» Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:26 pm
A low graphics setting is like being drunk. All the girls are younger and prettier.
Underwear is permanently sewn on.
I don't recall ever seeing a musical instrument in Cyrodill. I guess they all have that same elevator music so they don't need musicians.
There are very suggestive piles of stuff in the sewers despite the fact there are no toilets.
Meat must be eaten raw. (blech!)
In Yiddish, kvatch means 'nonsense'.
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kirsty williams - Posts: 3509
- Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 5:56 am
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:07 pm
Imperial Legion officers are stupid. They kill a bandit with better equipment and then leave the body (and the better equipment) where it fell. Why not at least get a better weapon?
Baurus is either a brilliant alchemist or a compulsive hoarder. I recently fought...a particular battle that Baurus didn't survive (no spoilers). I searched his body and found 189 Strong Potions of Healing. Didn't do him much good, though.
The mass communication system of Cyrodiil is messed up. Everybody in Cyrodiil knows what I did at Kvatch, despite the fact that the only person to leave that city did so before I...did my thing (again, no spoilers). This seems to indicate a good system, so why do I have to run all over Cyrodiil to ask Counts and Countesses for...stuff? (It's hard not posting spoilers) Do Oblivion gates interfere with it somehow?
Merchants have an infinite supply of money, but can only buy so much from you at a time.
You can enter Oblivion by going through a big, scary gate and you can exit by grabbing a small, glowing, magic ball.
Despite the fact that some people in Cyrodiil grow tobacco, nobody smokes it.
Come to think of it, nobody smokes anything in Cyrodiil.
Nobody likes an Adoring Fan.
The Grey Prince isn't grey. Or a prince.
The Gray Fox isn't gray. Or a fox (in any sense of the word).
The Imperial Legion is in collusion with Bandits and Marauders. They tell you "If you've got to travel, by the Nine Divines, stay on the roads. The wilderness just isn't safe anymore. We've had sightings, you see. The Daedra..." So I stay on the roads and what happens? I get ambushed by Bandits, Marauders and Highwaymen.
Baurus is either a brilliant alchemist or a compulsive hoarder. I recently fought...a particular battle that Baurus didn't survive (no spoilers). I searched his body and found 189 Strong Potions of Healing. Didn't do him much good, though.
The mass communication system of Cyrodiil is messed up. Everybody in Cyrodiil knows what I did at Kvatch, despite the fact that the only person to leave that city did so before I...did my thing (again, no spoilers). This seems to indicate a good system, so why do I have to run all over Cyrodiil to ask Counts and Countesses for...stuff? (It's hard not posting spoilers) Do Oblivion gates interfere with it somehow?
Merchants have an infinite supply of money, but can only buy so much from you at a time.
You can enter Oblivion by going through a big, scary gate and you can exit by grabbing a small, glowing, magic ball.
Despite the fact that some people in Cyrodiil grow tobacco, nobody smokes it.
Come to think of it, nobody smokes anything in Cyrodiil.
Nobody likes an Adoring Fan.
The Grey Prince isn't grey. Or a prince.
The Gray Fox isn't gray. Or a fox (in any sense of the word).
The Imperial Legion is in collusion with Bandits and Marauders. They tell you "If you've got to travel, by the Nine Divines, stay on the roads. The wilderness just isn't safe anymore. We've had sightings, you see. The Daedra..." So I stay on the roads and what happens? I get ambushed by Bandits, Marauders and Highwaymen.
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Sharra Llenos - Posts: 3399
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:09 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:55 pm
I think we learned that long before Oblivion (As is the case with newer, shinier graphics not actually meaning a game is better.)
But back to the point of the thread, from Oblivion, I've learned that if you enter a store and start swinging a sword around randomly and knocking items on the floor, no one will care, but if you try to pick up those items you just knocked over and put them back in their place, suddenly you're a horrible criminal.
The average citizen earns less than five gold in a week, despite the fact that even the most basic of foods cost at least one gold, meaning that these people would be lucky to be able to afford five meals in a week, if they don't have any other expenses and they only have a loaf of bread for their meals.
No one has a proper beard, the most anyone has is a bit of stubble (which looks more like dirt on your face.) anything more than that is reserved for the Mad God.
Presumably complex mechanical traps in ancient ruins will continue to work normally even after thousands of years of disuse, despite no one maintaining them, I guess they don't make traps the way they used to. Moreover, the current inhabitants of the ruin don't seem to mind the potential hazzard this could pose to their safety, and don't bother trying to disable them.
Bandits are extremely stupid, if someone standing next to them suddenly drops dead with an arrow lodged in his skull, if they don't see the person shooting the arrow, they'll just assume it was the wind, I suppose they think the wind blew an arrow into the guys head, and caused it to pierce his skull?
Glass bottles and ceramic plates are completely indestructable, you can hit them with a massive warhammer, drop them from a two story building, or throw a fireball that produces a huge explosion at them, and while they might get knocked across the room, they will not be at all damaged, you'd think that someone would get the idea of making a suit of armor out of ceramic plates strapped together.
Armor made of glass is the ideal armor for an assassin, despite it being bright green and extremely reflective, you won't have a harder time sneaking in it than in leather armor, but it protects you much better.
Armor made out of elven exists, as well as armor made out of dwarven, we don't know elven what, and maybe it's best to keep things that way.
No one, no one in the world knows how to jump, with the exception of prisoners, despite this, there are many people who can teach you how to jump higher and farther, I guess most people are just too lazy to learn.
But back to the point of the thread, from Oblivion, I've learned that if you enter a store and start swinging a sword around randomly and knocking items on the floor, no one will care, but if you try to pick up those items you just knocked over and put them back in their place, suddenly you're a horrible criminal.
The average citizen earns less than five gold in a week, despite the fact that even the most basic of foods cost at least one gold, meaning that these people would be lucky to be able to afford five meals in a week, if they don't have any other expenses and they only have a loaf of bread for their meals.
No one has a proper beard, the most anyone has is a bit of stubble (which looks more like dirt on your face.) anything more than that is reserved for the Mad God.
Presumably complex mechanical traps in ancient ruins will continue to work normally even after thousands of years of disuse, despite no one maintaining them, I guess they don't make traps the way they used to. Moreover, the current inhabitants of the ruin don't seem to mind the potential hazzard this could pose to their safety, and don't bother trying to disable them.
Bandits are extremely stupid, if someone standing next to them suddenly drops dead with an arrow lodged in his skull, if they don't see the person shooting the arrow, they'll just assume it was the wind, I suppose they think the wind blew an arrow into the guys head, and caused it to pierce his skull?
Glass bottles and ceramic plates are completely indestructable, you can hit them with a massive warhammer, drop them from a two story building, or throw a fireball that produces a huge explosion at them, and while they might get knocked across the room, they will not be at all damaged, you'd think that someone would get the idea of making a suit of armor out of ceramic plates strapped together.
Armor made of glass is the ideal armor for an assassin, despite it being bright green and extremely reflective, you won't have a harder time sneaking in it than in leather armor, but it protects you much better.
Armor made out of elven exists, as well as armor made out of dwarven, we don't know elven what, and maybe it's best to keep things that way.
No one, no one in the world knows how to jump, with the exception of prisoners, despite this, there are many people who can teach you how to jump higher and farther, I guess most people are just too lazy to learn.
theres even armor made out of ebony
poor ebonyes -
Samantha Jane Adams - Posts: 3433
- Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 4:00 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:03 pm
Unless your idea of fun is haunting the same galleon for the rest of eternity do not offer your opinion to the guy in the black robe of what you think he looks like
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Hot - Posts: 3433
- Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:22 pm
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:43 am
All horse dealers are high-powered wizards. If by chance you walk up to a stable and there are no horses to buy, no worries! Just go inside and pay a huge fee. Your horse will appear out of thin air by the time you walk back outside 30 seconds later.
I am Jena's daughter (get it?)
:
I am Jena's daughter (get it?)
:
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FITTAS - Posts: 3381
- Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:53 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:30 pm
Ghosts take the time to open doors. Ghosts.
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Kieren Thomson - Posts: 3454
- Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:28 am
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:39 pm
A friend of mine sent that to me in an email three or four years ago. I had to read it five times before I got it. :laugh: But that's what's fun about it: When you read the first part, your mind automatically arranges it into a proper fraction. When you read the second part, you think :huh: Then you read the first part over and over until it actually registers and then :facepalm:
Uhm...that's maybe you read it incorrectly, or too fast the first time. You must only register that "5" comes before "4" and that it talks about "people" to realize something's wrong there.
I don't know, I've catched it the first time I read it...
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Nikki Morse - Posts: 3494
- Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:08 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:22 pm
That we only had few voice actors, Patrick Stewart and....erm.
And that the Arena announcer can shout really loud without a megaphone and yet he doesn't seem to be located anywhere. Also they mistreat the Yellow Team Champion by putting her in a cage for a bit.
And that the Arena announcer can shout really loud without a megaphone and yet he doesn't seem to be located anywhere. Also they mistreat the Yellow Team Champion by putting her in a cage for a bit.
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WTW - Posts: 3313
- Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 7:48 pm
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:13 am
That we only had few voice actors, Patrick Stewart and....erm.
Sean Bean
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xxLindsAffec - Posts: 3604
- Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:39 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:27 pm
And the fact that your two handed weapon, bow/arrows magically disapear whenever you mount a horse.
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ZANEY82 - Posts: 3314
- Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:10 am
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:17 am
The Imperial Palace needs to improve their security.
The counts of cyrodiil need to improve their security.
If you do a few jobs for a guild,you will no doubt become leader of that guild
With the aid of fast travel,you can go from associate to guild leader within a week
The mages guild don't mind you summoning the dead,even if you aren't in the guild and dress in necromancers robes.
The counts of cyrodiil need to improve their security.
If you do a few jobs for a guild,you will no doubt become leader of that guild
With the aid of fast travel,you can go from associate to guild leader within a week
The mages guild don't mind you summoning the dead,even if you aren't in the guild and dress in necromancers robes.
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Angel Torres - Posts: 3553
- Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 7:08 am
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:16 am
All city walls have battlements, but it's impossible to get there.
The Thieves' Guild will make you their leader even if you're also the Arch Mage.
Noone ever bothers to try and put out the flames in Kvatch until you install the right mod.
The tougher you are, the better items people will give you.
Beggars are poor even if you give them hundreds of coins.
Thoronir will buy almost anything. And I mean anything.
The Thieves' Guild will make you their leader even if you're also the Arch Mage.
Noone ever bothers to try and put out the flames in Kvatch until you install the right mod.
The tougher you are, the better items people will give you.
Beggars are poor even if you give them hundreds of coins.
Thoronir will buy almost anything. And I mean anything.
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Terry - Posts: 3368
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 1:21 am
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:58 pm
Noone ever bothers to try and put out the flames in Kvatch until you install the right mod.
Yup, and the rain in that region is not doing much good either..
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Charlotte Henderson - Posts: 3337
- Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:37 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:57 pm
About 98% of our citizens out unemployed, and the other 2% are merchants or work for a guild.
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Christine - Posts: 3442
- Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 12:52 am
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:08 am
Yup, and the rain in that region is not doing much good either..
You're right about that: :blink: Must be some kind of daedra magic.
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Gill Mackin - Posts: 3384
- Joined: Sat Dec 16, 2006 9:58 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:02 pm
About 98% of our citizens out unemployed, and the other 2% are merchants or work for a guild.
Or are farmers. :shrug:
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sally coker - Posts: 3349
- Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:51 pm
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:36 pm
Some things I've learned...
...If you're in a conversation with someone and they start to cough, nobody ever has to say "bless you".
...Farming involves hoeing the same patch of dirt over and over and over again.
...Martin is the only character who gets to mumble like Johnny Depp. He also spends days upon days trying to decipher a book that only has 2 pages in it.
...Hackdirt inbreeds replacement brethren like a bunch of rabbits, all of the spawn are males, and they don't seem to see the possible advantages of armor, or even a shirt!
...If you're in a conversation with someone and they start to cough, nobody ever has to say "bless you".
...Farming involves hoeing the same patch of dirt over and over and over again.
...Martin is the only character who gets to mumble like Johnny Depp. He also spends days upon days trying to decipher a book that only has 2 pages in it.
...Hackdirt inbreeds replacement brethren like a bunch of rabbits, all of the spawn are males, and they don't seem to see the possible advantages of armor, or even a shirt!
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Elisha KIng - Posts: 3285
- Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 12:18 am
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:01 am
--You can contract diseases not only by getting bitten, but by getting hit with swords, hammers, arrows, etc.
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Mark Hepworth - Posts: 3490
- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:51 pm
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:13 am
The fact that the mythic dawn assassin stops fighting when you have a little chat with Eronor.
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Jason White - Posts: 3531
- Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 12:54 pm
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:03 am
Putting 200+ Arrows in an arrow holder on your back will magically make 95% of those arrows invisible.
Armand Christophe can sell you LOCKPICKS if you need them.
Armand Christophe can sell you LOCKPICKS if you need them.
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Charles Mckinna - Posts: 3511
- Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2007 6:51 am
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:09 am
You can punch a brick wall, iron gate, tree, rock or anything else without breaking your hand, or even getting bloody knuckles.
According to the Blades, the Imperial Watch is incompetent. They routinely mix up what cell prisoners are supposed to go in.
Three blades and one escaped prisoner aren't enough to protect the Emperor from a small band of assassins.
Falanu Hlaalu has some...odd indulgences.
You shouldn't eat Nightshade. It's poisonous.
There are no theater troupes in Cyrodiil.
Argonian maids are full of lust.
Only two Argonians in all of Cyrodiil has a heart: An assassin and a former Shadowscale.
The only reptiles in Cyrodiil are Argonians.
Some Argonian names sound funny: Otumeel, Hauls-Ropes-Faster & Runs-In-Circles come to mind.
Female Orcs are referred to as "Sir" if they are Knights.
Those amazing stories of bravery and heroism you hear regarding the Knight of the Thorn? A load of minotaur droppings.
Sheogorath favors Golden Saints above Dark Seducers and favors Dark Seducers of Golder Saints.
The Legion doesn't know who murdered the Emperor, even though it seems to be fairly common knowledge among civilians.
The world outside of city walls doesn't exist, unless you exit through the main doors.
Every city in Cyrodiil is a walled city.
Each city has battlements, but no way to get to them.
According to the Blades, the Imperial Watch is incompetent. They routinely mix up what cell prisoners are supposed to go in.
Three blades and one escaped prisoner aren't enough to protect the Emperor from a small band of assassins.
Falanu Hlaalu has some...odd indulgences.
You shouldn't eat Nightshade. It's poisonous.
There are no theater troupes in Cyrodiil.
Argonian maids are full of lust.
Only two Argonians in all of Cyrodiil has a heart: An assassin and a former Shadowscale.
The only reptiles in Cyrodiil are Argonians.
Some Argonian names sound funny: Otumeel, Hauls-Ropes-Faster & Runs-In-Circles come to mind.
Female Orcs are referred to as "Sir" if they are Knights.
Those amazing stories of bravery and heroism you hear regarding the Knight of the Thorn? A load of minotaur droppings.
Sheogorath favors Golden Saints above Dark Seducers and favors Dark Seducers of Golder Saints.
The Legion doesn't know who murdered the Emperor, even though it seems to be fairly common knowledge among civilians.
The world outside of city walls doesn't exist, unless you exit through the main doors.
Every city in Cyrodiil is a walled city.
Each city has battlements, but no way to get to them.
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Nicole Coucopoulos - Posts: 3484
- Joined: Fri Feb 23, 2007 4:09 am
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:39 am
All city walls have battlements, but it's impossible to get there.
Each city has battlements, but no way to get to them.
You noticed it too.
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Julie Serebrekoff - Posts: 3359
- Joined: Sun Dec 24, 2006 4:41 am
» Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:12 am
No matter how hard it rains, puddles will never form.
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Meghan Terry - Posts: 3414
- Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2007 11:53 am
» Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:59 pm
Nobody cares about your clothes. Want to wear necromancer robes to the Arcane University? No problem! How about Mythic Dawn robes in Cloud Ruler Temple? Go right ahead!
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Katharine Newton - Posts: 3318
- Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:33 pm