» Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:41 pm
Grimmr Altaborg, the insane Nord, stumbled about, drunk on the lily-wine of Dibella. He was fortunate to have gotten his clothing and armor on before he was kicked out of the "religious ceremony" which he mistook for a free night at a brothel. The snow fell upon his frosty body, granting him a soft white blanket upon his shoulders and head. To Grimmr, this was relatively warm weather, and he was content to don a cloak and lay down in a dark alleyway between two nondescript houses.
"Halt!"
He leapt to his feet, claymore in hand, and beheld a guard prodding him with a spiked mace.
"Halt!" shouted the guard, kicking him in the legs. "Vagrancy is illegal!"
Grimmr snorted and snarled, bringing his claymore up to his shoulders. "I am not aware of your laws, nor do I care for them."
The guard was taken aback by the Nord's defiance. He had never seen such a tall, strong, well-armed and fearsome person before. If this brute had not spoken the Dragon's tongue, he might as well have been a giant. "You are under arrest! You are guilty until proven innocent! You are a subject of the Emperor!"
Grimmr showed his teeth and narrowed his eyes. "Let me ask you a question, civilized man... do you know what it is like to see your own legs and intestines scattered in the snow?"
The guard raised his mace, but his shaking knees knew fear in that moment. He could do little else other than stammer, "Halt! Halt!"
Thusly, Grimmr educated him in what it was like to see his own legs and stomach scattered in the snow. He found the guard to be carrying multiple suits of leather and chainmail in his pack. Perhaps he would have stood more of a chance if he had actually been wearing his armor, but then again, against a Nord's fury, perhaps not. No sooner had Grimmr filched a few gold coins and a few medicinal herbs than more guards appeared from the foggy night.
"Halt! Halt! Halt!" they shouted, carefully walking toward the Nord, hoping that their superior numbers could overwhelm him.
Grimmr simply ran at one and punched him in the face. The guard's vision went very hazy, and he almost saw the blood rushing into his eyes. He felt as if he was wavering back and forth, his head tilting diagonally up-left and down-right repeatedly, never quite finding the center. Another punch sent him head-first into the snow, although his head remained upright. The other guards were quickly cleaved and hewn by the Nord's claymore.
Even as more guards could be heard shouting "Halt!" in the distance, Grimmr took his time in rifling through the guards' belongings. They seemed to have enough Mithril, Ebony and Orcish pieces of armor between them to make a full set, not to mention an abundance of shields, axes, daggers, bows and other random weapons. Clearly, the Emperor had become too comfortable and fat with taxes to have any sensible logistics for the guards. Clearly, the nobles of the Empire were too busy filling their coffers with the fat of the land to pay attention to how the guards were trained. Clearly, the guards were too content with their gang-like practices to be capable of harrassing anyone stronger than a common peasant. Indeed, they were clearly too stupid to gird themselves with the greatest arms and armor that the Dragon-Emperor could ever afford.
The next day, after some hard negotiation with the local armorsmith, Grimmr walked out with a bank note for a rather large sum of gold - enough to buy a house. He was not one to settle down, however, and decided to test the limits of this decadent, civilized city. He walked up to a woman and tapped her on the shoulder, asking her the whereabouts of the Fighter's Guild. He repeatedly shouted and screamed at her until she finally gave in and marked it on his map - by that time, she was in tears and pleading to be left alone. In order to thank her, he removed her head from her shoulders, wiped her blood across his face as a sort of war paint, and waited eagerly for the guards, with all their valuable treasures...
((I didn't check to see what actually happens when you do vagrancy in Daggerfall, but I remember a lot of other details))