I know some settings that tone down the gore but you never really get rid of it completely. In the geck you can try setting some of the weapons to explode only for bombs and stuff and dismember only for the melee weapns. This is something easy you could do yourself. Then you can pretty much fine tune what weapons you want to do what.
In the settings in the geck there are a few things you can change around to lessen or increase the chances for gore.
icombatdismemberpartchance
icombatexplodepartchance
I think the dismember is like 75% chance and the explode is 50% or reversed the other way around. I have both mine set to 0. Ithought the gore was cool at first cause i never saw it before but after so many playthroughs it really got old pretty fast. Other settings are.
imessintactlimbdismemberchance
imesstorsoexplodechance
Write down the settings before you start messing with them so you know where to start. I have all mine set to 0 but I stil dismember and explode enemies but just not nearly as often. If you use the bloody mess perk you can also remove the explode chance from the perk and just take the damage modifier. with that perk every enemy I killed exploded and trying to pick through piles of parts for the loot was ridiculous so i needed a solution and that worked pretty decent. Now even after I messed with the settings and gort everything to 0 I still dismembered everything like crazy. Which i thought was odd since I changed the settings, so I had to go through and change the settings on all the plugins I have loaded and set them all the same and that seemed to do the trick.
Now for blood amount there is a setting for blooddecalamounts but I think it`s universal for all weapons. Not sure if you can up or down the blood amount by weapon type. Just glancing through the settings now looking at them I don`t see anythng. It could probably be scripted in to add more or less by weapon type but then you`d need a script on every weapon I think telling the engine what type it is so it know how much blood to apply. Probably can be done though. But the settings I mentioned above you can toy with and you might be able to come to something playable that you agree with. Just takes some time testing this and that until you find thew settings that work best for you.