!DISCLAIMER!

This is not an attempt to ask for advice or get ideas, this is just out of complete and total curiosity based on a story I heard on the radio yesterday.

Yesterday morning whilst listening to the radio, I heard a story about how much money and time people (Americans, I'm presuming) waste on dating until finding "the one" that they marry. Part of the story included the most popular versions of dating, and I was surprised that movie and/or dinner topped the list.

I've always thought that seeing a movie was a poor idea for a date as it's hard to talk with the other person during the movie.

Now, I'll admit, this radio station plays 'classic hits' so it's aimed at those who are 'middle aged' and higher (I've listened to this DJ since I was a little kid, and he plays a lot of the same songs he did back then- late '70's and early '80's), so the story may only represent a small portion of the populace.

This got me to thinking, though: what qualifies as a date, and what makes a good date?

In my 38 years there have been only been two time that might possibly qualify as a 'date', but I don't count either of them as such, so I have no personal experience to draw from. IF any of you remember me saying anything about ex-girlfriend..... that was a unique set of circumstances that most likely should have never happened and the likelyhood of anything like that happening again are probably about the same as me winning a huge lottery jackpot. As in, not gonna happen.

So, tell me what you think, and I'm sure that I'll see a few JAHO's pop up. I thought I'd have a longer post, but I most likely forgot something I had originally planned to add...

For teenagers, ie: Where dating becomes something essential to their lives or omg they're gonna die!!!!, Dinner and a Movie is about all they are going to get because most likely it's mommy and daddy who are paying, and no parent(including myself) is interested in shelling out money for their children to take someone elses kid on a date. For older people, it's because that's what was considered the penultimate date back in the day, though with the caveat(because you mention not being able to talk), it was more likely a drive-in movie and dinner afterwards. It's a little more easy to talk(and fool around) when you're watching a movie while in your car. For late young advlts/early middle agers, Dinner and a movie is still the penultimate date for many because you likely have kids and a host of other responsibilities, so not only do you likely not have a lot of time for a date, you probably don't get to go out and watch movies like you did when you were younger, and for the most part, people enjoy watching movies.

That's my viewpoint on why Dinner and a Movie are considered the standard for a date. Now obviously if you aren't married as an early middle-ager or late young advlt you will have a decent amount of extra free time, so then a date can be whatever you want it to be. Around my area, if you aren't married(or honestly, even if you are) going to a bar is also considered a "good" date(I disagree), but I imagine that's more of a regional thing. I could just as easily see someone who lives near the water to take a date to the beach and walk along it, or those who live near major sporting arenas to take a date there, but Dinner and a Movie will likely always be the standard.

Edit: Realized I skipped part of what you wanted answered. I'm afraid though I don't have much to add, as me and my wife fall into the late young advlts with kids who consider Dinner and a Movie to be a good date. We get to go out once a year(on our anniversary) without our kids, so it's pretty much always dinner and a movie. Add onto the kids the fact that I can't do anything strenuous due to my back injury, and yeah, Dinner and a Movie will likely always be our go to date.

Getting dressed up

Waiting as gleeful anticipation slowly turns to the soul rending realization that they indeed are not returning your call this tends to take about an hour or two after agreed upon time for dinner.

A quick search of fridge for nearest access to alcohol....

A drunken stupor that leads to you reaching the logical conclusion...... "it is there loss"

Blessed sleep

(your results may vary)

1 of many silly rituals on the road to procreation....somewhere along the way we went from clubbing our desired mate and dragging them to our cave, to the painful (and sometimes expensive) process of today

Making some food or ordering take out, curling up on the sofa together while playing some fun with couch co-op games!

I prefer more simple things.

Thankfully I don't have to worry about the procreation thing.


As for what I consider a date, my criteria is probably a little different than average. Having multiple partners (who all know about each other) will do that, since I'm constantly evolving my technique.

On one date I had we just walked around and talked. Then went back to my place...

And we're still together three years later.

I'm a fan of simple dates in public places. I love going out for coffee or tea, that's my standard date. If it's a bigger deal, then going out to dinner can be fun if it doesn't drag on too long. Afterward, I usually press for walking downtown (light shopping if whatever guy is into it) and either going to the park or to one of our places.

Well, I actually married the first girl I seriously dated. We started dating at 17 and got married at 20.


Our idea of a date was just being with each other. From walking downtown to seeing a movie.


The thing about movies, if your actually going to watch it and not make out in the top row corner, is it gives you something new and exciting to talk about afterwards. An exchanging of ideas and opinions that actually give you a deeper insight of each other. You learn how and why they perceive things differently or the same as you. It's actually a good thing to do during courtship because in a indirect way, it tells you more about that person than normal small talk would.

I remember when my daughter was 6 years old I told my in laws that I was taking her out on a date. They got mad and said taking my daughter out was not a date. I replied that a date is taking a beautiful girl for a nght in town and after I said that I took my little 6 year old girl on a date. They were actually mad.


Back to the subject I think a date is when a guy takes a girl out for an evening and treats her like a lady. After 25 years of marriage I still take my wife out on dates. I still open the car door for her too.

Not really sure of the question here. I'm not really sure what dating is in general, I mean I have seen it and sitcoms and stuff but it baffles me. If I were trying to be in a normal relationship with a normal woman (the kind you see in commercials for tampons and stuff) I would probably just copy that. But it seems like all the dating I've done has just involved bringing a lot of alcohol or some weed to one of our places and ordering in and then just farting about with the tv or somebody's music collection and goofing off until probably awkward six ensues or we just pass out. I consider that both courtship and how I normally act in a relationship.

I have done this dinner and a movie thing. I will say it is quite good, but I don't consider it dating because it's just like we're in this relationship and we're both hungry and we both agree that we want to see the same movie. Or we do go out to eat because nobody wants to cook or because it's Friday and you have to get all the negative energy out and eat a good meal so there's a proper base to pour alcohol down our gullets for the rest of the weekend.

What is a date?!

{Throws Glass}

A Miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk...have at you!

https://youtu.be/iJH2IYFLUeo.

This is a http://previews.123rf.com/images/arisanjaya/arisanjaya1103/arisanjaya110300029/9109558-dates-Stock-Photo-dates-fruit-date.jpg

Yes!!

I don't really get this concept of dating anyways. Like it is some formal thing. A remnant of courtship that is outdated from a time, where the guy had to ask the father for their daughters hand etc. So, is going out with your sweetheart a date, while also, asking a friend to join for coffee at a bar somewhere a date as well? Are dating exclusively for courtship? Does dating put the whole thing of courting into a box that makes it easier to loosen up, when you know there are certain rules and do's and no do's?

Also, I once watched a show on TV regarding blind-dating, and there was nothing intimate about it. It was more like job-interviews! Where each person sort of had this internal checkbox system if the other checked enough boxes to be worth considering, lol

While, me and my wife did go out together, and still do, we don't call it a date. It isn't some formal thing, just us having a good time. We are very different in many ways, yet also click in the right ways on so many other things. I dare say, if we had met at such a dating gathering, we wouldn't have ended up with each other

I think it is better to getting to know each other in non-formal ways, instead of trying always to present yourself at the best, and hide some of your flaws under a facade the other is going to find out down the road. It spells trouble in my ears

Medjool dates for life.

It's the system by which we can understand which day (that is, revolution of the earth), which month (roughly 1/12th of the orbit of the earth around the sun) and which year (1 orbit of the earth around the sun) it is. In other cultures, different criteria are used to establish a date, such as moon phases.


I hope this has been of use to you.

ha it's much more complex then that these days but that's basically the core concept, which still somewhat applies to same six couples.

So you're one of those polygons eh? That lifestyle has always intrigued me...how can you maintain a relationship with shared partners? Doesn't jealousy or other ugly feelings occur?

For me a date is spotting a nice girl from afar but never approach her in any way.

I′ve had so many dates in my life...

Fair point about "Not really sure of the question here", so I'll add a quick explanation for anyone who care.

I was raised... a little outside the 'norm'. My mother was old-fashioned and overprotective in a way I'll never understood. When I was fifteen she forbid me from ever dating and never touched the subject again. I'm sure in her mind that it was the father's job to talk about dating and stuff like that with the son. Her pick for husband and father... a real [expletive] who came home from work, drowned himself in beer, and complained about all that he thought was wrong in the world and blamed everyone else for his problems. Any advice he would have given me, I would have ignored.

So I've always felt isolated from everyone else; not like claiming I have Asperger's or anything, I claim it to be nurture rather than nature. However I'm still curious about the human condition and how we all interact. Also, I'm not lacking in desire, just lacking in interest in getting to the 'desired point.'

Oddly enough, when I was about twenty-five my mom complained a time or two about not having grandchildren..... then quickly acted like she had never said anything.

Oh, and I get you on the mention of how TV and movies try to make everything out to be. From what I've seen they're so far off from reality it's complete fantasy.

lol So that's where that line comes from. I've seen Skallagrim wear a shirt with "What is a man?" et cetera in some of his vids on his YouTube channel.

Of course it is.

I actually had to read that a second time before I truly got it.

Oh, and this is round three with that DAMNED CAPTCHA BS!!!!!

Honestly I'm just one of those people who doesn't get jealous all that often. I understand the concept, and I can identify situations where another person might feel jealous... but I just don't feel it. And my partners don't seem to be that affected by it either, from what they've told me.

Communication, in any relationship including polyamorous ones, is incredibly important and I think that is what keeps things stable. When you don't have to try and deflect / hide your body's natural responses ("I think that guy / girl is hot!") when around your partner I, personally, find it incredibly freeing.

Sounds pretty normal to me, but I went to Catholic school, so grain of salt. I don't really think there is such a thing as normal though. Nobody I've ever met has really seemed normal to me, like they could be in a Norman Rockwell painting or Leave it to Beaver. Normal to me is like you have some real underlying damage somehow or maybe you have some weird traits, though maybe when I meet someone I think is "normal" I just tune them out... or more likely I just don't know them well enough to see how jacked up they are.

I can't rightly judge if your life is completely disingenuous hipster dookie or you really have it going on, but I kinda wanna be you right now.

Hehe, you make it sound kind of easy, but it really, really isn't. My older sister has been in a polyamorous relationship twice now, and both times it ended pretty damn badly, with from what I've heard where some house-collapsing arguments, and my sister entirely devastated.

All I can say is, if you and your partners are capable of making it work, that's pretty damn impressive, but try not to trivialize(not that I'm certain you are trying to, but saying it's JUST communication is really selling it short) how hard it really is to keep a multiple partner relationship afloat.

A "Date" is a word a man uses to save face when describing an extended, close proximity encounter with a woman that did not result in a "homerun".


"Dating" is a string of these failures until the desired "homerun" outcome is achieved.