Ladies and gentlemen it seems there is 3 way tie for village idiot for there is a 3rd contestant for the grand title of village idiot and his name is...Heimskr!!!!

Nonsense. Aside from the bug that keeps Sinmir away when Whiterun's in trouble, the tavern is the perfect place for a Captain of the Guard. Being a central, popular location in Whiterun, he:
*spares scouts/couriers with urgent messages the hassle of trying to rush from one side of the city up the mountain to the furthest side
*Can be approached with reported crimes by anyone, improving coverage in the poorer districts
*Presents a friendly, approachable face to the public, reassuring the populace after the takeover.
*He has his own ear in the most popular gossip venue. He can find out when something is threatening Whiterun long before the issues make their way past the Cloud District to Dragonsreach.

He is the deity of agony and melancholy. Pain and sorrow. An endless dark void of nothingness.

Ironically, if he does become commander of the guard, he just sits on his [censored] all day drinking mead and liquefied sweetrolls.

Which is not a problem at all. He's where he needs to be when Whiterun needs him (See my above post)

Sinmir becomes captain of the Whiterun guard when the Stormcloaks take over the city.

No wonder the Dragonborn never actually speaks, cept in an ancient language almost no one else understands. It makes perfect sense!

Sinmir is Skyrim's Cartman?