» Thu Aug 26, 2010 2:33 pm
This is what you get when you play too much Oblivion while watching the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy before bed. I'm so happy I can remember my dreams with almost all details intact.
I was playing a game, which of course turned out to be Oblivion. I was actually IN the game myself instead of being glued to the screen of my monitor, even though I could still access all the menus. I was standing at the end of a long dock staring at the beach of a small haven. The reason I knew I was in Oblivion was because I pressed ‘R’ to switch to third person and I found out I was apparently playing as a male Redguard with dreadlocks.
So I started making my way to the beach. I then saw a woman with a young girl around 8 years old or so. The woman threw her kid into the sea, screaming “Help! Help! My daughter is drowning! There are sharks here! D:”. Instead of wondering why she threw her kid into shark-infested waters, I jumped into the sea, grabbed the girl and swam to the beach like the good Redguard I am. There, I just dumped her and made my way to the other side of the haven where there were more docks.
At one of the docks was this half-finished ship, so I went to take a look. And who was building the ship? Yes, Jack Sparrow XD. So I addressed him.
Jack: Why, hello there, luv. Came to look at me ship, eh? She’s a real blah blah blah rum blah blah blah more rum blah blah savvy?
And then… Jack’s moustache disappeared._.
Me: Dammit! Oblivion is glitching again! >< *reloads save, ‘cause apparently I had saved my game after saving the girl from evil sharks.*
After loading I found myself at the beach again, so I made my way to Jack’s ship and talked to him. Of course, he said the same things as before.
Jack: Why, hello there, luv. Came to look at me ship, eh? She’s a real blah blah blah rum blah blah blah more rum blah blah savvy?
And then… his beard-bangles disappeared! D:
Me: Raaaah! Stupid Oblivion!
So I reloaded my save again, went to Jack’s ship and talked to him.
Jack: Why, hello there, luv. Came to look at me ship, eh? She’s a real blah blah blah rum blah blah blah more rum blah blah savvy?
And my game DIDN’T glitch! Huzzah!
Me: I savvy. So… Jack-
Jack: Oi! That'd be Captain Jack Sparrow, luv!
Me: Sorry. So, Captain Sparrow. Where’s the rest of your crew?
Jack: Got eaten by the Kraken, luv. That’s why I’m rebuilding me ship ‘ere, savvy?
Me: … all by yourself?
Jack: I can build a ship perfectly fine by meself, ‘cause I’m Captain Jack Sparrow!
Me: I savvy… need any help?
Jack: Sure.
And I just walked away XD And for some reason the girl I had saved earlier was constantly following me. I made my way to one of the lookout-posts, which held a huge telescope used to spot evil pirate ships at sea. We – the girl and me – went in, and inside were two Norrington-wannabees.
I wanted to look through their telescope so I asked if that was alright. It was, and I looked.
In the far distance I saw this guy – which turned out to be Sao-Feng, the Sinagpore pirate captain from the third movie – followed by a huge army of evil pirates. They had no ship, but were walking on water ._.
I panicked, going “They’re going to kill us! I must warn Jack! D:”.
I ran back to Jack’s ship.
Me: Yo Jack! We gotta go! Now!
Jack: And why is that, luv?
Me: Because this evil dude pirate captain thing is coming to kill YOU and then ME and then we all DIE and I can’t DIE yet because I want to finish this bloody GAME!
Jack: No worries, luv. Your pirate-man will get us out!
And so we sailed away from the beach on a ship that was only half-completed. And then… came the dreaded SCENE-CHANGE!
I was still on the ship, together with the Jack, the girl and – for some reason – Elizabeth. We were no longer at sea, but sailing on a wild river in the middle of the jungle. Jack and I had to steer the ship together because Jack hadn’t installed the steering wheel yet, so we each had to stand at one side of the ship, and pull the sails to steer.
At one point the river split itself: the right arm slowly went down a mountain, and the left arm went straight ahead. The obvious choice would be to take the left arm, me thinks.
Jack: Oi! No no no no no! We gotta take the RIGHT arm, luv!
Me: Are you bloody crazy?! I don’t wanna go down there! We go LEFT!
Jack: I’m the Captain and this is MY ship! We go RIGHT!
Me: I’m too young to die! LEFT!
Jack: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
Aaaaaaaaaaand, the ship went LEFT! XD I win, ha!
Jack was going all, “We’re going to diiiieeee!” and the ship sped up. And it was then I understood why Jack wanted to take the right arm. While the right arm would’ve taken us slowly down the mountain, the left arm ended in a waterfall.
And so, down we went. Jack screamed like a girl XD Then again, so did I. The girl and Elizabeth had apparently lost their voices. The ship broke into a thousand of pieces when we hit the water, but we were still alive. Jack and I were clinging to this piece of wood (nobody cared where the girl and Elizabeth had ended up), drifting through this thick bamboo forest.
I was all like, “We have no ship. We’re going to diiiiieeee!”.
Jack: No worries luv. Your pirate-man will build us a new ship. Right here. Right now. =D
And then… my alarm clock woke me up ><