A friend linked me to this page. After reading some of your comments I was angry at first, but then I thought I wouldn't want any of you to ever have to feel what I have. One of you deemed me a hipster, because you think it's odd that I find some solace in a videogame. The truth is, there isn't a SINGLE outlet that I do find solace in, but many. I listen to our song, sometimes I smell her clothes or stare for hours at her picture etc. Skyrim was something we were both looking forward to. She loved fantasy role-playing games. She will NEVER get to play it. As for those of you that are turning what I said into some sort of God debate, that isn't what I intended. I said, "If there is a heaven...", keyword there is "IF". I don't know if there is a heaven, I'd like to believe there is but no amount of debating is going to settle what is primarily a belief, especially on the internet of all places.

Our heaven would be a place where me and her can shape our surroundings. Perhaps we'd spend a lifetime living normal lives. Another in a fantasy. It's all hypothetical. Some of you missed the point I was trying to make. It brings me closer to her because I'd like to believe that right now she's in that place. In a way I get to be with her.

For those of you that do not think this is real, that's fine believe what you want. A simple Facebook search would do. Or if you still doubt it here are our gamertags on XBL:

Mine: Jon Angelo GS 74000
Hers: Mrs. Mentos GS 30000

Why point out the gamerscore? Because even then there are those of you that would doubt it, but would I create 2 different XBL accounts, accumulate 100,000 in combined points/achievements in the hopes that one day, maybe just maybe, I can make up a story about my wife dying so I can get a few people on the internet who I will never meet or want to, just to get attention?

It doesn't matter, for those that are cynical: I hope you are never loved or will love as much as me and her have and never have to experience this grief when inevitability one of you will die and be left with this pain. And that's the worst possible thing I can hope for any of you. Dying is easy, living is hard.

Lol.

And then he saw a dragon fly backwards.

Very sad. I hope he gets some peace and time for his brain to rest inbetween the periods of grieving with Skyrim.

it's also a real shame his wife never got to play it, although that's a small thing really when you think about it.

Man doesn't life svck. Remember to remind your family and friends that you love them, you never know when you or they are gonna go.

My condolences.

Poor guy

JonAngel0, thanks for popping in and I'm truly sorry about some of the immature and rude comments here.

If you had wanted the attention you would have posted here on this forum or mailed Bethesda itself. I think it's beautiful you still have that connection to your wife, whatever your religious beliefs(or lack thereof). It's got nothing to do with that but people are very fond of flaming religion wherever they sniff it out, whether it's actually there or not doesn't matter. They see afterlife and go berserk.

Also, if people fake stories like these they are very sick IMO and silly me I like to trust that these stories are very real as I still have some trust in mankind. Though it's hard at times especially seeing the snarky comments in topics such as these.

I do believe she is in a good place but I don't think that is of any help whatsoever to you. Losing people is hard no matter what and words and beliefs of others are no comfort.
I wish you, and others who have suffered losses, all the best.

A couple more posts have been wished into the cornfield.

Yes, we have a policy against religious and political discussion on this forum. But we do allow some latitude on occasion.

Someone expressing their condolences and feelings on a matter like this with references to their own religious or spiritual beliefs is only natural. We certainly don't want to see this thread turn into a discussion about religion, or for anyone to use this as a platform to push an agenda. As that would be distasteful at best (and against our rules.)

But to clarify - I don't think that someone expressing their condolences from the perspective of their own religion or world view to qualify as either of those.

Firstly im really glad that they are finding peace, whatever the medium.

Now that aside, i will feel sorry for them when they start getting problems like the many i have listed in previous posts. I think this should not be listed against the mentioned gripes though, its a whole different issue.

What problems? I had plenty before my wife died. The funny thing about some people is that when someone is suffering they like to point out how much someone else is suffering even more. Why? Do you gain comfort from the misfortune of others? Does it put things in perspective for you? Thousands of people die every day there are even more that are effected by the ripple of that ONE persons life and death. Who are you to question the value of a SINGLE life?

while the catalyst for his post is utterly tragic, i imagine that bethesda would be quite touched to read this testimony. in an industry where the developer seeks to entertain people, achieving something deeper, more profound and lasting than momentary gratification is a true mark of success.

the community's collective hearts go out to you, jon. all the best.

Hopes, dreams, illusions, and fanstasy became real to this couple thanks to this games

Sad and happy to read this, husband mate enjoy the double skyrim because now u play for 2 , wife enjoy your own tamriel and wait for your husband

Cheerz to both ^_^!

Which is exactly what I intended in the first place. When I posted on Joystiq I had no real intentions of making what I said into something more than what it was. I posted it on a story of a recent patch of all places, it was simply a shot in the dark of gratitude for all the people that have worked on this game. It helps me feel closer to her, there are many reasons why, but it does. The readers on Joystiq seem to be a more understanding group of gamers that would understand why two people who loved videogames would find it comforting to play and experience a game when the other has passed. I didn't expect to find this cynical attitude on a forum about the very game itself. It's a shame really.

Is there anyone else that would like to question the way I grieve? Anyone else who wants to turn a simple gesture of gratitude for the developers of this game that helps me feel closer to my wife?

Anyone else??

I don't see how people have a problem with how other people grieve. Some may listen to a specific song that they used to play together, or that it was "their" song. Playing a game is no different. It is just a different medium. You go play that game, sir! And you enjoy it, sir!

i hadn't read the other posts in the thread and so i thought you had interpreted my post as a criticism, which nearly gave me a heart attack. i've come to learn that no matter what the subject is, there will always be people that view it negatively, positively, consider it true, false, good, bad and everything in between. especially considering your situation, i would suggest taking the positive feedback and condolences in this thread, and just let the criticism roll off your back.

i'm stunned that anyone would want to engage in internet nitpicking over something like this, in this situation.

Hi Jon, nice to "meet" you again

I shouldn't pay too much attention to the mean-spirited element here, at first I was surprised, disappointed & saddened by it, but it seems it's simply a result of a very popular game, some overly possessive/opinionated gamer-types, and internet anonymity brings out the worst in some people.

The world seems to split among two types now, those who have lost someone, and those who have not. It's generally easy to figure out

For the most part, there are good people here. It's a pity that human nature tends to amplify the bad elements though. Ignore the people who are obviously bored, or don't have the perspective (lucky them), or who simply believe that any thought that floats to the top of their heads needs externalising.

Myself, I'm having a good time with the game. I'm having less of a good time when I'm not playing the game. For me, that's all the justification I need. I can tell you it won't get easier, and bad times are ahead, but you have your son and, I presume, friends and relatives behind you. Sometimes it won't be enough, but most of the time it will.

For what it's worth, welcome to the Skyrim forum

I remember something similar when Morrowind was released. A female who was sick, played and recorded her adventures called, Trials of a Clueless Wood Elf. Some, old Morrowind forum goers, even Moderators here may remember this.

My heart goes out to that man and his family. I'm very happy this man finds a little serenity in Skyrim.


Games are more than what they are. For most of us there memories. They sometimes make us feel like the kids we once were, or remind us of the long lost buddies of long ago, or in this man case reconnecting with his wife and there time spent together.

Thank you for reminding us why we are all here to begin with, and why we spend so much of our free time with this hobby.

Oblivion turned up at a bad time in my life, and helped me get through it. I couldn't have cared less that someone didn't think it was hardcoe enough, or rpg enough, or that there were glitches and problems. It was a world to mess about in and forget my worries. Though I don't feel pain as bad as yours, I had to play at the funeral of one of my band mates this week, and the simple truth is, once I had returned home from Ireland, killing a few trolls took my mind off things for a while. Thankyou, Beth, for that small mercy.

Condolensces,

Happy though, to see that you can find some solace in a digital work of art.

I have a similiar experience in my childhood where I lost my uncle, who was completely my world. Later, as I picked up chrono trigger (the game we played together) I remembered him and my journey began anew. Sometimes we find unexpected ways to cope, and we must remember to count the blessings in them.

Thank you so much for providing the link. I know he must be going through a really bad time losing his wife of 10 years and now having to care for his 6 yr old son. As they were both gamers and elder scrolls fans I really hope the game can be the bridge that helps them trhough the times ahead. How wonderful if it could be this in a second life.

Our familie's thoughts and sympathies go out to the grieving father and son.



Thoughts and sympathies with you and yours as well.

I think those people who are questioning you are too young to have lost anyone, and don't know what it's like. That or they just have bad coping mechanisms.

Anyone who has lost someone and really suffered from it, knows it's true that you can't spend your whole time grieving otherwise you would just completely fall apart. The human brain has to rest from the beating it gets during the grieving process, and finding a refuge to numb the brain when it needs a rest is only natural.

That is so touching. The poor guy.

Jon, I am truly sorry about the reception you've had to face here from some posters ... that's about the last thing one needs in a situation like yours. It often seems to me that the larger the forum, the newer the game, and the more general the subforum's theme, the more immature and self-centered idiots can be found there. And they often just rush to prove that. My advice would be to try and ignore them, but I can empathize with how hard that must be for you in this case ...

That such a preface would even be necessary ... *sigh*


What I am - naturally - even more sorry about is your loss ... For what it may be worth, though: I, too, believe that she is in a good place.


In your heart.


And when you look for her there, you will always find her.



Take care, Jon, and be strong.

Sitting here before typing this out staring at my current girlfriend of almost 2 years, makes me appreciate her a lot more than I usually do. Not that I neglect her but well...Skyrim has been out. I have not been giving her the amount of quality time she deserves between Skyrim and my Finals. Think I will step back and do some big things

I love this girl and if anyone else is playing this game while neglecting your significant other. Think about losing them like this guy did. Has me choked up a bit tbh. One of the sadder things I have heard in a while. I have lost many people I love. I never want to lose another. My condolences to the man who lost his wife. I hope Skyrim can alleviate what little pain it can. The best you will achieve is numbness but do not do as my father did. Do not become numb to the point of forgetting your child.

Cheers Jon,
I wish you much happiness in the hard times to come. And they will come. May ALMSIVI's spirit be with you. I hope that if heaven exists it is just like a happier version of Nirn.

Jon, I never intended for this post to turn out the way it did. Your story honestly touched me having lost my cousin who was like a brother to me. I just wanted to show bethesda how grateful you were for their hard work on this game during your time of grieving. I apologize if I made this any more difficult than it needs to be. I will request to close the topic if you would prefer that.