With a few exceptions, in every MMO that we've played where we have joined a guild (either through invitation or application), the following game-breaking events have occurred:

1) We are showered with gifts. Well-intentioned, but when we are given "The Ultimate Hammer of Foozle" at level 10, it utterly destroys the excitement of finding otherwise good weapons. No handouts, please.

2) We are taken on "speed runs" of every dungeon to "get us geared up". Again, destroys the joy of discovery and learning, in the most meaningful and lasting way, the dungeon.

3) There are 7 or 8 masters of every crafting profession already in the guild. Nothing wrong here, but it dampens our enthusiasm and lessens our sense of contribution.

4) When raids or hard mode instances are played we are required to put on headsets and join in Vent or TS and spend 50% of the time listening to what is often mostly adolescent humor.

I'm not dis'ing guilds or their generosity, they serve a wonderful toke in the community. I just wanted to put a thought out there to explain why some people may prefer to just solo or duo a game. It's not because we are anti-social, and it think the people who will play TESO perhaps understand better than anyone else what I'm talking about. Tamriel has always been about exploration and discovery. Guild leaders keep this in mind and maybe have a place for people like us who enjoy camraderie and companionship but want to preserve the joy of discovery and the excitement of finding blue gear!

Thanks

1) It is your decision to accept the gift. You're more than able to say no, or accept it and not use it.

2) Same as above, you're allowed to say No and not go on the Speed Runs. If the guild tries to force you into them, than those guilds aren't you for. Not every guild is made to your liking. You'll need to investigate and research guilds, find out who they are, what they stand for. Even if a guild has an application to join. That application goes both ways, it is an opportunity for them to get to know who they may be inviting, but it is allow an application for you to get to know who you may be joining.

3) There will always be profession masters, no matter where you go. Doesn't matter what MMO you play, there will always be someone who's gotten further than you in a profession. But the enthusiasm of doing the craft, shouldn't come from wanting to be the guild's best of the best, it should be the journey you go through to become the best you can be. The perk of being the best you can be is you can sell those items to whoever you want, it doesn't need to be members within the guild.

4) The Vent requirement is common, and if you want to do the Hard Mode dungeons outside of doing a PUG you'll want to join Vent/TS/Mumble. It makes the dungeon a lot more fun, and easier to do. I agree that a lot of times guild voice servers can be fiulled with "adolescent humour" but not all guilds are. Again the hard part is finding the guild that fits your personality and play style. There is a guild for you, just need to find it.

sounds to me like maybe you and the wife are more casual, than the average players in the guilds you have joined so far

so maybe you just need to find a more casual guild in this game? so that everyone more or less get to the same dungeons etc at the same time, if you do this i doubt you will be dragged on speedruns

then quite simply what you and your wife need to do is you need to form your own guild and YOU be the guild crafters and YOU make sure you and your wife get all the rare mats so that you and your wife can be the crafters everyone in the guild needs and looks up to, and quite honestly games nowadays are SOOO easy that powerlevelling doesnt save you much time and effort at all.

being part of a guild that uses voice chat brings u closer to one another and forms a tighter bond between the members of a guild usually, as far as the immaturity goes sorry but welcome to the human race, when two girls get together they babble about kids and soap operas etc when two guys get together they babble about six drugs and rock and roll etc, its the way humanity has been for centuries.....if your not into these kind of discussions then quite honestly my suggestion to you is join a you and your wife only guild, put your computers close together and talk to each other over the computer, but the truth is EVERYONE needs a bit of a break from each other and MMO's are a social gathering, enjoy the social gathering even if it is a bit immature for your tastes.

tip: go for lvling guilds and not endgame guilds

another tip : start your own guild from scratch.

Then you'll get the full experience.

I hate reading all the spoilers, every day in guild chat.

So the logial steps here are to:

Not join a guild and avoid them
Not join a guild but befriend one for the sake of raiding / training / trading
Make a guild of your own focussed on RP with a clear set of guidelines