What has happened so far: Joshawa has killed Moriarty and Gob has betrayed Josh in order to insure himself saftey. Gob has joined Jericho's group "The Hell Razers" and captured Josh. Josh has killed Gob and escaped the Springvale House. Josh has now made it to Rivet City safely.

*****************************************

Rivet City, probably the most safe place in this cursid Wasteland but the thing is I wouldn't be here for much longer.

"You there on the bridge what's your buisness in Rivet City!" Harkness asked.
"I am here to get supplies and maybe a few people to help me with....something" I said.
"Fine, but you cuase any trouble and I mean any I will have a bullet permenatley installed in your skull understand!" Harkness replied.
"Sure" I said as I walked by him.

I opened the door to the Rivet City market place, it was full of stalls and people all looking to trade, but there was a strange group of people wearing a strange type of armor and equiped heavily in guns. I decided to aproach them.

"Hell-".
"What the hell do you want kid!" The man in the middle spoke.
"Well if you would let me talk I was going to ask if you guys would be interested in accomping me to Megaton to get someone" I said.
"Why the [censored] don't you do it yourself!" The man said in a angry tone.
"Because I am not [censored] allowed in there!" I snapped back.
"Well why didn't you just say so!" The man said.
"Because you wouldn't let me!" I said angrily.
"Well sorry Mr. Emotional!" The man said "Do you want our [censored] help or not!"
"Yes but I need some guns and armor." I said.
"Alright here we have a spare uniform and here is a Assualt Rifle!" The man said as he handed me the items.

I put on the armor and grabbed the gun, it came with a strap so I put it over my shoulder.

"Oh and here take these." The man said, he handed me three 5.56mm clips.
"Thanks now lets go!" I said.
"Fine lets get the [censored] out of here" The man said.

To Be Continued............

Do you have spell check? Im seeing a lot of misspelled words. I have no idea whats going on and its sound really improbable that you just bust into rivet city and then you get into a small argument with some man about getting to Megaton, but then you tell him that they wont let you in so that somehow convinced him to take you all that way and give you weapons and a uniform for free... Im confused.

Show, not tell Josh.

The entire story was almost dialogue.

((I am switching to third person view because I think I write better in that. Italic writing will be inside the characters head's Kay, respect my authoritah))

Joshawa and the three Merc's from Rivet City were on there way to Megaton, it would be at least a day's journey before they got there.

"So, may I ask you three your names?" Josh asked.
"Fine if you want our names we will give them to you I am Twenty, the man to the right of me is Seven and the one to the left of me is simply known as Zero." Twenty answered.
"But those are not names, those are numbers?" Josh said puzzled.
"Yes well there is a story behind that but to be honest you have no information knowing about it alright?" The man asked.
"Fine, no use in digging up old graves Twenty." Josh replied.

Weird I wonder what the numbers mean, if Twenty won't tell me maybe, just maybe Zero or Seven would tell me, hopefully Josh thought.

The group continued on down the side of the River closet to Rivet City, they were all on high alert because it was well known that Super Mutants liked to occupy these areas along with Raiders.
As the group continued they began to hear maniacal laughter and blood curdling screams from a distance, this alarmed the four men and they had there weapons in hand and were ready to fight if it would come to that.

"You haunt these parts but I do not understand why!" A voice spoke out in a insane tone. "Are you here to try and kill us? ARE YOU!" The voice yelled again. "Well you cannot kill us we are different aren't we Smeagrel, aren't we!" The voice yelled yet again.
"What the [censored]!" Twenty said in horror.
"Smeagrel I know what we do we kill them, they cannot hurt us, us unhurt able!" The voice shrieked once again.
"Get [censored] ready to shoot guys I think were in some trouble!" Twenty said in fear.
"NOW SMEAGREL KNOW!!! HA HA HA !!!" The voice yelled out.

A hideous looking creature started to run towards the four men and they opened fire, rounds sunk into the flesh of the horrid beast but it did nothing, nothing at all.

"SMEAGREL AND I UNHURTABLE!" The creature yelled.
"[censored], [censored], fu-" Seven yelled out.

The creature jumped on top of the man and went straight for the throat with it's teeth, the creature bit Seven's neck and then pulled back, a chunk of skin and flesh was taken from his neck and he screamed in pain. The creature then ate the flesh and went for seconds on the neck once again, with the other bite Seven was dead and the creature's body must have had at least one hundred bullets inside of it by now but was still unaffected.

"What the [censored] is this thing!" Zero yelled as he shot his rifle, he continued to shoot but then his rifle jammed and he began to curse over and over and gave out one final scream before the monstrous creature started to feast once again.

"[censored] it Twenty [censored] run!" Josh yelled out in a desperate tone.

The two surviving men began to run down the side of the river but by doing this they ran into a group of people they wish they would have never ran into, Talon Company.

Damn, josh. Compared to your earlier work and the first chapter, most of chapter two was actually...good. You just need to make your dialogue less flat, and work on a handful of grammar issues. The story is still a bit improbable, but its your story.

Either way, as far as action goes, chapter two was great. If you keep going like this, I might begin to tolerate yout writings again. Just stick to third person, its a much better way to express the actions of more than one charicter, and the best way to do combat. Im not even capable of writing in firstst person myself.

Good job, josh, maybe your finally turning over a new leaf. Just post in other peoples RP's and work on your fanfic, you seem to be quite a bit better at that than you are at hosting.

Don'y worry Josh, that was about 2-3 months ago, we all get better, with time Its just showing you're getting better. Ever thought of a TES fanfic?

Don'y worry Josh, that was about 2-3 months ago, we all get better, with time Its just showing you're getting better. Ever thought of a TES fanfic?

Yes, his work is improving, though mentioning a TES FanFic is....a little too early, given his ability at the moment. One day, perhaps...

I am actually working on a Fan Fic/ RP in the TES section, that is were I started out.

Thank you Sannes it means alot, oh and I am sorry fore being such an @$$ earlier in the month.

Well to be honest I do not think I am ready for that after what I heard, but that does not mean I am not planning.

Thanks Shadow means alot coming from you, oh and I am actually working on a TES FF/RP have not decided but it's just an idea...

Well, no need to Rush (2112) with it, time is essential. Ever need help, feel free to ask.

I know this has nothing to do with this topic but i need help

I am not able post unless I only do quick reply and I cannot PM anybody or start topics??? Whats wrong??

Ask a mod.

The two Talon Company Mercs stood in front of Josh and Twenty guns in hand, "So little boys what brings ya to D.C.?" One of the mercs said.
"OH I think I know why there here, they want to get shot hahahah!" The other Merc said.
"Wait, wait, wait these guys have not done anything to harm us so lets just kill them painlessly!" The other merc laughed.

Twenty threw a punch and it landed in the jaw of the Merc on the right, Josh then punched the merc on the left and then took it's gun from its hands and shot it into the Mercs chest armor. The bullet penetrated the armor and pierced the Mercs skin, he fell back in pain and Twenty had already killed the Merc on the right.

"Smeagrel! SMEAGREL! WE MUST KILL THEM!" The Monster yelled.
"[censored]! Not him again, whatever he...she is?" Twenty cursed.
"Well we only have one option die, or die fighting" Josh said.
"This thing must have a weakness there is no way that it is impossible to kill this thing there has to be a way!" Twenty said.
"SMEAGREL THERE THEY ARE LETS FEAST!" The Monster yelled.

Twenty and Josh lifted there Rifles as soon as they say the Monster, immediately they opened fire on the Monster and it seemed as if the Monster just absorbed the bullets. The Monster jumped towards Twenty and tackled him to the ground, Twenty grabbed the Monsters throat to hold him off but the Monster was over powering him. Josh smacked the rifle against the side of the Monsters head, it fell off of Twenty and Josh grabbed him and threw him into a barrel that was being used as a fire place, the Monster went into the fire and it started to scream in pain "SMEEEEAAAAAGRRRRREEEELLL" The Monster yelled. It got up and ran towards the river and then jumped into the water extinguishing the fire.

Will finish the chapter later..

This can be closed for now as I have a TES FF and The Manhattan War open I will not have time to do both so...