" Long ago, one evening, when I was just an ashy-cheeked merling barely out of short-breeches, I climbed into the lap of my Grandserjo as he sat by the fire with the words of Holy Vekh. He was wizened old Tongmer of prodigious years and thick white whiskers who'd seen all corners of ol' Tamr'el in a long, long career. Then I asked "Muth Grandserjo, we Dunmer are quite long-for-this-land by the grace of ALMSIVI. Six-score good years for even humble Netch'mer. But for how long do the infidels toil in their ignorance, Grandserjo? I've asked everyone, even my schoolmaster, but no one seems to know."
My Grandserjo put aside the words of Holy Vekh and thought for a moment, eyes peeled on the fire dancing in the hearth-pit, the good lines of his face forming mountains of pensivity.
Then, finally, he cleared his throat in a great roar and spoke: "Long since have I ventured out into the wilderness beyond Tribune-lands, beloved, longer since that I have had occasion to chop open an infidel and count his years like tree-rings!" a fine jest that we laughed at long and hard enough to cause the scullery-cat to poke her head in so see what was the matter.
"But as a I recall " Grandserjo continued
"The haughty mer of decadant Summurset see the most Frostfalls - 200, I'm told, is average.
The kin-eaters clans of the great leaf-forests, with their menwives, far less.
Trin'mac's Dung-mer are shortest of life, with 60 seasons meaning age'd.
Men-o-Cyrod, Breton-men, Northmen, and Red-men-of-the-desert all strive for a hundred, and no more.
But with Beast-pvssyl, both cat and lizard, it depends on the breed and who well you water and keep them."
I tried to thank him, but before I could even speak, Grandserjo, like lightning took hold of me and laid me over his knee. "I do this for your own good, beloved" he said with compassion" since you simply must remember to utilize The Bar Of Inquiry - so graciously provided by Blessed ALMSIVI - before you bother us old-folk with questions unending." Then he beat me like an unbroken ash-guar 'till my ashy hind-quarters turned ten shades of red."