Its funny, because the game wants you to side with the empire (as this is the direction your facing when you can make the choice of who you will enter helgen keep with) and the whole time i felt like a [censored] for killing a bunch of nords. Then i started a new char and was playing the stormcloaks, and i felt like even more of an [censored]. i mean he treats dunmer like trash, wont let argonians into the city... and i really liked whiterun's original Jarl.

I do not like him.
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I had a different experience. I was rescued by Ralof and liked what he & his sisrer Gerdur had to say about things, including Ulfric. And remember the Imperials knowing our starter character has been charged with nothing and is not on their execution list decide to behead an innocent person anyway? As bad as the Thalmor are said to be IMHO so i could see why the Nords were fed up with Imperial rule. Another thing is, the Imperials outlaw the Nord religion by outlawing Talos and even in Morrowind the Imperrials let the Dark Elves etc..keep their own religion beside the Imperial one only. So who is the racist , is it o.k. to be a racist only against the Nords and expect them not to resent it? So for lots of reasons, the Stormcloaks seemed better to me but perhaps more of a challenge to play, with Imperials all over their Nord homeland speaking loudly and freely about the Nords, while the Nords cannot speak freely about the Stormcloaks or even Ulfric even. Imperials kept treating the Nords like footstools instead of valued allies, the list goes on..but evenso i wanted to be more sure, so i waited a bit to be sure who i wanted to join, and then waited before going to Windhelm to join the Stormcloaks. By the time i went there i had a Darkelf follwer for some time called Jenassa, and not one Nord treated her bad (nothing like the racism many of the darkelves had in morrowind against outsiders, by a long shot) but when i brought this darkelf friend Jenassa to Wildhelm with me we ran into a guy who insulted me for being with a darkelf, i fought him down to his knees in a fist-fight right on the spot in Jenassa's honor and he surrendered before i killed him and changed his tune. Then i went to see Ulfric. Ulfric did not mind Jenassa being with me at all, in fact when i asked to join the Stormcloaks she stood right by my side and he at some point asked us, why would anybody who is not from Skyrim want to be loyal to our cause, and i answered because Skyrim is our home now (or something to that effect) and Ulfric answered positively, "Well, that is good enough for me!" Ulfric then allowed Jenassa (Female Darkelf) to hear every secret plan he told me (i am a female Nord) as he totally trusted her too just on our word. So i do not think the Nords are racist so much as they fear that some from other races may be Imperial Spies not feeling they owe any loyalty to Skyrim. This is why some (tho not most Nords) occasionally seem to resent outsiders, the Imperials were once fine for being in Skyrim, but they are the ones that got power hungry with their own control and interests in Skyrim being merely for profit and tactical advantage as they look down on Nords as Barbarians and treat them like crud.The reason why Stormcloaks are not seen rushing in on somebody's call to save Argonian caravans is that they think it could be an Imperial trap, like other Imperial traps they have experienced and that if not all there are involved in the trap-setting, all there could be beheaded, just as we (our character even just an innocent bystander) were nearly beheaded at the beginning of the game, least we so easily forget. So i am keeping an open-mind about Ulfric for now and so far so good. I'll know better when i am finished all the Civil War Quests. If i think he turns out to be a cad afterall, i'll let u know. LOL
As for the Jarl of Whiterun, i liked him too. I am sorry he was forced to choose and chose the Imperials or he could still be Jarl.

But remember, Ulfric did give him a chance to side with his homeland people and he was not beheaded by the Stormcloaks for choosing the Imperials instead of them. If the Imperials had won and he had chosen the Stormcloaks, the Imperials would have beheaded him if they won. Maybe the Jarl knew that. So at least the Jarl kept his head.

He was smart in that regard, at least

i'll miss him as Jarl too tho...