is there a way to run oblivion with hdr and aa without editing the ini file?
Is there a grapihcs card that will let me do so or is it just the way it is?

Both nVidia and AMD/ATI cards can force Anti-Aliasing to run alongside HDR for Oblivion.

For nVidia, set the anti-aliasing mode for your Oblivion profile to "override any application setting" and set the anti-aliasing to the desired number of samples (Oblivion can natively do up to 16x Multisampling). (If it still doesn't work, download nVidia Inspector and make sure the AA compatibility is set to this hexadecimal code: 0x200100C5.)

Same thing for the CCC on AMD/ATI cards, just set the anti-aliasing to override the application and you force AA and HDR.

If you plan to use OBGE, though, don't bother. AA does not work at all when it is running.

Yes there is a way. As Thomas Kaira mentioned. You should be able to find that setting option in the Control Center/ Panel of your graphic's card driver. Look for something like the "3D Applications Settings" heading.

I set HDR in the Oblivion settings. Then use the Override on the graphics card settings, with the NVidia or ATI ocntrol panel. No ini editing needed.

When Oblivion was released few cards could support AA and HDR at the same time. That is not the case today. So you should have no problem. I've been running Oblivion with AA and HDR for a long time.

Or use OBGE (OBSE plug) filters instead. It gives better effect and you could use other shaders improving visually aspect of the game more.

so would activating all of these graphics settings allow me to select both 8 times aa and hdr through the oblivion menu?\
and thanks for all of your replies

Not both through the Oblivion menu. Select HDR through the Oblivion menu, then use the Graphic Card's setup software to override Oblivion's AA setting to 8x AA.