your not going to find a whole lot of sentiment starting a statement with "TES games aren'r really RPGs". but thats based on perspective so its naturally not going to apply to every one. there are people who would say that it isn't a true rpg unless its open ended like TES. but people forget that role playing is such a broad term that almost any game including super mario bros. could be considered an rpg because you are playing the role of mario.
I'm not trying to be abrasive, but I'm not really interested in stirring up sentiment. I've played lots of games, some of which claimed to be RPG's, and some that didn't - but came awfully close. That said, I was in no way saying that TES games weren't good. There is a reason I'm STILL modding for Morrowind to this day. It was a superb game. While I don't play Oblivion anymore, it was at least a good game.
This is, obviously, just my opinion - but true RPGs let you decide (within reason) how to approach a situation, for good or ill. Do you take out the bad guy, or offer to be his ally. Then, the world reacts to your decision. Some will become your friend, some will become your enemy, and many just won't care. For example, if Deus Ex had been a real RPG, you could have chosen not to rescue Paul, and instead stayed with UNATCO. At some point, the game would have had to force you out in some way, either by giving you the option to switch sides in the future, or just pulling the rug out from under you. Instead, the game simply halts waiting on you to do what it wants. I was deeply disappointed when I reached this point in the game (though I still like the game)
Now, at least TES games give you the option to keep on playing while you decide whether or not to continue the main quest - but they don't let you significantly alter HOW you carry out the main quest - and that is where I call it. In the few areas where this could have been avoided, like faction quests, Bethesda still managed to drop the ball. You could join practically every guild with the right stats, and for the most part, rise to the top of all of them - even when that would be ridiculous. Then, on top of all of that, you were still criminal scum.
This is not a performance related issue, either. This is all game logic - not graphical rendering, audio, or AI. This stuff can be executed in the background alongside the garbage collector. It's a focus issue.