Now - I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post but I figure what the heck and will start writing. Forgive me - I'm only a Brit after all.

I'm a loner in life who loves MMO's for some reason......even though I spend the vast majority of the time spent levelling up alt characters and grinding up trade skills so I have 1 of everything (I've done that on WoW) . Yes I have a max level in every single class and all the trade skills maxed out). I can do this by playing on my own - which is probably slightly oddball I know but it does take all sorts.

I've played all sorts of MMO's (LOTRO, SWTOR, WAR, WOW, WoT's) and gained something from them each time - but I'm rather an average player who tends to avoid group content that might allow me to cause a group to 'fail'. This is not always purposeful, and sometimes I feel awkward skipping a quest I want to see to conclusion because it requires grouping up, but it is just that I'm not that confident. I've just never found that right group of people who make me feel comfortable enough to 'get into raiding'.

I feel rushed because I take my time with everything. I get most out of MMO's by questing because I love an interactive game that tells me a story - oh how I love a good story. I play single player games on easy/normal mode just to experience the story without having to worry about my lack of ability and speed of thought.

I'm hoping that ESO will be an MMO that let's me actually get into the group 'thing' and not care about causing fails in important situations.

I've managed to get into the Beta through a Curse key but I've only played 3 hours so can't draw any conclusions on grouping at all.

I guess it all rather depends on the player base - which is probably going to be slightly different to other MMO's but not that dis-similar.

I've waffled enough in any case - does anyone else have this sort of feeling about MMO's too? Am I more average than I think and just being hard on myself? I do tend towards being slightly self critical I guess.

I am really looking forward to the game but I want to get into end game in a way I've never managed before - from what I've read on the topic I'm slightly hopeful that this just might be my MMO.

k

Find a good guild to get into, because there are other tolerable gamers out there. Sometimes you need to sift through a lot of... not-so-fun gamers to get to them. Getting into a good guild makes it significantly easier to get into group content.

Play a damage dealer. They have the least responsibility and if you "don't do damage" for a moment, it won't drop the fight. Unlike tanks where if you "don't get aggro" you can wipe the group or if you are a healer and "don't heal" you can wipe the group.

getting into a team or group gives us better challenges in the game

i know it can be hard if you dont do well ( and i have played a healer before and always worried i would let people die) but its fun and part of an MMO experience

I couldn't say for sure but we have already seen a certain amount of snobbery eg. in relation to professions.

Templars ARE the best healers say some. Try playing the healer role as another profession and dollars to donuts those people will blame you for any failure the group encounters.

Best bet I find is to find a good guild and group with them as much as possible. And don't be afraid to shop around until you find one.

Also, guilds need crafters, mods for their chat channel and other admin aspects besides playing that the game. Like you said, it takes all kinds of people for a guild to work well.

In many aspects you are not alone.I'm also a loner who plays MMO's .The constant rushing that seems so prevalent these days is mainly what puts me off to grouping.Rest assured there are a lot of us out there and usually a guild will pop up for like minded people.We just have to do a little more leg work to find each other.

Personally, I never join a guild until I know the people in it, have played with them a number of times, enjoyed their company and they run the type of guild I feel comfortable in.

As for raids, I have found that if you don't just jump in, then you never get any where.

On the plus side, I think it was the ForceFeedback video (lvl1-5) that claimed you get great imersion by taking your time and enjoying the content. So it would seem, Eso is the type of game for new players & less forward gamers like ourselves.

But again, Im sure like all MMO's, you will need to put yourself out there, find groups, see what you can do & try to enjoy it.

Im sure there are systems in place for dealing the the idiot that causes trouble in the group. So jump in, have fun & play at your own pace.

I am absolutely baffled that you're still alive on these forums. especially after that signature.

You're not joining the Dominion, are you? The DC could use a powerful taunter like you...

I do tend to stick with DPS characters because it is easier to blend in with the crowd and I tend to watch my damage meters like a hawk to make sure I'm not bottom if I do happen to run in a group. I can't time a CC worth a damn though - that killed TBC and Cata in WoW for me and I stopped playing during those completely.

As regards guilds - I've been in plenty and it's just never worked out. I'm probably a bit more determined to make this work so perhaps this will lead me to jump around and find a group.

My work hours have always tended to stop me from regular weekly raiding as I'm a shift worker on a 4 on and 5 off basis - and that plays havoc with some guilds ideas of how a 'good guild member' should sign up to raids. I can't commit to time slots on each given week as over a period of time I work each and every hour of day of the week.

As a Brit I normally play on the EU based servers but I'm thinking of being on the US megaserver for ESO as I tend to get most chance to play group content late night / early morning. This also gets around those annoying language barriers that are another barrier to grouping up that I've found.

You're not alone.

I love being around people and watching the world go through its turns. It makes me feel like a part of things. At the same time, personal relationships are draining, and I like to limit my interaction with others for this reason. I value connection with others and sometimes seek it out, but I can't keep it up the way other people do. It's exhausting and often not interesting enough.

End game content has always been difficult because it requires a level of skill I don't seem to have. I'm not bad, but I take failure pretty hard. As others have said, it really helps to have steady group of people, friends or guild members, to group with. If you don't like to make friends, guilds are an ideal solution because you can form casual relationships, and as long as you help others out, they'll be willing to do the same for you, even if they don't know you well personally. They will be much more forgiving of failure and easy-going than your average pick-up group. Not all guilds are about being the best. Some value the experience for its own sake and having a good time.

Also, ease up on yourself. I'm going to guess that other people don't take your mistakes nearly as badly as you do. An average player that can listen to directions and get a long with a group is more valuable and less common than the ever-present horde of uptight, obnoxious power gamers that may have a slightly better skill level but don't get along with anyone and clog up the chat with swearing and complaints about everyone else.

I'm thinking I will start a guild called the Anti-Socials who wants in.

I'm in the same boat as the rest of you. I miss out on content by not really wanting to fail in a run. I seldom Pug since there is no investment in those groups vs a guild group.

I can feel you OP, I've recently been trying out dungeons in FF14, and at first it was intimidating. Fortunately they had sort of training missions early in the game where you have an objective with a party (they match you up, no lfg) and give you pop ups with strategy tips for healers, tanks and dps. It's pretty cool actually and I wish more mmo's had something like that. Nowadays people just assume that everyone in an mmo has been in mmo's and raiding/dungeons for years, but it's just not true.

I don't know if they have a dungeon party matching system, but I think something like that could help. Also, having low level dungeons would be really beneficial. Hell, have different difficulties for the dungeons ala D&D online. that'd be sweet.

I understand your pain friend. I myself an an Antisocial Personality. I actually seriously dislike most people and prefer to do things by myself. However in MMO's cooperation is king and if your wanting to get the best gear and see the coolest stuff you have to team up with others. I have a few suggestions to help you,

1) Stop Caring, your never going to meet these people in real life, they have no effect on your real life and can't help or hinder you in anything but a game. So first things first, stop caring so much. if you screw up and the people your with just are too "elite" to let something go, laugh it off and move on.

2) Do group quests as early as possible. By going and doing the early lower level quests and dungeons with a group you will learn what position on a team you fit best in, what is expected of you, and how team dynamics work. Also because it is the lower level stuff most players are more forgiving and learning themselves.

3) Be loyal. Guild/crew/faction/team/etc. jumping is always bad, sure we all have found ourselves having joined up with a group that we didn't quite fit in with or a group that just wanted to increase its numbers, but jumping from one group to another to another is a great way to give yourself a bad rep. So take your time before joining any guild/team/whatever. Go do a few dungeons with them get to know their members a little bit before you decide if they are the right group for you. If you are loyal people tend to be loyal to you.

4) Don't talk about out of game topics. Most arguments in guilds/teams/etc. are caused by talking or discussing out of game topics. I once had a union fall apart over a presidential election, half loved Obama half loved Romney and in the end the fights and arguments got to be enough that it broke up. So try to keep to in game discussions or light hearted humor.

5) Don't Care. Same as number 1 just have to really push it. Remember its just a game, the events in it are not real, and have no effect on your life. They will not go in your permanent record, they will not reflect on your resume. So have fun and anytime someone gets too serious just laugh at them.

Hope these help, have fun and happy hunting.

I couldn't answer with regards to ESO, but my general experience has been that a player who accepts the game's mechanics for what they are and makes an honest attempt at playing well tends to be good enough by any reasonable measure.

For me, the trick hasn't been to hold off on grouping until I'm "good," but to dive right in, keep my wits about me, and critically consider whatever feedback I get. I find I improve much faster that way, often without even knowing how, when, or why I improved. It's like anything else; practice makes perfect (for reasonable definitions of "perfect"), and you can't expect to be good from the start.

It also helps to find good people, but you often stand a better chance of finding good people by grouping (though they may seem few and far between).

You're an introvert. So am I. It's nothing to be ashamed of, most people are, to some extent. Most however, are don't have a difficult time of overcoming it. I do, and it sounds like you do, too.

I have bad news for you though. There's nothing a game, or even the community in a game can do to overcome it. It's something you have to do for yourself. Believe me, I know. I'm in pretty much the exact same place. There have been times when I've been able to find a good group of people to play with, and those times have been glorious, because let's face it- playing an MMO with other people is TONS more fun than playing it alone. However, when I look back over all the time I've played various MMOs, I've spent much more time just soloing.

For some of us, it can be really tough to get over the aversion to interact with people you don't know, but I do know that it's often worth it. I am resolved to try, though. The thing to remember I think, is that once you spend some time with them, they're no longer people you don't know.

Well - it certainly appears I'm not alone on this. I've always considered my love of MMO's with such an insular attitude to be slightly unusual. I guess not that unusual.

I shall take on board all that has been said and will think about this before launch.

If there is another Beta run then I will try to find some group content and try to deliberately put myself out there to try it out and dive in.

Thanks for all the responses guys - it's much appreciated.

Ha. That is the problem with the supposedly "extroverted America" (If you are in the USA that is; it is known as an extroverted country).

Even though there is roughly the same number of introverts vs. extroverts, you guys are so quiet no one notices and sees you as the minority.

Edit: Ignore my dumb ass. I purposely read the comment of Euro server and failed to make the connection with the OP.

Me = dumb ass

I think you might've missed the OP's point.

MMOs differ in how much and what ways they punish groups for failure. They also differ in group mechanics. Both factor heavily into the likelihood of encoutering [censored] behaviour with PUGs. Plus a well designed MMO will have a gentle learning curve. Enough challenge so that something is learnt but not so much that failure is too likely.

So there are things that a game can do to minimise this problem.

It's a new mmo of course, everyone will make mistakes. If someone kicks off because you messed up, [censored] em, [censored] happens...

Something to remember. You are a faceless name on te Internet. If you group with someone who acts like a nut or worse /ignore them and viola you shouldn't ever have to see them again given the mega server tech in use in ESO.

Besides you can't be the worst player of your chosen class. Every time I think I've seen te worst someone surprises me. (Mostly pvp since pve can be done without a person on the keyboard just a decent macro setup)

I understand your feeling on not wanting to let down a group by making a mistake and I can assure you that everyone shares that feeling to some degree. Unfortunately my inference from your post is that for you this feeling is at a point where it hinders you from taking a risk. In essence it is holding you back. You have to realize that even the best of us make mistakes on occasion.

There is a little understood fact about most MMO's. The #1 top players (of whom I am not) in any MMO, the ones that are getting server first defeats of end game content are wiping A LOT. They are the ones that figure out the fight mechanics and suffer through all the trials. They are good players, well organized and have experience with multiple games to draw from. They are the ones that come up with the strats that all the other guilds use later. My point is that in order to learn and grow, you have to try. And, when you try you are going to fail from time to time, but in that process you learn.

You seem like a smart guy, who has enough xp in MMO's to be competent to some degree. I would suggest that you:

1. group up with people, start small and start slow. If you have fun begin to start a friends list of people you had fun with and feel comfortable around. *This is my main critique of quest driven MMO's: They really don't encourage grouping and learning to play together until it gets to the point where it is critical and stressful. Some people need time to not only understand their own class, but ease into what other classes bring to a group.

2. Do some background checks on a guild. They will usually have a mission statement of sorts and some sort of code of conduct. Guilds span the entire spectrum of gaming preferences and likewise should also have matching levels of pressure on members.

3. Research the Dungeon or Raid you are wanting to do. Like in my example above most of those guilds will post their winning strategy. There will be maps and explanations on what classes, gear level, positioning, special attacks ect. The more you know going in the easier it is for you and the raid leader. Most of the raid leaders who are running around barking orders are just reading a pre-published strategy guide that someone else came up with. With a little research you will know as much as they do.

I am of the more inclined to go single crowd than joining up with people. Reason, my gaming is sporadic and I never know when I am going to play a game or not. I also never know how long any game session is going to go, and there are too many reasons for me to shut a game down and come back to it later. To feel like I am being scheduled into a game session would more than likely remove the enjoyment for me. Also, I would not want others who would be dependent on me to suffer from my Gaming ADD. I tend to run off when ever I see something shiny and want to explore it.

I will do whatever single player stuff I can, and sometimes join up with others, but that will not be a focus of a session or a goal of a session.

I can understand that feeling a bit. In FF14 I have been taking my time going at a pretty slow pace just so I can enjoy the ride. My friends however are really focused and power forward toward end game dungeons and gear. Thanks to them I have always had a skilled group when running dungeons but they tend to run them a bit too much for my tastes. I much rather run one then go exploring or craft a bit. No rush to end game for me.

I also work shift at 2pm - 10pm CST most days, but can be hung to work a 16 hour shift at any time. No way I can make dungeon runs that are on farm at a certain day, on a certain time given my work. Since work powers my gaming, it will always come first.

That said since everyone is on the same server if you need a duo partner when the game releases give me a shout. That goes for any other introvert round these parts.

yes, this game is M rated, so no small kids here.