I'll admit it. I'm an 80's boy. I spent lots of years rolling multi-sided dice in a dank cavern basemant, wearing a cape and showering every couple of fortnights, drinking pallets of Surge and scraping nerd boogers out from the A and B keys on the Nintendo to feast on. With kiddie man-boobs I frolicked.
And here I am today, with a strong message for the world: Daggerfall is the greatest RPG video game of all time. If you go your whole lifetime without playing Daggerfall, you're about as valuable as an empty spray can of cheese. You might as well throw yourself on a fire and be done with it.
My information comes from a depressingly expansive and wasted life of multitudes of RPG video games. While I could be out mowing the lawn, or changing my dog's 6-week old water, or mailing out the overdue bills, or feeding the escaped convict I keep chained in the woodshed, NO. I'm playing me some Daggerfall, [censored]es.
And no, the reason Daggerfall is awesome is NOT just that it's the first game to ever show nipbles. While a 16-bit, 20-pixel pair of hoo-haws is definitely where it's at when you're a man who women in real life call a, “no-brainer,” and whose girlfriend is really only in it for the money (and she seems to be taking a liking to the escaped convict), the real awesomeness of Daggerfall is in its SOUL.
I'm not talking standing-in-a-sweat-pool cocaine-infused James Brown soul, or even Hendrix's psychedelic flower-pants and scarf. I'm talking good old times 1990's computer game soul. Like the sound pigs make in Daggerfall, but also was used in Warcraft 2 when you clicked on a farm. Or hearing the Daggerfall bat sound in cheesy 80's horror movies. The whole game just FEELS cool, it has that saucy relic feel.
Daggerfall was probably created by about a dozen people over a few years in a windowless basemant. Several of said dudes probably spent most of the time writing on notebook paper (yeah, that's right. Paper.) and creating a huge wealth of quest dialogue, books, storylines as well as descriptions for how awesome the pixellated tah-tahs should be. Imagine being a game designer soaring on the tip of this new computer-RPG wave, defining a genre based on what they personally enjoyed.
Nowadays among designers it's all, “What sells? What can we take from other games, and put into this new game? What aspects does Mr. Average Geek enjoy? What kind of downloadable content can we add?”
Back then, it was just, "What sounds cool?"
I imagine the crazy work they must've put into good old Daggerfall, in regards to more recent RPG's. It seems like nowadays, all you have to do is put some crazy elf-broad wearing about the same thing as a cat's halloween costume, make her tee-tahs about twenty sizes too big, give her some kind of ridiculously huge weapon, and then add some retarded plotline about “Dark” this or “Shadow” that or “Dragon Age” this or “Lord of the” whatever...and you've got a fantasy RPG. Sprinkle on some orcs and axes and you've got the game of the year.
But Daggerfall was NEW ground. What other game boasts such a pointlessly massive free-form world? Who, to this day, even understands half of the stuff that goes on in the main quest? If anyone's actually BEATEN Daggerfall without using cheats or a guide, personally I think they should pretty much kick out whatever [censored] happens to be President at the time, and elect THAT guy instead.
And as for music, frankly I think every band on earth should just give up on their stupid garbage and everyone should listen to the Daggerfall merchant music. Fans, you know what I'm talking about. Daa-dehnehdeh-dah-deh-daaaahhh... etcetera.
I'd sing it but I don't have my cape on.
More to come, I have [censored] to do.