled and tears shed just for his own benefit," She consoled.

By that time, Octavian had been awakened due to the angry barks shooting from Fidelis. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and then he asked, "Wh-what's goin' on?"

"Nothing, it's just Fidelis," Acerbus answered. He looked at the door, examining the cracks in it and noticing the darkness outside. "The night is here. We need to go, now. Gather our things." He stood from his bedroll and began roll it back up. He placed it in his pack and went into one of the cavern's hallways to change into his black leather armor.

Everything was packed and ready to go rather quickly as they didn't have much to start with. As they headed out the door, Acerbus nearly forgot about Fidelis. "Wait! I need to get the wolf," He said as he walked towards the rickety cage. Acerbus said a calm spell while tying a sturdy knot in a lengthy bit of rope. He took the top from the cage and put the rope around the wolf's neck and then he picked him up and placed him on the ground. "C'mon, Fidelis." The dog obeyed and began to trot in front of him.

They left the cave, not bothering close the door, and began their trek to the city of Cheydinhal.

Octavian had been a good way away from the group, scouting ahead for bandits and other things. Jena had not been joking or anything as of late, which worried Acerbus but not enough for him to be fretting over it. She had become a lot more serious due to the recent happenings.

"Are you alright, Jena?" Acerbus asked, slightly tugging at Fidelis' leash. The wolf's pure white coat was beautiful in the moonlight.

Jena turned her head towards him and said, "Yes, I'm okay." She couldn't bring herself to say what she had wanted to for so long, as she knew not whether Acerbus felt the same way. Jena cursed at herself for postponing her announcement. I am such a procrastinator. She thought to herself.

Acerbus saw Octavian jogging back to the group: "There's nothing up ahead except a small village. It has an inn that we could stay at," He panted. Acerbus nodded and began to hurry his pace down the Red Ring Road.

They arrived at the Red Ring Tavern, a small inn that could hold no more than twenty people at one time. There was hardly any noise coming from inside the place, just the way Acerbus liked it.

He led Fidelis behind the inn and tied him to a wood chopping stump near the southwestern window. "You keep quiet, understood?" He asked, petting the wolf on the head before turning and heading towards Octavian and Jena.

"I'll go and pay for one room. We need to save as much money as we can, which is why we will be sharing a room for the day," Acerbus said, waiting on a reply from the both of them.

They nodded and Acerbus entered the room, closing the door quietly as to not wake anyone who had fallen asleep up. He strode down the short flight of stairs and up to the dingy bar at the back of the room. Acerbus saw the innkeeper and said, "I'd like one room, please." He handed the man ten septims and the man nodded and handed him a key. Acerbus went outside, gesturing Jena and Octavian to enter behind him.

They entered the tavern silently, opened the door into their room, and closed the door. It creaked loudly and when it shut, the lock clicked noisily.

The room wasn't terrible for ten drakes. It had a modest bed for one with a thick cloth bedspread dyed an ugly grey, a small pine dresser with several of the knobs missing, and a cracked and dented table with ancient looking chairs. Acerbus looked over the room, indifferent towards it. It was better than what he had at the guild, that's for sure. He glanced over at Jena and stated, "You can sleep on the bed. Octavian and I will lay on the floor."

Octavian shot a glare at Acerbus: "What?! I've been doing all the work and she gets to sleep on the bed?" He asked wildly. Acerbus met the glare with a penetrating stare that could stop even the most violent creatures in their tracks.

"You and I will sleep on the floor. She's a lady, Octavian, not a wench," Acerbus replied, disgusted with the lack of manners coming from Octavian's mouth.

Octavian huffed, saying, "Alright, whatever you say." He laid down on his bedroll. Acerbus looked over at Jena, gave her a polite smile and winked. She let off a giggle and laid down on the bed. Acerbus was the last to bed; he was checking all of his gear to make sure he had everything.

A couple of errors, but you said any comments.

This sentence didn't make much sense to me:



Looks like you started describing her lips, but got side-tracked and went to her eyes. Or maybe you meant:

Her lips were and Her eyes were the same color of many of the.... ? :shrug:

I found it a little strange that the bartender guy didn't notice or react to a vampire renting a room, however...

You forget that Acerbus wears his hood rather low over his face. And sorry about that sidetracking thing, I'll fix that later.

I haven't read this yet, but I will be reading it later!

I've read a few chapters, seems fairly ok.

I have a few gripes (not about you're story) it just reminds me waaay to much of the Underworld moveis, and its simular to an RP i wrote and eventualy began to write as a Fanfic (still writing it) so i think i'll wait til you're done before i post mine ^.^ i dont want to look like a copy cat..

Chapter Ten

Acerbus woke from his sleep, feeling a tiny bit better from yesterday. The silvery moonlight shone through the window, but would fade in and out every so often, stating that there were dark clouds looming above in the sky. Acerbus truly loved the feel of moonlight on his skin, as cool and embracing as though he were being hugged by his once loving mother. He grabbed his hooded cape, clicking the silver clasp in place and straightening it to wrap around his shoulders. He pulled the sapphire hood over his head, leaving his deep crimson red eyes glowing in its shadow.

Heading over to the bed, Acerbus gently nudged Jena awake. "Let's go. We have several hours before the sun rises," He whispered quietly in her ear. Jena stirred and rolled over onto her back, wiping the crud from her eyes and sitting up on the edge of the bed.

Acerbus looked down to see that Octavian was not lying on his bed roll, or anywhere else in the room. His childish ways are beginning to bother me. He thought as he opened the creaky wooden door and glanced down the dimly lit hallway.

He motioned for Jena to follow and she silently padded along the floor to rest her hand on his back. Acerbus moved forward into the hall, seeing everything as though it were broad daylight.

As they entered the room below, Acerbus caught glance of Octavian, swapping a small bag of gold with a rough looking man who handed him two minute bottles. Skooma! What in Vile's name is he doing? Acerbus thought as he stormed towards the dealer.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded, Jena standing next to him, looking a bit shocked. As Acerbus neared the dealer, he swung at him with a clenched fist. The dealer fell cold to the floor, all the while Acerbus snatched the bag of gold and the skooma given to Octavian and threw the skooma against the wall, smashing the bottles.

Octavian stood up and took a swing at Acerbus, who dodged the poorly thrown punch. Acerbus grabbed his hand and twisted it behind Octavian's back. "I'll not have a friend do drugs under my nose. It is as though you were spitting on the life you have established," Acerbus whispered forcefully, making sure he made every word sink into Octavian's head.

"I was just going to AGHH!" He was interrupted as a sharp twang of pain shot through his arm. "I was going to try it, Ace! Calm down." Acerbus twisted harder, threatening the snap of Octavian's arm. Acerbus didn't like to be so violent to someone he has known since he was just a child, but he knew it had to be done.

He gave Octavian a little push, releasing his arm and standing resolute and cold in front of everyone in the village. Acerbus ignored the stares and jeers of the bar patrons and said quietly, "Come on, Jena. He no longer deserves to be a part of this." He turned and left the tavern, Jena in tow.

Acerbus rounded the corner to the back of the tavern, its shadows enveloping him as he unleashed Fidelis from the stump and scratched him behind the ears, making Fidelis give a warm growl.

As they walked from the edges of the village, the sound of a door being slammed resounded out over the night, shattering the wonderful silence that the night always gives to the people of Nirn. Fidelis began to bark madly and Acerbus had to throw a calm spell at him. Octavian ran up, his eyes glowing with anger. Acerbus stood his ground as Octavian pushed up against him, they stood shoulder to shoulder. "That sort of embarrassment was uncalled for, Acerbus. All you care about is poor Jena! She's really no better than me, seeing as though she immediately changes her personality whenever you're not around. Jena has her secrets, that, I can tell you. You'll see them come out in due time, my 'brother'," Octavian declared as he stormed off into the forest, but not before throwing a suspicious smirk back at Acerbus.

This was the time that Jena decided to speak, "Why'd you do that, Acey? I fear that you've just made yourself an enemy. He did not deserve the pain and embarrassment that you gave him back there. Sure, he was about to become an addict, but you should have talked him out of it, not scare the living hell out of him." Acerbus shook his head, too disgusted to say anything.

--------

"Where are we heading now, Acey?" Jena asked after an hour of seemingly undying quiet. Acerbus looked down at the wolf treading lightly next to him, being very calm and content, his tongue hanging from his mouth and his tail wagging in the warm breeze. Then, Acerbus glanced back up at Jena.

"We're still heading towards Cheydinhal, but we are not going to stop there. I'll buy all of our supplies, along with food for Fidelis," Acerbus said, Fidelis giving an approving bark of the word food. "But you can do whatever you please when we get there, just don't get into any trouble please." Acerbus laughed, patting his wild dog on the head and re-clasping the sapphire amulet he was given around his neck.

"Yes, sir. I promise on Bal himself," Jena said jokingly.

Chapter Eleven

Acerbus had been very quiet since the fight between him and Octavian, which was only a few short hours ago. He had been through a lot in the past few days and losing his closest friend was a major blow to his mentality. Acerbus wanted more than anything to stop where he was and write a poem, but he knew very well that he and Jena had to keep moving.

As he walked, he began to think up a poem, wanting to say it aloud, but he didn't want to erase the silence. Acerbus began to recite it in his mind.

In the darkness, he fled
Unknown to me whether we shall meet again
His terrible temptation
Is the end
Of such a strong and powerful brotherhood
My feeling is that
If and When we shall meet again
He will be my foe
That is when I shall hold
The most dangerous hesitation of all

Yet again, it wasn't his best piece of work, but he knew it would have to do until he could refine it. Acerbus looked over to Jena, who in turn looked back. She leaned down to pet Fidelis, only to be snapped at viciously.

"Easy, boy!" Acerbus said to the wolf, scratching the tip of his ear.

"How do you do that?" Jena asked, amazed at his ability with animals. "You'll have to teach me that one day, Acey." She laughed, giving Acerbus a gentle pat on the back.

But Jena immediately became serious and spoke, "Did you not know, Ace, that Octavian was addicted to Skooma?" Acerbus glanced at her with his deep crimson eyes, reading her facial expression and then again admired her body.

Acerbus couldn't believe she had just said that. "I? I had no idea. Nothing seemed wrong with him," He answered solemnly, trying to hold his anger.

"Well, I've read somewhere that it affects us differently than mortals. Since we have barely any pulse at all, it takes longer to flow throughout our bloodstream, which means, I suppose, no visual differences. But the effect of addiction stays with him and leaves him to strive for one more fix of his beloved drug," Jena said rather intelligently, yet another reason why Acerbus admired her. "I've never understood why it never affected him mentally. Probably from the century of Skooma than flows through his veins right now; he's gotten used to it, is all."

"I do not wish to speak of this any further," Acerbus replied politely, attempting not to anger her.

--------

As they neared Cheydinhal's gates, Acerbus noticed they were locked tight. Archers patrolled the battlements and two soldiers guarded the gate. I did not realize that it was this late into the night, He thought to himself and then he said, "We'll have to keep moving. The guards won't let us in this late at night."

Jena nodded and replied softly, "Should we head to Harlun's Watch then? That would be the next best place to go. They might have an inn or general store."

"Yes, that's where we should go next." Acerbus turned to his right, Fidelis still trotting merrily by his side.

The walk to the small village east of Cheydinhal was an uneventful one at most. But Acerbus had looked at the surrounding nature, taking in the smells, sights, sounds, and the crisp feel of the chilly wind on his face. The trees knotty branches and supple leaves swayed in the breeze, making a pleasant ruffling noise that made him nearly forget where he was going and why he needed to get there.

Acerbus neared the perimeter of Harlun's Watch, noticing a very large log wall extending all the way around the small town. What's going on here? Acerbus thought to himself as they stopped at the wooden gate.

"Who's there?" A voice called out in the darkness, startling both Jena and Acerbus. An old man stepped out from the shadow of the wall, crossbow loaded with a silver arrow in his right hand and a silver longsword sheathed on his right hip. "You're not one o' them beasties are ye?" He questioned, shoving the crossbow at them.

"What are you talking about, 'beasties'?" Acerbus asked while he tensed himself in case a fight broke out. The elderly man looked at Acerbus and let out a laugh.

"Hahaha! The Lycans, the werewolves. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout? If ye don't then I'd say you're an idiot!" He laughed again, this time shorter and more seriously. "If ye are, I suggest that ye get teh runnin'!" The man steadied his crossbow, but was stopped cold by Fidelis, who pounced on the man. He began to tear at the old man's shirt and flesh.

"Fidelis! No! Get off of him, now!" Acerbus shouted, shooting a smooth green haze from his fingertips at the wolf. Fidelis stopped biting and scratching at the man, leaving the man bleeding only a little. The man sat up, nursing his fresh wounds.

"Damn! I just got this shirt!" He shouted, grabbing a pink bottle from his bag and pouring it on a rag from his pocket. The man began to dab his nicks and cuts, watching them heal slowly. "Thank ye. At least now I know ye don't wanna kill me." He stood up.

"Can we please enter into the town? We need supplies before we keep moving," Acerbus queried, grabbing Fidelis by the scruff of his neck and gently pulling him back to his side.

The man nodded and then said, "Yeah, you can. But I'll need a favor from ye." Acerbus nodded, waiting for the man to open the large wooden gate.

Well, Lord V, I'd say that critique wise BSparrow pretty much hit the nail on the head, and then after that the characters in your story were a lot easier to get attached to. I still find that both Arecbus and Jena are still a bit flat. They are good characters with interesting personalities, but as for being real and believable they kind of fall down. Arcebus' poetry writing almost brings him into a 3D character, but since both of them are ancients (as you have mentioned several times) the only thing I've learned about Arcebus' past is that he's killed a lot of people.
But Pasts are the things that make people what they are and so for your characters to become real they need pasts as well.

In my opinion. I am no experinced writer or critique so I could be talking a load of poo, but thats my reaction to your fan fic.
However it's an interesting story and I am looking forward to seeing what happens to them now

Thanks for sharing your comments. You are right and I am still trying to figure a past for them.

Be sure to see the next chapter when it's up.

I don't think the "which was only a few short hours ago" is necessary. It's not wrong or anything like that, but it just takes up space and offers no purpose. Those following the story are already well aware of that.





Me likey the poem.

Everything else was fine. I liked it a lot, V. You did a nice job.

Chapter Twelve


Acerbus and Jena sat at the back of the old man's house, doused in the flickering candlelight. The house was too dark to see anything of importance, but the Minotaur head on the wall explained what the old man's occupation once was. The man was pouring himself a glass of mead.

"What is this favor you ask of us?" Acerbus questioned. He saw the man pour something into the mead. Some type of flavoring perhaps? He paid no attention to it, looking back up to the man.

"Shh! Keep ye damned voice down. Me wife's upstairs sleepin'," The man whispered. He took a large gulp of the mead and then reclined back in his chair, sticking his booted feet on the table.

"Sorry," Acerbus replied and then he whispered, "Are you going to tell us what you want or not?"

"Well yeah. That's why I let ye in the town," He said, returning back to the normal position in his chair and leaning forward on the table. Acerbus could smell the liquor on the man's breath, but the man didn't seem to be the least bit drunk. "The town's been needin' someone to get rid of the ruffian werewolves and you'd do us fine. They been attackin' us every night since the Cheydinhal Guard's been dumpin' all their dead criminals in the lake a little ways north of here. What do ya say?"

Acerbus glanced over at Jena, giving her a chance took look back and then said, "Do you want to do this? I can do it alone, if you don't want to."

Jena nodded and patted the throwing knives on her belt. She had around twenty hid on her body, she had one glass one with a silver tip and all the rest were silver or steel. The handles were worn, stating that they were used quite a lot. Acerbus gave a small chuckle and said, "We'll do this one for free."


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Acerbus, Jena, and Fidelis were standing at the base of the northeastern wall of Cheydinhal Castle, pondering how they would infiltrate the city. We could always try the sewer system. That's obviously how they got the bodies in the lake. But there's a chance it will be locked. He thought, glancing down at the sewer grate.

He knelt down to the small sewer grate and gave it a small tug. Luckily, the grate was unlocked and it opened rather easily; it must have been used recently. Acerbus slipped down into the damp and mucky sewers, the smell of the city's waste hitting him with amazing force. He felt as though he were about to vomit all over the room. He took the end of his cape and wrapped it around the bottom half of his face, blocking those nasty smells from his sensitive nose.

Jena crouched low, holding her nose closed with her index finger and thumb and staying near the wall. She looked up at Acerbus and asked, "Why aren't we going to kill the wolves? Isn't that the purpose of us coming this far?"

Acerbus said, muffled through his makeshift mask, "I want to keep as many of them alive as I can. We won't discuss this here, Jena, so let's continue onward." She nodded and stayed close behind Acerbus.

In the darkness, Acerbus found a wrought iron ladder leading up and out of the sewers of Cheydinhal. He motioned for her to follow, making sure to wipe the mossy scum from each rung he had stepped on so she wouldn't fall and hurt herself.

The sewer cap was flung from its resting place near the Count's home, hitting the soft dirt with a thud, and Acerbus and Jena emerged from the horrible stench of the sewers. "Good Gods! It smells like the bowels of a dead guar down there. I honestly hope we won't have to go through there again," Jena whispered under the thick brush of an evergreen.

Acerbus looked at her and said, "We won't have to. Someone from the guild came back from an assignment in Cheydinhal and had gotten the property records from the guards' barracks. Several of the houses were deemed condemned by the city and were boarded up. I'm positive we'll be able to stay in one of them." He gave her a warm smile and nodded.

"But what are you planning, Acey?" She asked, glancing nervously about as though she had done something wrong. Acerbus shuffled his feet and wiggled his fingers. His attempts at lying would most likely fail; Jena knew him like the back of her hand. But he decided he would try it anyway.

"Well, I was going to leave the Count a lovely note in his quarters. You shouldn't worry yourself, Jena. I've got this under control," Acerbus lied. He wasn't necessarily lying, just giving her a bit of the truth to ponder. Then Jena gave him the look that she had always given him when he lied.

"We're going to kill someone aren't we?" She questioned jokingly, but then growing serious when the length of time widened in which it was answered.

"Uhh? Yeah, sorry."

interesting and not just your story but the potential of the guild too. you could write about the war against the db or anything so yeah great story here