ok there are the basic stats but then there are perks under it. what should be chosen firstr the basic strength luck charisma ect or start picking perks underneath the basic stuff? any guides for it or anything

I maxed intelligence asap.... More experience equals more levels equals more perks.

I play on survival so first three perks I get are in order:
1- gun nut : more dmg, more survival

2- scrounger: significantly helps with finding and building up good stocks of ammo. Earlier you get it, the more you accumulate

3- science: only way to make adhesives a zero issue is build your own adhesive farm. i prefer giant industrial water purifier and never worry about purified water for any crafting. Need 6 int though to go this route.

Alternate basic perk if not above would then be armor nut