You just made the situation 100x worse with this.

Unfortunately for you, the situation you set up for yourself is pretty much going to be decided for you, and this depends on who Ulfric likes.

Even if the girl has "daddy issues", Ulfric's not in a position to just his daughter go like that, unless he wrote her off and disowned her.

Let's say you do this: no man would go near the girl unless she's out of Skyrim. The civil war alone puts risk on the relationship, and should the couple be captured, don't pretend daddy won't favor his little girl even if he disowned her. He'll just take it out on the man dumb enough to marry her.

If things are warm and fuzzy, the man will literally fear the ruling relationship and if the girl does run to him because he's acting like a True Nord, you can bet Ulfric will put down the spanking.

It's lose-lose unless your girl packs up and gets her butt into Elsweyr or Valenwood ASAP. Black Marsh may be suitable as well, provided it's hospitable to Nords. Point is: get as far from dad as possible if girly wants a happy family.

ulfrics going to die later so his word wont count.

True Nord women aren't "given away".

What this guy said.

Maybe Ulfric lost a bet to Galmar D: I sure hope Galmar will leave her alone!

Well, now that we have all the ducks lined in a row, my answer would be Calder.

Familiar with Windhelm and a potential housecarl, the trust is already established.

If he's too connected to Windhelm for the young lass' preference, then Balimund would be a good choice. Hard working, civil, and has his own shop. Riften's a bit far off for newlyweds to build a new home, so if HF is being used to move the NPC, probably would stick with someone close to their current employer.

she lives in whiterun but will move to lakeview soon. she did live in solitude but decided to move back to whiterun.

Finna was going to marry Lydia but she died today. she was going to marry her because she was Finna's follower for over 125 hours Real time.
Finna has Jordis with her right now and DAYUM! she looks good in Ancient Nord. I think she will marry Jordis but I dont know... yet.