Chapter One: War of New York
Part One: The United Regions of the Capital

The Creation of the Capitol

Elder Owen Lyons, our first president was born in a distant land once called California. In the year 2254 he lead an expidition planned by the Brotherhood of Steel. Lyons' missions was to strip the Capitol of it's technology and go back to California, but once he got here he decided the technology could save the people of the wasteland. He decided to protect the people of the wasteland from the deadly supermutants, the dreadful raiders, and the terrirfying Talon Company Mercenaries. He did so for years until 2077 when the Lone Wanderer left Vault 101 and traveled the wastes, searching for his father, James, the man who sacrificed himself to allow his son to escape the Enclave. James had been trying to make a water purifier during the years leading up to the Lone Wanderer's birth. After he died the Lone Wanderer was captured by the Enclave, he broke out and disabled their leader, President John Henry Eden. Elder Owen Lyons' daughter, Sarah Lyons', and a giant robot called Liberty Prime attacked the Enclave controlled purifier with the Lone Wanderer and Lyon's Pride. Only Sarah Lyons and the Lone Wanderer made it into the Purifier where they killed Colonel Autumn of the Enclave. Then the Lone Wanderer activated the Purifier, sacrificing himself in the same spot that his father died for him.

After the Lone Wanderer's death the Brotherhood of Steel dissolved the remnants of the Enclave and pushed the group of former Brotherhood of Steel paladins called the Outcasts from the region. They then halted the creation of supermutants, killed off the raiders and slavers, and pushed Talon Company from the region. By the year 2286 Lyons had absolute control over the region. At that time many small settlements that had made treaties with Lyon's men where moving to the ruins of D.C. By 2293 they region was a country, named The United Regions of the Capital. Owen Lyon's was elected as it's first president. Under his rule a small country called the Republic of Dave and a hotel resort called Tenpenny Tower were annexed into the Region. By the time he retired there were seven states, Oasis, D.C., Rivet, Tenpenny, Canterbury, Megaton, and Arefu. Since then one more has been added, Lamplight.

Daniel Wake yawned as he read this. He was a fifteen yearold boy living in a town called Mirelurk, after a creature that had once inhabited the area. Mirelurk was located across the river from the purifier (Now called the Lone Wanderer Memorial). The year was 2331, the United Regions of the Capitol (URC) was at a time of war, they were fighting the Pitt, Ronto, and the Commonwealth over the land known as New York. The URC has had to resort to instating a draft just to keep troops within the area, Daniel was going ot be sent out to war in two weeks. He didn't want to study for the CTCC (Capitol Test of Complete Citizenship) which was required to take when you turned sixteen. But he had to take it now, before he was shipped out to the front lines because he wouldn't be able to return until he was nineteen, if at all. Daniel was terrified about being sent to war, his older brother Owen Wake (named after Owen Lyons) had only been killed six months before by a Commonwealth attack drone. The death toll was in the seven hundreds, with almost twice as many captured by Ronto to become slaves. It all struck fear into Daniel, the war wasn't going in their favor and many feared being invaded by the Pitt.

Two weeks later Daniel was standing with thirty other boys his age, all in the pale brown uniforms of the Capitol. They saluted Sentinentel Kane Laren, a legendary stradigist who isn't afraid to fight alongside his troops.
"Okay initiates," he barked in a throaty voice, due to smoking, "You will be in Battilion 27, we are to strike the route called the Interstate. If we are successful then the Pitt will be cut off from supplies and reinforcements, which will cause their offensive position to crumble. But if we fail then you all will be slaughtered by their brutal raiders. Do I make myslef clear?" The Initiates replied, "Sir yes sir!" Laren smiled. "Excelent. We will be moving out by vertibird until we reach Woodland, from there we walk by foot to the Interstate and eliminate the Pitt! Do you understand!" Again they replied, "Sir yes sir!" "Excelent! Dismissed." Laren said walking away. The Sentinentel's speech had released a small amount of terror he had felt. This man, a legendary war hero was going to lead them. He felt as if he had nothing to worry about until he recalled where they were going. The heart of the Pitt's transportation, the Interstate.

Thumbs up.

Thanks!

I'm working on Part 2, it will be pretty long (escpecially compared to this).

evil Talon Company Mercenaries? I object to this statement, the Talon Company does what it is paid to do, it is true neutral, if it was hired to do good, they would do good, it's just Bethesda's bad writing that made them the "evil" cannon fodder when they could and should have been portrayed in a much more neutral light.

Yeah well if a country rises in a region where they were sent to slaughter everybody I think they'd be potrayed as evil in their history books. I find them to be neutral but the Lyon's Brotherhood turned Capital Scribes don't think of them the same as me, or shouldn't anyway.

Part Two: Attack on the Interstate

The troopers were walking through the forest called Deadwood. The weeks before the war FEV was being transported by plane from a testing site in Vermont down to D.C. But the plane had a freak engine failure which resulted in crashing and spreading FEV throughout the forest. The plants grew without leaves and with bark jet black, it was making Daniel feel...paranoid. 'The enemy could be anywhere, cover all over the place...' They had left Woodland three hours ago, after the flight they were aloud to rest for two days before they set off for the Interstate. Sentinentel Kane Laren was marching at the front, holding a heavy looking hunting rifle he called Deadshot. Rumor was that he had been captured by Pitt raiders and tortured for months, but then he managed to convince him he was a weapons dealer and not a stradegist so they had him make them guns. After six months of hiding small pieces of a gun under his heavy jacket he managed to build the rifle in his cell. Deadshot looked like a normal hunting rifle besides the longer barrel, round drum magazine, grenade launcher, and crudely built scope on the top of it. After an hour more of walking the exhausted soldiers finally got to the edge of the Deadwood Forest with the Interstate about eight hundred feet away. "Initiates," Sentinentel Laren barked in his throat but commanding voice. "We charge the camp in thirty minutes, rest up and make sure your weapons are locked and loaded. We will attack their position close to that bridge and bunker down there until the Missle Men can bombard their bunker." The Missle Men was the nickname for the Artillary Gunners, they usually ride on brahmin pulled wagons or walked on foot with missle launchers. Daniel dropped down against a tree panting, he had never felt so tired. With his hunting rifle at his side he pulled out his cantine and drank about half of it without coming up for air. His friend from school, a short guy named Joe Porter the Second, nicknamed Junior plopped down next to him panting just as hard. "Why, huh, did, huh, we, huh, have to, huh, walk so long, huh?" He panted. "Probably to get this [censored] thing over with, the longer they hold the Interstate the more time they can bring caravans through, like how that recruiter says, 'Every second counts.' Daniel replied while checking his rifles magazine. "An hour doesn't make much of a difference." Junior replied. "It does when a major caravan is coming through in twenty minutes." said Sentinentel Laren as he walked over to them. They both quickly stood up, saluted their commanding officer and said, "Sir!" in unison. He waved them away and they sat back down. "Sorry sir, I didn't know about the caravan-" Junior began. "I didn't know either until about three minutes ago when ower radios were up and running again, we were supposed to spend the night here and move out in the morning," Laren said. "Are you both ready?" "Yes sir!" they replied in unison. He nodded, "Good." he said and walked over to another group of initiates.

The Pitt Raiders had been sitting around playing a game called Fighter where they punch one another in the stomach until there's only one person left when they heard the sound of yells and pounding boots. They grabbed their hunting and assault rifles and ran around the wall of their makeshift barracks to see a battilion of about forty or fifty troops charging at them. Before any of them could even proccess what they were seeing half of them were dead. Nine of the surviving trelve attempted to flee back into their barracks, only to be gunned down and the last three dove behind a rock and began firing back. But a grenade took them out quickly. Battilion 27 quickly got into the cover of the barracks, fortifying it as best as they could with bedframes and tables. "Great, know we just half to hold this position for twenty minutes and we'll have the Missle Men with us." Sentinentel Laren said.

The first hours was the worst, almost all of the available Raiders in the area were trying to take back their barracks. Daniel and Junior were given the difficult task of having to sit in the sniper nest and take down anybody or anything who looked to tough for the troops to handle up close. Daniel was acting as Juniors spotter as he shot down as many raiders as possible. "Where the [censored] are the Missle Men, they should have been here by now!" Daniel said right before he shot down a raider with a pack of dynamtie strapped to his chest. "I don't know but I don't like it, being a little late is one thing but it's getting ridiculous." Jumior replied. Then, ten minutes later things got even worse. Daniel was the first to see it roll across the bridge. He was awe struck at the sight. He was just barely able to yell. "TANK!" before it fired at the barracks, deafening anybody near by. He and Junior were throwen from the nest and hit the ground hard. Daniel was yelling as loud as he could but couldn't hear any of it.

Part Three: Escape

In the year 2291 the Pitt finished their cure for becoming Trogs and began expanding outside of the city. Eventually they sent scouts so far north that they were captured by the Commonwealth, which was expanding south. After a two week standoff the hostages were exicuted which lead to the Tri-State War. In 2309 Ronto scouts were persuaded by the Pitt to help in the war efforts against the Commonwealth, pushing them north and away from the place called Manhattan. In 2314 The Untied Regions of the Capital got into a conflict with the Pitt, which was trying to spread south into their land, which sparked a war between the two. By 2321 the URC had established treaties with small Tri-State settlements and had built many bases in the area. Ronto turned on the Pitt in 2327 and took complete control of their western frontier, and then they attacked and destroyed the URC's three foward most military bases. This series of war is referred to as the Tri-State War.

Daniel woke up panting, he must've blacked out for a few seconds. He stood up as well as he could and ran for the woods, ignoring the tanks and the Pitt raiders, just running. After about five minutes of his non-stop sprint he collapsed panting. He pulled out his 10mm pistol and looked around, wondering if anybody followed him. Then he heard a yell. "Initiate! Get you [censored] ass over hear now!" It was Sentinetal Laren yelling from Daniels' left. He jogged over to him and found his commanding officer with four other soldiers. "I'm glad you finally decided to join us," Laren rasped. "No sit down so I can tell you what happened!" Daniel saluted him and plopped down next to the other troops. Laren looked all of them over as if daring them to speak, and then began. "Well initiates let me be the first to tell you that our plan went to hell! The misslemen were attacked by an attack force that was heading for Fort Unity, no survivors. Then as all of you should know we were attacked by a tank and most of us are now splattered across the Interstate." He paused and a small thin boy named Gregory Reddin, the son of a war hero said. "What's the plan now?" Laren looked at him and said. "'The plan' is to make our way down to Fort Vargas, get reinforcements and strike the Interstate again. Lets move out!" Then he turned and marched away with the Initiates following.

After four hours of marching they finally walked into Fort Vargas, named after Paladin Vargas who died in the fight for Brook Bridge in Manhattan. They walked through the gates and went right into a alrage hut. Standing inside was Paladin Dom Moriarty, a very decorated war hero. "Hello Laren, Initiates." Dom greeted. They all shuffled and lined up. "Only five survived?" Moriarty asked. Laren nodded. "The only people who could have escaped that were the luckiest bastards on the planet or a very battle hardened war hero." Laren said with a smirk. "I take it you were lucky then," Moriarty replied with a small grin. "Troops march in!" He yelled turning to face the other door into the shack. Twelve men walked in, eight wearing the standered URC pale brown comabt armor, but the other four were wearing Power Armor. "Men," Moriarty said. "I would like to introduce you to Gold Squad Three, the greatest war heroes in the entire URC military."

BROKEN STEEL DUDE. He didnt die, Sentinel lyons saved him. he was responsible for the enclave remnants to be swept away

It sounds far better/more dramatic if the Lone Wanderer died in the Purifier (plus the URC doesn't even think Broken Steel really happened)...

I've played, beaten, and hated Broke Steel so it's not in my story.

This is a REALLY great story so far, but there are a couple things that are kind of making it hard to read for me (literally, my eyes are in pain as I stare at the words.)

Firstly, I notice that a lot of it is massive blocks of text. Take a look through and you will see what I mean. Trying to read through it, you have all these words right next to eachother which makes it very easy to lose your spot and also causes some strain on the eyes.


Also, don't forget that when a new person talks, to start up a new paragraph and space out in between. Example.

"Tim," Mike said as he ran a hand through his super sixy hair, "I have something to tell you."

"What is it Mike?" Tim replied.

"Im pregnant." A brief silence followed as the two sat next to eachother. "Tim, did you hear me?"

"I wish I hadn't... wait, your a girl?"



You get the point <_< Otherwise, good story! Keep posting, or bunnies will eat your kidney.

Part Four: The Battle of Spiderweb Bridge

The fifteen soldiers marched through the barren wasteland. "Almost there!" Laren hollered. Daniel Wake was exhausted. He had been hoping that Laren would let them stop before they reached there target but they had just kept marching and marching. They were on there way to Spiderweb Bridge, named for the cracks that run all along it. It will be a major vantage point for the URC, blocking off water caravans from the fron lines of the war. They would hold that position until reinforcements arrived, after that it was straight to the Interstate for round two.
"We're only five minutes from Spiderweb Bridge, lets take a break." Laren yelled. Daniel sat down on a rock and ate a punga fruit. While he was chugging the last of his water one of the Paladins, dressed in Power Armor from Gold Squad Three came over. "Are you Initiate Wake?" the Paladin asked. Daniel nodded.
The Paladin sat down. "I served with your brother, Owen. He fought well but a suprise attack on our camp was the end of him." the Paladin paused. "He... He told me to tell you and your family that, if he didn't make it, that he is perfectly fine with losing his life for his country, and to not feel bad for him because he is alright, and always will be." This shocled Daniel. My brother was so patriotic that he would lay down his life for his country? Tears sprung to his eyes but he held them back. Do NOT let them see you cry! Don't! "Thank-you." Daniel croacked. The Paladin nodded and walked away. Daniel stood up and put his helmet back on. He was ready.

They were all ready for the fight. There weren't that many soldiers in the bunker. One of Gold Squad Three's soldiers scouted the place, only counting six people. Daniel cocked his hunting rifle. "Okay men," Laren said in a hushed voice. "Initiates will charge the base from the front with me while Gold Squad blows a hole through the back wall. Everybody understand?" All of the soldeirs either nodded or said "Yes sir!" "Excelent! Move out!"

They stood there. With the bunker in sight they waited for Moriarty to come over the radio and tell them to begin. A minute passed, two, then the voice. "Go!" They charged, some screaming, guns at the ready. Three Pitt Raiders came out the front door, one with an Inflitrator and two with assault rifles. They open fired on the charging solders. Daniel saw a flash and his body went numb. Then he saw Sentinetnil Laren collapsed. He ran over and picked up his commanding officer in a firemans hold, drawing his 10mm pistol. He began firing at the raiders. In a second they were dead and an explosion shook the either. The explosion was followed by gun fire and screaming. Five seconds later Daniel was inside of the bunker face to face with Gold Squad Three. "Laren's hit!" He yelled to them, his ears still ringing from the gunfire. Motirarty elled. "Lay him on one of their cots!" He did, then he stepped back and collapsed. "We did it!" One of the Initiates yelled. "We took Spiderweb Bridge!" Then Daniel looked down, saw the blood on his chest and his vision turned black.

Part Five: The Taking of Outpost A-15

Daniel woke up.

He was laying on one of the cots in the Spiderwe Bridge Bunker. He looked down and instead of a bloody uniform he saw bandages. "You're finally awake." Laren said. "How long has it been?" Daniel asked.
"Five days, I've only been up and moving for two," said Laren. "Thanks for saving my life Initiate, or Knight."
"What?" Daniel asked. "Congradulations Daniel Wake, you have been promoted."

Daniel managed to get from, what the Medics called, critical condition to normal condition in three more days. "Change of plans men," Moriarty shouted to the troops. "We are going to blow up Spiderweb Bridge so their supplies will be a little more complicated to deliver. We move out in an hour, dismissed!" The soldiers quickly went to work planting C4 and mines on the already weak bridge. It took forty-five minutes before they finished and were at a safe distance. A younger soldier named Ruthen had the detonator set. "Fire Initiate!" Laren barked. Ruthen pressed the button and the bridge fell to pieces. The sound was deafening, even from their distance, smoke and rubble shot up high in the air. "Let's moce out soldiers!" Moriarty yelled and they began walking again.

The next day at noon they, once again, arrived at the Interstate. "Alright men this is it, all of us will charge Outpost A-15 and then the Interstate will be ours. We move on my signal, ready yourslves! Three, two... one MOVE!" Laren yelled. They charged Outpost A-15, four or five of them being killed by snipers. Daniel ran in and fired at a Pitt Raider with a Missle Launcher. His head blew off. "Wake, grab that Missle Launcher and take out those sniper nests now!" Moriarty yelled, shooting a Pitt Raider who was running at him with a chainsaw. Daniel lifted up the heavy Missle Launcher and fired at the nest near the main gate. It burst into a ball of fire. He pulled a missle off of the Pitt Raider's corpse and fired at the second nest, same outcome. But when he searched the Pitt Raider for a third missle he found nothing. Moriarty shouted. "WAKE TAKE OUT THE LAST-" Then he was shot by the sniper, killed instantly. The sniper took aim at Daniel and fired. But one of the Paladins, the one who told Daniel about his brother jumped in front of him. He was killed instead. Daniel and the rest of the soldiers who were still standing open fired on the sniper, tearing him apart.

They had searched the base with little resistance and managed to completely control it within twenty minutes. The Taking of Outpost A-15 ended up halting all caravans going down the Interstate and put the Pitt at such a disadvantage they had to sign a peace treaty with the URC to simply be able to feed their soldiers. By the year 2337 Daniel Wake was a Sentinental, leading soldiers deep into Ronto territory. He became a war hero and a legend in history books because War, War Never Changes.

Chapter Two: Synthetic Human Squad Eight, will be out soon.

And then Rivet city was incinerated by aliens.
Cheers!

Aha, Sebor is back again with another fascinating tale and hopefully he will finish this one. But then again, is really just the journey to he goal that makes the story great? Rendering the ending very unimportant? Food for thought. Regardless.

New dialogue, new paragraph.

"Hello," he said

He grabbed her hand firmly by the wrist.

"How ya doing!" She said.

Replaces periods with commas when denoting who is saying what. Excludes "!" or "?", look at my examples above.

Use more description, better word choices. For example:

He pulled a missile off of the Pitt Raider's corpse, and fired at the second nest, a blazing inferno engulfed them, their screams lingering on the wind.

I added the bold, because the original was kinda of boring, that's what I mean by better word choices, your description is pretty good, I just didn't any other words to describe what I was trying to tell you.

Use spell check, Word, Open Office, Google/Firefox, all have a spell check capability. You spelled missile wrong almost the entire time.

Anyway, I found this slightly hard to read because of the spacing, which I think would be easier to read if you spaced the dialogue like I said. At any rate, very unique story. Keep it up.

Good Luck.

Thank-you and I am sorry... I couldn't think of anything to add to Richard Fray. If I think of anything I might post it.

Thank-you for the construcive critism, I've been trying to improve but this one was a last second idea.

Chapter Two: Synthetic Human Squad Eight
Part One: Creed of the Bul

(EDIT-Diary Entry 001)
I am B-27.
That is what I was told when I woke. I was not born, I was built and then they woke me. A woman in a lab coat held but the microfusion packs into me and told me my name.
I am B-27.
I remember, no humans remember I store in my memory drive, looking back and forth to see the other four who were dressed in a gray jumpasuit lined with white. B-25, B-26, B-28, and B-29 all lined up to either side of me.
It all started that way, the woman congradulating an old man named Dr. Rye for making the most advanced machines in history. We were sent to training, they told us we were going to become assassins.
I am B-27.
We were then sent on many missions. We were improving the war effort.
I am B-27.
It all ended when...when.............................................................connection lost.


B-27 and the other members of Synthetic Human Squad Eight (nicknamed Synth 8) were preparing for their thirty-first mission. To assassinate members of the Creed of the Bul, a group of representatives from small factions all over New York who operate from the city of Bul. They have managed to keep Ronto, the Pitt, the URC, and the Capital out by joining forces. Synth 8's job was to kill all members of the Creed of Bul except those based in Bul to cause conflict. Each were given a Rone Carbine, which could fire through cement with ease, a small pistol that fires rifle rounds called Zim Pistols, and a communicater to talk to eachother and the Institute. They were brought by heli-plane, a vehicle that looks like a plane but has a single propeller on top, to the Commonwealth's military base named Erie, after the large lake that is next to it. They used the base to flank Ronto who have not discovered it in it's six months of existance. Once there they used an All-Terrain Stealth Vehicle (called either ATSV or Stealth Cab) to get into the ruined city. B-27 looked out at Lake Erie, he know that if he were human he would be admiring the view. But he wasn't.

They reached Bul in less than an hour, when the ruins of the city came in sight through the mist and darkness they activated the stealth setting. When they reached the city suburbs the ATSV slowed from 60 miles per hour to thirty miles per hour.
'Institute in, can you hear me?' the radio in all of their heads cracked.
'Your signal is coming in strongly. We have just entered the suburban area surrounding Bul. Is Operation Right a go?' B-29's voice sounded over the radio, he was positioned as leader of Synth 8 because of being specifically programed to do so.
'Yes, begin Operation Right but engage no tagrets but your tagrets and those at threat level seven or above. Do you copy?' the radio sounded.
'Roger, we are exactly forty-two seconds from their meeting place. Prepare for combat.' B-29 stated, saying the last sentence only to his squad members. They pulled up to a building exactly forty-two seconds after B-29 said they would. It was plain, did not stand out at all and the fourth story had collapsed many years ago.

'Prepare to breach!' B-29 said over the radio. All of Synth 8 was standing on the stupe of the building, rain drumming against the ground and their invisible vehicle. B-26 had rigged a weak explosion over the lock and on B-29's signal he activated the detonator, blowing the door open almost soundlessly. They walked in quietly, checking each room along the way. They reached the stairs within two minutes of entering the building and B-29 told them 'B-27 go down and assassinate the targets while the rest of you goes up the staircase to make sure they are not somewhere else. I stay here in case B-27 needs assaistance.' They followed orders, B-27 walking down the staircase very slowly until he could see the room below. It was empty. The Creed of the Bul members who were supposed to be here were not.
'B-27 here, the Creed of the Bul targets are not here. Are they upstairs? After a minute the rest of the androis had gone through the whole building finding no sign of them. B-27 had rejoined B-29 on the first floor when he heard an explosion from outside. He ran to the door and found their ATSV in flames.
'We have fallen into a trap.' B-27 said over the radio.

Part Two: Professor Victor Dean

Diary Entry 002
I remember those says. When it was all calm and peaceful. Before they came back for us.
I wasn't B-27 then, I was human.
Then it was all destroyed. But at the time it was great.
I wasn't B-27 then.

The gunfire peppered the building. B-27 ducked away from the door and into the next room before he was hit by a bullet. B-29 wasn't so lucky and bullets tore him to pieces. B-26's voice crackled over the radio, 'I am at a sniping position on the third floor, it will be difficult for them to hit me-'
But as he finished a missle hit the wall next to him and destroyed him instantly. B-28 came running down the stairs, he pulled the pin off of two frag grenades and ran outside, being shot on the stoop and the grenades exploding harmlessly next to the destroyed car. "Please stop firing! We surrender!" B-25 yelled aloud from a second story window. "Leave the building unarmed with your hands in the air!"
Somebody outside yelled. B-25 came down after a minute, she didn't have her rifle. B-27 put his down and walked outside next to her. Two of the men, most likely members of the Creed of the Bul, came over and tied his hands together, then B-25. "Our boss wants to meet the two of you." He said glaring at them.
'What do you think he wants with us?' B-25 said over the radio. "No using your radios! We can here every word you say. No talking either." They were then escoted to a cart pulled by six brahmin.

B-27 and B-25 were lead off of the brahmin pulled cart and brought into the ruins of a Pre-War bar. They were brought down to the cellar and told to wait for 'the boss.' After about five minutes a man came out of the room, he wore a dirty old lab coat, a ripped vault suit, and old, worn combat boots. "Is it really necessary to have our new friends bound like that Sam?" He adressed one of the men. "Sorry sir." Sam said, cutting the ropes that bound the androids wrists. "Excuse me, I am Professor Victor Dean, former owner of Lake Erie Laboratories and currently leader of the Creed of the Bul. I understand you two are androids from the Commonwealth, correct?" Dean asked. B-27 nodded. "I once worked with them so I expect that the two of you have numbers instead of legitament names, right?" Dean asked. "I am B-27 and this is B-25." B-27 stated proudly. "Interesting, you seem to be one of those who will not convert easily, never the less I have changed many, Sam here was once an android. He was number A-73." Dean continued. "Convert? I do not wish to change my ways, I wish to return to the Commonwealth to report to them what had happened to our allies." B-27 said. "It will take a while but I will make you human, in all ways but that you are mechanical instead of organic." Dean said.

After six months B-27 had finally cracked and began behaving normally. Every day he spent an hour with Professor Dean. "Now you have made substantialy progress B-27 but you need to now come up with the most important thing. A name." Dean said. "A name?" B-27 asked. "Yes." Dean said. After thinking for a minute he said. "Synth, my new name is Synth."

Ha I agree though your a much bigger fan of them, It shamed me when I slaughterd them In fallout 3 A long time ago.

Part Three: Attack

Diary Entry 003
I loved her.
Jenna, B-25, I had fallen in love with her. I told myself it was impossible for a machine to feel love but I did.
We were so happy. But then they-they came for us.
Why did they have to come back for us?


Synth woke up to gunfire. B-25, renamed Jenna was by the window,staring out into the street.
"What's going on?"
Synth asked aloud, Professor Dean told him he shouldn't use the radio while in the same room. He stood up and walked over to her. Synth examined her blank stare outside, he looked out the window himself and saw three vehicles he hadn't seen in months, eight armed men standing near them, shooting at members of the Creed of the Bul who had already gotten themselves outside, and on the vehicles was a symbol Synth recognized. It was the symbol of the Commonwealth.

Synth had walked out of the room quickly, down the hallway to Professor Dean's room. He knocked.
"Who is it?" Dean's voice came over the small speaker placed right next to the door.
"It's me, Synth, we're under attack by the Commonwealth." Synth replied.
"Get down the stairs and help sam hold them off! I'll be there in a minute."
Dean said urgently. Synth ran down th stairs to the minature armory near the front door. He grabbed a shotgun and a Alban made assault rifle. He ran outside one gun in each hand. There were only five Commonwealth soldiers now and only two Creed of the Bul soldiers holding them off, Sam and a skinny boy from King's Ton named Keith. Synth shot the tallest Commonwelath solider before he could throw a grenade which exploded and caused another soldier to be throwen against the wall of the nearby building. Then Synth heard a voice on his radio.
"We came back for you two. You will either come with us or be destroyed." It was Dr. Rye, the man who had built him. Synth didn't respond.
"You have three seconds. Three, two, one, FIRE!" Dr. Rye's voice cracked. There was a flash and Synth saw a bright white cylinder take off into the air. It was a missile. It crashed down on the building behind Synth, throwing him foward through the windshield of one of the ATSVs.

He woke up strapped to an operating table. Dr. Rye stood over him smiling.
"You're finally awake," he said smuggly. "You should have just surrendered. It would have prevented all of those deaths."
"Where's Jenna!?" Synth yelled.
"You mean B-25, don't you? How cute that Dean convinced the two of you to make up names for yourselves."
"Where is she!?"
"'She' is a machine and she is dead. The missile that we fired had been aimed right at the room she was standing in. It was Dean's idea."
"WHAT!? You know Professor Dean?" Synth was in disbelief.
"Well ofcourse, he's been working with us for over eight years, retrieving runaway Synthetic Humans. Why do you think he didn't go down stairs and fight alongside you? He knew we were firing a missile and was hiding in his panic room." Dr. Rye said.
"NO! YOU'RE LYING?" Synth yelled, refusing to believe what Dr. Rye was telling him.
"He is not lying Synth," Dean walked in. "I have been working with the Commonwealth for years."

Just check spelling and it'll be perfect, very nice job! :celebration:

I guess there is no real time limit for necromancy when it comes to fanfic.

So besides what Ranger said above me,

1.)Spacing as I said before.

2.) You usually want more detail the dialogue.

My two cents. I don't know when your going to read this or if you are, so I won't waste my breath until you get back.

And if you did read this....

Finish it. Finishing what you started always feels good.

Sorry, was pretty busy, here's Part Four!

Part Four: Escape

Diary Entry 004
They experimented on me, they realized unlike most synthetic humans I had gained true emotions while under the care of Professor Dean. They marveled at how I acted towards their mental torture, like how a human would.
They would have continued until the end of time if it weren't for that attack.
That God forsaken attack.

Synth was dragged back to his cell tranquil and broken. The guards let him drop in the middle of the floor where he lay for hours, reliving the horrors of the images Professor Dean and Dr. Rye had programmed into his brain. It had been two months since his capture. The first thing they had done was extract the radio from his head, cutting off all possible communications, then they checked to make sure he was undamaged before they started showing him images of the most morbid acts human beings were caipable of. Dr. Rye had declared him mentally insane almost two weeks before, admiring at how he seemed so much like a mentally insane human in his current state. Synth clawed at the jagged cement floor, he had been faking it for those two weeks. He wanted the two monsterous scinetists to believe him unable to do anything while he had secretly been stealing things. It had taken him a while, along with a lot of escape attmepts but he had managed to steal a 9mm pistol. Today he had stolen three rounds for it. The next day he would take one of the scientists hostage, whoever came to his cell and he would demand his freedom. Little did he know his plan would be interupted by a matter of hours.

After the Pitt and the United Regions of the Capital had become allies the battlefield had greatly changed. The Pitt had managed to take far more to the west and north land without having to fight on an eastern front and the URC managed to expand further north, around New York City. On the night Synth planned to escape the URC plotted a raid on the Institute, the Commonwealths leaders in technology. Thirty men charged the Institute, guns blazing.

Synth heard the gunfire from his cell, waking him. He picked up the 9mm and sat up. He was worried about what was going on, 'Was it an attack? Would they come after him? If it was an attack, who were the attackers? all of these questions went through his head while he fondled the heavy, black pistol in his hands. He looked down at it and wondered if he would ever have to use it.

The Institute had an emergency alarm when it's secrets were dangerously close to being revealed by an enemy. The scientists there were told only to press the button at a time of absolute emergency, this was one. The scientists thought it would put the Commonwealth into a state of panic but instead it was to destroy the facility with an incerator systme hidden within in the tiles of the ceiling, placed so it would turn almost the entire thing into ashs. An intern named George DeFay had started working at the Institute nine months before, he had been tasked with pushing the button if needed. He was wide yet short, but when he pushed the button he was nothing more then a charred skeleon.

When the incinerator went off it ignited the air, causing all paperwork and most people to be destroyed instantly. It was to melt all of the metal andf burn all of the papers. But Synth's cell had a thick wall and a broken flamethrower. Fire got in but it wasn't hot enough to melt the metal of his body. He was hit with a wall of fire, burning through his fake skin and making him into nothing but a robot. He screamed, all of his artificial nerves overloading with pain. The gun turned to liquid in his hands, most of his circuts fried. Then it was all over.

Synth laid there in the ashs, recording Diary Entries 001-004, breaking down a few times while he tried to make it so people found out about how they treated the androids at the Institute, or alteast how they did. Shortly after he had finished he lay back, remebering the few good times not destroyed by the incinerators he had with Jenna. Then he tilted his metal, artificial head back and died. His artificial heart stopping for the last time.

Word grew quickly of B-27, the android who had turned human. His Diary Entries had been found by a few teenagers who were exploring the rubble six months after the Institute was destroyed. B-25, horrified about what had happened to B-27 started a campaign against testing on androids in such a manner. After most of those who were responsible refused to step down from their positions a civil war broke out, forcing the Commonwealth to withdraw from the war.

Then the fight became even, the Pitt and the URC versus Ronto. A war kept legendary in textbooks for centuries to come.

Chapter Three: The War of Ronto will be out soon (Sooner then this chapter from the last atleast)!