You may want to try the originals again with a character focused more on diplomacy or stealth. This will let you avoid a lot of the combat (particularly the bigger combats when the turns can get quite long) and still enjoy the rest of the game.
i tried to learn once but got sick and tired of stupid things like "moving castles", cavalry that cant outflank the enemy and other stupid rules. i prefer Medieval Total War for that kind of stuff.
I'm not a big fan of Chess myself, too much emphasis put on specific stratagems and opening moves and what not. However I do think you're taking the game more literally than it's intended.
Chess is a game of strategy that is
representative of war. War is more of a theme, and while many of the tactics it uses have actual military equivalents it's not a "wargame" in the same sense as the game genre.
Oh, and it is possible to flank in Chess.