Aesthetically, I prefer gritty low-fantasy games and realism with the occasional high-fantasy shock like stumbling across Shivering Isles. Looks are a plus, but not a priority. Compatibility is a big deal. I have not played OOO or FOCM so I would consider those if they are still good choices. I usually play thief characters, but I throw in a school of magic every once in a while.
In order of importance:
- I'd like the world to seem unfamiliar to some degree
- I'd like new game content like new quests and NPCs
- I'd like gameplay tweaks that improve realism/difficulty (in terms of stealth, economy, combat, magic, etc.)
If you are suggesting a list, please put the essentials first and then let me know what other mods I should look at after which are compatable with the essentials you listed. I don't mind looking up and reading about each mod you list, so description are not super important, but do please make sure the mods you suggest actually work together. If you know of a place that already suggests mod combinations for players like me, links to those would also be greatly appreciated. Thanks!