it won't select it i go into controls and devices and theres no like utton to say if u want to use the controller plzz help

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The 2 suggestions I'd make are:
1-uninstall and reinstall the driver/installation disc That came with the controller
2-(if its wireless) make sure the gamepad itself is powered on prior to loading game. Haven't had this issue in FONV but in FO3 if the pad wasn't on at game startup, it wouldn't be recognized/available. Adiditionally, if pad sat idle long enough n turned off game would crash n stop responding.