Now, if male ebony armor was like it is in-game, but female ebony was very revealing, that would seem out of place.
Not ebony, but the Orcish armour has a rather unnecessarily low-cut neck on women that isn't present on men; some of the light armours do too, but, well, they're light armour, and when you've got some people running around http://www.uesp.net/wiki/File:SR-item-Fur_Armor_Male_02.jpg* it kind of comes of as being more clothing than armour anyway.
What really tends to bug me is more armour/clothing
changing significantly when, say, my character (a woman) picks them up from a man who had been wearing them; this includes things like Dragonscale armour which cover everything either way but still look different for no identifiable reason. So, basically, like you said, it's more it being different, at least in a game like Skyrim where all the heavy armours cover everything vital. Any other problems than coverage... well, I've seen that discussion turn ugly so I'll leave it be for now and shove it under "don't like the two types of armour being different".
*Now, if only I could get Farkas to wear that...
I dunno. It's just weird to me when a culture has their warrior men protected by full plate while their warrior women are in little leather bikinis. I know it's not necessarily an impossible scenario, but it just seems unlikely.
Well, it's an impossible scenario as long as the women are expected to actually fight in melee (which, of course, is very much the case in Tamriel, and the Elder Scrolls series pretty much unformly has them dressing accordingly). When you have them there just for show rather than for their military merits (that being the common
out-of-character reason for the silly skimpy armour, of course, but hey...), that's a different matter (and itself very unlikely).