So, guys, I have a question for you.
Does anyone here have recurring characters in their dreams (besides themselves, I mean)? Because I've got a whole bloody ensemble, and I'm curious to see how many other people do too.
My dreams can be pretty varied and are
very rapidly forgotten, so it's hard to say. I know have had some strange dream deja vu before; sometimes I'll have a dream that I wake up feeling positive is exactly the same as one I've had weeks, months, or even years ago.
The only recurring character I can say with certainty is Jing, who I hate with a truly unexplainable passion. Dreams with him have a different "feel" from other dreams, and are very rare (I've probably had no more than 5 in my entire life) but it's very definitely him each time. The constant theme in these dreams is a sense of great, relevant importance. These are dreams of sudden revelation and invention, where your brain pieces together some problem that has plagued you for days, or produces some brilliant idea that you delight over upon waking. The problem, however, is that Jing is involved.
In my experience, he literally seems to be the subconscious personification of my personal failure, inadequacy, and flaws. Everything wrong with my mind, every mistake and bad decision that was entirely my own fault, everything I can't do for no other reason than "I'm not good enough." He appears in these dreams of revelation, and ruins
everything. How he does so varies with the context of the dream. One, for example, had a "secret agent" vibe to it, where the focus of the dream's importance was in a briefcase I was stealing, and Jing was a rival agent. In the end he succeeded, and made off with the prize. What's odd is that he never seems to be acting out of malice or anything, it's just what he does. His role in the dream just happens to be at odds. Sometimes his actions don't even seem to be directly related, but their culmination at the end just happens to dismantle all of my efforts.
What's
really odd is that while I've never had a lucid dream, and never know I'm dreaming until waking up, Jing always seems to know. At times he uses it to his benefit, and everything he does has a carefree flavor to it like it's all a game, and he's the one in control. Just as these dreams have a feeling of enormous importance to them, I'm left waking up with a terrible sensation of failure, like I just busted my ass taking a class I need, which will change my life, and being handed a giant F. I never get another chance. It's an awful feeling, and not surprisingly,
I loathe Jing. Why the manifestation of every aspect of my personality that I hate about myself takes the form of a young Chinese man, I have no idea.